Disclaimer: I don't own Sesshomaru. I wish I could adopt him though.
Summary: [AU] After Kagome loses her cat Buyo, she searches for a new pet to replace him. She soon finds and adopts a free dog in the Adopt A Dog services, not realizing the trouble he will cause. Now a full story series!
AND SO THE LEGENDARY TALE CONTINUES!
Oh, and enjoy. Reviews are cookies for the author. Everyone likes cookies.
Adopt A Sesshomaru – Chapter 8
By Imperfectly-Yours
Kagome whipped her head around to face who she highly suspected was behind her. And so he was.
With a sneer on his face that she wanted to rip right off he stood there, quite relaxed as if the air around him was full of butterflies and fairy kingdoms. However, Kagome realized that would not make him relaxed but quite irritable, and so she figured air full of poison noxious gas fumes and anthrax and evil creatures of darkness would be a more suitable environment for him. But this is beside the point.
She turned and faced him, her right eye twitching as the temples on her forehead began to swell to the size of balloons. She continued to glare at him with such intensity it seemed lasers would erupt from her eyes and melt his face off. Her eye continued to twitch until she realized she had only had a piece of dirt in it and removed it promptly and continued glaring.
He let out a chuckle. "So, petty human, I see you've discovered your faults."
"So, petty human, I see you've discovered your whatever." Kagome mocked him, attempting to imitate his voice but instead sounded like Spongebob Squarepants having a seizure.
"I understand your anger. But perhaps you can look it at this way: we played a game, and you lost." Sesshomaru's voice was cool and collective and was like knives to her ears.
She scoffed, almost laughing at him. "That's what you choose to believe. But I'll tell you Sesshomaru, this game is far from over. And I may have lost this round, but next round, oh, you're SO going down." She made an exaggerated bear-like noise and flexed her non-existent arm muscles high in the air.
A woman carrying her young child that was passing by on the sidewalk gave a weird glance and crossed the street immediately, the child now crying hysterically. This was ignored.
"Besides," she added, "You still have to return to my house and live under my rule and you can't do anything about it." It was her turn to sneer at him but she only made herself look inhuman. This often happened in Kagome's moments of frustration.
"I was unaware of such guidelines." Sesshomaru seemed unimpressed.
"I'm sure you were. The people that are unimportant are often misinformed." Kagome smiled teasingly.
"And those who are more important are often graced with stupidity. Where might I find such information?" At this, Kagome's smile dropped off her face and scurried down the sidewalk. She could never say an insult without receiving an equal or more insulting response. However, she did not let this affect her.
"I have it in official documents at home." She stated matter-of-factly.
"You mean this document?" Suddenly Sesshomaru took out a piece of paper, almost like he grabbed it from thin air. It was in fact the registration paper saying Kagome was the rightful owner of her "dog," Sesshomaru.
"Ooh, you're good." Kagome looked slightly taken back but then covered it up quickly. Inside her mind she cursed and yelled and yet still had an irresistible desire to know where he got his filthy hands on that.
"You know, I am done arguing about this. You are a jerk, and that is just a fact of life. I am going to go home now and try to recuperate from all this nonsense and continue on with my life." She said after a few moments of silence. She stared down at the hill and then slowly began walking.
He then followed but she did not object.
"Have trust in me that this human pettiness is too much for me to handle as well. I will be glad once it is ridden from my life." He stated as he strode along side of her, not realizing the extent of his words.
"Ugh, what is it with you and humans?" She snapped back at him with the velocity of a rubber band. "Do you have some sort of superiority complex? I'm sure there are plenty more of 'your kind' hiding somewhere in some dark corner but until they surface you're the only thing petty around here. Unfortunately you happen to live in a place where there are very more humans and very less of you."
"That it is what you choose to believe." He said lowly, as if he had not meant to say it aloud.
She pretended that she didn't hear that, now suddenly feeling very paranoid as they continued to walk down the gravel road to her car.
Luckily, they reached her small pathetic car within a matter of minutes. The remainder of the walk was almost unbearably awkward, like walking with a guy trying too hard to impress or walking with someone in a full-scale Barney costume or walking with someone missing an arm – wait, scratch that last one.
