Snape Revealed Shorts, Story TWO:
Pure Romance
Part 4: Narcissa
AN: JK Rowling created most of these characters and the universe from which they hail…
I can't leave the house these days without some stay-at-home Mom trying to sell me some Pure Romance. I assume this type of stuff is sold worldwide, but I live in the town that started Pure Romance. Yes, a family in Cincinnati, Ohio came up with the idea years ago and it's grown into a monster. If you are unaware, it's a company that sells sex toys. Yes. So I'm going to write a story about it for no good reason. No, I don't work for Pure Romance, no, I've never been to any of their parties, but I'm invited all the darn time!
It goes without saying this installment is rated M for mature language and some graphic…um…depictions. Okay, it's just plain raunchy.
(This story begins during the first week of October, 1985. Rhys is long gone, as is Lily, and after four years of mourning, Severus is still deeply affected, however, he's slowly beginning to emerge from his self-imposed mental-exile.)
This story is not yet beta'd…
Two days later, Severus sat in Dumbledore's office for the weekly staff meeting. He'd had an enormous headache all day that nothing seemed to cure. Severus sat and listened, while rubbing his temples, and tried not to make eye contact with Kathleen. Since his hearing was so sensitive and Professor Flitwick was so loud, the meeting was making his headache worse. He'd also barely slept since Halloween.
"Severus, do you have a headache?" McGonagall asked.
"Yeah," Severus responded while still rubbing his temples.
"Why not take something?" McGonagall asked again.
"I did...I've just...it was a rough night," he added. "The Slytherins' have discovered...heavy-metal."
"This happens time and time again Severus. Why do you allow them to blare music in the common room?" she asked in a stern tone. "I don't allow it in my House."
He wanted to say that's the reason why no one liked her, but he kept his opinions to himself.
"I normally don't mind, but they were playing utter crap last night and I just..."
"You don't eat enough," Pomona interupted. She got some finger-sandwiches off the tray and handed them to Severus. "Ham salad? No? Chicken salad? No? Egg salad?"
"Egg," Severus replied, grabbing for the sandwich.
"You do know eggs come from chickens, right?"
"Yeah, Pomona, I'm aware of that."
"It's an ovum; you do know that, right?"
"Yeah!"
"So it's like eating a tiny little chicken!"
"Pomona, stop teasing him! He just doesn't like meat, okay?" Kathleen interjected. Severus's head was throbbing too much to try to defend himself anymore. He ate the sandwich, and even went and had two more.
"Out of curiosity, what band were they listening to?" Kathleen asked.
"Uh, Motley Lou," he asked as she covered her mouth to conceal her giggle. "What?"
"It's Mötley Crüe! And, wow, they are Muggle, except for Mick Mars, he's an old wizard."
"Is he now?"
"He's one-hundred and two years old."
"Wow," Severus replied.
"He started out in Vaudeville," she instructed. "I'd not taken the Slytherins to be the types to enjoy Muggle music."
"Me either," Flitwick added.
"What can I say, they know a good thing when they hear it," Severus replied.
"What's so good about Muggle music?" McGonagall asked.
"Well, wizarding music sucks, that's why," Severus replied as Kathleen and Pomona started to laugh.
When the meeting was over, he stood to leave when Kathleen approached him. "Goodness, have you eaten in the last few days?" she asked. He lied and nodded his head. "I've not seen you at any of the meals. You're not avoiding me, are you?"
"No," he fibbed again. "I've had papers to read and stuff."
"Ah, mind if I walk with you?" she asked.
"Not at all," he replied. He motioned for her to exit Dumbledore's office ahead of him and then joined her in the corridor. "So I spoke with my friend's wife, and I asked her to meet me for lunch on Saturday, and then I can discuss our plans with her further."
"Oh, okay. I can do Saturday."
"It's probably best you just go to the cafe with me, but wait nearby in case she says no. My friend will be out of town this weekend."
"That's convenient."
"It is," he said and then suffered through the awkward silence. He wasn't paying attention and walked one step behind her as she exited the castle, so when he looked out, he only then noticed they were near the edge of the Forbidden Forest.
"Why is this forbidden again?" she asked.
"Um, well...uh...good question. No real reason other than there are some pretty nasty creatures that live here and we don't want the students in any danger."
"Better be no vampire-hive in here."
"No, no vampires, though we had one teach here once."
"No!"
"Yes, I was shocked. He attacked me, so he got sacked."
"Jesus! Who would hire a vampire?"
"They were desperate."
"Must have been. You were attacked? How awful for you," she said, taking a step closer to him. He looked down at the smaller witch as their eyes connected. He knew he shouldn't but he almost felt as if he couldn't help himself. He leaned in, and wrapped one arm around her waist to draw her towards him quicker and then he kissed her. It only lasted about five seconds, but when he stopped and released her, she looked to be at a loss for words, which was uncharacteristic for her.
