Disclaimer: I don't own Sesshomaru. I wish I could adopt him though.
Summary: [AU After Kagome loses her cat Buyo, she searches for a new pet to replace him. She soon finds and adopts a free dog in the Adopt A Dog services, not realizing the trouble he will cause. Now a full story series!
Adopt A Sesshomaru – Chapter 3
By Imperfectly-Yours
Kagome sat at her kitchen table and pouted. All morning long, she could only think of the previous night, and how nasty evil rotten rabid Sesshomaru had played that awful trick on her. She wasn't mad at the trick mostly, because it was just a big inconvenience, but because he had managed to pull it off, and escape any sort of pay back that he deserved.
She let out a loud sigh, remembering that after she discovered her clothes were missing, all she could do was walk to the bathroom door (she almost slipped, and left large puddles of water that soon attracted colonies of hair) and had to check, and double check, and triple check, no one was around, so that she could hi-tail to her room. When she dried and dressed, she looked around the apartment, finding that Sesshomaru had left! He was smart all right, she had to give him that, but she could not help but stomp around the house a little more. And when she sat down and turned on the T.V. she glowered at the screen, only thinking when Mr. Sunshine was going to return home.
"Ooh, the good-for-nothing little shi-" She mumbled to herself in anger, when she stopped as she heard the screen door being opened. She sprang up from her chair.
Suddenly, Sesshomaru stepped into the hallway, in plain sight of Kagome, standing there as if nothing had happened.
"You!" She pointed a long, menacing finger at him.
"Yes?" He asked, his voice remaining calm despite that at any moment steam was going to burst out of Kagome's ears.
"You took my clothes and towel out of the bathroom last night! And then disappeared after I had managed to run all over the house looking for a towel, sopping wet, and naked I might add!" She hollered.
"Perhaps." He remarked, looking at his nails in disinterest.
She glared at him with such a fiery anger that it almost burned a hole through his face. "Don't play the 'indifference game' with me. You know very well what you did."
"How can you be sure? I mean, simpleton, like you humans, forget to bring necessities and put themselves into the most peculiar situations." He stated very matter-of-factly.
At this, Kagome let out a long sigh and threw her hands in the air in protest.
"Alright, fine. It was a cute trick, a nice way to get me back. But now, I have something for you to try to swallow down. Since you remain in my house, and I did 'adopt' you, that would make me your 'master' of sorts. And so, as your master, I want you to take a shower today. I don't mind when; just take one whenever you feel you can handle it. Oh, and as a warning, if you flake out on me, I'll get an exterminator to come out here and get rid of all the tasty flying squirrels in the back lot." She said, her voice malicious, and a slight, evil grin rested on her face. He looked at her, monotony painted all over his face. He was clearly unimpressed.
"That is my punishment?" He looked at her with raised eyebrows. Her grin quickly faded.
"Well, yes. I mean, with all this new technology nowadays, I'd say it's pretty darn hard how to figure out how to work the thing without getting blasted in the face with something frigid or as hot as lava." She said, adding in the best descriptions she could to intimidate him. Still, he looked unimpressed.
"Should I be scared?" He replied, yawning in an over-exaggerated way.
Kagome was about ready to slap him, or slap herself for letting him take control of what was supposed to be her moment of come-back for the shower incident.
"Well, I'm pretty sure you've never taken a shower in your life. Anyways, don't you and your fellow dogs clean yourselves by licking your body?" She said, crossing her arms.
His eyes narrowed. "I believe you have gotten me mistaken with a cat." He growled.
"Oh really? Well I sure don't see the difference!"
(Insert a wanna-be ghetto guy saying "Ooooh, you just got burned!")
Kagome could not help but let out a snort of laughter. His angry face was enough to tell her that she succeeded in insulting him. She decided to leave it at this, and let him rot in his own misery.
"Well you know, I have better things to do than throw insults at you. Tell me when you're going to take your shower. I want to record your screams of pain." She added, with a slight smirk, walking away to the living room.
