A/N: Okay so everyone cheer, I will actually be keeping a promise of mine! Everything will be up either by Wednesday or Thursday. However, this weekend I'm going to have to do some major writing, which is no problem because I've finally got some time, lol. But this past week I just changed around all of my ideas for the next fic, so I have to completely trash what I had down for a first chapter. You guys will like it better than my original plan...let's just say the TV show will be another theme in the next one too...but it's not going to be one that's already made on TV right now, it'll be original. (Unless it's out there somewhere and I don't know about it, but I doubt it, at least I hope, lol). Anyhoo, I hope you guys enjoy these last few chapters of The Bachelor. There are 44 total.

Chapter Forty-Two Part Two

Tommy,

There are some things you need to know before the finale tomorrow. I wish that I could say this in person, but we both know with Jeff that it would be next to impossible.

Tommy read the first few lines of the letter he found in his pocket, immediately knowing who it was from. Suddenly he realized why Jude refused to give him eye contact when she left, evidence of crying clearly written on her face.

First, let me just say that these past two months have been the best (and worst) times of my life. The best when we were together, the worst when I caused you hurt and pain. I want you to know that hurting you is the very last thing I wanted to do. I hope that by the end of this letter you will understand why.

When I first came to this mansion, believe it or not, I pretty much despised you. BoyzAttack, to say the least, was not one of my favorite bands. I had the notion that you were just another celebrity player with all money and no heart. And of course the fact that my sister was literally obsessed with you only added to my theory. But all that changed when I met you.

Tommy felt the corners of his mouth tug upward slightly, remembering the first day he met her. That was an incredible day for Tommy, and frustrating too. He was drawn to her, for reasons he was still finding out every day. Even if he didn't know it then, as soon as he met Jude there was no more contest. The show might as well of been over before it began.

There was just something about you I couldn't seem to get away from. I was thrilled and terrified when you cornered me that first night in my room. I couldn't quite shake the fact that you used to be in a boy band, and that you were about to date 20 other girls, one of which my sister. Still, in the back of my mind I knew there was something different about you, something that could've potentially thrown my image of you out the window. And it did.

It scared me to think that someone I had put so much emotion into hating could be a person I could love. However, back then I never even dared to say I liked you let alone love you. So I pushed you away. I tried to distance myself in the beginning, thinking that my feelings would eventually vanish and when my sister got voted off so would I. But it didn't work quite like that for a number of reasons. The majority of the reasons focused around me trying to protect myself and what I thought I stood for. However, there is one reason that changed everything, and is the purpose of me writing this letter.

Tommy's brow creased with intrigue. He tried not to get worried, but the tone of the letter, the flashbacks, and the image of Jude crying flitted through his mind. It felt almost as if she was trying…to say goodbye.

Through this whole competition you may have wondered why it was that the contestants were told to bring a female guest with them for their stay. I had wondered that too, until Jeff held a meeting with all of the contestant's guests one of the first nights I came here. I don't have much time left before I have to leave, so I'll try to say this as quickly as I can.

Jeff explained to us that when there were only 10 contestant's left the 10 girls that came with them would get a spot on the show, with the opportunity to date you. However, the catch was that we could not win in the technical terms of what the show entailed. Our game was to hold a different kind of prize. We were to compete for you in the same way as the others, but if you were to choose one of those ten girls we could not accept your proposal. Instead we were to receive $1,000,000 in prize money. That night we were inclined to sign a contract, binding us to the agreements that he presented. We were told that if we spoke to anyone about what was to happen or break the rules in any way, we would be sued for the same amount as the prize money.

This caused me to panic, to say the least. I had already developed feelings for you that I was still trying to fight, and now it looked as if I might have the chance the win the million dollars. You may be wondering why that was such a problem for me, why I wouldn't have wanted the million dollars. But money means absolutely nothing to me. Sure I make a lot of money through my line of work, but it's the music that keeps me going, not the money. So that night I devised a "plan", I guess you could call it. I decided that no matter what, I couldn't be on the show. So I tried to push away from you even further, wanting you to think that I didn't want to be with you. If everything would've gone to plan, you would've hated me and sent Sadie home and me along with her. However that's not how the story went.

I fell in love with you. Despite my better judgment, or perhaps maybe lack of judgment, I fell in love with you. My "plan" fell to ruins and now I had the problem of the show to worry about. Back then the thought of telling you about Jeff was a nonsensical risk I didn't need to take. But the times have changed, and I wish I would've told you sooner.

Tommy wasn't quite sure what emotion was coursing through his system at the moment. Was it anger? Hurt? Betrayal? All of them seemed relevant, but none seemed to portray what his heart was going through.

You may also be wondering why it was that I was the only girl to come into the show. I'm guessing that's because Jeff discovered our relationship through the video tapes and thought it would create more scandal than ten women you've never really talked to. I never knew I was to be the only one joining the show until that day, and I was terrified. I felt like a slut when the tapes played, ruining moments I once held so close. Then you looked at me and I couldn't stand the anger I knew would be there.