"We should head back; it's really chilly out here."
"I'm actually warming up," she said in a somewhat mocking tone. She smiled up at him and then walked ahead of him back towards the castle.
"Pomona, you can put all the dead animal on my plate you want and I still won't eat it," Severus urged as the witch snuck part of a meatball onto his plate of pasta with marinara. She just winked at him and lathered butter onto bread and put it on his plate as well.
"Well, I have to eat and run I'm afraid," Flitwick said, as he hopped down from his seat and left the Great Hall. A moment later Kathleen moved from her seat and took Flitwick's.
"Up for some chess tonight?" she asked in a quiet voice. He noticed her eye was drawn to the piece of meatball on his plate. She rolled her eyes and smirked. "She won't give up, will she?"
"No, Hufflepuffs are very determined where food is concerned," Severus replied. "Um, chess, sure," he said, wondering if chess really meant chess. She simply smiled and then grabbed the meatball from his plate and ate it.
"Hey, why did you kick Hinnie?" she asked as she opened the door to her quarters that night. Severus sighed and entered.
"I didn't kick her!"
"She swears you kicked her and then beat the old inhabitant of his room to a bloody pulp."
"I did no such thing."
"Hello! House elves don't lie!"
"I moved her out of my way, okay?" he defended as she lifted a brow. "With...my foot. She was unharmed."
"Why did you beat a fellow teacher up?"
"Because he deserved it."
"No one will tell me about him, Hinnie won't even mention his name, he's just her former-master."
"Well we don't talk about him and I'm sorry if Hinnie thinks I kicked her. I moved her out of my way... she was...defending him."
"They can be loyal that way," she smiled. He entered her sitting room and noticed another box on the table. He marched over and opened it and pulled out a piece of satin-material with a dildo attached to it.
"What the hell is this?" he asked.
"It's a strap-on," she replied nonchalantly.
"A what?"
"A strap-on."
"What?"
"S-t-r-a-p..."
"No I understand the words coming out of your mouth; I have no idea what they mean though."
"It's for...um..."
"People without dicks?"
"Exactly."
"How many dickless blokes do you come across?"
"God, Severus, you are so naive. I hope you're kidding. It's for women."
"Oh...why?"
"Well lot's of lesbians like to use it."
"Why? If they liked dick shaped things poking them in their privates they'd not be lesbians."
"It's not that simple. Some straight women use them too...on their men."
"Why?" Severus asked. He'd heard of that behavior but really knew very little about it. He mostly wanted to hear her explanations.
"Well, there's this little thing called a prostate deep in a man's ass and some men like to have it...poked. Okay?"
"No thanks."
"I've never milked a prostate..."
"Milked a prostate?" Severus chuckled.
"No!" she smiled. "But some men really like that. So I have to offer these products to my customers. Listen, no judgment Severus. If my customers want these, for whatever reason, I acquire them, and that's that."
"I see. I just always thought men who liked their...prostates...poked used other objects."
"Oh, like what?"
"Well back when I was a Healer I saw all sorts of things stuck up people's asses and..."
"Wait, you're a Healer?" she asked.
"Yes."
"Wait, how old are you, may I ask?"
"I'm twenty-five," he admitted, surprised the others hadn't told her his age or previous profession. Her mouth dropped. She giggled nervously and then put her hand over her mouth and turned to walk away.
"Wait, how long have you taught here?"
"Four years."
"Wait, so...um, I'm confused, why would anyone leave being a Healer after such a brief time to come work here?" she asked making a bit of a sour face.
"Albus Dumbledore asked me to."
"So? He's not freakin' Merlin, you do have free will," she urged. Severus smiled at the irony. He had no free will. His life was not his own and more than likely never would be again.
"It's a long story...um, may we discuss it some other time?" he asked. She smiled and nodded. "Thanks."
"So, when you were a Healer, what kind of things did you remove from people's asses?" she asked, motioning him to sit down.
He took a seat and tried to remember something he wanted to really just forget.
"Well, a gerbil," he stated as she made a sickened face. "All kinds of fruits and vegetables, oh, a leg of lamb..."
"No wonder you're a vegetarian!" she chuckled. He smiled and looked down for a moment, as if to hide the humor showing on his face. "Sorry, go on."
"Um...well I've yanked wands out of every possible orifice, a salamander..."
"A freakin' lizard? That's so gross!"
"Yeah, it was disgusting. Now that I think of it, these strap-ons are a great idea!" he smiled. "Poor little buggerer lived too."
"What a shitty life he must have," she laughed, causing Severus to join in as well. "Sorry, it's wrong to mock a shit-stained lizard."
"Well they are cold blooded and deep inside someone's ass is nice and warm, I'd imagine."
