crazy: Yeah, sorry I haven't updated recently, it's just I was trying to write one of the chapters for this, but I got a brain block, and as it was starting to clear up, some really depressing stuff happened, so my brain blockage came back, and I only came back from a trip to Guadalajara just the other day and while I was there in Guadalajara, even though I had my laptop, it was kind of useless since I had no internet connection and my sis and I had to share my aunt's laptop since it was the only one with internet and my aunt had forgotten the security password so we couldn't connect our laptops up to the internet(even though you make your own security password with the software she had).
Anyway, basically what I'm saying is this, since you are all such lovely readers that have to deal with a slob like me, you get a double update and a mega apology from me, I'll try to be much better about updates in the future, but I'm still dealing with the ever so lovely mixture of brian blockage and depression(please note sarcasm) so it might take a while longer before I get back on track with everything, I'm sorry, just this thing was very emotional for me and it also made me cry in public for the first time since I think, maybe second or third grade, and I'm entering high school this fall, so yes this thing that happened, was seriously just, not good. I hope you can all show some mercy and forgive the slow updates that you shall be receiveing for a while now.
"Hana-chan, there's some mail for you!"
Hanataro climbed down the rest of the stairs, still half asleep, with no shirt on, his hair a mess, and horrendous morning breath, he grabbed the letter out of his mother's hand, yawned loudly, then headed back to his room.
Hanataro opened the letter, out came some sort of invitation, a slip of paper, and a CD, he opened the invitation and read it, it was a wedding invitation.
"Hana-chan's mad."
Emily looked at Jack, who was staring instead at the ceiling, only seconds before loud crashes were heard coming from Hanataro's bedroom, immeadiately Emily rose to go and see what had made her son so upset, but Jack made a motion with her hand that signaled stop.
"Let him have his tantrum." was all she said and she then continued to eat her sugar free chocolate syrup covered, sugarless Lucky Charms.
Emily wondered how it was that the mere tone of voice that Jack made could make a person listen and do as she said, if it wasn't for the fact that she was so childish, then she would make the wonderful leader of some type of organization.
Jack opened the door to the front entrance of the large mansion that both she and Hanataro, who was still having a tantrum, although he had apparently run out of large objects to throw because the thumps and crashes became somehow smaller and softer, proudly called home, to see the entire Host Club standing on her front stoop.
"Hi hi peoples-san." she said, smiling happily and waving at them, even though they were less than three feet from her, seeming to not notice that they stared strangely, since they could hear the tantrum Hanataro was throwing.
"Um, Jack-chan, what's going on?" Haruhi asked, as Jack led them into the house, not seeming to care that the small girl was still in her Sunday morning pajamas.
Well, Hana-chan got something in the mail, then he gots all mads and stuff, and nobody, not even Jack-chan herself can get Hana-chan to stop throwing everything." Jack merely shrugged her shoulders, "Hana-chan's mad about something, but he won't stop throwing things long enough to answer, really, Jack-chan's upset herself."
The group was somewhat confused, they had only seen Hanataro upset once before, and even then his behavior wasn't like this.
"This reminds Jack-chan of when she met Hana-chan; he was being too loud and woke her up when he was throwing things." Jack suddenly mentioned as the group sat at a table in the dining roomesque room that they had ended up in.
Suddenly as the group had all been sitting there, quietly enjoying spending some time talking to each other, a pair of footsteps was heard coming from the adjoined kitchen, they all looked through the door, to see Hanataro, still dressed in his sleep attire, consisting of only a pair of boxers and no hair tie to hold his long hair back.
First Hanataro took a long drink of water, and then he opened one of the drawers, pulling out a pair of scissors, looking rather intently at them, and pulled his hair forward so he held its length in one hand. He looked from the scissors to his hair, contemplating whether or not he should really do this, if he did, Jack
would be pissed, if he didn't, he'd be depressed, such a difficult choice, place himself first, or his one and only best friend?
He sighed and placed the scissors back in the drawer, and then he leaned into the counter, holding his head in his hands.
"Fucking bastard!" he suddenly exclaimed, kicking the cabinet roughly, and then knocking over some glasses, but immeadiately calming down afterwards, "I've got to calm down, I've already been doing this, for, wow, four hours." he told himself aloud, after confirming with the clock that was conveniently placed nearby.
He sighed once more before stomping his way back upstairs and slamming a door so loudly that the group could hear several pictures surely falling from their places on the walls.
"Wow, Jack-chan has never seen Hana-chan this upset." Jack admitted, now extremely curious as to what caused her good friend, strike that, brother like figure, to get so upset.
The Host Club also wondered what had left Hanataro so upset, they could not have imagined that this was how upset he could get, the only other time they had seen him upset, was nothing at all similar to this.
