"Hope is a good thing, maybe the best of things, and no good thing ever dies.," - The Shawshank Redemption (movie)

"She loves me all that she can,
And her ways to my ways resign;
But she was not made for any man,
And she never will be all mine." - Edna St. Vincent Millay (writer)

………………

Inuyasha's ears flattened against his head not from the rain now falling at a steady pace, but at the scene that met him when he returned to his camp. The fire was being smothered and a black smoke rose from the burning wood. Shippo eyes were taking a glassy sheen as tears filled them; Sango was blocking the rain with her Hiraikotsu, Miroku sat with his staff under a tree, and Kagome was no-where to be found…

"Where's Kagome?" Inuyasha asked with a tinge of worry and guilt. Sango just sighed and shook her head, Miroku shrugged his shoulders and leaned against a tree by their campsite, and Shippo sniffled loudly before flopping on his tiny stomach.

"She just left without telling us where she was going. Sesshomaru followed her, but then he came back and took away Rin and that green guy. But, Kagome never came back…" Shippo choked out teary-eyed.

Inuyasha tensed at the mention of his half-brother's name, and a feeling of dread followed. Where was Kagome? Had his brother done something to her? Inuyasha let out a menacing growl as his hands began clenching and un-clenching.

"Why aren't we doing anything? Kagome could be in danger!" Inuyasha howled at the group, but all they did was blink their eyes at him and looked back into the dying fire. A voice came out to break the silence that had taken hold of the campsite.

"Well, that's surprising that you even care," came a quiet voice from the trees, "Since you left us behind and even said 'he'd never hurt us'"

Kagome walked out from the trees. She was drenched from the rain that had fallen earlier, which was now calming down back to a drizzle. Her black hair lay down in glittering straight wisps having been patted down from the rain and other things… Inuyasha felt his guilt grow stronger at the sight of the soaked Kagome.

"Kagome, I…" but Inuyasha's words died in his mouth as Kagome swept past him, ignoring his words. She stepped over to her soggy back-pack that the rain had left marred as well. She began to heft it onto her shoulder and walked over to Sango. Inuyasha had an idea of where this was going.

"Listen Kagome, I know you're upset that I left. But, please don't leave, because of me. I promise I'll make it up to you…" a slim finger was brought to Inuyasha lips, that wasn't his own. He had been put to silence a new way by her. Kagome's eyes held a fiery blaze, yet there was something else there too. She'd never looked so serious before.

"Shut up! Just shut your damn mouth. I know how much you wished that my whole world should revolve around you, but it doesn't. My life does not go around everything you do. I refuse for it to. The reason I'm leaving is not, because of you…" She bit out coldly.

Kilala transformed to her other form in a fiery swoop. Kagome's eyes had hardened in a deep blue, and the others had been hushed by her words. Kagome hopped onto the great cat-like beast and told her the words to take her home. Inuyasha merely watched this un-fold as his eyes became glazed in confusion.

"If not for me…than for who?" he questioned allowed.

……………….

Her tears were warm upon her face, yet the rain around her was so cold. She was taken aback by seeing what she currently felt in the eyes of the one in front of her. He looked to be a creature surrounded with an icy shell, yet there was warmth in his eyes somewhere; although, there appeared to be a sadness as well. A sadness that was thought to be held only by those with humanity. He proved those thoughts wrong with his solemn amber eyes.

"You know how I feel…" Kagome said softly as her lips quivered from the mixture of engulfing anguish and the realization that somehow he knew. Perhaps this was the reason he could read her like a book; perhaps this reason was because he knew how she felt long before her feelings started.

"Miko, I know many things. Yet, I have to say this is the one that I usually try to avoid, for it haunts the recesses of mind in ways that you can scarcely imagine. I suppose you could call it a weakness. A weakness that hides in the shadows and taunts me when I least expect," Sesshomaru said in a contemplative tone.

"What…Who was she?" Kagome asked in a tone filled with both curiosity and meekness. His gaze flew to the sky with no worries of the raindrops falling into his eyes. She wondered if this is how a man of greatness cries. Does he let the heavens cry for him? His eyes seemed to be looking past the clouds after her question.

