"Do I still love you? Absolutely. There is not a doubt in my mind. Through all my mind, my ego... I was always faithful in my love for you. That I made you doubt it, that is the great mistake of a life full of mistakes..." -Life as a House (Movie)

"You can't change the past. What hurts the most is that you can't be in my future," – Unknown

….

Eyes stern and scrutinizing, he watched as the last touches were being added to the project. Sweat slicked the workers bodies as they hefted the blocks. They began ascending up the stone path to the nearly finished castle. It was almost complete.

"Lord Sesshomaru, Inuyama castle is almost done being built. We apologize with the delay, but the rain has been troublesome," one of the workers in charge informed Sesshomaru.

The great Inuyoukai looked to his master-piece nearly a century in the making, and it was almost complete. His people say that it will be a major mark of his rule and a step closer to conquering his empire. The worker noticed Sesshomaru had yet to speak, and began retreating back over to the construction to continue overviewing the other workers.

Sesshomaru let out a sigh as he began to walk the other way. His head was held high which let the silver-like tendrils flutter in the wind. His golden eyes were darkening with each foot-fall as his mind began to wander. His followers saw the castle as a step towards the future, but he found the creation reflecting his past.

"Sesshomaru-sama!" Rin cheered as she rushed over to the demon lord. Her brown eyes were sparkling with happiness and wonder; and a tiny flower was clasped in her hands.

Sesshomaru's gaze fell to Rin's shining face and his clawed hand reached out to pat her head. Rin giggled with glee and waved the tiny flower in the air. She almost looked victorious of something as the tiny flower flopped in her grasp.

"Rin picked this for you Sesshomaru-sama," Rin said as her eyes sparkled with mirth. At this, Sesshomaru let a lone nearly invisible smile shone on his face, yet the smile was a melancholy one. An innocent insignificant blossom could speak volumes of different emotions and thoughts. A flower could tell a powerful story.

"Sesshomaru-sama?" Rin mutter while eyeing her lord with questioning eyes; Sesshomaru focused his attention back onto the girl, "My lord, will your new home have a garden?"

Was there to be a garden? This prospect had never occurred to Sesshomaru before. Then again, he never had a reason to build one. Why would he want to? It had no tactical strategy or back up logic for it. What purpose would it serve?

"I imagine there will be no garden," Sesshomaru finally answered, as they began walking away from the construction. When his eyes fell back to his ward, she seemed disappointed with his answer. The young girl huffed and started skipping up ahead of Sesshomaru. Her bare feet pounded against the ground.

Some odd feeling crept over Sesshomaru's body, and crawled through his skin like a million tiny insects. This feeling unsettled him, yet he wasn't entirely sure what was amiss. He didn't sense anything. His eyes fell back to Rin as she continued walking farther in the woods.

"I love the flowers…" Rin all but whispered. That's when the Great Demon Lord heard it. The sound of flowing water came to Sesshomaru's elf-like ears. Something symbolizing life, but it merely haunted him. His body tensed up and fists clenched.

"Rin go no further…" Sesshomaru seemed to plead while still holding his emotionless mask. She hadn't heard him or pretended not to, and skipped behind the trees to where she could see a pond. The water looked clear and untouched. The little girl smiled and glided her finger on the surface of the water.

Sesshomaru could only stare at the scene dumbfounded as his eyes fell to the pond. His golden orbs widened a miniscule and his heart began to beat rapidly, but still no emotion would etch onto his features. Rin plopped beside the pond and started manipulating the water more.

"Rin I demand you leave this place at once," Sesshomaru said in a commanding voice. He normally wouldn't use this tone with Rin, but he wished to escape this place as soon as possible. This place brought out an emotion within himself that he wasn't normally accustom to, Fear.

"Why must I go Sesshomaru-san?" Rin pouted as she stood up slowly with a bit of a wobble. Sesshomaru merely gave her a cool look while attempting to calm him on the inside. Rin had yet to move from her spot till something caught her eye.

The young girl bounded off to the other edge of the pond. Her eyes glowed with wonder as she bent down to grasp a large stone. Sesshomaru's hand clenched and blood began to trickle down his hand. She lifted it up to show her lord.

"Sesshomaru-sama…" Rin could not say anymore as the great taiyoukai came upon her. Rin's eyes widened. She had never seen her lord so angered.

