Disclaimer: I do not own Kuroshitsuji or any of the characters. Kuroshitsuji is the intellectual property of Toboso Yana.
This chapter is not beta yet. I am too eager to read reviews XD
Although there could be none DX
– D e m o n ' s _ H e a r t –
Yes it does, very much, while it really shouldn't be.
"Really now..." The demon butler mumbled to himself as he opened the double door to find his master fallen asleep in an armchair, the book he was reading lay forgotten on the floor, pages twisted and folding in the wrong direction. One of Ciel's arms was placed on his stomach, the other dangling in midair, too short to reach the floor, his head tilted to one side, silky hair spread out and ruffled; if he slept like this throughout the night, the boy would be sure to wake up with a sore spot in his shoulder if not a cold.
"What are you to do without me, young master?" Sebastian thought out loud, eyebrows furrowed in a worrisome manner. Ever since he became a Phantomhive butler, he had learned how to display proper emotion for particular situations. Although it was unnecessary when no one is around, but the demon found himself succumbing to this habit even when no one was there to watch his act.
'However, does it matter? I will always be with you, till the end... It is I, who will be alone..."
The dying fire crackled silently, but still louder than his master's quiet breathing. Sebastian couldn't help but admire at the picture — how vulnerable the revenge-driven youth looked, how innocent... without all that anger wrinkling up his face, his lovely mouth slightly opened, revealing the soft pink muscle within... My, my, such a seductive image, one that was capable of making a demon lust.
Sebastian shook his head, scolding himself for thinking of such things when he's only a butler, and most of all, letting his emotions to affect his demonic senses again.
But... surely, one tiny bite of the forbidden fruit wouldn't hurt?
Hesitantly, the butler walked up to his sleeping young master, bending down to admire that fragile beauty a little closer. The close proximity between the temptation and himself caused the demon to salivate involuntarily. He swallowed; it's been such a long time since —
"Sebas- Sebastian." Eyelid fluttered open, blue hit red, and the demon gathered the fallen pieces of his butler mask again.
"Is there something on my face?" Ciel asked, sleepiness lingered on his childish complexion.
"No, young master; I was just about to wake you for the bath." Sebastian replied calmly with a smile, slightly moving away.
"Ah, I see." Ciel stretched, and Sebastian looked on hungrily at a kitten that he could not yet pet.
Inside the steamy bathroom, Sebastian removed his master's clothing painstakingly, trying his best not to admire at the delicate structure of the young noble too much, but it was proving to be quite a difficult task. Lust was usually something beyond a demon. What is there to lust for when perfection itself can be found in oneself? Narcissistic? Yes. But it was true. However, Ciel was something completely different. Sebastian had never truly lust for something, but Ciel's soul... He wanted it, he needed it... He simply couldn't live without it. His body... so sinfully attractive, even though it was marked by his torturers' brand, but this fault only added to the perfection as a whole... Sebastian wanted to mark it anew as his and his only.
Ciel sat down in the tub, inhaling the sweet scent of roses, allowing his senses to be engulfed by the soothing warm water. Feeling quite content that the day was finally over, the earl thought of his luxurious bed and let out a sigh of relief.
Although feeling quite satisfied, Ciel was not unaware of the gloominess of his butler.
"Sebastian, what is the matter? You seem quite disconcerted." Ciel commented casually, attempting to look as composed as possible, as if he just commented on how pleasant the weather was. He was expecting a clever come-back any moment now — how foolish he was to think a demon could be upset by something as trivial as criticism from a woman... Sebastian was just probably impatient about still having to wait for Ciel's soul, and it didn't seem like they were any closer to the end.
It took Sebastian by surprise that his young master seemed to be worrying much about his well being lately. This was the second time he's been asked. Should he open his heart to his master? Oh, what on earth is he thinking now? A demon opening his heart to the soul he is to devour? Shouldn't it be the other way around?
"Forgive me my lord, if I have been slacking in my tasks." The demon finally replied.
"That's not what I meant-"
"Then whatever do you mean, sir?" Sebastian cut in nervously, something he'd never done before, and both master and servant were surprised at the absurdity of the situation. Silence lasted for what seemed like hours before Sebastian opened his mouth again.
"Young master, please forgive me for my rudeness."
Ciel nodded automatically, keeping his thoughts to himself. Sebastian scolded himself relentlessly in his mind. How stupid could he be? What has happened to him?
"I think that's quite enough Sebastian, you've been rubbing my back for a while now." Ciel said monotonously.
The demon almost stuttered. He really should pay more attention instead of letting his mind wander.
"My apologies, my lord." Sebastian spread the towel as Ciel stood up, wrapping the soft material around the tiny frame of the boy. His palms lingered on his master's shoulders for perhaps a little longer than usual. If Ciel noticed, he did not comment on it. Sebastian proceeded to carefully dry his master's body with the towel, then took the bath robe that was resting nearby and put it over him, tying the knot loosely while trying to avoid looking at that certain region of the pubescent body.
"Carry me." The boy ordered.
Ciel was tired, and he did not intend to take another step. Sebastian put his right arm behind his master's knee as he carried the boy bridal style. He walked out of the bathroom, leaving his white cotton gloves and his master's eye patch behind; when it was only the two of them, there was nothing to hide.