"She was…something I couldn't entirely grasp in the beginning. To me, she was something that was filled with happiness that someone like her shouldn't possess. She'd always seem to take something simple and make it the most valuable treasure. Her eyes were filled with light. Even though everyone around her ignored her existence or cursed her for her existence, she'd just open her arms to greet them with the love of the world she held. She was an enigma…" he said with a hint of affection that made Kagome's heart warm with a feeling that was foreign to her, or so she thought.

"Was she…beautiful?" Kagome asked, growing slightly more confident in her questioning and growing more in curiosity. A ghost of a smile came to his face as the rain streaked down his striped cheeks in tiny streams. Kagome had gone back down to sit upon her rock and watched the god-like creature before her being doused by the falling rain in such a glorious way it caught a breath in her throat.

"I suppose she was, yet no-one around her would admit, even I. She was something rare at the least. She was beautiful in that she was different. Of course, her differences also made her life harder," he spoke softer now. Kagome bit her lip as she thought of her next question. She brought her knees back up and under her chin. For some reason, this position made her comfortable.

"Did you…" Kagome stopped with slight hesitation but continued, "Did you ever tell her your feelings?"

She took a sharp intake of breath as Sesshomaru's eyes fell back to hers. He stepped towards her slowly and his eyes were filled with a pained look. She struck a cord hard in him, and it was reverberating in the whole area.

"I believe it is time I questioned you, Kagome…" he spoke in a low voice. Kagome's heart nearly leapt in her throat as her name left his mouth. It sounded so…odd and different leaving his lips. He was in front of her now. A towering being of glorified brilliance and it was intensified by the way the rain glistened upon his clothes.

"Do you know what it's like to love something you shouldn't? To love someone that others look down upon and ridicule, and would have those people utterly disown me for loving?" his hand came to rest on her cheek.

His hand slid up her cheek and was buried into her onyx hair. Kagome shivered, but she did not know if it was from his touch or from the cold feeling of her damp clothes. His eyes appeared to be searching for something. She wondered if she should respond to his questions, yet she was afraid she didn't have the answers. His face drew near as his hand swept back further into her black locks.

"At first, I had thought the worst thing in this world was to not be able to hold the person you love, because mentally you were not ready... But now, I've found something worse than that. For even if I wanted to hold anyone I may love…I can't" he said with such melancholy, that. Kagome stopped breathing. Her eyes fell to where Sesshomaru's other arm should be.

"Do not pity me Kagome…" he said as her eyes met his, "the only thing I wish for you to do is breathe me,"

Before she could question what he meant, his head lowered to meet hers like the time so many weeks ago. She was hoping someone would come and stop this, yet at the same time she wanted it to go on. His deep golden eyes locked onto hers as his angelic lips descended upon her peach colored lips.

The kiss was bitter-sweet. She could taste the pure water-droplets that had collected on their lips along with her salted tears. She could feel the soft smooth feeling of his lips against her rough dry cracked ones. It was a passionate moment between two broken souls. It was a high esteemed being bestowing on a lowly human a taste of poison that would wound her heart in the end. It was something so good, yet all things must come to an end…

Their mouths broke apart as Sesshomaru slowly pulled his hand out of Kagome's hair. His amber orbs were half-lidded as he gazed at her. His one hand lay upon her cheek as thunder crackled in the back-round. Water drizzled down her face and began to collect in his hand as he watched her face that held such bewilderment. She was confused and he knew this, for he confused himself with the action as well. His hand slid off her face to land beside his side as he stood up straight.

"Why…" Kagome inquired timidly as her head lifted up to look upon Sesshomaru's face. He stayed quiet for a moment. The wind blew again, scattering the wet clinging leaves in fluttering chaos. His gold eyes shined for a moment from the lightning that lit up the sky before dulling down.

"I do not know," he answered truthfully. Kagome tried blinking the water droplets that were blurring her vision. She breathed in deeply thinking about something. Her eyes traveled across his face again and she shyly started bringing up a petite hand to his cheek, but he pulled back. Her hand retreated back to place itself on her chest as she put her head down. Her question came anyway.