Sesshomaru's teeth were bared. His eyes were illuminating red. His clawed hand ripped the stone from her tiny hands. Tremors of growls shook him. Rin clasped her hands to her chest and stepped backwards. Never before had she seen him this way; even when they first met he had not been this ferocious.

"Leave my presence at once girl," Sesshomaru growled out gruffly. Rin took his words seriously now, and hurried off into the trees to find Jaken. She was upset, yet she was aware her lord seemed more so.

His iron-like grip on the stone loosened. The great lord appeared to sink down by the pond. In the end, he stood on one knee. His clawed hand released the stone and it fell down to clack against the other rocks. His eyes began to fade into gold. The feeling of fear was gone now and replaced with terrible sadness.

"My walls are held high. My strength will not crumble. My emotions will never be shown for the world to see again, even as you attempt to break me. I merely wonder as to why you mock me even after you are gone..." Sesshomaru spoke softly into the still water of the pond.

….

Light from the window danced on the mirror and sparkled against the glass. Serious stone-like eyes stared back. Armor that barely fit clung to the pristine robes he now wore. His mouth formed a thin line. Sesshomaru did not recognize the person looking back at him from the mirror. A sigh escaped his lips and the person in the mirror disappeared.

"I can't let my enemies know what I'm thinking. The rules are to never show an emotion. Emotions show you have a weakness. I must build my minds defenses up so that none may cross me," Sesshomaru said aloud.

His eyes traveled to a glass vase on a side table by the window. Sun-light rippled on the water in the glass. A single white flower leaned into the side of the vase. The flower was another gift. The thought made Sesshomaru smile. A single petal fell off the flower and floated to the ground.

"I suppose even love won't be able to scale these walls I build either…" Sesshomaru whispered on his lips. His eyes fell from the delicate flower as his expression hardened once more. It was his last preparation before stepping out his chamber door.

Foot-step by foot-step the young lord glided down the hall. Servants scattered as he passed them. Fear was a tool he was unaccustomed to. He only wished for respect rather than fear, but he supposed that would come with time. After a while of walking down the seemingly endless hallway, Sesshomaru found the first servant that hadn't run away.

She was hunched over the floor with a scrub brush in her hand and a bucket full of water by her side. Even as her golden hair shaded her face, he knew she was content as a smile graced her face with each splash of water. She put effort into every stroke of the brush onto the hard floor. She paused in her work to look up at Sesshomaru with her dazzling eyes, which caused his own eyes to soften at the sight.

"How sweet that my presence causes your emotions to shine for me, my darling," an unctuous somewhat unfamiliar voice cooed. Sesshomaru's view of Nozomi; was now blocked by something…

His golden eyes narrowed and he stepped back slightly. His gaze fell to the synthetic creature before him. Sadly, the young lord knew this nuiscense. He began to think for a moment about the non-sense that just sprouted from her mouth. A growl left his throat.

The ice demoness in front of him lifted a brow as a smirk crossed her face. Sky-line colored hair trailed down her back and her hands stayed propped on her voluptuous hips. The only reason this "thing" was in his face was do to the fact that she was the daughter of a lower-lord. The second reason was do to the ridiculous notion that she believed he was madly in love with her.

"Oh servant, kindly leave our presence," the demoness snipped. A simple nod was Nozomi's reply. Sesshomaru's eyes went blank at the current situation just brought about. Yet, he did not have enough time to react.

Nozomi merely picked up her cleaning supplies and stood up. Her eyes continued to be covered by her golden hair and she bowed before Sesshomaru and the Demoness. In a light voice she warned that the floor was still wet and to be careful. The other demoness began to sneer.

"I will need no warning from such a weak being. You're a sickening thing that should be glad that you were given existence, although your life is worthless anyhow. Leave our presence, be glad I bothered giving you any acknowledgement you hideous beast," the feminine diva snapped giving a low cackle.

Sesshomaru stiffened and a rage began building inside him. Nozomi only bent her head lower without a word and scuttled off. The ice demoness smirked and turned her head back to her "beloved". She was startled to find a red-shined pair of eyes staring back at her.

"You are the one that should have left, Kari. You are a nascence that I should have been ridden of. That…young creature you insulted was of your kin," Sesshomaru growled out. Kari merely raised a brow and scoffed.

"As if that thing can be called my Kin," the presumptuous let out another scoff at the idea, "Just because my uncle made the repulsive mistake of bedding a human, does not mean she is worth anything to me,"

"Impudent wench, leave my sight at once or I shall remove you myself," snarled Sesshomaru as his eyes darkened more to a red-wine hue. Kari eyed him curiously.

