Snape Revealed Shorts, Story ONE:
Lost and Found
Part 8 : The Warlock, the Troll, and the Winner
AN: JK Rowling created most of these characters and the universe from which they hail…
Okay, we all knew this was coming. Even before I got pregnant I thought about writing a Snape and baby story. This takes place about 2 yrs after Severus arrives at Hogwarts to teach. He's had roughly 22 months to mourn for Lily and his involvement in her demise and has been having a very rough go of it. Some other tragic things have occurred as well since Lily's death that he's also trying to cope with.
(I'll be perfectly honest with you; I've forgotten a lot of what I wrote in part II and what I did write in part III of Severus Snape Revealed. I'm confused if I wrote things, or meant to, and don't have the time to go back to research. If I make a blatant mistake that goes against canon or against my own canon and someone calls me out on it, I'd really appreciate it, and I'll go back and correct it.)
This is not beta'd…
Severus was beginning to understand Lucius's parenting. He had taken to holding Rhys close to him in his freezing quarters at night and falling asleep that way. He found he enjoyed being able to feel and hear the baby's breathing and when he woke up crying, Severus was right there to calm him back down.
Another week had flown by and Severus couldn't believe it was nearing mid-October. He hardly even noticed the time he spent teaching and relished every moment he shared with Rhys at night. It was another Saturday morning and Severus was making magical myst-puppies out of green light and having them dance around Rhys, who tried to catch and pet them when there was a knock at his door.
"Enter," Severus said as Albus Dumbledore entered his quarters and smiled at the giggling boy seated on Severus's lap.
"The Volgner's will be here in two hours. I could tell by the tone of Vernice's letter that she knows why I wrote her."
"I've been thinking about this and Lucius is right, if they don't want him, I'm sure there's someone more deserving who does."
"That's not for us to decide."
"You're head of the Wizengamot! You have the authority to get him adopted by proper parents, not assholes who leave him for dead in a cabbage-patch!"
"We've been over this Severus; we need to try to reunite him with his own family. I'm sorry I put you in this situation. If I'd had any idea you'd grow so fond of the boy, I'd never done this."
"I'm not fond of…he's…I…"
"You love him, Severus, and don't try to deny it. And now, once again, your heart is going to be broken, and I feel just awful about it."
"I don't love him, I just…"
"Please, I want you with me when I talk to Mrs. and Homer Volgner today," Dumbledore spoke as Rhys for the very first time clenched on tightly to Severus's robes, almost as if he were giving him a hug. He buried his blond head into Severus's shoulder and cooed. A moment later, he'd grabbed a handful of Severus's robes and began to gnaw on them while twirling Severus's long locks of black hair in his fingers.
"We'll be there!" Severus snapped at the old man, who dared to gaze upon Severus with an apparent look of sympathy on his wrinkled face. Dumbledore smiled slightly and then turned to leave. Once Dumbledore had gone, Severus squeezed Rhys tightly and began to rock him.
"I don't lo…I have a strong affection for you, but trust me Rhys, even the worst caregivers are more worthy of you and your love then I will ever be," Severus spoke and then pulled the child away so he could see into his greenish-golden eyes. "You're a very good boy, but you're better off without me. Everyone I love suffers horrible ends, so it's best I don't love you…hell even liking you is putting your life at risk. I can hardly stand Lucius and look what happened to him!" Severus said as Rhys smiled, exposing a mouth full of teeth. His rosy cheeks and soft coos made Severus smile back involuntarily.
"Daaa…ba-ba…Mmmmmaaah," Rhys spoke through his smile.
"Alright…I can stand Lucius. I can't lie to you. I like him just fine. I mean he's a total wanker…hell sometimes he's a downright troll! But he has issues, like so many of us do. He's….entertaining to be around. This doesn't mean I like him per se. He's selfish and would sell his own dead mother's bones if it meant keeping him out of prison," Severus said as the boy let loose some drool that trickled down his chin and clung to a wet-string before snapping and landing on his green colored gown.