"Do…do you love me?" Kagome asked with something akin to hope in her eyes. Seeing that look in her eyes caused Sesshomaru to falter. He had to look away from her or the look alone would crush him. He'd seen that look in someone's eyes long ago, and if he looked into those blue orbs it would eat away at his very being. He turned his back on her, so that all that faced her were his sopping white robes.

"No…" he answered emotionlessly. He let the ice fall back into place. He hoped the chilling rain would solidify the cracks in his mask that the girl behind him had tried to pick away at without realizing. He couldn't risk stripping another being of all they had again. It was the one thing he shared with the girl, he supposed. They both found it so much easier to run away…

………………………

It had been a day in passing, since he left his half-brother's group. He saw the way his ward seemed saddened by the loss of her new 'friends'. The young girl had merely asked him an innocent question, but that question made him decide it was time to take a break in their travels. He had asked Jaken to watch the girl as he headed off on his own for a bit. Normally a break for a great demon lord as him was un-heard of, if it was not following some sort of battle; although, perhaps there was a battle, just not on the outside.

A rock in the hot-spring shifted and plopped into the water, causing water droplets to splash onto Sesshomaru's feet. His metal armor tumbled to the ground and he began to tug at the sash around his waist with one hand. His robes slowly slipped from his shoulders to reveal the flawless pale skin underneath; and soon more and more pieces of clothing followed afterward.

His honey-colored eyes glanced at the water where he met his reflection. Elegant looking straight hair lay past his bare shoulders. He slowly raised his clawed hand and placed it on his muscled chest; and he slowly slid it down his front till his hand rested on his sculpted abdomen. He sniffed at the image of his own body. He was almost perfect, except for one flaw…

"It is of a minor inconvenience, and it can not be helped," Sesshomaru found the words slip from his mind and out of his mouth. His claws tapped along his stomach as he sighed from his troubled thoughts. His physical appearance had not ever bothered him before, until the mentioning of what he could not do.

His face contorted into a tiny frown, but his face shifted back to how it normally would look a second later. His feet dipped into the water and he gradually wadded deeper into the hot-spring. Soon enough, the steaming waters reached the maroon stripes on his thighs. One clawed-fingertip grazed against the water as he thought to himself.

His long tone legs carried him to a slightly more shallow part of the spring so he could sit down. With each step he took, his foot would meet the sandy bottom of the spring in a soft squish. Sesshomaru set his back onto a smooth boulder behind him as he laid himself out onto the spring floor in a more comfortable position.

While his body felt content in its surroundings; his mind was elsewhere and it wasn't the happiest of places. It was a place filled with pain and lost love. It was a place filled with his guilt and lost dreams. It was a place with regret and inner-anguish. It was a place of disenchantment and lost innocence. It was a place with a loss of hope…

………

At the age he was now, he was just learning how to hide his emotions. His father told him it was his best defense. Never let your enemy know what you're thinking. That was the key to success. During this current moment in time, as he stood by his mother while looking upon the scene before him, it wasn't to hard to not let them know what he was thinking; because he wasn't entirely sure himself.

A tall well-poised man stood beside his father, as they discussed over something. The man was an elemental demon, a lesser lord in is fathers lands, whom was a dear friend to his father. His name was Roka, which fit his element water, white crest of the wave. His eyes were a deep sea green and his black hair was tinted blue. The object of their discussion stood beside Roka.

She didn't seem nearly as tall as he was, yet she looked about his age. Her eyes were like different depths of water, shimmering from deep green to blue. Unlike her father Roka, her hair was golden like the sun with tints of blue. A tiny tear-drop mark lay under her eye to prove her heritance. Sesshomaru found her lovely…

"A hanyou, that's surprising…" his mother, Luna said lower than a whisper, as she eyed the girl with a risen brow. Sesshomaru blinked at the foreign word, although it had been muttered several times since the arrival of Roka and his daughter. It always bothered him greatly when curiosity grasped him about something. What ever could this word mean?

