A/N: I'm soooo sorry for not updating until now! I have this chapter ready for about... 25 days? But I was waiting for it to get beta-ed, but I never got a response... so there may be quite a few mistakes.

I promise that the next chapter will be out in two weeks.

Thanks to: HellzLittleAngel, Sexy-Tacos-Emo-Waffles, CocoaButter and Wishful Galaxy for reviewing! Four reviews, that's my record so far, thank you guys!

Disclaimer: I do not own kingdom hearts. The lyrics are from Promise me Everything by Katra

Chapter VI

Falling, wishing
For every fallen tear there is a broken dream
-Katra

"Screw me if I'm wrong, but don't you just want to kiss me?" A whisper in my ear.

All right. So I got two answers now? Screw you or kiss you? I'll give you my answer.

Two seconds later, another red mark stained his cheek. This time, he made a small 'ah' sound, and he flexed his jaw, but his hands only tightened around my waist.

There was another "Roxas!" coming from Sora at the other side of the circle, and I knew I didn't really have a choice. I had learned long ago that you didn't defy Sora on his picnics. It was sure to backfire, and in this situation Sora wouldn't even need to think long to get an idea to ruin my life. A few words with Axel and it was over. I would never live it down if he knew I was really attracted to him.

So I took a deep breath, closed my eyes tight and leaned forward to press my lips lightly against his.

I had planned for the kiss to end as quickly as possible. Axel must have known that. One of his hands was holding my chin in an instant, his long fingers keeping my head in place. Before I could react and push him away, he adjusted his other arm, pulling me up his lap until I was pressed against him. My eyes shot open in shock and I tried to pull away, but he was stronger than I had expected. My arms were trapped between our bodies and my mouth was caught by his lips. There was no escape.

I had fantasized about this so many times. Almost two years ago, when I had first met him. Those times when I only knew his name and those green eyes. When my mind had been full of teenage romance stories. I had imagined he would kiss me. Late at night, when I felt lonely, I had imagined he would hold me. Reality had caught up soon though. Things like that didn't happen in real life. I couldn't have a boyfriend, especially if that boyfriend could so easily break my heart.

It hadn't stopped me from dreaming. I'd dreamed of kissing Axel countless times. It was never like this though. This wasn't what I wanted.

I was pulled back to reality by a tongue dragging over my bottom lip, silently asking for entrance.

I kept my lips pressed together. This was so unfair. I had longed for this to happen so long ago. When Axel had still been someone I'd seen once or twice. When he was still that perfect dream boy. But the truth was cruel like that. The tongue that was now so lovingly urging me to react, would be on different lips the moment he tired of this stupid game. It had been on a different mouth not an hour ago.

It made me want to cry.

It made me want to run away the instant he let go.

But I couldn't, because it would show him how much I actually cared. He would never leave me alone if he knew. He would kiss me again, go out with me and then break my heart, like he had done with so many girls before.

Axel must have sensed there was something wrong, because he pulled away a bit, loosening his grip on me slightly. Enough for me to pull away and give him a blank look before returning to the middle of the circle. I had to continue the game. Time might have looked like it had stopped for me, but it hadn't for anybody else.

So I looked around the circle for the princess again. I could see 'smart girl' looking as if her drama had just taken an unexpected but interesting turn. I shot her one of my dirtiest glares. She seemed to be thinking about how she should take the turn of events. Or whether or not to shut up the girl beside her, who was whining and looking at me as if I was dirt. I wasn't entirely sure.

I could see other people staring at me too. Sora with a big grin on his lips, others with big eyes. Some looked jealous, some people were whispering and a few were looking at me with utter disgust. And that hurt.

I should look for the princess. I turned to face Axel again, though he was the last person I wanted to see right now. But the princess must've been there somewhere.

And that's when I heard it. A boy talking to a girl, not far away from Axel. He wasn't whispering like the others, and even though he wasn't speaking too loud either, he knew I could hear him. And he knew well the effects his words would have on me.

"See, I told you he's a fag. He even forced Axel to kiss him. It's a good thing Thomas made it clear he didn't like such behavior when he found out the boy was a queer. Who knows what would have happened if he hadn't?"

And that did it. I was used to be called names, I was used to the soft whispers behind my back, but I couldn't take it anymore. Not after all that had just happened. Not when someone mentioned Thomas, someone I had once called my friend.

At that moment, I didn't care about what people would think anymore. It was just too much, so I stomped off, took my bike and went home.

I think I heard Sora call my name. I think I heard someone laugh.

My mobile started ringing again. I didn't need to look at the caller ID to know it was Sora. I sighed and took my gloves out of my bag. The ringing was annoying, but I couldn't turn of my phone – my mom wanted to be able to contact me at all times – and hitting ignore wasn't an option either; Sora would just call again. He'd been trying to get in touch with me for ten minutes already.

After going home, I'd packed my bag immediately and I'd gone to the rink, hoping to relax a bit, but from the moment said rink came in sight, the ringing had begun and it hadn't stopped nagging me since. There was no way I could relax like this. I took the phone as it stopped for a few seconds before starting to ring again. Better get over with it.