"Okay we can move on to other topics now," she pressed. "Oh hey, I couldn't help but notice earlier today, in the forest, you um, kissed me."
"Oh that's right," Severus jibbed. "I'd nearly forgotten. Indeed I did, and I should have done it sooner I suspect."
"Well I mean no rush."
"No, I just..." he paused. He folded his hands and stared down at the floor. "I just don't want any kind of...serious relationship," he nearly whispered.
"Oh, me neither!" she rejoiced. He glanced over at her for further explanation. "I mean, I like you, okay? Let's just...have fun."
"Fun," Severus spoke. He took a deep breath and smiled. "Fun!"
"Yeah, I mean, nothing heavy. Let's face it, you're the only wizard in this castle over seventeen and under forty-five...oh, and over three and a half feet tall," she pressed as he again chuckled.
"So it comes down to lack of other options?"
"Well, I mean, I like you. You could say the same for me; I'm the only witch over seventeen and under forty, who's not three hundred pounds."
"This is true. You're lucky I like you too then."
"So see, there you go! If I didn't like you, I mean, hello, I have a box of tricks at my disposal if I'm really that desperate."
"True."
"Wow...a Healer huh? Healer and Potion's Master, all before twenty-five, what an accomplishment."
"I guess," Severus sighed, not finding any part of his miserable life to be accomplished.
"McGonagall said you were one of the brightest and most talented students she ever had...of course I had no idea you were a student just not all that long ago."
"She said that?"
"Yeah. She said your intellect and abilities are...frightening...I guess she's intimidated."
"I guess. Oh, so how old did you think I was?"
"Oh, I assumed thirty or so. The beard, it ages you!"
"Yes, I know, that's why I have it, well, mostly why."
"To conceal your youth?"
"It's easier if the students think I'm older."
"Shit, you taught your peers then?"
"I did."
"What was that like?"
"It was hell. Absolute hell. Thank God that's over with."
"Yeah, I'd say."
"So, how old are you?" he asked as she raised her brows and looked away. She seemed rather astounded.
"Sev, oh, may I call you Sev?"
"Of course."
"No one else around here does though."
"That's because only my friends call me that," he smiled.
"Ah, well, um, Sev! You never ask a lady her age."
"Lady?" he joked as she slapped his upper arm. She laughed and then brought her index finger to her mouth, to chew on.
"I'm a tad bit older than you, and we'll leave it at that."
"Very well. Not like, McGonagall old?" he smiled.
"Uh, no. Not quite! So, are we playing chess or...doing other things?" she asked.
After a fine evening of chess, Severus retired to his quarters and got a good night's sleep for the first time in weeks.
A few days later, he found himself seated alone at a Cafe in Hogsmeade, with Kathleen seated alone at a table nearby. He waited patiently and glanced over at Kathleen every few minutes until blue-clad Narcissa arrived.
"Sev," she acknowledged. He rose from his seat and came around to push the chair out for her. "Thank you."
"Hungry?" he asked, handing her the menu.
"Oh, just something light I suppose," she replied, glancing at the parchment as the server approached.
"Can I get you..."
"Yes, mineral water and Caesar salad for me," Narcissa interrupted not making eye contact but positioning the menu back in front of the server's hand. The server didn't bother to ask Severus, she just glared at him.
"Oh, uh, water..."
"Mineral?" she asked, with her thick Scottish accent and a full serving of sarcasm.
"No, well water is fine, and the crab cakes." She smiled, bowed, glared at Narcissa, took the menus, and stormed off.
"So, Sev, you said you had something really important to tell me?" she asked, placing the paper napkin on her lap.
"Yeah, um, well, it's about Lucius actually," he spoke as she rolled her eyes. "Well, he mentioned his...problem...again to me and..."
"You said there are no potions to help him."
"Yes, that is true."
"And no spells!"
"Also true, listen, Narcissa," he spoke softly as he leaned into speak to her, "Not everything is cured by magic," he instructed as her eyes grew wider. "I have a friend...a lady friend who..."
"Are you finally dating Sev?" she asked with a smile.
"No, not really, well, this isn't about me. Listen, her name is Kathleen and she's an American and I think she can maybe help you two out. If you want help."
"I thought I tried it all?"
"Perhaps not. She's very discreet and given your...um...past open-mindedness, I think you should have a chat with her."
"Okay," she sighed. "When?"
"Now," Severus replied, motioning for Kathleen to join them. Kathleen approached and before Narcissa could say no, she outreached her hand and smiled.
"Hi, I'm Kathleen," she spoke as Narcissa sat, still, in her seat, staring at the woman, before staring back at Severus.
"Oh, American witches like to shake-hands," Severus instructed.
"How very Muggle of them," Narcissa said snidely. Severus had warned Kathleen of how 'Pink Bison' Narcissa was before hand. Narcissa shook Kathleen's hand with disdain on her face. Kathleen sat down next to Severus and folded her hands on the table.