It was extremely unnerving... What had just passed in the bathroom. Sebastian was afraid that he was losing control. Even though his appearance was calm in front of the young master, his mind was spinning like a spinning top! Sebastian tried to tell himself that nothing is going to happen; all he had to do was to tuck the young master in bed and then leave — as simple as that. The demon gently sat the boy on the four poster bed and reached for the nightshirt that was already laid out on the side.
"Sebastian, where are your gloves?" Ciel asked, breaking the silence.
"Do you wish for me to wear them?" Sebastian asked politely, attempting his best to hide the lurking emotions in his eyes.
"No, just leave it be." Ciel replied, stealing a quick glance at the mark on his butler's left hand.
Sebastian undid the knot gracefully, however his hands were almost shaking. The piece of clothing fell on the carpeted floor with a muffled thud, revealing the boy's naked body. Sebastian helped the boy to put the nightshirt on, when he was about to button up the first button, Ciel broke the silence once more.
"What's on your mind?"
Sebastian did not know if it was the question that finally triggered it or the way the boy asked it, but the demon found himself looking at a terrified Ciel, his own body towering over the boy's, pinning him on the bed. He could feel his own pulse in his head, pumping in his ears. Sebastian immediately felt guilty as he saw his own reflection in the boy's deep blue orb, his irises contracted in terror because his natural instinct was leading him to think that the demon would devour him right then and there. All Sebastian wanted to do was to wipe that fear away, he wanted to feel, to feel his young master's —
"You are on my mind." Sebastian whispered in the boy's ear softly. "You, young master, penetrating my every thought..."
"Sebas-"
"You, whose face I see when I close my eyes, whose voice I hear when I am alone..." Sebastian caressed the boy's right cheek softly, looking deep into the glowing contract mark. "Stop torturing me, young master..." This was the end, there was no going back. He had shattered his own mask.
Their lips collided, locked firmly yet softly. Ciel's body relaxed involuntarily, the romantic words of his butler repeating over and over again in his mind. The way Sebastian looked at him, the way his lips moved as he uttered those sweet words... Now their bodies pressed against each other, he could hear Sebastian's heartbeat... Do demons really have hearts? Or is this only his own heart beating? Or are they both beating at the same rate, in sync with each other? Or was this just the sound of his folly?
Ciel was breathless as they broke apart, having forgotten to breathe during the kiss. His demon butler looked at him with the same tenderness swimming in his crimson eyes. Ciel stared back, refusing to give in to this staring contest, half expecting an explanation from the demon. However, no explanation came, and Sebastian's face was getting closer once more, their foreheads pressed against each others. The mixed scent of roses, of soap, and of cinnamon engulfed Ciel's senses, reminding him of the cinnamon cake that he had for tea time that afternoon.
Sebastian kissed him again, a soft peck. Another one on his cheek, then one on his nose, then one on his other cheek, then one on his forehead. They were soft, the smacking noise they made somehow calmed Ciel down.
"Young master." The demon whispered again in his ear.
The boy still lay motionless. Sebastian began to worry what was going through Ciel's mind. Had he acted too rashly? What is the young master going to do now?
"Your hair is tickling me." The boy finally said.
Sebastian couldn't help but chuckled. But it was a nervous chuckle.
The next move from Ciel surprised the demon — he was being pulled down by his necktie, the young master's arms wrapped around his neck, pulling him into an embrace. Ciel inhaled the scent from his butler's shirt collar deeply, but it only reminded him more of the cinnamon cake that he had... The close proximity between the demon and himself did not seem to bother him one bit. What is all this about? Has he really gotten use to this demon this much already?
The weight of his demon butler was not as suffocating as he imagined. If anything, it felt more like a security blanket.
"Young master?"
"Hold me."
Sebastian did as he was told. He felt rather... happy. He was not so sure to use that word freely. He would rather say he felt content that his young master was not struggling, but instead letting him to hold him. Usually the young master hated being touched, it took him long enough to get use to him... but now...
Sebastian pressed his palm against the back of Ciel's head, the silky touch of the boy's hair reminded him of the fur of a cat. Sebastian couldn't help but felt delighted at the idea of being able to pet this big kitten. It would be fair to say that he was beyond content now; he felt almost blissful. How shameless of him... as a demon, and a butler at that.
Sebastian suddenly felt something warm against his jaw — Ciel was pressing his lips against it.
"You are cold." The boy stated.
"Perhaps the young master would care to find a place on my body that is not cold?"
Ciel finally blushed, growing aware of the certain part of his butler's body that is now pressed against his thigh.
"Sorry to disappoint, but I don't think I do tonight."
Sebastian took the hint from 'tonight'. "So maybe another night, young master?"
"Just shut up and hold me."
To Ciel's surprise, his demon butler did not make any comment, but only held him tighter, as if it was the end of the world. What has happened to his butler as of late? However, Ciel was too drained to ponder upon the subject. In his demon's embrace, the intoxicating scent engulfed his senses, sending him far away into dreamland.
A/N: Has anyone figured out what the sentence/quote under the title of each chapter meant yet? It's supposed to be Sebastian's response to the question in the summary of this fic: Sebastian, does it hurt?
Well, I keep saying I am hesitant to write this fic because it doesn't have a real plot. It exists solely for my interpretation of how Sebastian love. Therefore, don't expect a plot or any sort of "ending" to this fic. Read it as you enjoy it, but just keep that in mind I guess :/