All in all, Kagome was glad to be sitting in her cheap and uncomfortable car chair which was too far from her break and gas pads but couldn't be adjusted because she snapped off the lever many years ago.
Actually, scratch that last one as well.
She started up the car, and off they went through the lovely countryside of Japan, site-seeing all the great smog on the horizon and trash littered on the streets and cars old beyond recognition but still sitting on the side of the road with a "For Sale" sign hitched to the back.
The whole way home Sesshomaru wore a mask, this time of a panda bear.
And Kagome didn't even bother to swipe it off.
Things were amiss, very amiss.
"Oh my gosh! Look at those sales!" Kagome squealed loudly as she looked over a catalog spread across her dining room table.
"One percent off on jeans when you buy two pairs, buy seven get one free on electronics, and two percent off on all underwear when you buy a pair of pink socks! I can't believe how great these sales are!"
Simply put, the sales in Japan weren't all that great. Nonetheless, Kagome was thrilled.
"It is so time for shopping. I need some new clothes anyways." Kagome said to herself, just as Sesshomaru strode into the room. She looked up, and her smile fell.
"Oh, it's you." she said she began folding up the paper and stuffing it into her already stuffed to the brim purse.
He gave her such a threatening look that it sent shivers down her spine, which she tried to pass as a weird back stretching maneuver. She would not let him see any signs of weakness, oh no.
Kagome picked up her purse and began walking from the room. She planned to take her purse and go to the bathroom and leave right after, but as soon as she walked by Sesshomaru a thought struck her.
What was she going to do with Sesshomaru as she went out?
Leaving him at home and unattended was like rolling a wrecking ball through a town made of graham crackers. Yet taking him with her was also an equivalent disaster. Taking him through a mega-store that was filled with toys, children, and not to mention happy things galore, would be a terrible event indeed. Perhaps she could keep him in the car, but Kagome knew that was no good either. She stood there pondering for many moments, her eyes transfixed to the ceiling, receiving weird glances from Sesshomaru who was standing right next to her.
She then came to a conclusion.
He would have to come with her if her life, her home, and her stress levels had any value to her.
"Well, Sesshomaru, looks like you'll be going to the store with me for a bit of shopping." Kagome announced to him, after making sure she was a good few feet from his claws.
"What is this shopping that you speak of?" Replied the deep voice of Sesshomaru.
"It means to go out and buy things you like, even if you don't have enough money to go in the first place." Kagome answered, gathering up the remote to the TV and placing it on the coffee table, though she was sure it would end up on the floor in a matter of minutes anyways.
"Another habit of humans, I see. I shall stay at home and tend to the rodents in back as you are away. I will not engage in such foolish business." Sesshomaru had seemed pretty clear that he did not want to go, but Kagome would not give up on such matters as shopping.
"You don't have a choice." She replied so curtly and seriously even Sesshomaru seemed taken back. She grabbed a coat from the couch and proceeded to the door.
Sesshomaru continued to stand where he was. She grunted.
"Look." Kagome said softly. Sesshomaru looked at her in a threatening manner, disapproving her soft tones with him.
"I WILL NOT MISS THESE SALES!" her voice suddenly exploded throughout the room.
Anyone who was there to witness could agree that at that moment, Sesshomaru's hate for humans grew two sizes that day. As well as Kagome's blood pressure.
Two minutes later, they were off.
After a few minutes of driving, they pulled into the parking lot of the megastore. It appeared that every single parking spot was filled. Sesshomaru grunted, obviously irked by this.
Kagome drove very slowly into the first row. Many other cars were circling around but no one appeared to be leaving. A few rows to her a left the red lights of a car backing up were shining and instantly ten cars were circled around, barely giving the poor person enough room to leave. Kagome sighed, hoping there was anything left by the time she got into the store.
She continued to drive around in pointless circles, until Sesshomaru spoke.
"What of that space over there?" he pointed to an empty place at the end of the row they were at. However, another car right next to them had also seen the spot.
