Snape Revealed Shorts, Story ONE:
Lost and Found
Part 3: Who Needs Sleep?
AN: JK Rowling created most of these characters and the universe from which they hail…
Okay, we all knew this was coming. Even before I got pregnant I thought about writing a Snape and baby story. This takes place about 2 yrs after Severus arrives at Hogwarts to teach. He's had roughly 22 months to mourn for Lily and his involvement in her demise and has been having a very rough go of it. Some other tragic things have occurred as well since Lily's death that he's also trying to cope with.
(I'll be perfectly honest with you; I've forgotten a lot of what I wrote in part II and what I did write in part III of Severus Snape Revealed. I'm confused if I wrote things, or meant to, and don't have the time to go back to research. If I make a blatant mistake that goes against canon or against my own canon and someone calls me out on it, I'd really appreciate it, and I'll go back and correct it.)
This is not beta'd…
After six hours Severus wondered how something so small could be so loud. Every thirty minutes he would put Rhys in his cradle after he'd fall asleep on him, only to have him scream a moment later. He wasn't hungry for nasty, fake Muggle crap, and he was rubbing his eyes, but he just wouldn't sleep. Severus was a night owl but this was getting ridiculous. At four a.m. Severus took the screaming child from the cradle and put him on his lap…again. This time he Transfigured a rocker and rocked until the child fell asleep. Severus didn't move, instead he relished the quiet and decided to just sleep in the chair with the baby in his arms.
It only took about two minutes for Severus to fall into a deep enough sleep to actually dream when he heard the screams from the baby again.
"Damn it Rhys! Now what? You've only been sleeping for five minutes!" Severus snapped and then noticed the sunbeams billowing off the water from his window. He glanced at his large, black Grandfather clock and found that it was seven in the morning. "Holy shit!" Severus said, shocked at how tired he felt. "Okay, okay, um, you must be hungry and in need of a changing," Severus spoke to the red faced child, whose mouth was wide open as he screamed. "Fuck…I'm so tired I forgot I'm a Legilimens…" Severus said to himself and then rolled his eyes.
He stared into the child's greenish eyes and tried to ignore the tears falling down his plump, red cheeks. He felt hunger and overall discomfort from Rhys. "Mini! Get this child a bottle immediately!" Severus shouted as he headed to his bedroom to change the nappy.
"Master, that baby hurts Mini's ears!" Mini protested as she exited her cubby with her fingers in her oversized and over sensitive ears.
"It's been two bloody years Mini and I've asked you repeatedly not to call me Master, Professor will do, or even Mister. Please make this child a bottle…he's hurting my ears too."
"Yes Mas…Prof..Mis…"
"Don't call me Masprofmis please," Severus said as he put the baby down on his bed. "Rhys, please don't urinate on my every expensive silk-goose down Slytherin bedspread from Lucius, it's about a million thread count or something," Severus muttered, shocked he had a sense of humor after the night he'd had.
Rhys complied and didn't urinate; instead he kept trying to roll over on the very expensive bedspread. "No, I can't change your nappy if you keep rolling over," Severus said as the baby got up on all fours and began to crawl on the bed, wearing nothing but a smile. "Shit, he's mobile…and happy all of the sudden," Severus said as Mini came in the doorway with the bottle, but she would not enter the room. Severus tossed the nappy onto the floor near her.
"Wash this please and hand me that bottle," Severus urged as the shivering elf wearing a pink doily just stood there, looking rather terrified. "Hello! Speak English?"
"Mini fears human babies, they are loud and smell bad."
"He does not smell."
"Babies smell!"
"He's not smelly at the moment, just keep your nose away from his backside, okay?"
"Mini doesn't like babies, most of us don't."
"I know. Well, toss the bottle but be careful, it's glass," Severus warned as she just stared at him. "For fuck's sake," Severus said as he turned to approach the shuddering elf. As soon as he took a step to approach her he heard a loud thump followed by a terrible scream. "Rhys!" Severus shouted when he noticed the baby had crawled right off the bed and landed on the cold, stone floor. He ran to the baby to find he appeared to be okay, but it looked like he'd have a nasty bruise on his forehead. "Mini, get me some ice," Severus said as he picked up the baby, who then proceeded to pee, but the pee went all over his own face, making him cry even more.