Nevertheless, it happened and the prize for me still remains the same. Bottom line: if you choose me, you can't have me. If I don't take the million dollars I get sued or blackmailed, probably both, and Jeff will still interfere and not let us be together (another part of the contract is that if I do take the money, we can't have a relationship out of the show for a fixed period of time that I don't think will bring us any relief). If I do take it, then I lose you anyway.

I know it may seem simple for me to just say screw Jeff and not take it, but I think you know deep down that's not the way it will happen. Plus, I have my music to think about as well. I can't stand up to a million dollar law suit. Not when I don't have that kind of money yet and am legally bound into the contract I violated.

Please know that if I could have it my way, I would be with you for as long as you would let me. But things haven't ever gone according to plan, and I'm not sure they ever will.

Tommy didn't like the way this letter was turning. Slowly, bit by bit he could feel his heart tearing. He never knew the pain would be this fierce. He didn't want to read what he knew the next paragraph would say.

So do me this favor. Don't pick me tomorrow on camera. I don't want to walk away with a million dollars when I could have walked away with you, if the circumstances were different. Rachel is an amazing girl, despite my previous feelings, and I'm sure she would be delighted to have you as her boyfriend or fiancé, whichever you decide.

I didn't want you going into the finale without knowing the real situation. It's not fair to you. I also hope you understand why I may have seemed so distant and have pushed you away previously.

I have to ask one last favor before I go. Please do not approach Jeff about this. I know you, and I don't want you doing anything rash. It won't help the situation and could possibly make it worse if he knows you found out, especially from me. That's all I ask.

Okay, I really have to leave now. Jeff will be coming up soon to take Rachel and I to the spa, according to Haley. So this is my real goodbye before the finale tomorrow, Tom, and I want you to know that you have changed me in ways I never thought possible. I will forever be grateful towards you. Thank you for all the wonderful moments we shared and I hope that you have good life. I love you.

Jude

"Hope that you have a good life," Tommy repeated quietly in his room. He placed his head in his hands and closed his eyes trying to cut off the pain that was creeping behind his eyes and in his head.

Hope that you have a good life? So she really wants to end this doesn't she…she's not even willing to wait? At least now I know where her priorities are: Pleasing Jeff, Music, then me. Isn't that great to find out the night before I have to choose a fiancé?

Tommy became restless and jumped out of his chair, pacing back and forth through his room. The sum dimmed outside, casting shadows over the corners of the black and gray room. How appropriate the color seemed to suit him now, he thought. Thinking back through the lines of the letter he couldn't help but curse, most of the profanities being directed towards Jeff.

He also couldn't help but think that if it wasn't for Jeff's twisted dramatic mind he would be proposing to Jude tomorrow. Suddenly his eyes shifted towards the top right drawer of his desk. He didn't need to open it to know that Jude's ring was lying just beyond the oak. Jude's ring, not Rachel's.

He couldn't even conceive the thought of giving it to another woman, to look into Rachel's eyes and tell her the things that should be said to Jude, and only Jude. No, he couldn't do it. Damn you Jeff…you trick me once, shame on you. You trick me twice, I'll kick the crap out of you until I wipe that imperious, egotistic smile right off your face and stick it up your ass.

Sinking down to the bed, Tommy stared out his window. The sun was just blanketing over the horizon, illuminating the sea with a soft orange that reflected over the water. The pool on the deck was still, not a ripple or a breeze to cause disruption. Why was it that the world could be at such peace and serenity while Tommy felt it crumbling beneath him?

Falling onto the bed, Tommy stared at the white ceiling, its blankness a mirror to his emotions. He thought back over the times since he met Jude for the millionth time that night, dissecting every detail until he reached a certain level of understanding, as much he could allow anyway. It started to make sense, the way her eyes longed for him yet she physically pushed him away. Time after time the same exact cycle repeated: She had feelings for him she couldn't ignore, she let herself act on them, she feels guilty because of Jeff, and she pushes Tommy away. Just like that, one two three four. Over and fucking over again until something like this comes along to break it.

Tommy closed his eyes to try to clear his thoughts, but a picture of Jude flashed against his eyelids. Shooting them open he cursed himself, once again wondering how the hell he was going to deal with proposing to another girl. It was almost unthinkable. He would be cheating not only Jude, but himself from happiness. Rachel was a nice girl, and perhaps in the past he might've dated her for a while, but things were different now.

Frustration was the next emotion to flood through him. Pushing himself off the bed he grabbed her letter and stormed out of the room spontaneously. He knew where he was heading, and the danger of it only pumped more adrenaline through his veins, and more anger. Determination held in his eyes as he flew down the stairs and through the hallways, his heart pulsating heavily with each stride. Tommy could almost hear the sound of it against his chest as he knocked heavily on the door in front of him.

Only one thought was focused in his mind: If Jude isn't going to fight for her own happiness, then I'll fight for mine.