I wish I was able to turn back time instead of see the future. If I could go back in time, I would've convinced Edward with everything I had to not leave. Instead I let him go. I could have stopped him. But, instead I see the future. I see Edward wandering the lonely streets, I see his dark ghostly eyes. I also see Bella sometimes. She's catatonic, doesn't eat much, has nightmares every time she sleeps, cries her heart out. Her life is a shell now, lonely. I wish I was able to go see her, but I unfortunately promised Edward.
The house is empty without him and a sadness lacing everything. Esme is distraught over his departure. Carisle wishes he would come back and stop torturing himself. Even, Rosalie misses her brother.
I look out the window, there's snow on everything. Like a fluffy blanket. We moved up to stay with the Denali clan, because of course we couldn't stay back in Forks. It looks beautiful here, though it also did in Forks-with all the trees. In Forks,Washington, us Cullens actually had a point when we were all happy. I heard the door open then softly close behind me, I smelled the delicious scent. And spun around facing Jasper. I knew that before I actual face-and I didn't even need my visions, I laughed internally, You have to love being a vampires sometimes. I stopped thinking how vampire powers are amazing because being a vampire means Bella and my brother can't be together and Rosalie can't have a family. Though being vampires brought our family together. With the exception of Bella, I thought.
"What's wrong. I could feel your sadness all the way from down the road." Jasper asked, getting up to hug me softly. Being a vampire brought me to Jasper. I am grateful for that.
"Just thinking..." I drifted out, looking back out the window.
"About Bella?"
"Yeah." Anger flashed through me, "I wish I could call Edward or something, to tell him how big of a mistake this is! Bella is suffering, the TOTAL opposite effect he wanted on her! It sucks having these visions and knowing I can't do much to change them because that's up to Edward." I was enveloped in Jasper's welcoming arms while I sobbed tearlessly.
It was then I got a vision. My eyes glazed over as the scene unfolded before me. It was Bella sitting on the couch, staring out the window, into the snow. Much like I was doing moments ago. Her eyes still looked empty, without the depth of her brown eyes you could always spot when she was Edward or us. Happiness, joy, contentment were the emotions she had around us. I know this for a fact because Jasper used to tell me all that when she came over.
Bella was still sitting in the couch, her legs folded up to her chest and arms encasing her body. Her eyes poured salty raindrops, that skidded over her pale cheeks, to the tip of her chin and down- staining her plain white tee-shirt with darker spots. The vision changed a macro bit, to show Bella sobbing. Her chest heaving, chin trembling, eyes closed, still crying. She dropped her head to her knees, almost as if in prayer. The vision faded out, but not until I caught a glimpse of a Christmas tree in the back round.
To know that's what Bella is suffering, pulls at my heart. Though knowing Edward did that and he could change-though he's not- hurts me double time. If only he hit his head or something and got some sense knocked into him.
Now, I feel undeserving of Jasper because meanwhile Bella lost her soul mate and has to suffer through that. And, its been months!