Disclaimer: I don't own Sesshomaru. I wish I could adopt him though.
Summary: [AU After Kagome loses her cat Buyo, she searches for a new pet to replace him. She soon finds and adopts a free dog in the Adopt A Dog services, not realizing the trouble he will cause. Now a full story series!
Adopt A Sesshomaru – Chapter 4
By Imperfectly-Yours
Kagome sat on her couch, watching some hideous bald man drabble on about "Saving Flying Squirrels" on T.V. though his voice was squeaky, his giant cheek mole and furry eyebrows commanded total attention. It seemed as though they were very dark caterpillars head-butting each other. She switched off the T.V., suddenly disgusted. Instead, she sat, just thinking. It had been two days since she first adopted and met Sesshomaru, and though she told him many times he could leave if he wished, he continued to stay. Since then, it had been a thrilling and epic adventure that would forever change their lives. Not. Well…maybe.
It was just yesterday that her mother had called at a very inconvenient time, precisely when Sesshomaru was trying to destroy the shower-head after attempting to take a shower. She had to make up a ridiculous excuse to cover him up. At least, now, there was peace and quiet. No intruders, no interruptions, just peace and ---
The door bell suddenly rang, causing Kagome to jump. She cussed very loudly, now completely sure that someone was definitely out to get her.
And, coincidently, right as her anger reached its peak that a building on a hill in the distance collapsed for no apparent reason.
She peeked through the eyehole, partly expecting (and hoping) that it was someone from Jehovah's Witness. Instead, she saw the smiley face of a good friend she had met at high school a few years back. She sighed. If she ignored her friend and left her there on the doorstep, it would haunt her for all eternity.
Grimacing, she opened the door so that only her face showed.
"Kagome! Hey!" Her friend greeted, smiling broadly.
"Hey! What a pleasant surprise!" Kagome replied, faking a smile in return.
"Yeah, I decided to swing by since I was in the neighborhood. May I come in?" She asked sincerely and innocently.
Kagome giggled softly, wondering if she was over doing it.
"Of course! Give me just one moment." Kagome replied, and softly, but quickly shut the door. She turned around, her mind racing. She had to find Sesshomaru, and fast.
"Yeah, she was in the neighborhood, my ASS." Kagome muttered as she looked throughout her apartment, trying to find Sesshomaru. Finally, stopping in her room, she found him sniffing a perfume bottle curiously. Almost diving at him, she yanked him by his fluffy boa, and dragged him to the bathroom down the hall. Opening the door, she shoved him in, ignoring the angry glance she received.
"Listen, my friend just showed up. I'm locking you in here. Don't make a noise, talking, climb out of the window, use the toilet, and for the love of all things fluffy, please don't use the shower head!" She panted loudly. Before he could protest, she reached in, switched the lock on, and closed the door with a snap. At the moment, she didn't realize that at any time he could unlock the door and step outside. Perhaps it was better if she didn't know that.
Rushing back to the door, she placed her hand on the door knob, taking a deep breath, hopeful that her friend didn't have the urge to go the bathroom at any time during their quick visit.
Kagome opened the door widely, and her friend stepped in, not paying attention to the drops of sweat that was falling off of Kagome's face because of nerves.
"Have a seat," Kagome offered, pointing at a fan on the floor.
"Uh, thanks." Her friend replied, instead sitting on the couch. Kagome sat on the other end and turned on the TV with the remote. Immediately she began laughing hysterically, for no apparent reason.
"Did you see how dog'gone funny that was? These kinds of shows can make me bark all night long with laughter!" She said, clutching her stomach. She apparently thought it was a comedy of sorts on the T.V.
"Uh, Kagome. Maybe you don't know but were watching the NEWS, and they are reporting that since 2000, deaths from cancer have tripled." Her friend informed her, looking at her strangely.
Instantly, Kagome stopped laughing.
"You know, I wasn't really listening." She said quietly, flustered.
"Huh. Maybe this was a bad time to come," (at this point Kagome had the urge to yell "NO SHIT!") "I mean, you look kind of pale, and sweaty. Do you feel ill?" She asked, obviously faking concern.
"Oh yes, terrible. Which is good reason for you to leave, right now." Kagome said, feeling her forehead to add an effect. But her friend didn't budge. "Let me get some refreshments. It feels like its burning up a hay barn in here." Kagome made up yet another lame excuse, rolling her eyes as she walked away.
"Sounds great. Just stay away from the knife rack, okay?" Kagome's friend called after her as she hurried to the kitchen.
Just as she was pouring two glasses of water, she heard a voice from the hallway.
"Hey, Kagome? Can I use your bathroom real quick?" Her friend asked suddenly, her hand placed on the door knob. Kagome's eyes widened, putting large dinner plates to shame. She ran over, pulling her friend from the door as if it was about to eat them both.