"I'm surprised by how upset you've become. Keep this up and I'm sure people will get the idea of you actually liking the hanyou," Kari said with a mischievous tone. Her comment was replied back with silence. She remained quiet as well as she watched his red eyes dim back to gold.

"Why would you assume such a thing?" Sesshomaru asked quietly as his gaze fell to the side. Kari's eyes widened and she seemed to perk up at this. The knowledge she just discovered could be used to her advantage.

"Although, they do say long ago you did hold some place in your heart for her," Kari said almost maliciously. There was another short silence before Sesshomaru replied back in a harsh whisper.

"Leave…"

….

The seal made sure to shut the contents off from the world, a painful tight wrap that threatened to strangle the things within its bindings. Emotions weld up behind a mask of ice. It was a cold and desolate wasteland that still held its beauty. Haunting ghostly gold eyes desperately holding back the thoughts that make them shine. Cascading silver hair fit for camouflage in the icy storms that bore down in Sesshomaru's heart.

He had become something unrecognizable in his own mind. He had become his own shadow. Sesshomaru was nothing but a silent emotionless bit of darkness in the world of light. Walking down the corridors in his new over-whelming silence he appeared a phantom cloaked in white.

Golden wisps of hair came into his line of vision. Her eyes met his. A sad smile came to her face and her eyes softened. Nothing changed in Sesshomaru's demeanor as he continued forward. Nozomi held out a flower in Sesshomaru's passing. Never before had she approached him to directly give her gift.

Again nothing changed. Sesshomaru never even glanced at the plant, nor did he look at Nozomi. He passed by as if the hanyou girl didn't even exist. Soon she was out of his line of vision and a pain shot through him on the inside. Just like he had done to Nozomi, he ignored it. The pain faded away.

The flower in Nozomi's grasp drooped as her arm went limp. It had taken all her courage to face him. Her ounce of courage seemed to amount to nothing however. Secretly she wondered where Sesshomaru had gone, for the creature that had passed her by moments before seemed to only master his beautiful face, and taint it with the look of an emotional shell.

A chill went through Nozomi as another figure turned into the corridor. She lifted her eyes and looked over at the other woman. Kari's eyes narrowed and her mouth curled into a scowl. The demoness swept a clawed hand through her long wintry tresses as she huffed. Her feet clicked on the ground till she stopped in front of Nozomi.

"You realize someone like him could never love you," the ice demoness said with a sound of contempt. A feeling of satisfaction filled Kari as she watched Nozomi's lips trembled. However, she was thrown off as she saw the smile creep onto the hanyou's face.

"What would a person like you know anything about love?" retorted Nozomi with the greatest amount of courage she never knew she possessed. Before she had time to react a palm came in contact with her cheek. Her small body toppled towards the ground. Being used to the abuse, it took only a minute to sit up on the floor as she looked up at her cousin.

"I know a lot more than a half-demon like you could ever wish to know. Love would never come your way. You are undeserving of any form of love. Disgraceful monsters such as you do not have the privilege to love themselves," Kari hissed as she stomped away glaring at Nozomi whom still sat on the ground.

Nozomi blinked and she took in a breath. She brought her knees closer to her body and wrapped her arms around them. Eyes looking gloomy she leaned her head back against the wall. Her cheek stung and she could feel the imprint of Kari's hand. One deep breath escaped her and the smile came back to her face.

"I have seen more hate sent my way than anything" she whispered on her lips, "but I have always managed to love so many things in this world, there is no room for hate in my heart,"

Days passed listlessly after that moment. Nothing seemed to have changed. It continued to stay endlessly quiet. During one of these days of silence Sesshomaru found himself walking around outside his father's castle. His golden eyes soaked in all the nature around him. It seemed to have a calming effect, until he felt a pair of arms wrap around his shoulders.

"I almost miss your words of defense for the hanyou, than this silence you incase yourself in," Kari said as her hair started mixing into Sesshomaru's silver locks. Sesshomaru continued to look un-fazed. The creation of his stone-like mask was almost complete.

"Why does such a thing as silence bother you?" Sesshomaru quipped. He began to remove himself from the ice demoness's hold. A sullen sigh escaped Kari's lips as she pulled away from the young demon prince.