She soon reached the couch, and sat down, sinking into it with relaxation. Reaching for the remote, she clicked on the T.V., greeted by the calm voice of an older lady.
"Flying squirrels are among nature's most graceful animals. Watch this young squirrel, which researchers have named Nutz, soar from tree to tree. Notice the skin near its arms as it spreads its limbs to fly, much like a hairy bird."
Kagome changed the channel when she suddenly heard the clicking of the bathroom door being shut. With a silly grin on her face, she dropped the remote on the seat of the couch, and crept silently to outside of the door, pressing her ear against it.
She heard the slight movement of walking – the shuffling of feet, and the curtains of the shower being yanked open. She smiled slightly – no, it wouldn't be long now. After all, she forgot to mention that the shower knobs were backward, so if he were to turn what was labeled hot, he would actually be greeted by frigid water…
She heard what sounded like he was stepping into the tub, and had to suppress a giggle. This was going to be good.
And then, she heard the loud squeaking as he was turning the knob of the shower, and the pounding of the jets of water that hit the tub.
"Heh, the wench was lying. This isn't too bad." She could hear him say, his voice muffled. She then heard him turn the knob a little more.
She giggled. She began a count down in her head.
3…
2…
1…
Suddenly, a loud howl erupted from the bathroom, and a lot of stomping around could be heard.
"Its ice water!" He bellowed, and he began frantically turning the knobs, in an attempt to make it even a little warmer. At this point she was laughing silently, covering her mouth in an attempt trying not to make a sound. But soon, she could hear him sighing loudly in relief.
"Finally. I could have sworn that other knob said 'Hot.'" He announced to himself.
3…
2…
1…
"OWCHH!" He yelled again, only a few moments later. "What manner of the devil and trickery is this?" She could hear him yell once more, and a loud crash, as if he dived out of the tub to escape the burning water.
At this point, Kagome was on the floor in a fit of laughter, holding her stomach as it clenched up through the hilarity.
"I will not accept this! I demand apology!" Sesshomaru roared, apparently at the shower head that had scorched his back. And then, she heard what sounded like a battle cry, and another large crash. Kagome's eyes widened. Was he trying to destroy the bathroom now?
She peeked under the door, seeing Sesshomaru's feet no where in sight. And then, there was another large crash, a yell of triumph, and a blinding light that escaped from the bathroom, in hues of yellow and purple.
Kagome stood up, momentarily dazed.
"Sesshomaru? Is everything all right in there?" She called feebly, knocking on the door.
"The blasted thing is playing tricks on me!" She could hear him yell, and another blasting light flashed from under the door.
"Uh, Sesshomaru, it's a shower-head. You can turn it off if you'd like." She replied, scrunching her eyebrows together.
"I will destroy every last bit of it!" He bellowed. Kagome stepped away from the door, knowing that he was serious. As she backed away, she could hear what sounded like swipes on metal and a loud clang as if something dropped into the bottom of the tub. She figured he had chopped the shower head off of the metal stem, and wondered if she should run in there real quick and save the rest of her poor bathroom.
However, before she could decide, the worst happened. The phone rang.
Kagome froze. She remembered suddenly that her mother said to 'expect a call in the next few days from me.' She said that, only a week ago. Kagome stood, trying to listen for the answering machine over the yells, hollers, and snarls that were coming from the bathroom at the time. And then, as the last ring of the phone ended, she could hear the feeble, croaking voice of her mother.
"Kagome, dear, I know you're there, so please answer the phone. It's your dear old mother calling, and I have some important news to tell you. So please, before I die of old age, pick up the phone…"
Kagome yelled, exasperated. She then ran over to the phone, and with hesitant hand, pressed the talk button.
"Hello?" She asked, plugging an ear to hear her mother talking.
"Hello Kagome. Oh, dear. What's that awful racket in the background?" She could hear her mother question. Kagome, because she carried around a lot of good luck, had managed to answer just as Sesshomaru yelled "Die, you evil spawn of darkness!"