"Mmmah-ba-bah!" The boy exclaimed and then giggled. He seemed very proud of himself for speaking so clearly.
"You caught me again, that's not true. He actually loves his dead mother and her bones. He loves his wife and son, but he would sell me to save his own skin, of that I'm certain. I'm also certain he'd lose some sleep over it and then try to somehow buy me back over time."
"Ma! Bah-ooo!" the boy squealed so loud Severus's ears began to sting. "Da-da-da-da-daaaaa…"
"I'm not Dada, but I know all babies say Dada no matter what, which is why fathers are called Dada… Can you say Sevy?"
"Sluh…da-duh! Duh!"
"Well I guess Sluhdaduh-duh is close enough," Severus replied and then chuckled.
Severus took the sleeves of his robes to dry the chin of the drooling boy. He then did something he never thought he'd do, he stuck his slender finger into Rhys's nostril and removed a very obtrusive bogie from Rhys's nose. "Shit, I must love you; I'd never pick anyone else's nose…period."
"Yeahhhh!" the boy nearly shouted. "Mab! Mah! Mmm-bah!"
"But for your sake, and health, I don't love you, in fact, I can't stand you…no wait, my enemies don't fare well either…Hmm...well hell…it seems just knowing you dooms you. I really should give you back."
Instantly Rhys made a horrible face, then he slowly opened his mouth and a horrific, low, whine erupted and then slowly grew in volume and intensity. A moment later, tears began to stream from his closed eyes.
"I'm sorry, you must return to your family. I'll make certain they take good care of you."
The boy continued to cry and then he rubbed his wet eyes.
"Aw, you're so tired, shhh-shhhh, come here," Severus said, holding the boy tightly and bringing him close to his chest. Rhys rested his head on Severus's shoulder. With one hand he jerked hard on Severus's hair, and with the other he pinched Severus's upper arm tightly. "Ouch!" Severus yelled. How could a small baby pinch skin so tightly? Severus rocked back and forth until the child stopped wiggling and seemed to be drifting off to sleep.
"Shh, shh….I'll tell you a story. There once was a troll…named…James... James was a rather large, particularly nasty troll. James was not only nasty and really, really stupid, but he was also a gigantic coward. On top of that, James the troll smelled like hot sick, mixed with…crap," Severus improvised. "James was so stupid; he went into Muggle London and tried to go to Piccadilly Square. While there he trampled all over all the Muggles, which itself isn't such a bad thing, except he was giving away our world to the helpless Muggles, again, because he was so stupid…and…smelly. Enter the Warlock…Lucius, to the rescue. Um…Lucius was really repressed, and drunk and pissed off, so he garnered his platinum and diamond encrusted wand-of-doom and aimed it at the stupid troll, who just stood there and smiled. Lucius the Warlock aimed and…and…and…fluffernutter shot out of the wand and slammed right into the stupid troll's eyes, causing his spectacle's to stick to his smelly, ugly face.
"Um…what happened next…oh the stupid cowardly troll turned to walk away, quickly, because he was too stupid to run, so then he…he…sneezed and his runny, green bogies rained down on all the Muggles, and it made them stick to the streets, unable to move. So um…Lucius the Warlock summoned his friend, the Potions Master…Severus!
"The troll wiped the fluffernutter from his ugly face and looked at the Potions Master, who donned sinister, long, black, billowing robes made of the finest silk that Lucius the Warlock could get him on discount and the troll said… 'duh', which was all he was capable of saying because he was that stupid. The Potions Master removed a crystal vial from his satin lined pocket. He held the vial up so the troll and the Warlock could get a good look at the shiny concoction.
"The Potions Master made sure he had the troll's attention, not that the troll had much to offer, before speaking. 'In this vial I have…Tiger's-blood! And with this Tiger's-blood, I will defeat you vile and cowardly and pungent and senseless and incredibly ugly troll!'