"You lack any emotion at all. I am aware that is what is expected of a warrior, but it's almost as if you're not a person at all. It is slightly troubling to those of us that want your attention. I am un-sure if I can get any kind of reaction out of you Sesshomaru," Kari cooed shaking her head. She lifted it again to meet Sesshomaru's gaze.

Seeing that the prince didn't even blink at her words, Kari began to approach him. Her steps were slow, but confident. A smile graced her face as she tilted her head and let her flowing hair fall. She was a beautiful being, indeed, but her heart was not in the right place. A clawed hand reached out to cup Sesshomaru's cheek. Sesshomaru was taken-aback, but he did not move or protest. The demoness was bold enough to come in for a chaste kiss.

"I love you, Sesshomaru," Kari said as she gazed into his eyes again. Yet, she was faced with no emotion. She could see nothing in his eyes. A hurt expression came to the demoness's face and her hand pulled back from Sesshomaru's face.

"I love you…" Sesshomaru repeated aloud, but his voice held not a hint of emotion. It was like reading out a line from a script; to the reader it meant nothing. However, as soon as these words left his lips he heard a shuffling sound in the distance. Sesshomaru turned his head to the foliage, but did not see a thing. All that faced him were the beating wings of birds as they scattered. Something had startled them.

"Sesshomaru," whispered Kari on her lips and catching the lord's attention again. A tear fell down her cheek, but Sesshomaru did not waver. He knew deep down in the pit of this creature's soul, she did not truly love him. Even if she did love the demon before her though, it wasn't for the right reasons.

"These feelings you have mean absolutely nothing. Feelings are useless in battle. Feelings truly serve no purpose" Sesshomaru stated, "It is best you rid these feelings of love now. There is no reason for it,"

Kari scoffed stepping back from Sesshomaru. Her eyes narrowed and the tear gliding down her cheek was quickly wiped away. The stone-mask was shifting, but Sesshomaru took a handle on it. Nothing would stand in his way. He would take in his logic right away.

"You will regret these words Sesshomaru" Kari spat out, "I will gratefully enjoy the day justice is served, and you shall feel the cool sting of your own words,"

"I highly doubt anything said here will bother to come haunt me later in life," Sesshomaru stated plainly.

…

There was a crinkle of paper as a scroll lay un-rolled upon the table. Pages swept by the golden eyes of the reader, like the weeks that had gone by after his incident with Kari. A thick layer of ice had incased itself around Sesshomaru's soul and emotions. Yet, newly formed ice can be easily cracked.

His father sat opposite of him, also reading the many documents and treaties splayed before them. It was a truly powerful demon that sat before Sesshomaru. Many years of war and battle had shaped the Great Taiyoukai. Sesshomaru highly respected his father and sought guidance from him as he was doing now.

They were both reading over things that had to do with the duty of the Lord of the west. It was a time of learning for Sesshomaru and he was taking in every moment. The day had been quiet and calm. Dark storm clouds had hovered outside, but the rain was such a trivial thing it didn't matter.

A hard knock was heard from the other side of the room by the door. It was a deep resounding noise that bounced off the walls. The knock was slow and deliberate, rather than fast and urgent. This seemed to present the notion that the news they would receive from the visitor was important, yet had already passed. The knock let a foreboding aura fill the room.

"Come in" boomed Touga's voice as he sat up straighter in his seat. Sesshomaru turned his head to the door, his mouth a thin grim line. This would be his first experience in hearing information being received. A breath escaped Sesshomaru's lips as a strange feeling crept into his stomach.

"My Lord," said the solider respectfully as came into the room slowly, "I bring grave news from your retainer Myoga,"

The demon lord brought his fingers to his chin and held them there. His eyes seemed to harden and his face solidified into his own emotionless mask. This was the person that Sesshomaru most wanted to be like, his father. In this current state, his father almost seemed impenetrable.

"This news you have come to inform of must be very serious, if the little tick could not be in my presence to tell me of it himself," Touga spoke solemnly. The soldier gave a curt nod and waited for his turn to speak again. Sesshomaru continued to watch the scene un-fold before him.

"Yes My Lord, the news involves the daughter of Roka," the Soldier replied, he now had both the demon lord's and Sesshomaru's full attention, "I am here to regretfully inform you of her death,"

The air was cold. Words that could have sprouted from their lips dried up in their mouths. Stillness came to the room. A fire slowly began to burn away at Sesshomaru's lungs, he realized he wasn't breathing. The ice around his heart was cracking. The frigid shards of ice pierced painfully into the beating muscle.