"Look So-"

"Roxas, I'm so sorry! I really didn't know Matthias knew Thomas!" I could feel an incredibly long rant coming, so I decided to intervene.

"That's not what I'm mad about. That wasn't your fault."

There was a small pause.

"It's Axel, isn't it?"

"How could you? You know how I feel about this, Sora. We've talked this over already and concluded you were too optimistic."

"I thought we concluded you were too pessimistic?"

"Sora, you don't know him. You don't have a friend whose heart got broken by him and believe me, you don't want to get one."

"How do you know this isn't different?"

"Because this is reality Sora!"

Here was a small pause again and Sora's voice was calculating, which caught me off guard.

"That friend of yours, she's a girl right."

"Yes…" I couldn't think of why this was important.

"And he's never gone out with any boys."

"No…" Even though it hadn't been a question and Sora had sounded one undred percent sure, I still answered.

"See! It's different this time."

"Look Sora, I highly doubt tha—Hey, how do you know he's only had girlfriends?" This wasn't information Sora should know.

"Bye Roxas!"

Beep. Beep. Beep.

When I called again, his phone was turned off. Stupid boy who doesn't have an overprotecting mother.

Bonk.

… Auw.

That was the third time I'd fallen in five minutes. It was pathetic I couldn't even do a simple camel spin anymore. It was all Sora's fault. Why did he have to say that? And how the hell did he know so sure Axel had only dated girls? I knew, because I'd put effort in finding it out. For about half a year I'd overheard all conversations about Axel I could and there was not a single one that had hinted at Axel being bisexual or having ever dated men. I'd asked Olette about it and even she didn't know for sure, so she'd asked Demyx for me.

But even though Sora had many connections, I was quite sure he didn't know anyone as close to Axel and I knew for a fact he couldn't have asked Axel directly. He hated asking people things like that. Instead, he liked to get information through other people and gossip. He was a sneaky bastard like that.

I stood up and did a sit spin this time, only to fall on my ass again. Well, the bright side was that falling from a sitting position didn't hurt.

Really I'm pathetic. Sora's words shouldn't mean as much to me. How come a small conversation like this could turn the walls I build to protect me into frail glass? This just couldn't be different. Otherwise he wouldn't kiss people in front of me. But he did look at me while doing so. Maybe he imagined – no. That couldn't be. He just wanted to make me jealous.

But didn't he hate jealous people?

"Roxas!"

I had to blink twice and shake my head before I remembered where I was. By that time the girl who had called out to me was already standing in front of me. Sophia.

"What're you doin' there? You fell? You'll freeze your ass of if you don't get up, man." She smiled and stretched out her hand to help me get up.

Half a minute later, we were sitting on a bench at the side of the rink, both with a coke in our hands.

I had known Sophia my whole life. If I had to describe her with one word, it would be contradiction. She walked like a ballerina and spoke like a boy. She never got good grades, but nobody would even think of calling her dumb. She would walk against a door or a lamppost every week, but when something had happened, she would have seen it. She was good at reading people, but to the dismay of many teachers, she hated books.

It wasn't long before she asked me what was wrong and I told her. I left out quite a few details. The story of my life since September was long enough as it was already. Even though we saw each other at least twice a week, we never talked about our personal lives that often.

"Why the fuck did you run away from that party? Way to show that bastard you totally care!" she cried after I finished my story. Did I tell you she liked swearing? She was a cussing ballerina. She always called Axel 'bastard'. It was a special nickname she reserved for players.

I sighed, not wanting to recall the events.

"After we kissed," the words felt strange, "Some guy made a stupid remark about Thomas." Maybe I'd left out a little too many details.

Sophia was silent for a while.

"You really should stop caring about what happened with that asshole. It's almost been two fuckin' years."

I bit my lip. She immediately sensed I didn't want to talk about it.

"Back on topic. Even though I want to beat some sense into you for really starting to like that bastard, I think I kinda know what's happenin'. I think, from what I've heard, that that bastard has a fear of commitment."

I stared at her. Just stared.

"Sophia, he's a player, how can he be afraid of commitment?"

She rolled her eyes.

"Roxas, do you actually know what a fear of commitment is? It's bein' afraid of a real, long-lastin' relationship. And now, has he had any of those relations?"

I silently shook my head.

"See, that's why he made you jealous, but couldn't stand jealous girls. He probably didn't want these girls to fall in love with him, because he could see the relationships could never become serious and he didn't want to hurt them. So when they get really jealous, like, the kinda love-like jealous, he dumps them, 'cause he doesn't want to get their hopes up. Seems like he failed though, from what that Olette girl told you."

I totally did not understand that reasoning. Wasn't jealousy just jealousy? I nodded anyway. I could never follow her line of thought. Nothing new.

"Roxas? I have another question."

I turned my attention back to her.

"Don't you normally use Saturday midday for studying? Don't your exams start in like, two weeks?"

Oh, fuck. I totally forgot about that monster.

A/N: =3 a first kiss! And Sophia's a little, cute girl with a big, flaming temper. Don't trust her Roxas!

Fanfiction is being a bitch, always deleting my lines.

Reviews please?

Random fact of the day:
There are more chickens than people in the world.

That's... quite frightening.