"Oh, nothing Mom." Kagome lied. She could almost hear her mother raising her eyebrows.
"It doesn't sound like 'nothing.' Now tell me this instant, or I will come over and see for myself exact-" Her mother began to scold when Sesshomaru let out a huge roar that could probably be heard from miles.
"No, impossible! It's indestructible!" They heard him yell. Kagome felt an urge to yell back "It's stainless steel, moron!" But she didn't. Instead, she began to panic.
"Kagome!" Her mother croaked, much louder than usual.
"Sorry, mom, it's uh, the T.V." Kagome lied again.
"Well, turn it off! It's making me more deaf than I already am!" Her mother replied.
"Uh, I can't. I lost the remote." Kagome was in disbelief at herself. That was probably the lamest excuse she could make.
"Don't be smart with me. You can find the energy in yourself to go over and turn off the T.V." Her mother scolded again.
"I actually can't. You see, it's the kind where you can only turn it off with a remote. There's no buttons on the T.V., or anything." Kagome shook her head. Her mother's brain must be melting if she believes this.
"Hmm. Well maybe you need to get a new T.V. It seems very inconvenient." Her mother said. Kagome remained silent.
"Well, at any rate, go somewhere quieter. I have exciting news for you, and perhaps you would have known sooner if you ever checked your email once in a while." Kagome rolled her eyes. It was probably something like 'I won my first Bridge game at the retirement home. I had a few sips of Gin, too!'
Kagome walked to the office, closing the doors. Though Sesshomaru's yells could be heard faintly, her mother reported that it was a lot better than before.
"So, what's the exciting news I needed to hear so badly?" She asked, sitting at her chair.
"Alright, alright. Your Uncle Satu is getting married!" Her mother squeaked.
"What?!" Kagome could not help but let that out in shock. Her Uncle Satu was… too hairy for marriage. Either he had found a woman equal in hairiness, or was marrying a gorilla.
"I know! Isn't it wonderful? Why don't you check your email now, you can see a picture of them both." Kagome shivered. Whenever she had looked at a picture of her uncle, or seen him at a family party, she had an irresistible desire to shave…
"Hmm, fine. What's her name?" She asked, hesitantly.
"Freda." She replied happily.
"Great." She said in disinterest, opening up her email box. Discarding the fact that she had 2.087 unread emails, she went to the very top, where it said Unread: Wedding in the Spring! She clicked on it, closing her eyes as it loaded.
"Well?" Her mother snapped impatiently. She opened her eyes. There was her uncle, as hairy as ever, and his fiancé. OF COURSE. Freda had a HUGE unibrow, that pretty much took up most of her face.
"Lovely. A wedding I'll be sure to go to." She replied, sarcastically. She would much rather visit the chimps at the zoo, though there wasn't really much of a difference.
"Hey mom, I gotta go, uh find the remote to my T.V. I love you." Kagome lied, knowing that she had to leave and see a certain pup that had an awful lot of explaining to do.
"Alright dear. I love you too." Kagome clicked off the phone, sighing. Another crazy day, and soon, another busted blood vessel in her head after she had a word with Sesshomaru.
Putting the phone its cradle, Kagome rushed to the bathroom, swinging open the bathroom door. She found Sesshomaru, on all fours in the tub, holding the shower head in his mouth, apparently trying to tear it apart with his teeth.
"Give me that. Do you know how much trouble you have caused me with your little tizzy fit?" She said, close to yelling. He looked up at her, an indifference look captivating his face once more.
"No." He replied, standing up, wiping off his soaked garments as if something was there.
"Ugh! You're impossible!" She yelled this time, and stormed out of the bathroom before he could even say anything else or take a plan of action.
The End
Heh. That was enjoyable to write. I hope you enjoyed it as well! Chapter 4 out tomorrow, I have few things I have to take care of today.
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Cheers!