Warning: Kids, Do not try this at home.
Kagome, realizing the situation, jolted to action. She punched the gas and wheels squealed as she pulled forward. She continued to press down on the gas pedal, almost reaching full speed, as she was neck and neck with the minivan beside her. Suddenly, a rogue shopping cart rolled in front of the two cars' paths, and miraculously, Kagome swerved to the right just in time, with the other minivan breaking and narrowly missing it as well.
Despite this, Sesshomaru was still indifferent.
Kagome slammed on the break and she turned her wheel as far to the right as she could. After a long turn, she released all pressure from the pads and skidded into the empty parking spot, bumping the curb with a big shake.
With a shaky hand, she turned off the engine, smoke rising all around them. Sesshomaru sighed loudly and unclipped his seat belt, getting out the car. Kagome looked in the rear view mirror as the same blue minivan passed by her car, noticing a large "baby on board" sign plastered to the side window.
"Wow," she breathed, "I really need to get myself one of those." And then she grabbed her purse and exited the car.
The store was packed beyond belief. People of all sizes, heights, and shapes filled almost every aisle. Yes, even triangle people. (Which gave Kagome some peace of mind, for at least Sesshomaru wouldn't be such a sight.)
Kagome took note that the toy section looked like it had been bombed several times, after all it was mid-fall and near holiday season. She also noted that the electronic section had fallen victim to a large crowd and now to rampant scavengers who were picking at the empty shelves, hoping to collect the last bit of spark plugs and battery packs.
"What place is this?" Sesshomaru suddenly asked, remarking at all the loud sounds, amount of people, and smells even Kagome could detect.
However, Kagome was too busy trying to make her way through the people that she did not answer him. She looked back, expecting Sesshomaru to be swallowed by the crowd, but he was surprising right behind her.
"Let's go." She yelled over the roar of the people who weren't really talking about anything at all.
She took a few steps and looked back. To her horror, Sesshomaru was nowhere in sight. This would give anyone reason to panic. She backtracked, looking high and low, well mostly high, and for white hair. She saw no one that resembled Sesshomaru. She raced around in every direction, and was almost near the exit. She imagined he was off in some dark corner of the store doing god knows what.
And then, she saw it: sparkling white hair.
She ran over, pushing many people out of the way. What she saw was not good.
Sesshomaru was being antagonized by an employee that looked to be about fifteen. Even through the loud noises of the crowd she could hear his obnoxious voice loud and clear.
"As you can see here sir, on this Safety Regulations and Store Procedures sign, that we do not allow anyone in who does not wear shoes. And as anyone can very well see, you are not wearing any shoes at all."
Kagome cringed as she stepped forward to the scene.
"You pestilence. The matter of my feet and its wear is of my concern. Your interference is unnecessary. Do you vile creatures know no other action than to pester and annoy?" Sesshomaru bared his teeth, almost growling. His hand twitched. The boy, however, was diligent and did not show any signs of fear.
"I do not appreciate being called a pestilence, sir. I am just doing my job. I suggest you step outside before I call security. You are breaking the safety regulations. It is for your own good." He replied, adjusting his belt.
Kagome grumbled as she pushed Sesshomaru out of the way.
"I am sorry," she looked down at his name tag, "Jimboy, for any problems my friend might have caused." Kagome smiled sweetly, but the boy seemed unaffected.
"Your friend cannot come into these premises without the proper attire, as shown here." He gestured to the regulations poster, which had a nifty drawing of sneakers.
"I understand. But the thing is, I was hoping it would be understandable this one time. My friend lost his only pair of shoes today and we need to buy new ones so we decided to come here." Kagome explained, the boy raised his eyebrows.
"Well, I suppose that can be accepted, but only just this once." He said in a stern voice.
"Of course. Thank you." Kagome nodded her head in goodbye and yanked Sesshomaru along.
Little did she know that the employee had just contacted the manager about a stolen scarf. He was a teenager with a vengeance and a little too much power.