"Oh poor Rhys, you're having a bad day," Severus said, using his robes to wipe the urine off the child's face as he scooped him up into his arms. "Shhhh," Severus said as he instinctively rocked and bounced the crying baby in his arms. Mini returned with ice but still wouldn't enter the room. Severus used magic to get the ice to him. He placed it on the growing mound forming on Rhys's forehead and then sat on the bed. "Shit, its only 7:03?"
A moment later a different elf wearing a baby blue hanky entered Severus's quarters and walked right into his bedroom.
"Miss Pamona said Eugina should help since Eugina is good with human babies," she said to Severus's relief. "Eugina can even bottle feed, Eugina bottle fed a little orphan before coming to Hogwarts."
"Thank Merlin!"
"Eugina. Eugina likes babies."
"Mini fears them," Mini said to the elf as she handed her the clean nappy. Eugina handed Severus the new nappy and smiled at him.
"Eugina doesn't like to nappy a baby that big though, those babies are too wiggly!"
"Yes, well, I can handle that if you can feed him for me," Severus suggested. He cleaned Rhys and then put the new, clean nappy on him. Rhys was still crying but the swell on his head seemed a little better. Eugina put the bottle in his mouth and the room was silent. Everyone sighed, even the baby.
Severus rubbed his temples for a moment and then remembered he really had to pee. He changed his robes and brushed his teeth just as Eugina was finishing with the bottle feeding. She placed Rhys on the floor, and he immediately sat up and let out a very large, loud, wet burp, followed by a smile, the first on him Severus had seen.
"Let's hope that keeps him happy," Severus said to himself. "I have to check on my Slytherins, Mini just keep him…alive…until I get back," Severus urged. Severus exited his quarters and slammed into Polonius Ohlms, the last person he wanted to see that day.
"Watch it!" Polonius snapped.
"Sorry! Why were you running down the corridor?"
"I'm late for a meeting, okay?"
"Meeting?"
"With the other Quidditch Captains, okay?" Polonius spoke with disdain, as three second year Slytherins walked by and make it more than obvious that they wanted to listen to their conversation.
"Fine, don't run though, you could hurt someone," Severus spoke in a calm tone.
"I doubt that'll happen….again."
"Sir."
"What?" Polonius asked as Severus reached for his robes and drew him closer to him with great force. Severus glared at the three students who nearly ran back into the common room.
"You will call me sir in the presence of other students, do you understand me?" Severus said in a sharp tone, keeping his teeth clinched as he spoke.
"Or what? You'll take points away from our House…again?"
"I told you last summer, say what you want to me in private but in front of students you will show me respect or I will remove points…or other privileges."
"You can't remove me as Captain. We both know you only made me Captain out of guilt for what you did! And to keep me quiet!"
"I made you Captain because you were the most qualified. And there is nothing to keep you quiet about. I told you numerous times it wasn't my fault! You must stop blaming me and blame Professor…"
"That's not what the letter said!"
"Fine," Severus said, releasing Polonius's robes and taking a step back. "I believe I also said we'd never speak of what happened again, and that includes the letter. Now go."
Polonius glared again at Severus and marched off to the main floor of Hogwarts Castle. Severus took a deep breath and decided against visiting his students. He returned to his quarters to find Rhys screaming again, Mini hiding in her cupboard, and Eugina crying.
"What's wrong?"
"Eugina doesn't know! Baby won't stop screaming!"
"Why are you crying?"
"He scares Eugina!"
"Merlin help me," Severus replied. Severus scooped up Rhys and held him tight. "What's wrong little one?" he asked, but the baby kept crying. The baby kept arching his back and kicking his legs. "Must be colic. Poor thing."
"What's that?" Eugina asked.
"Gas, not much one can do," Severus replied. He sat back in the rocker and rocked the baby until he quieted. A moment later, another parchment from Lucius flew from Severus's floo. The parchment hovered near Severus, emitting green mist and a long, green snake that began to dance. Severus rolled his eyes at the absurdity. He then used wandless magic to open the parchment and then cast an audio charm so the letter would read itself in Lucius's pompous voice.
Sev,
Survive the night? I imagine those filthy elves at that ridiculous castle can help you. Not sure why Dumbledore is making you do this, and I'm more confused as to why you put up with it, or why you're even still at that school and not utilizing your true talents elsewhere…
"I've told you a thousand times why I'm still here, you moron," Severus spoke to the parchment who just kept talking.
