Worst. Day. Ever. Annie thought to herself as she did a face plant into the inviting warmth that was her bed. There wasn't one good part of the day that she could think of. It had started bad, the middle had been bad and the only bright side she could think of was that it would be ending soon, so really how much worse could it get. She still couldn't get over the fact that she had lied to Silver. Her best friend. She had lied to her out of fear. The fear of potential rejection and humiliation.
Annie groaned into her pillow in frustration. She was a chicken shit and a liar. She wished it would all just go away, the feelings, the confusion, the anger, the sadness. Having these feelings for Silver was too much; she didn't know how to handle them. She wanted to tell Silver but just didn't know how to articulate it. She wanted to be around her all the time but then she knew she couldn't. She wanted to kiss her and gently stroke her hair but knew she shouldn't. She wanted to tell Silver exactly how she felt about her but then she knew she wouldn't.
On the verge of tears Annie jumped out of bed deciding now was the perfect time for…ice cream. Annie quietly padded through the upstairs hallway. Dixon was at work, her Grandmother was out with the "girls", and she hadn't thought her parents were home but there were voices drifting down the hallway. Quietly walking to the outside of her parents closed bedroom door Annie stood and listened.
"Harry how could you do this to me…how could you do this to us?" Debbie whispered in a pained voice.
"Honey please you have to let me explain it was a long time ago." Harry started desperately.
"Don't even." It was a steeled whisper.
"Debbie please…" Harry's plea went unfinished.
"No…you have a child with another woman, a son you neglected to tell me and this family about. You meet with her in secret Harry…in secret. It's only human to want to connect with your child… I'm absolutely crushed that you thought I wouldn't understand. It physically hurts my heart that you thought that about me. Then to find out that the two of you kissed. I just…"
"Debbie please…I was scared." It was the truth.
The tears were falling now. They were streaming down Annie's face. Over the hand that was clasped tightly over her mouth to stop any escape of sound that would give her presence away. It couldn't be true, her father wouldn't do that. He wouldn't lie to them. He wouldn't lie to the people he loves. The tears streamed harder and Annie fought for air as the realization struck. Her Father could and he did lie because she had done the exact same thing herself. Lies hurt people. Being lied to always hurts worse than hearing the truth. Always.
She needed to get out. She needed to escape, to get as far away from here as possible. Silently running down the stairs Annie quickly laced up her sneakers and flew out the door. The rain was icy cold against her over heated flesh. She just ran into the darkness. There were no stars or moon because the sky was too cloudy. She didn't want to think anymore. God when had life gotten so complicated. It seemed like just yesterday she was dressing up with her best friends and putting on Spice Girl concerts for her parents and now this.
Every muscle in her body protested but she kept running, because with every step she took her mind cleared a little more. Everything came into a sharper focus. It was like she was opening her eyes for the very first time. She knew what she wanted to do, where she wanted to be at this very moment. Heaving in a laboured breath Annie decided that maybe the rain wasn't so bad after all.
Kelly stood silently at Silver's door, the poor kid had been moping around the house the entire night; nothing could cheer her up. "Hey Silver I just dropped Sammy off at Mr. and Mrs. Walsh's and then I'm going to go catch Brenda's play…you wanna come with?" Kelly asked waving the tickets through the door way.
"Nah Kel…but thanks for asking. I think I'm just gonna hang here and do some homework." Silver said without bothering to raise her head off the pillow.
Kelly pushed her way through the door and sat on the edge of Silver's bed running a hand soothingly across Silver's shoulder. "I'm here if you want to talk honey…about anything." Kelly said quietly, knowingly, as she continued to stroke Silver's shoulder.
Silver rolled over to face Kelly eyes shining bright with unshed tears. The only thing that kept them from falling was stubbornness. "You know don't you?" Silver whispered the question already knowing the answer. Of course she knew she'd studied freakin' psychology and was a god damn guidance councillor if anyone was bound to figure it out it would be Kelly.
"Sometimes it helps to talk about it." Smooth and understanding, no pressure at all. Kelly's voice had always had a calming affect on Silver, even as a baby.
"She chose Kel, what else can I do." Silver said in a deflated tone
"So you told her how you felt about her and she said that she didn't feel the same way?" Kelly asked knowing that there had to be more to the story than just that.
"Well not exactly…no…It was kinda more I gave her an opening about the party, you know, and she wouldn't look at me like she was ashamed or something and then she told me she didn't remember…So yeah she's choosing NOT me." Silver finished on a huff of breath.
"So you didn't tell her how you felt about her at all." It was a simple question, a simple question with a simple answer.
"No."
"Sweetie, Annie is many things but she is not a mind reader, Silver honey look at me…" Kelly waited until teary blue eyes met her own, "It's scary falling in love, no matter who it's with. It's never easy, never. But you have to take chance, you have to tell her how you feel because you'll never know unless you say something and it's always better to know." Kelly said with the knowledge and experience of someone who knew exactly what she was talking about.
Silver chuckled. Kelly made it sound so simple. Tell her and then you'll know for sure. Laughter erupted full force. It was that simple. Wrapping her arms around Kelly she planted a sloppy kiss on her sister's cheek. "Thanks Kel I totally owe you one." Silver said giving Kelly a final squeeze.
"Let's just call it even… you know for that wisdom you shared last night. So are you sure you don't wanna come see Brenda's play its going to be amazing." Kelly said playfully hitting Silver with the tickets.
"Nah I'm sure…you're on your own tonight sis…well you do look hot so don't be staying out too late with Brenda cause I'll be waiting up." Silver said in a mocking tone.
"You really think I look hot?" Kelly said as she spun around.
"Just go now or you're gonna miss curtain." Silver said laughing as her sister looked down at her watch and ran out of her room. "Kel don't forget your rain coat. It is not letting up at all."
In her mad dash to the car in precarious heels Kelly missed the small shadow of someone huddling on her porch. Annie stood silently watching Kelly run to her car. She had heard Silver's melodic laughter following Kelly out the door. Sisters, she'd never know that bond because she had two brothers. The thought made the anger boil up again, he'd lied to her. That's why she was here, she wasn't going to lie to someone she loves, she wasn't going to lie to Silver anymore, she was going to make this right. Stepping under the porch light and knocking three times Annie waited, breath held tightly in her chest and heart pounding in her ears.
The door swung open. Long tanned legs in white boxer shorts, purple LA Lakers shirt, hair piled loosely on the top of her head in a messy bun with bangs sweeping to the side. Silver. Annie knew she was doing the right thing. The breath she had been holding in rushed out with a whoosh. She opened her mouth to speak but Silver beat her to it.
"Oh my God Annie you're soaking wet, come on get in side and warm up…" Silver said as she ushered Annie inside. "Here let me get you a towel and some dry clothes…just umm well anything you can find that's clean you can wear and here's the towel." Silver said handing Annie the big fluffy towel as she shut the door to her room, leaving Annie to change and dry off.
Emerging from Silver's room dry and warm, in red plaid boxer shorts and a black hoodie Annie made her way to the living room where Silver was waiting with two cups of hot chocolate. Sitting down beside her Annie waited. The room was completely silent. Turning to look at Silver Annie opened her mouth at the exact same time as Silver.
"We need to talk." The two voices were indistinguishable, melding together as one.