"Mother, what is a hanyou?" Sesshomaru asked innocently. A dozen pairs of eyes fell to him, after he asked his question. His mother's small clawed hand gripped firmly on his shoulder. His father had looked over with a look of annoyance and disappointment; he could feel his mother's embarrassment. Sesshomaru was confused by this.

"What…" Sesshomaru began to question, before he caught sight of Roka's daughter staring at him intently. She seemed slightly saddened by something, yet her eyes sparkled with the same curiosity he felt. A few stifled snickers came from the people in the court, but his father's eyes pierced through them; telling them to silence.

That is when Roka's daughter began to approach Sesshomaru with tiny timid steps. The silence in the room increased as she tilted her head to the side to observe Sesshomaru, tiny tendrils of hair fell over her shoulder as she did so. Sesshomaru left his mother's hold to walk towards her.

There was something different about her. She smelt different…Not that she smelt bad, yet her scent was mixed together with something peculiar. Her natural scent was absolutely lovely. It smelt of ocean breeze and wild flowers. Although, the mystery behind her scent came back again. Could he smell human upon her?

"Hello…" she spoke lightly as her eyes met Sesshomaru. He came closer to her, taking her hand in his bringing it up to his lips. Placing a light kiss upon her hand as was customary upon first meeting a lady of some higher social status. A gasp filled the courtroom, yet he had no idea why.

"My lady, it's good to meet you,"

………

He had found out throughout the years, what a hanyou was. It was what she was… Roka's daughter had come to stay with them after the day of their first meeting. The discussion Roka and his father had had was about protecting Roka's daughter. Roka had known that his father was powerful and could do well to see through with her protection.

Even though she was born of a high ranking father, she was treated as a servant. His father had not wished of such a thing for the poor girl, but the other servants had refused to her. She was thought to not be worthy of their attentions. She was a half-breed, not even worthy enough to have youkai blood running through her.

Sesshomaru's father tried instructing them on treating the girl fairly, but when his father's back was turned, the torture began. The people in the palace made sure not to harm her physically, but rather mentally. Ever since the first day they met, Sesshomaru had been bothered by everyone about what he had done when greeting her. They drove him to where he began to regret it, and then he started to avoid her more and more. Sadly, he even forgot her name; the only one that called her by her true name was his father and mother.

Yet, even though the world seemed to shun her; she smiled back at the world. A smile even lay on her face even after the few times the people tortured physically. At first, Sesshomaru believed her to be crazy; but as time began to pass by, he began to realize that she truly just loved the world.

It was as she worshipped the wind, the sky, the birds, the heavens, the trees, the leaves, and the rain… It is expected of most elementals to embrace themselves in their element, but she was different. She was only half of an elemental, but she managed to embrace everything without worry. It was what attracted him to her…

Sesshomaru watched her from afar. He soaked in the warmth that surrounded her being. He always wondered if she knew of his far-away gaze. At one point, he was sure she noticed, for he had begun to receive tiny gifts from her.

She never gave them in person. He would just always find them lying upon his bed in his sleeping quarters, most likely after she cleaned them. They were never anything entirely special. We he had received the first gift; he hadn't even known still he smelt her scent on it. The first had been a tiny flower. The tiny flower had almost been crushed by his small hand when he retrieved it from the bed. Her scent was the thing that stopped his form simply disposing the small plant.

The most recent of her little tokens was a piece of cloth with a cloud sewn into it. His mother had been teaching the girl to sew in secret. The only reason he knew this, was because he watched her now with his mother. She carefully took the thimble in her hand and gently picked up a piece of cloth as his mother instructed. Suddenly, she stopped her movements. Sesshomaru froze as her eyes met his; it was as if she had sensed his presence. A miniscule smile came upon her face.

…………

His mother was gone. She had left him without saying good-bye. She was gone from this world, and there was no coming back. A strange illness had taken hold of her, and she died. The first accusation of the sickness had fallen on the half-breed girl. They blamed her ruthlessly for the death of the queen. Yet, Sesshomaru did not believe them. He knew the girl would never wish death upon his mother, for after hearing the news he saw her weep for the first time.