Sesshomaru turned to his father to try to find some explanation. The young lord's body was completely numb. Finding that he needed to breath again, his breathes came in and out torturously slow. His eyes were almost clouding over; he needed his father to say something. He needed anything other than this deathly silence.

"What are the circumstances of Nozomi's, Roka's Daughter's death?" questioned the great Taiyoukai somberly. This did not resolve Sesshomaru's problem; and only seemed to warp the numbness he felt into an internal fiery rage. What had caused the demise of the hanyou girl?

"Her body was found in a pond out in the woods. From what evidence we could find, it would seem that Roka's daughter ended her own life" the solider stated, "we have not moved the body from the area of the pond, if you wish to go see the hanyou yourself,"

A loud clack was heard as the chair Sesshomaru had been sitting in dropped towards the floor. His face held a quivering lip and his eyes stared blankly at nothing. Touga watched as his son turned his back before him and the soldier. The young lord's shoulders began to shake almost violently as he took slow and purposeful steps towards the door. Touga watched as the young demon disappeared into the corridor before turning towards the soldier and giving an affirmative nod.

He slowly rose from his seat. Walking over to the fallen chair, he sat it upright with one clawed hand. He moved at a steady pace and did everything with a precise touch. The great demon lord had no expression on his face, but his eyes showed his anguish. Seeing that he was done tidying up the room, Touga set off to find his son. He didn't need to worry of where to look, he knew exactly the place his son would be.

It took only a few minutes for Touga to reach the resting place of Nozomi. He looked towards his son who was now leaning over the still corpse of the girl. The young lord's shoulders had stopped shaking and now he sat there without movement. Touga stayed at his spot.

"She's so cold father," Sesshomaru spoke softly as his hand swept a strand of hair out the girl's lifeless eyes. His hand stopped to rest on her cheek. Her skin had lost all its color. Her once tangible skin stood out from the nature around it, with its pale onion color. Flesh as white as snow and just as cool.

A realization hit Sesshomaru as he leaned over the body of Nozomi. His eyes were beginning to sting. His face was tight. All his senses were telling him that he needed to do something, but an invisible force was not allowing him to do so. Was it because he had bottled his own emotions?

"Father, why am I un-able to cry? Why are tears not able to flow from my eyes?" Sesshomaru asked just as softly as before. His head turned to his father that had stayed silent until then. The dark storm clouds from earlier began to drizzle down on them.

"Warriors are not made to cry. The heavens cry for you. True warriors are to only mourn when it rains. You hide your emotions to yourself, as I've said. Yet, when the rains come your emotions can be released. The thing about the rain is that it washes everything away," Touga said with a hint of remembrance, "it is what I do every time I think of your mother. I simply wait for the rain,"

Sesshomaru seemed to contemplate this and he removed his hand from Nozomi's cheek. He sat down on the forest floor and eyed the once lively creature in front of him. The rain poured down harder and trailed down his silver locks. Sesshomaru's golden eyes darted towards the sky and allowed the water droplets to glide down his cheeks.

…

The golden arc of the sun was beginning to dip behind the trees. Many hours had passed since Jaken had last seen his lord. His was starting to become weary. Sure, Sesshomaru had even gone off for days at a time without telling him in the past; but with the last finishes of the castle being so near, the lord's presence was important.

Rin had told Jaken that the last time she had seen their lord that day was by a pond. The young human girl also mentioned that Sesshomaru seemed upset. Jaken found that slightly preposterous. As if his great leader would ever show a hint of emotion. Suddenly the little green toad spotted a piece of white silk.

The toad-like retainer grew excitable and hobbled over to his lord. The current dog demon lord had his back leaned against a tree and his eyes were closed. Sesshomaru's silver hair sparkled the last of the sun's illuminating rays and a soft breath left his lips.

"Lord Sesshomaru, What are you doing?" Jaken squawked questioningly. Sesshomaru's eyes slowly opened to reveal the deep amber orbs that had been hidden from view. The demon lord craned his neck to look at the sky and sighed.

"I am waiting for the rain…"

…

I promise to soon be adding more Sess/Kag fluff in the next chapter. Mind you, it might be towards the middle of the chapter, but there shall be fluff. I hope you liked this chapter, and I also hope you review. ^.^