"Okay Sev...shoo!" Kathleen spoke.
"What about my crab cakes?" Severus asked as the server presented their lunches to them.
"I just so happen to love crab cakes. Good-bye Sev, your work is done here," Kathleen said with a smile, to which Narcissa smirked. Severus rose from his seat, bowed to the witches, and headed back to dreary Hogwarts.
Later that evening, Severus was just about to go to bed when there was a knock at his door. He made the mistake of opening the door himself, which often made Mini cry.
"What's wrong with her?" Kathleen asked as the elf ran back into her cubby.
"She's...sensitive."
"I hope you didn't kick her."
"No, no, please, come in. How were my crab cakes?"
"Shitty so you missed nothing. That crabmeat was not port-keyed fresh and the waitress was a bitch."
"Well Narcissa started it."
"Yeah," she replied with raised brows. "I can see that," she said sitting down on his sofa. "Okay, so your friend...Lucius...completely fucked in the head."
"Yes tell me something I don't already know."
"My God Sev, that's one seriously fucked up dude. I mean, it seems to me he never got over his mother's death and his father seems to be a real dick. And then he was wrongfully accused of being in some...killing gang or something and stood trial...wow. I mean, I understand why he's a tad off his rocker."
"All true," Severus replied. "So, she told you all that?"
"Yup, and some more."
"Do you think you can help?"
"I'm not sure all the sex toys in the world can help that man, but I did what I could."
"Well thanks. I'm glad you tried at least."
"I made a lot of money."
"Do I need to find a Goblin to smelt something?" he joked.
"Ha! No, no, she bought out of the catalog. See, the issue with him is all mental, and from what she told me, he's a classic follower. He's so not a leader."
"Hmm...no, he's not now that you mention it."
"But what's bad is, he thinks he is. He thinks he's some type-A personality, when really, he's a born follower. He needs to be led. He needs to be dominated."
"Oh no," Severus groaned.
"Oh yes, so the key is to make him think he's leading, but in the name of all things holy, do not let that man lead for nothing!"
"Okay," Severus chuckled.
"So, I suggested some bondage type stuff, which they've done in the past, but in the past, he was the dominant one, and see, now, he's still trying to be, and he's so not succeeding."
"Um, okay."
"See, now this is key, she needs to totally dominate him and well...he needs to be her bitch!"
Severus couldn't help but erupt with laughter at the verbiage Kathleen used. She laughed along with him as Severus shook his head.
"Yeah! She needs to tie him up and fuck the shit out of that man. Blindfold him, beat the crap out of him."
"She's done that before, I mean, beat the crap out of him."
"Not since having the baby, he won't let her. She needs to force him to submit to her. So I sold her some stuff that should make that happen."
"Well, that's great, thanks!"
"And...he needs a good milking of the prostate!"
"Oh, oh no...no, no, no," Severus whined while clenching his eyes.
"Oh, oh yes...yes, yes, yes, that man is too uptight. He needs a serious release. He needs to come like it's the Fourth of July!"
"The what?"
"Um...Bank Holiday or Boxing Day or whatever you call it here," she pressed on as Severus tried to remove the image of a strap-on anywhere near Lucius from his mind. "So yes, I sold her a strap-on!" she giggled.
"Oh no..."
"Oh yes! Yes I did! What? Not a big one!"
"He'll never agree to it!"
"She'll have him wrapped around her finger, and then her strap-on, after all the other stuff I sold her," she said as Severus chuckled. "See, he's fucked in the head, and now he'll be fucked in the ass!"
"Jesus Christ you're crass."
"I know, it's a gift!" she exclaimed with a proud smile. "In all seriousness, the role of the submissive is actually a really complex one. See, in fact, they are, in a sense, in charge."
"How the hell is being tied up and raped up the arse by your wife in charge?"
"Because silly, you're granting them permission in the first place! Whenever you want it to end, you have the power to end it! The dominant person actually is at the submissive's will," she explained as Severus began to see the logic in her thinking. "And I know what you're thinking," she said as he looked surprised. "You want to know if I'm like this?"
"The question has crossed my mind."
"Not really. I'm more of a meat and potatoes kind of girl."
"But I'm a vegetarian," Severus joked.
"I mean, I like plain, good old fashioned sex. A few little toys here and there aren't so bad, but I just like...well...a man I'm attracted to and...well...just sex."
"I think we have that in common, only with women for me."
"Of course," she said with a wink. "So we'll have to just wait and see if your friend gets all...fixed."
"I hope so. I don't want to think about it though."
"I don't blame you," she smiled. She moved in closer and laid her head on his shoulder. He moved his head to lean against hers and the two sat, silent, holding hands while staring at the fire.