"The troll appeared to laugh, even though he had fluffernutter dangling from his nasty, un-brushed, chartreuse colored teeth. 'He mocks!' the Warlock spoke as the Potions Master drank the vial of Tiger's-blood, which gave him super-wizard strength. The Potions Master's eyes turned from black to blood red. 'I have fire-breathing fists of rage, you evil troll!' The Potions Master spoke.
"The Potions Master aimed his fire-breathing fists of rage at the troll and in an instant, the troll was disintegrated, nothing remained but fluffernutter and bogies. The Warlock looked on at the triumphant Potions Master in awe, and then he smiled and nodded. The Potions Master opened his mouth to say 'And that's what I call…WINNING!' The End!" Severus said only then noticing the soft snores of Rhys, who passed out probably somewhere between fluffernutter and Tiger's-blood.
Severus squeezed the baby closer to him and closed his eyes while rocking back and forth. The baby was so warm and his sleepy face was so cute, Severus didn't think he'd be able to part with him. Then, Rhys farted and smiled in his sleep, a reminder to Severus that he's just human and would grow up to be a man someday, and Severus wasn't fit to be anyone's parent.
Severus donned the sling again and dressed Rhys in a nice, royal blue gown that he'd purchased the week before in Diagon Ally. He also made sure Rhys's favorite toy, his blue octopus, was clenched tightly in his hands as he floo'd over to Dumbledore's office. The Volgner's weren't there yet, but Dumbledore seemed ready for them. Severus didn't speak, but took the seat closest to the window instead. Rhys was awake, but was being uncharacteristically cuddly at that moment. He had one hand squeezing his octopus and with his other hand he twirled Severus's hair.
"Severus…"
"We have nothing to discuss," Severus said, staring down at his robes as if he could see Nina's black fur on them. He picked at his robes and tried to look as busy as possible to avoid eye contact. A moment later McGonagall entered the office with a witch and young wizard behind her.
"Ah, Vernice and Homer, how good to see you," Dumbledore said with a large smile and outreached arms. McGonagall left and Severus remained seated, staring down the family.
Vernice Volgner was a horrid looking witch. She had deep red, wiry, dry hair and brown eyes, but the whites of her eyes were yellow. Her nose was large and crooked and she wore a coral colored lipstick that looked atrocious with her sallow coloring.
Homer on the other hand was a tall, slender fellow with short black hair, brown eyes and appeared to have an athletic build. It was then that Severus recalled that Homer played Quidditch for Gryffindor. It seemed neither of them even noticed Severus and Rhys sitting in the corner silently.
"Albus Dumbledore, it's been so long since I've gazed upon you," Vernice spoke as Severus just rolled his eyes. "You remember my son…Homer," she said and then stared at her son with disdain.
"Hi," Homer said, looking down at the stone floor.
"Ah yes, Homer, how are you?"
"He's been better," Vernice spoke on her son's behalf. "I suspect you wrote me because of the…package my son seemed to have left?"
"Package? PACKAGE?" Severus shouted as he rose from his seat with the slinged baby in his arms. Vernice and Homer looked shocked when they saw Severus approach them with fierce anger in his face.
"Severus…" Dumbledore tried to speak.
"This is no package, this is a baby!"
"I know what it is. I thought it'd be better off with someone else," she turned to speak to old man.
"It? It? He is a boy!"
"Severus, please!" Dumbledore spoke in a raised voice. "Vernice, why would you abandon your grandson?"
"He's not really my grandson," she said and then glared at her son. Dumbledore and Severus shared a curious glance for a moment. She then slapped her son across the top of his head.
"Mum!"
"You don't speak!" she said as Severus held Rhys even tighter in his arms. "See, my…son…here went and had a child out of wed-lock!"
"For fuck sakes, it's the eighties, not the Victorian times, so what?" Severus spoke as Dumbledore took a deep breath.
"I think what my esteemed colleague is trying to say is, that's really no excuse to just abandon him," Dumbledore spoke in a diplomatic tone.
"Colleague? Aren't you…didn't you go to school here?" Homer dared ask Severus, who just glared back at him before speaking very slowly.
"Don't all wizards go to school here? Don't you want to see your son?"
