Today seemed different to Light, he wasn't exactly sure what it was, but he knew the main focus on this change was with the other male, L. He would have guessed today was like any other day in the life he was getting used to. Right now it surely wasn't, it seemed that the detective was distracted, or forcing himself on a distraction; his eyes barely looking to Light's. More so, it would have seemed that the older male was avoiding looking to the brunet completely, making no effort to turn to the younger as he spoke.
He felt unsettled, if there was anything the raven haired male wanted to say to Light, especially when it involved Light, it would have been straight forward with cold eye, tense body and stern voice. Any sound that was directed to Light was weak, eyes shakily averting from his. Light could only hope that the detective had made a mistake, an error in some way and trying to be too proud to come forward with it.
If L knew what Light was thinking in this darkly lit room, he would have hated knowing the younger male's assumption was right. He tried not to think of last night, his eyes darting from line to line of news reports, if he wasn't distracted with his own personal fault, he would have been able to notice there was a small break through in this news report.
If truth be told- which will never come to be, L had felt more disappointment in having clung to the throw pillow rather than having found out he clung to the throw pillow. His heart ached painfully, as it played with the idea of being next to Light while they slept.
He needed to deny this thought, this thought was not what he needed, the thoughts he needed would have to involve putting the chained individual behind bars. He needed to be disgusted with himself.
Light would have to say his current emotion was rather at uneasy, over the passing time the younger male had taken so much attention and persistence into having L be a little more courteous during his meals. This really told him something was wrong, seeing as the detective was going all out on his previous easting habits, which was a mess compared to now. Light cleared his throat softly, eyes cast down to the rice bowl he held in one hand.
"Ryuuzaki, I think those sweets might taste a little better if some of it when into your mouth," He suggested in a slight annoyance, his chopsticks setting down on the table. Even now, L's eyes weren't looking to the brunet, trying to cut a piece of his strawberry cheese cake. It was an eyesore for Light to see there was crumbs and filling around pursed lips.
"Perhaps whipping my face now would go in vain, as it seems this is only my second slice," L replied in a weak tone, looking down to his dessert. After so long, the urge to whip his face itched in his hand, trying really hard to fight it. If the detective had to deny himself of any comfort, he doubted it would be fair to keep on with Light's, maybe it was time to make efforts in severing this connection his subconscious was trying to grasp.
Light closed his eyes, clenching his jaw slightly, he hoped L was kidding. His bowl now followed his chopsticks, set on the table.
"It's an eyesore," He openly admitted, taking his napkin, maybe he needed to take the step he had taken before to change this little habit.
"It doesn't bother me," Ryuuzaki quickly replied, nails digging into the fabric of his jeans, it was going bother him if Light kept going on with it.
"It bothers me," His tone turned into a slight hiss, standing up to reach over to the other male, the napkin being thrust into the raven haired male's face. L inhaled quickly, turning his face away, leaning back. Finally after almost all day, the detective finally looked to Light.
"I'm sorry to inform you that your opinion doesn't matter," L spat back, his have raising up, pushing tense fist away from his face. His eyes met with the younger male, there was a sense of coldness and vacancy that the brunet could see, Light's hand falling down first. He felt aggravated with the older male's words, after all this time.
"I'm turning in for the night," He announced in spite, stepping back, the chain following in a slow motion, his hand turning back to catch it. L made no movements to go along with Light's words, the silence returned with the younger male pulling the metal taut with a second hand.
L figured this battle would come into more contact and having his eyes focused on the other, which he would decline both. His hand dropping the fork down to the plate with heavy clanks, there were small clicks of his joints as he got out of his chair. All the while, Light's eyes were on him, which made Ryuuzaki more aware of the mess on his face and the need to whip it off
Now that L was forced onto his laptop, he felt very unsettled, Light said he wanted to turn in early but at this moment, he was reading. From what he knew, turning in early, it meant that the younger male was planning on going to sleep, this wasn't the case, it seemed. The desire to point it out flown through him, but this meant having to exchange words and possibly make more conflict- between them and himself.
L sat, fingers tapping along the keys, trying to soak up as much information as he could, engross himself even more than the whole day. The pair were now in more close quarters and on even more intimate base, now sitting in bed, half dressed in night wear. He was thankful to himself that the throw pillow was still placed between them, the rumples he had smoothed out this morning showed no signs of having been touched. Or cuddled, but he needed to push that aside. The more important matter was that Misa wanted to go on a date, somewhere outside the head quarters
These little emails were persistent, and if they weren't put through text, a shrill voice would often follow. The desire to cut any sort of contact with Light would rise within him often, which he was sure had risen since the younger male's effort to make L's presence more tolerable. Thinking of it now, if he had to compare himself to what he was a year ago, this long term contact with the other had almost dramatically changed his presence, having been forced to be more aware of himself.
Would it hurt to revert back completely? He would have guessed not, but under the assumption that there would be any sort of discomfort between then, it would be all for the best. The less pleasant their encounter was, the better, he had the obligation of putting Light away for good for the actions that he had taken as Kira.
There was this feeling, the only way he could ever imagine it as was his heart falling and his stomach was trying to digest it into food. It really hurt and brought him nausea, making L feel as if his throat was closing in on him. His fingers itched before slamming the laptop shut.
"I'm turning in early." He hissed, placing it on the night stand, he needed to get away from these thoughts. He was at this moment 'too close' to Light right now, as if this bed was too intimate and calm for his inner turmoil.
Light closed his book, his finger holding the pages place, he gave the older male a curious look as he did feel slightly confused. Having been sleeping in this very bed for so long, it never failed, not even once that Light had always fallen asleep sooner than Ryuuzaki. The brunet actually felt sympathetic, seeing there was really pain that L was going through, but too modest to admit it.
This evening, during supper, Light had truly noticed the change in L, not just in table manners but he found that the boundaries that he had set between himself and L were returned. It seemed to go against him now, seeing as he once told L there are things better off unsaid, they weren't meant to be exchanged which were mostly emotions.
L really did go to sleep sooner than Light this late evening, having forced to go deep within his subconscious to grasp to set down for the night. Once again, the raising sun was blocked off from the inside world, heavy curtains shielding their sleeping eyes, which made either of them unaware of this sight that L once again beheld. The throw pillow that L had become in a sense dependent on had been set down to useless, pressed down between warm mattress and very fine waist. Ryuuzaki's body was where he least wanted, pressed up against Light's body, arm wrapped around heated limb.
There would have been many occasions when L had fallen asleep later and woken early. Light opened his eyes, discomforted from the warmth that his subconscious had tried to stray from with no avail, natural response would be to wake and move more freely. His mind was in sleepy fuzz, so was his hand he realized once h couldn't feel his fingers flex. Tired eyes turned to his side, which soon filled with confusion, his attention on L's sleeping form clinging to him so dearly.
Light was still painfully confused, but some of it came together with how pressing L was about getting the throw pillow between them. He couldn't help but smile softly, his other hand reaching over and held pale face, a warmth washing over him, perhaps pride followed along.