A/N: Okay thank you all for waiting a week while I was in New York...which was amazing by the way. I went there with my church on a mission trip. But anyhoo, I hope you guys like this chapter, it's more of a prelude into something more, but you'll find that out in chapter 16. Read and Review!
Disclaimer: I do NOT own the songs "How Strong Do You Think I Am?" from Instant Star, or "Don't Turn Away" by Ra (I really suggest if you haven't heard don't turn away, to go onto youtube and listen to it. It really gives you a feel for Tommy's sound and is an AMAZING song, for those who like rock music)
Chapter Fifteen
That night Tommy was in his room getting ready for the ceremony. Staring into the mirror he couldn't help but realize what an idiot he had been earlier. What am I doing? Jude was actually ready to be with me and I push her away? I…the one who wanted to get her to stop pushing me away? Yeah like that makes any sense… he thought, tearing his gaze away from the mirror, sick from the image.
He was dreading tonight, yet anxious at the same time. Hopefully, if all went well, things will be fixed by the end of the evening. Shaking his head once again in disgust he put on the black jacket to his suit, ready to leave the room.
Making his way down the steps he saw Jeff across the room talking to some cameramen. Looking away, Tommy hoped that he wouldn't be seen and would be saved from the torture of another conversation with him. There was just something about Jeff that annoyed the hell out of him. Upon entering the main hallway, Tommy's luck seemed to run out. Jeff had spotted him and was walking over rather exuberantly.
"Hey Tom, are you ready for tonight?" Jeff asked Tom when he finally reached him. Tommy gave a deep sigh and tried desperately not to roll his eyes.
"As ready as I'll ever be."
"Don't look so sad Tom. You're only losing 2 girls, you'll still have 18 more after tonight," he replied giving a laugh. Tommy gritted his teeth.
"It isn't them I'm worried about. Now if you'll excuse me I have something I have to take care of before we start," Tommy replied hastily. Damn Producers…he thought stalking off in the opposite direction of Jeff.
Tommy walked inside the studio taking a deep breath. He needed to calm his nerves before the show started. Picking up his song journal he leafed through it looking over the lyrics one more time. Tommy couldn't remember how many times he had re-written this song just to make it right; and still there were some doubts in his mind. Too late to back out now…he thought grabbing his guitar before heading over to the set.
Ignoring Jeff and the camera crew, Tommy made a bee-line for the platform they had set up for the concert. Approaching the platform he found Jason and the other musicians who would be performing with Jude that night.
"You guys ready for tonight?" he asked Jason.
"Definitely Tom, your song's actually not as bad as I thought it was going to be," Jason replied with a chuckle.
"Hey what's that supposed to mean?"
"Nothing, I just didn't expect 'Lil Tommy Q' to be doing rock." Tommy cracked a faint smile and nodded, choosing not to comment on Jason's choice of nickname. "Have you ever thought about going solo?"
"Maybe one day."
"You should, I think it would be a great way to get rid of the boy band image," he said laughing a little, "But we're all set. So we're playing this song right after Jude plays hers'?"
"Yup, right after she gets off stage. Have one of your guys make sure she doesn't leave the room," Tommy replied
"Ok, that we can do," he agreed looking back over his shoulder, "I'm going to have to get back to the band, we have to go through sound check and everything before they start the ceremony. I'll see you later Tom."
"That's fine. Thanks for all your help Jason," Tommy replied thankfully.
Jude was in her room getting ready while confessing what had happened in the studio to Haley. She was dressed in her concert outfit which consisted of designer jeans, brown high-heeled boots, and a white long-sleeved top. Haley was trying to apply make-up on her, finding the task difficult through Jude's jitteriness. Concert's never made Jude nervous; however facing Quincy after their little 'incident' wasn't something she was looking forward to.
"I can't believe I gave into him. I just threw away the whole plan!" she exclaimed.
"Sit still or else you're going to have a black streak straight across your face!" Haley ordered eye liner in hand. Jude continued on in her rant without any pause.
"He's been trying so hard to make me give in, so he can just push me away! No, I'm not letting that happen."
"Oh, so you're trying to fight for him now?"
"Not fight for him, that's stupid. I'm just going to show him how badly this is hurting me and let him know that he can't keep me down," she said confidently. Haley rolled her eyes, choosing not to call her bluff.
"Well, good for you," she said looking at the clock, "ok get a move on you have to be down there in less than five minutes."
"Ok, wish me luck!"
"Good luck! I wish I could see you perform our song, though," Haley replied.
"Yeah, I understand. It should be on TV tomorrow night for us to watch," Jude tried enthusiastically.
"Ok, see you later tonight then."
"Bye," she said walking out the door and down the staircase. I can do this, I can do this… she kept telling herself, nervously entering the ballroom. Jude saw Tommy talking to one of the producers in the corner. A familiar knot formed in the pit of her stomach, sending a whole other type of nerves throughout her. Why am I still attracted to him even though he's hurt me this much? she thought staring at him longingly. That is until he looked up and caught her. Jude quickly turned away embarrassed and walked backstage, shaking her head.