"Dumbledore, if you would, could you and I speak alone?" Vernice asked but before the old man could answer, Severus quickly spoke.
"No, I've been stuck caring for your nuisance-bastard for a month, whatever you have to say, say it in front of me!" Severus said as she just stared at him with contempt.
"Let's all just calm down, sit and have some tea," Dumbledore suggested and then urged his guests to sit near the fire. Severus wanted to tell Dumbledore where he could stick his tea, and apparently it was obvious to Dumbledore from his expression. Severus sat and couldn't help but notice Rhys wasn't cooing, laughing or trying to wiggle away, instead he faced Severus in the sling and kept twirling his hair in his fingers.
"My son here, future barrister, went and got some Muggle pregnant!" she blabbered. Severus was instantly at ease. It was all starting to make sense. "And he didn't even tell me!"
"Could you blame me?" Homer asked as she smacked him across the head again.
"I found out when I read one of his letters to a friend he left out on his desk one day."
"Well, I still don't understand why the baby was abandoned here though," Dumbledore stated.
"When I found out I had a grandchild, I was first very angered. Angered that he'd keep such a thing from me. Then, I was bitter, bitter that I had a grandson who I'd never met. I had no clue the mother was a Muggle at that point. I demanded that Homer let me see the child!"
"Yes…I see," Dumbledore said in a confused voice, he glanced over at Severus who continued to simply glare at Homer.
"The next day he brought the child to me, and it was then I discovered he was not a true wizard, but some kind of idiotic half-blood!" she said, as Severus turned his glare to her instead.
"What the hell is wrong with half-bloods?" Severus asked. "I thought you Gryffindors didn't care about such things."
"My family is pureblood and has been since Merlin. This…baby…shows up with Muggle nappies and some bodysuit with a black and white caricature of a mouse on it and I'm supposed to accept him as my grandson?"
"Um, yes!" Severus responded harshly.
"Caricature of a mouse?" Dumbledore asked and then turned to Severus.
"He's called Mickey and who cares? He's your grandson!" Severus shouted as he turned his attentions back to the hideous woman.
"So you just left him here?" Dumbledore asked.
"No! I told my son if he thought it proper to go out and lay with Muggles and reproduce with them, then he could find someone to raise him."
"Why not let the mother raise him?" Dumbledore asked.
"I'd never let my son's child, half-blood or not, be raised as a Muggle! I told him if he couldn't find a family for him, to just leave him at the Ministry or St. Mungo's. He should at least be raised by witches and wizards."
"Listen to me you dim-witted, fried-haired, stuck up bitch! This is neither the Ministry nor St. Mungo's!"
"Severus! Please!" Dumbledore spoke in a loud voice.
"I can't believe you are being this calm!" Severus challenged.
"I can't believe you are being this emotional! Name calling and vulgarity will get us no where!" Dumbledore snapped and then turned to face Vernice and Homer again. Despite his disciplining Severus in front of them, Severus knew Dumbledore enough to know he was angered by them and just as annoyed as Severus was, he was just far more diplomatic with his verbiage. "Vernice, please, how did he end up here?"
"Don't ask me, ask my son!" she snapped and then slapped him across the head again.
"Mr. Volgner?" Dumbledore asked with a raised brow.
"Well, uh, mum was snooping! Ouch!" he yelped as he was once again slapped. "And she found out I got this girl, uh…pregnant and she wanted to help me raise him but she uh, found out he's a half-blood so she told me to dump him at St. Mungo's or someplace like that…"
"Yeah, we know all this, how did he end up here?" Severus asked impatiently.
"Well I thought he'd be better off here is all, alright?" he said and then moved as if he were going to be slapped. He glanced over at his irate mother, who didn't slap him and then continued. "I just thought you all would do a better job with him."
"Are you some kind of idiot?"
"Severus!" Dumbledore spat and stomped his foot.
"What? This is all absurd! None of it makes sense. Also, it's kidnapping! Where's the mother?"
"It's not kidnapping if she's just a Muggle!" Vernice sneered.