The duo first passed what remained of the toy section. Children ran around crazy, bright bouncing balls flying everywhere. One even hit Sesshomaru in the head, and as it fell he caught it between two fingers and popped it. The plastic whizzed as it fell to the ground, and a little boy came up, picked up his popped toy, stomped on Sesshomaru's bare feet, and ran away at an unnatural speed. Kagome wondered how many pounds of sugar that kid was on.
"Well, you deserved that one." Kagome commented with a smirk, but could feel the angry glare on the back of her shoulders.
They passed the next aisle, where two women, apparently mothers, tackled each other over the last army toy truck.
"It's MINE!" said one.
"I grabbed it first, you ---" said the other, pulling out a fistful of hair.
"Such vicious creatures." Sesshomaru remarked, and Kagome suddenly felt like she was part of a nature documentary on the African Safari.
"Welcome to the Holiday Season. Just wait till we have to go to the grocery store for Thanksgiving." Kagome said scowling.
They then passed the pet section, which had many cute bunnies and dogs for sale. While Kagome paused and went "Awww," Sesshomaru's face twisted with disgust and went "I wouldn't place such things in my stomach if I was on the brink of death." Kagome rolled her eyes and continued to drag him along.
They passed by the children's section of clothing, where one small girl had the courage to run up to Sesshomaru and say "Puppy!" He tried his best to ignore the little creature, but he did crack his knuckles menacingly as she tugged on his pants. Before Kagome could stop her, she ran along behind him and pulled on his great fluffy boa, thinking it was a tail.
Kagome covered her eyes, not wanting to see the blood. After several seconds she peeked, seeing Sesshomaru give the girl "the eye." The child took one glance and ran away hollering "I don't wanna keep him anymo!"
"That was quite the look." Kagome commented as they continued down the aisles in search of Women's clothing.
"Filthy creatures. Always the need to touch." Sesshomaru said coldly as they continued walking.
Kagome had finally found an employee and asked where she might find the Women's section. After a brief insult to her about how she didn't look like she should shop in women's yet, Kagome discovered the section was conveniently located at the very end of the store.
On the way there, they passed many other sections.
The optometrist at the eyewear shop had saw Sesshomaru from the back. Therefore, she only saw his gleaming white hair and strange outfit. He looked like a perfectly suitable old person. She called out to him.
"Excuse me, sir?" He turned around, facing the woman.
"Would you like to buy glasses?" she asked, holding a pair of new glasses in her hand.
He took them. "Is this trickery?" His eyes flashed dangerously.
"Ah, just as I suspected! You are in need of glasses. You cannot even tell what's happening in your surroundings. That is the product of old age." She laughed.
Suddenly, there was there a loud sound of crunching. The women looked on in shock as the glasses had given him were crushed into a fine powder with a single hand.
"Hey, you're going to have to pay for that!" she cried. In response, Sesshomaru poured the powder from the glasses into her open palm.
"Alright then." Kagome grabbed Sesshomaru by his "shirt" and pulled him along. "Why must you always get in trouble?"
He made no response.
After being offered a diamond ring for their so called "engagement," food for their so called "empty stomachs," and deodorant for their so called "sweat dripping off their faces," they finally reached the Women's Section.
Which, just like everything else, was completely desecrated.
A few pants hung on almost empty racks. She walked over and looked at their size, and saw they were either way too big or way too small. A few shirts remained, but for good reason. Not even a blind person would have the taste to pick those out and take them home. She grunted in displeasure.
They continued to walk through the destroyed department.
And then they reached the lingerie section.
Kagome forgot to bring something to cover Sesshomaru's eyes.
Instantly, he was upon the frilly and practically see-through undergarments. He picked up a pink bra, holding it near his eyes, like some sort of goggles.
"Hn. Interesting." He said as Kagome flushed a bright red and tore the bra from his hands. However he was far quicker than she. He strode over to a black lingerie outfit hanging up on a hanger. Poking at it with a sharp claw, he discovered it wasn't as dangerous as it looked. He then grabbed the bottom of it and pulled, noting the stretchy material. Sesshomaru took advantage of this. He took the fabric and pulled it all the way to the floor, a good few feet.
And then simply, he released.