When everything was settled backstage, the ceremony started. All of the girls walked out in a procession to the middle of the room, where there were 18 roses sitting on a small table. Tommy stood behind the table, watching all of the girls in front of him. Sadie gave him a smile, which he returned uneasily. Jake, the host of the show, came into the room and started talking to the camera.
"Welcome back viewers to the first elimination of The Bachelor. Tonight, two of our lovely ladies will be heading home. Tom? If you would please," he said gesturing toward the roses on the table. Tommy had no trouble picking two girls to go home. Picking up the first rose he plastered a smile to his face before calling down the first girl.
Ashley walked excitedly to Tommy, accepting the rose. Soon followed Rachel and 15 other girls who eagerly accepted theirs. Tommy uneasily grabbed the last rose, quickly glancing over to Jude in the corner who was watching with a pained expression. Hoping the camera didn't catch that he turned his gaze back to the girls, not one flaw in his fake white smile.
"Sadie," he said as she walked up to him with a flirtatious smile. Reluctantly he said those five words, "Will you accept this rose?"
"Of course, what took you so long?" she asked while kissing him then pulling him in for a hug. Tommy looked over in Jude's corner only to see it empty. His heart sank as he pulled away and Sadie took her spot next to Brianna. The cameras turned back to Jake.
"Ok folks there you have it, our top 18. Now we have a special performance for you all tonight. Please welcome Jude Harrison singing her brand new song titled 'How Strong Do You Think I Am'," he said turning to the stage that had been set up. Jude walked out on stage putting on a fake smiling while taking a microphone.
"Hey you guys, this is a song that I actually have just written with a little help from a friend of mine. Hope you like it," she said staring straight at Tommy.
If I don't cry, do you think I don't feel?
If I look away, it doesn't mean I don't see,
And just because I want someone when I'm alone,
Doesn't mean I'm helpless,
That I can't stand on my own.
How far can we go before we break?
How long can I wait?
How strong do you think I am?
How much can I take of this?
Am I a rock, or a rose, or a fist?
Or the breath at the end of a kiss?
How deep do you want to go, because I'll go there if I can,
You make it harder than it has to be,
How strong how strong, how strong do you think I am?
Tommy's heart sank once again as he watched her sing. There was really no one like Jude Harrison. I'm such an idiot…not like I didn't already know this.
It's so hard to tell,
What's in your heart,
What you keep to yourself,
Is tearing me apart,
And should I be afraid,
To dream about you?
And if you feel the same,
Whatch you going to do?
Tommy was becoming very uncomfortable as Jude's stare came upon him again. Stay calm, Tommy. You can get through this. Only a little longer than she can finally see how you feel too. Just keep your nerve…no reason for anyone to get suspicious.
If I move in any closer,
If you let go and give yourself away,
and if we let this happen to us,
Everything will change.
She's got that right, Tommy thought as Jude sang through the course. Everything will change…Jude finished the song and stepped off the stage. Like Tommy had anticipated, she tried to make a beeline toward the door and was stopped by Jason and Evan.
"You might want to stay here for this," he said while Tommy was walking to center stage. Tommy took the microphone in his hand and spoke into it.
"Ok the night's not over yet. As a special treat I'm going to be playing a song for you guys that I've written. It's called 'Don't Turn Away'. This is dedicated to someone very special. She knows who she is…" he said gazing at Jude unnoticeably. Sadie of course was in the crowd beaming, thinking it was about their newfound relationship. The producers and contestants were trying not to laugh, thinking that this was going to be another song like 'Pick Up the Pieces'. They were going to be very, very mistaken.
The guitars started playing as Tommy sang out the first words.
Under the sun I stand
Over the wings of Fallen Angels
I can't believe the things you show me
In my dreams I have you next to me
Yeah…
Forever gone is love
Out of control I fall in trenches
And if you leave me empty
How will I design the world I need
In your eyes you see it done
Colors drained away like water
Distance all but disappears
And nothing can be done
Don't, don't turn away
Don't let it take you overY
ou cannot give in
Don't let it take you over now
And in your eyes I catch
A tiny glimpse of heaven calling
You try to stay in touch but can you
End what has no real beginning
Everyone was shocked at this new style that Tommy was playing. No one knew of his secret desire to go solo as a rock artist. However only Jude's heart sank as she listened to his words.
And I walk away
I leave you right where you stand
I'll never regret all that I said to you
But you never turned away
Don't, don't turn away
Don't let it take you over
You cannot give in
Don't let it take you over now
When Tommy looked at Jude he could tell he got a message through to her. She almost had tears coming to her face as she watched him get down off the stage. Jude felt a pang in her stomach, realizing that she was once again falling for him. Only this time she didn't know if she could get back up.