"What?" Severus asked, looking to Dumbledore for help.
"Vernice, it is indeed kidnapping, if the mother has no clue where her son is!" Dumbledore stated.
"Where's the mother?" Severus asked Homer, who opened his mouth to speak before getting slapped again.
"She…I don't know."
"Oh, you will tell me," Severus said, casting wandless Legilimens on him in search of the young girl.
"My so-called grandson, Squib or otherwise, must be raised in our world, no Muggle can raise him. I insist some family adopt him!" Vernice added.
"Squib? He's too young to determine that!" Severus defended.
"He's nearly a year old, Severus was it?" she asked. "By now he should have showed some sign."
"He's…he…"
"Has he shown you any sign?" she asked Severus who felt compelled to tell the truth.
"No, but…"
"It is true Severus, most babies show some sign before age one year, you know that," Dumbledore added. "But still, he belongs with his mother. I'm sure she's worried about him."
"Who cares, let her have children, Muggle children, with some Muggle man and raise them. This child, half-blood or not, has my blood in him and needs to be raised in our world."
"So you should raise him then, if the mother gives you permission!" Severus said.
"No, I won't raise some half-blood. My son has a promising career ahead of him as a barrister and he can't be tainted by having a bastard child, especially that bastard child," she said coldly. "What if that Muggle whore comes and finds my son someday and wants all his Galleons? Then what?"
"He's the boy's father, he needs to support him, financially, and the mother needs to raise him!" Severus urged. Severus got all the information he needed from Homer to find the boy's mother, who lived in a row house in Yorkshire. "When did you take the boy, and how?" he asked more calmly.
"Well, I mean, she…"
"How did you meet?" Dumbledore interrupted.
"I went to a Muggle pub with some mates, you know, just to see what it was like and I met her and uh…well…you know. Anyway about a year later I went back to the same pub and as I was leaving, I saw her across the street, with a baby and she saw me and ran to me and told me he was my son. I uh…I was pretty surprised. I uh…I got her address and went and visited a few times, then I wrote one of my mates to tell him and that's when mum found and read the letter. Mum said she really wanted to see him so I went and told Maggie that I wanted our son to meet my family…I uh, lied and told her I'd be back that evening…"
"How brave of you," Severus sneered as Dumbledore sighed.
"Yeah, uh, well, I uh…I brought him home and mum asked again who the mother was but this time I told her the truth, that it was a Muggle and when I told her, she told me to give him away so someone in our world could raise him. He stayed with us for about a week but mum insisted. She said it would ruin our family name to have a half-blood bastard and marriage was out of the question, so I left him near Hagrid's hut, I knew Hagrid and you all would take great care of him and find him decent wizarding parents."
"So you stole him?" Dumbledore asked.
"Yeah, I guess."
"You insufferable lousy excuse for a wizard," Severus said coolly and then rose with the baby in his arms. "None of you even want to see this precious baby, who's thriving and cruising and babbling and amazing by the way."
"Listen, Severus or whatever your name is, just leave him at St. Mungo's or…"
"No, you listen, Mrs. Volgner, you have no say-so anymore. This child has been kidnapped. You are criminals. I should call the Ministry on you! I'll care for him, and he'll be very well taken care of. I'm a half-blood too, so Rhys and I have a lot in common!" Severus said and then turned to leave Dumbledore's office.
"Who's Rhys?" he heard Vernice say as he slammed the door behind him with all his might, so much so it startled Rhys and made him begin to cry.
Rhys belonged with his mother, who lived in Yorkshire and was probably desperate to be reunited with her adorable son. Severus knew he had to track down Maggie and deliver her precious child back to her.
AN: Okay, couldn't resist the Charlie Sheen jokes, I hope my readers from around the world know who I'm joking about. In case you're wondering, yeah, Rhys is based on my son, William Rhys. He just so happens to be blond with greenish-golden eyes and is currently 11.5 months old. [03/12/11] He's also, all Muggle ;-)
If you'd like to see him, "like" the Severus Snape Revealed fan page on Facebook!