With a sharp twang, the black lingerie soared off the hanger and high into the air. It hit the high ceiling, and then fell slowly like some sort of parachute, landing far off into the children's section. As it disappeared into the clothing racks, a scream could be heard, and a large thump.
Kagome stomped her foot in response. "Sesshomaru! Stop being a little kid!" But he simply ignored her.
"What does this contraption do? Perhaps a weapon launcher of some kind?" Sesshomaru asked as he held up a very skimpy piece of underwear and stretched it with two fingers, aiming it at a woman nearby.
"Sesshomaru! Put that down!" Kagome whispered harshly, reaching for his arm and instead jostling him, causing him to release the panty. They watched it soar, past the woman a few feet away. It landed on the carpet beyond, exactly below the wheel of a shopping cart being wildly pushed by a teenager. The wheel got stuck on the underwear, the cart then doing a complete flip, and burst into flames.
Kagome stared on with wide eyes. "Well, guess it's time to go home now!" She pushed Sesshomaru out of the clothes and on to one of the many shiny pathways.
After many minutes of walking, they came upon a few people standing right in the middle the path, almost blocking it. Kagome tried to walk in front, but they stopped her.
"Hey, hey! No cutting! Wait in line like the rest of us!" They yelled in unison. Kagome was taken aback.
"This is the line for the registers?" Kagome asked in disbelief. They had to be in the middle of the store!
"No," they said with an air of arrogance, "this is the line to get into the lines for the register."
Kagome instantly dropped the two pairs of underwear she was hoping to buy. "You know, I think we'll just go home, Sesshomaru."
And so they trudged on, getting many shoves and dirty looks from people as they pushed on. Kagome made a note to take a shower when she got home.
Finally, they reached the entrance of the store. Continuing to push aside abandoned carts and people who were obnoxiously standing still in the way, they took one step past the automatic doors when an alarm sounded.
"There he is! The man who is stealing the scarf!" Came the same loud and obnoxious voice of the teenage employee. Kagome looked back to see him pointing right at them, with an army of security guards and other red-dressed workers behind him.
At first, she wondered what the heck they were talking about. What scarf? Kagome looked at Sesshomaru, then realizing the great fluffy boa that was wrapped around his shoulder. Color dripped off her face onto a puddle on the floor.
There was a general outcry of yelling, screaming, and stampeding feet.
"Run! Run!" Kagome yelled, as employees and security guards began to chase after them.
Using a speed Kagome didn't know she had, she sprinted out of the store and to her car with Sesshomaru right on her tail. She tried to open the door without unlocking it first, and then pounded on the window as if she would be let in that way.
The army of workers was almost to their car.
Kagome's fried brain managed to see the glimmer of her car keys held in her hand. She clicked the unlock button, opened the door, and dove into the car in an unnecessary way. Sesshomaru, on the other hand, calmly sat down into his seat, closed the door, and put on his seatbelt all before Kagome had even sat up.
When she did, she turned on the car, she yanked the stick in reverse, and pulled out, almost bashing into the same lone shopping cart they had narrowly missed earlier. Soon, after a series of complicated turns, they had managed to exit the parking lot all in one piece. Sort of. Kagome had yet to realize that she had broken off her side-view mirror passing a concrete wall. That was for the best.
All was quiet in the car until they were almost back to her house.
"I will never forgive you for this, human." Came the quiet and dangerous voice of Sesshomaru.
Kagome looked back at him in outrage. "I will never forgive you! I didn't even get to buy anything!"
The End
Please review!
Somehow I got a stroke of genius and made this story within two days. Very unexpected, I'll tell you. I have to say I really like this chapter, and I have the next chapter figured out. Hint: Sesshomaru discovers Kagome's secret habits. You can only imagine, right? Hah.
And please remember, I am always taking suggestions for new chapters. I might just turn this story into a suggestion center, and chapters are built off of ideas I get from readers. I think that would be pretty fun. Not to mention easy for me!
I'll start writing the next chapter pretty soon, most likely this weekend. So sit tight, more adventures that make the duo look like idiots will be up soon!
Cheers