A door slammed open again upstairs and the same stomping footsteps were heard, this time when Hanataro came downstairs he was dressed, jeans, white t-shirt and a blue, leather jacket, his hair had been placed into a sloppy ponytail. He paused at the bottom of the stairs, suddenly spacing out, or so they thought,
"I do not particularly feel like talking about what has upset me so, if you ask, I will be, unkind, to put it into terms that are more legal for me to say." he said, looking over at the general area where he now knew the Host Club was, he hadn't known when he had come downstairs with the intention of cutting off his hair. "I'll be back late, don't bother to wait for me." and he exited the house.
"Maid-chan, can you get Driver-kun to take Jack-chan and her friends to follow after Hana-chan?" Jack requested of a passing by maid, immeadiately they obtained the driver and were soon following stealthily after Hanataro who was getting to his destination by way of his motorcycle.
They eventually reached a park where some type of event was being held; it looked very much like a wedding of some sort. Hanataro parked his motorcycle with the rest of the attendees' vehicles, and he awkwardly joined the rest of the attendees in the audience, although he wasn't really in the audience, he would have felt sick there, instead he stood so far away from the wedding that he could barely hear the pastor ask the couple whether they would hold each other forever and ever in sickness and in health, etcetera, etcetera, and he could barely hear the heart wrenching "I do's from the man and woman that twisted his heart even more than it already was.
He really wanted to leave after that, but for some reason, the minute that the groom spotted him, Hanataro was like a deer stuck in a car's headlights, they were too pretty to stop looking at, but in this case it was not a pair of headlights, it was a pair of dark blue eyes that were partially covered with dark hair. He apparently didn't even realize the man came closer to him, being too distracted by his still amazingly good looks.
"I'm glad you got the invitation in time Hanataro-kun." the man said, smiling at him.
Hanataro turned his head to the side, hoping the bits of red hair which always fell out the pony tail he always held it in would sufficiently hide the slight blush that he knew the older man would be able see, "Tch, I just happened to be in the area is all."
The man smiled sadly, "You know, when I left, I really did plan on waiting, but, I met her, and things changed, Hanataro, I-"
"I get it, you don't have to tell me, what happened two years ago, was two years ago, don't have to remind me how much you helped to confuse me even more." he replied sarcastically,
"Hanataro." the man said sadly, reaching out to him, but putting his hand back down, knowing it would just make matters worse, "I at least wanted you to know."
"You know what sucks, Ryu?" Hanataro suddenly questioned, the man, Ryu apparently, remained quiet, signaling he didn't know, or didn't want to, "You can't give me back four years of my life, you can't return my first kiss, you can't just erase yourself from my thoughts." he answered, "You're just a fucking, selfish, bastard like that, I hope the two of you have a nice life together." and Hanataro walked off, leaving behind his first love, Ryu Junai, the man that had kept his heart only to shred it into a thousand different pieces.
Hanataro, instead of walking over to his own motorcycle, walked a slightly shorter distance, to the Benz that was parked near his motorcycle, "Ask me about anything, and I kill you." and with that he walked off to his motorcycle and drove off ahead of the group.
Hanataro slammed his bedroom door closed, he glared at the mess that he had left, the mattress was overturned and covering the window, all of his books now littered the floor, most of their spines bent and twisted, torn paper flitted past from the breeze his door had created, the game consoles were but mere pieces of plastic now. The CD player was still functioning though; he went over and decided to play the song one last time, "You Could Be Happy" by Snow Patrol.
"You could be happy and I won't know
But you weren't happy the day I watched you go"
'Of course I wasn't happy, bastard!' Hanataro thought, leaning against his overturned mattress as he fell to the ground,
"And all the things that I wished I had not said
Are played in loops 'till it's madness in my head"
'Your head? How many nights do you think I spent wishing I never met and hoping you would come back?!' Hanataro gritted his teeth, and brought his knees to his chest, pressing them against himself,
"Is it too late to remind you how we were
But not our last days of silence, screaming, blur"
'Of course it's too late, you're married now!' he shut his eyes as tightly as he could,
"Most of what I remember makes me sure
I should have stopped you from walking out the door"
'Why didn't you?! You could have explained it to me, couldn't you?!' he pressed his hands to his eyes, wishing they could stop the tears pushing against his eyelids,
"You could be happy, I hope you are
You made me happier than I'd been by far"
'No, she did! She stole you from me!' he tried to breathe calmly, so the tears wouldn't overflow,
"Somehow everything I own smells of you
And for the tiniest moment it's all not true"
'I still have those stupid presents you gave me, doesn't that even mean anything?!' he placed a fist in his mouth and bit down,
"Do the things that you always wanted to
Without me there to hold you back, don't think, just do"
'You never held me back, you only thought you did, idiot!' the taste of blood flooded his mouth but he paid it no mind,
"More than anything I want to see you, girl
Take a glorious bite out of the whole world"
'Oh yes, most simple thing ever to do, just forget about you in the blink of an eye, bastard!' he lay down on the floor, not wanting to do much else; he closed his eyes and slept.