"Uh no! No no no no no!" She said quickly, almost scolding her friend. She looked at Kagome strangely, raising an eyebrow.
"And, why not?" She asked, looking at the door curiously.
"Well you see. Um, its quite terrible actually. Well, you see, there's a terrible plumbing problem in there. The toilet is spewing up all sorts of things, you know, and the smell is terrible. I can't filter it out or anything." She nodded vigorously, making up the story off the top of her head.
Her friend looked at her suspiciously, sniffing the air. At this point, there was the sound of walking from inside the bathroom.
"Whose th-" A voice said, slightly muffled. Kagome banged her fist against the bathroom door, silencing the voice.
"Is someone in there?" Her friend took a step towards the door, but Kagome stopped her.
"Uh, no. Well yes, my new dog is in there." She said, taking her fist and patting the door gently, as if apologizing to the wood for smackdown it received.
"You mean to say, your dog can talk?"
"Don't be ridiculous." Kagome tried to make a noise that sounded like a guffaw, but it came out as a snort instead. Her friend raised both eyebrows.
"And why is your 'dog' in there? The fumes must be terrible. And you know dog's noses are much more sensitive than ours, so it's probably very irritated right now." She questioned, leaving Kagome cornered.
"Well uh, you see he's new. And well, its sort of punishment. You see, yesterday. He did something very bad. He left a nasty poo poo on the rug for me to clean up." Kagome confided, trying to sound convincing.
"What?! Let me-" A voice said suddenly, much louder than before.
"Help you! Let me help you!" Kagome finished the sentence, banging on the door again. She looked at her friend, grinning like an idiot.
"What are you talking about? What's going on, Kagome?" She questioned, looking around.
"Its quite funny actually. Yesterday, I was walking – no running – no driving a car to my therapy session. And uh, the therapist said that to me. And then she said 'Kagome, I advise you get a dog. It seems like the loss of your cat has made you Sesshou- I mean stranded, with grief. A new companion will help you deal with it.' So I adopted one, at which point it left a nasty poo poo on my rug, and so I punished it, which brings us to where we are now." She explained, imitating a voice that was supposed to be that of her therapists, but came out as that of a mix between Darth Vader and Michael Jackson.
"Right. Well, I really don't have to go to the bathroom any more. Maybe we could go to the kitchen and get a bite to eat?" Her friend asked, rolling her eyes slightly. She obviously didn't find Kagome's story very convincing, but didn't want to persist.
"Sure! Perfect! I have a fresh batch of dog biscuits waiting. Er- I mean cookies. Yeah. Lets go. Like now." She stuttered, pushing her friend harshly from behind away from the door.
As they sat down at the kitchen and her friend began to nibble on a cookie, Kagome wiped her forehead in relief. That was too close for comfort, not to mention the certain dog in there that had made the situation even more difficult.
The rest of the day, well the next thirty minutes, seemed to go by as slowly as her Grandma crossing a street. The minute hand on the clock seemed to taunt her, going so slow it looked like it had stopped. Kagome was stressed enough to the point she wanted to climb up the wall Spider-man style and take it from the wall, take the minute hand out of the glass, and break it in half. But she didn't. Almost.
After a long talk about something Kagome wasn't even listening to, her friend left (more or less, Kagome shoved her out the door) and Kagome was left in the now silence and calmness of her small, cramped, wish-she-could-replace-it apartment. Well, it was quiet, until Sesshomaru started banging on the door, asking if he could come out.
"Yes, Sesshomaru, she's gone." Kagome yelled loudly through the house, not wanting to get up and tell him in person. Soon she heard the clicking of the door and his feet against the carpet.
Soon he was right in front of her, his eyes squinting in anger.
"I made a nasty poo poo on the rug?" Raising both eyebrows, he looked at Kagome, who shrunk back into the couch.
"Well! You made it difficult by talking, so I had to come up with something quick." She said argued.
"You could have made any other excuse in the world, instead of that!" He exclaimed in defense, obviously irritated at what she had said.
"Don't be so irked! It's not my fault she came so unexpectedly!" Kagome cried out, sitting up.
"But you let her in! Therefore it is your fault!" He argued.
"I'm not going to argue Sesshomaru. I'm not your mom." She said, glaring at him.
"Yeah, and you're not my dog-walker or dog-sitter either. So stop acting like I am a dog, which I'm not. You never know, some day I may decide to act like one, just to see if you like it." He glared back.
Kagome rolled her eyes. "Be my guest. Then I could at least have a pet, which I did order for in the first place."
Sesshomaru scoffed and walked out of the room, evil and malicious plans forming in his head.
Little did Kagome know that that day would be tomorrow.
MUAHAHAHAHA.
The End.
Well, it didn't come out as funny as I thought it would. I hope it would be at least entertaining. I was trying to rush and finish it, because if I didn't then I wouldn't be able to update it till Saturday or Sunday.
Please review! And thanks for the feedback so far!