…But that being said, I've taken pity on you and enclosed a care package containing about twenty of Draco's old nappies, as you know they are Egyptian cotton, eight hundred thread count, hand woven nappies and gold and emerald encrusted pins…
"You're so fuckin' tacky Lucius," Severus said as Rhys smiled and almost began to giggle.
…And a few baby-clothes we received as presents that Narcissa never liked so they've never been worn. I hope you survive the weekend, I hope to have more information for you early next week. At least you'll be distracted this weekend with that baby and not devote your time to thinking about her anymore.
Sincerely,
Lucius A. Malfoy
Severus couldn't help but notice the change in Lucius's tone towards him over the last two years. He was being more formal and far less entertaining. He started by signing his letters L and then moved to Lucius, then Lucius Malfoy and now the ultra formal Lucius A. Malfoy. Severus didn't have time to ponder the state of their friendship. He needed to dress Rhys in the clothes Narcissa deemed too common for Draco to wear and grade some papers.
Severus was frantic. He wanted to yank out his own hair, but he didn't have to, Rhys already pulled out most of it, it felt like. He was jogging around his quarters with the screaming baby in his arms and didn't hear the knocks at his door, so he was stunned when he saw Sprout just standing in his sitting room.
"Sorry, Mini let me in…I knocked."
"What?" Severus asked, unable to hear over Rhys's screams.
"Why's he so upset?" she shouted, approaching him quickly.
"He's teething, sometimes he's okay but he's screamed for the last hour."
"Where's the Scotch?"
"I don't drink!" Severus said, knowing full well she teased him over his lack of joining her and the other Head's of House for drinks every week.
"Mini, go to my quarters and get the Scotch from my bar," Sprout dictated as Severus sighed in relief. "He has so many teeth already!"
"I know, it's his molar."
"How do you know that?" she asked. He couldn't tell her the truth about his mind-reading abilities, so he had to think fast.
"Oh…well, he's nibbling on his finger and I looked when he was screaming and saw how swollen it was."
"My babies didn't get molars until much later."
"All babies teethe at different rates," Severus instructed. He thought his head was going to explode. His ears, part Goblin, were very sensitive and he wasn't sure how much more crying he could live with. "I tried several different salves for his gums but nothing worked."
"Scotch my boy, nothing works better," Sprout spoke with a proud smile. "Ah Mini, thank you. By the way, Miss Nott approached me this morning. She said she was knocking on your door but you never answered."
"I didn't hear it."
"Good silencing charms here by the way. I couldn't hear Rhys's screams from the corridor."
"Thanks. What did she want?"
"A minor scuffle in your common room this morning. Nothing too serious."
"Let me guess, Mr. Haventree."
"Yes, your Head Girl told me several of your more…prosperous students were picking on him again."
"He needs to get over himself and embrace the fact that he is in Slytherin. There's nothing wrong with that," Severus said as Sprout gave him an odd look as if she disagreed. "By the way, what's your definition of picking?"
"Turned him purple, shrunk his arms, and burned all of his books."
"I see. I know who the culprits are, I'll talk to them. Is he okay now?"
"It'll take another day to get his arms back to their normal size. Now, just put this Scotch…."
"I know what to do, I just didn't want to resort to alcohol on a baby is all."
"Why on Earth not?" she asked. Severus gave her a look and then rubbed the Scotch on Rhys's back, bumpy gums. The baby licked and sucked on his finger and then stopped crying.
"Good, now he'll sleep. Time for dinner."
"What? It's that late?" Severus asked.
"Oh yes, time flies when one has a baby in their house."
"I'll be an old man before I know it at this rate."
"You'll always be the youngest Professor we ever had to me."
"I'm touched."
"Look how calm he is, the sweet little cherub."
"Are you sure you don't want to take this sweet little cherub?"
"I'm sure, leave him with Mini and go eat some dinner with us."
"No, I'll have my dinner here; I have so many papers to grade."
"It's the beginning of the school year!"
"So?"
"I forgot how evil you are to your students Severus. Oh well, enjoy," she said, making sure to leave the bottle of Scotch with him. Rhys slept in Severus's arms for four hours. Severus didn't want to try to wake him by putting him back in the cradle. He was able to grade some papers while the baby snoozed, but he never got any dinner for himself. At ten o'clock at night, Severus was exhausted and ready for bed. Rhys on the other hand, was wide awake, smiling, and putting everything he could find into his mouth. It looked like another sleepless night awaited Severus.