Throughout all she had gone through. Throughout all the tortures physically and mentally thrust upon her, she had never cried. Even when it seemed that no-one loved the girl, not a tear spilled from the girls eyes. Yet, she had cried for his mother, and it was another thing that made him believe she had not done it.

On this night that his mother died, the sky was ruthless. It seemed he was not along in his grief; the angels seemed to be crying with him. The moon shone through the leaves, and the night air chilled the pouring rain more. Sesshomaru had run away from the castle. He had wished to avoid everyone and everything. He was trained hard not to look weak, but tonight he had to break this rule.

"Sesshomaru…" came her quiet voice. Her voice was so light, from not being used often. She rarely talked to him, but then again he usually ignored her. Yet, there was a reason he ignored her; and it was not the reason everyone else chose to ignore her. However, on this night, it was time for him to speak. The reason if this speaking was merely to silence her again, he supposed.

"Hanyou, I wish not to talk on this night," Sesshomaru tried speaking coolly, but the roughened tone of his voice gave away the pain he was feeling. She began to step towards him as tears slid down her face, or was it the rain? Maybe, it was both. She looked to be an angel as she approached him.

"I'm terribly sorry," she said as her eyes gleamed a deep green from the moonlight. Sesshomaru stood up from his spot. He walked towards her slowly and stopped in front of her. He was unsure of what to say. Looking into her eyes he saw something that bothered him. He was taken aback. She had never taken the words of the people before, yet her eyes told him she truly believed she'd killed his mother.

"There is nothing to apologize for, you have done something wrong," Sesshomaru said as he gazed at her with golden ambers eyes. He saw as her body relaxed itself with relief and she gave a weary smile. He was surprised. Was his acceptance of her, all she needed to determine the truth?

Her eyes turned to the sky and a tiny breath left her mouth. The moonlight basked her in a heavenly glow, while the rain turned her hair into sheen blue. He realized that he had often seen her embrace the rain the most. He assumed it was because that it was the closest way she could get to her element.

"I've always loved the rain at night. The sky is filled with darkness and the angels are filled with sadness shedding their tears, yet when I see this I know I can make the happy," she said in an airy voice. Sesshomaru's eyebrow quirked at this statement.

"You say you can take something so dark and make it better. Why do you this?" Sesshomaru inquired. Her face turned towards his again. A small smile graced her lips, and he recognized it as the one she used when she knew something he did not.

"Don't you know? My name is Nozomi. It means hope…" she said, her hand reached for Sesshomaru's as she squeezed it tight and looked into his eyes, "Sesshomaru, I want you know I'll always be with you, which means you'll always have hope,"

Sesshomaru realized he loved Nozomi at that moment. He always somewhat knew he loved her. Yet, he could not love her. He would not be able to show that he loved her. He still had to follow his father's rule, and keep Nozomi safe. Nozomi's hand tenderly met Sesshomaru's cheek as she smiled. Yes, after this night, he would start it ignore her again. If only because he loved her…

………………

"My Lord…" croaked a loud raspy voice. Sesshomaru's eyes slowly opened up. He could hear the water rushing passed his ears and feel the warmth of the spring. How very odd. He was not aware he had fallen asleep.

"Jaken, I will return shortly. Please leave me again," Sesshomaru answered. Jaken slowly walked away from the side of the spring. Golden eyes followed his movements, till Jaken was out of sight.

Sesshomaru lifted a claw-hand from the water and moved his fingers as he looked at the wrinkles forming in them from the water. Just how long had he become distracted? Thoughts of the past usually came in short tiny pieces. Yet, on this night he had been assaulted by locked away memories full force.

A saddened look streaked across Sesshomaru's face as one final thought came to him. It was perhaps the whole reason the memories had come. He sighed and swept a hand through his hair, before he prepared to get out of the spring.

"In the end it was my love that killed her, just not the way I expected…"

…………………………

Thank-you again for reading another chapter. I hope you enjoyed this, and yet again I have beaten a whole new record in pages. I hope you continue to read and review. It is through your reviewing, that helps me update faster and make better chapters. . I appreciate everything my readers do. I hope to update soon. Love YA!