Some of you might be wondering who Rachel is. To find out, you must go to my other story "Uchiha Girl". You only have to read the first one or two chapters to find out who she is, where she came from, and how she met Gaara.
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Before Kakashi had reached the stairs, a giant paw came flying at him. It chased him down the steps and to the door. He had almost made it outside when another claw shot through the door from the open window two floors up. He was trapped, and Rachel was lifted into the air by one of the paws and brought back to Gaara's room.
"What was that about?" Gaara asked as Rachel floated in through the window.
"I could ask you the same question." Kakashi growled as he came in through the door, Naruto and Sasuke were right behind him.
"Kakashi acts kind of fatherly towards me and Sasuke. And like all father's, he's a bit overprotective when his children start dating." Rachel explained as the hand released her.
"I am not."
"You got me disqualified from the chuunin exams when you caught me and Gaara on the roof top—"
"I've heard enough." Naruto walked out of the room. Sasuke turned to glare at the three remaining in the room.
"What exactly were you doing on the roof?" He growled.
"Nothing" Gaara answered in his usually monotone as he raised one of his invisible eyebrows. Sasuke turned to Rachel and she was nodding in agreement.
"Well," Kakashi began to speak, "at least you're a jonin, now."
"Shut up," Rachel stood up from the chair she was sitting in, "I'm going back to bed."
"Me too." Gaara started to follow her out of the room, only to have Kakashi and Sasuke grab him.
"You don't sleep." They snarled together.
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The day finally came for them to leave for Hogwarts. Padfoot walked with them through the train station and to the pillar in between platform nine and ten. The majority of the shinobi jumped (Sasuke and Gaara don't jump like that and Kakashi is to experienced a ninja to be caught off guard (not paying attention works too)) when Rachel and Padfoot disappeared through the bricks. Sasuke flashed his sharinghan.
"I don't see a genjutsu."
"Maybe that's just because your eyes aren't advanced enough." Kakashi explained as he uncovered his left eye.
"Well?" Sasuke looked up at the copy ninja who stared blankly at the wall.
"…."
"I though so." The male Uchiha smirked.
"Well, I'm not scared of some stupid wall!" Naruto yelled as he ran straight through the pillar. Everyone shrugged their shoulders and just followed him.
What took you so long? Padfoot's eyes asked.
"We were having some trouble." Kakashi answered the unspoken question.
The elevation of Sirius' fuzzy brow gave off the look of Was the portal not working?
"No, it was. We just didn't know how it was working."
Sirius shook his head and used his nose to nudge them on board.
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It was amazing that they found two empty compartments to sit in. It was even more amazing that the compartments were side-by-side. The train was filled with more children then all the hidden villages combined could hold.
In the first compartment, the Sand siblings filed in. Rachel was about to walk in after them when her 'over-protective father' pulled her out, pushed a confused Sakura in, slammed the door, and threw the girl into the Kaka/Sasu/Naru compartment.
"Why aren't you sitting with Gaara?" Sasuke asked as he glared (I don't really know why he glares so damn much) out the window.
"Would you rather Sakura be in here?" Kakashi asked. That shut him up for the time being.
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"Where's Rachel?"
"I-I don't know."
"Why are you in here with us?"
"I don't know."
"Who pushed you in here?"
"I don't know!"
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As the train began moving on its long (long) journey to the magical school, Naruto got bored. He attempted to free himself of this tiresome state by starting a conversation.
"Hey, Sasuke, did you see all of those girls—"
"--and guys." Rachel interrupted.
"Yeah, and guys checkin' you out when we got on the train?"
"Hn."
"That means yes." Rachel interpreted.
"Ok, so, what are you gonna do about you new fan club?"
"I'm going to pretend that Rachel is my girlfriend." Such an obvious answer, right?
"That's a wonderful idea!" Kakashi smiled. "Since she can't be around Gaara, it shouldn't matter, right?"
"Who says I have to listen to you and your crazy friend rules?" Rachel rolled her eyes. "I can be around Gaara anytime I feel like it. I'm a jonin. I can do what I want."
"We'll see about that." Kakashi and Sasuke murmured in unison.
"Anyways," Rachel continued. "I don't think the people at this school support incest."
"They don't have to know we're related."
"Our last names are the same, idiot."
"You're adopted, idiot."
"It doesn't matter, dumb ass."
"Marriage." Kakashi explained. "You can say that you're married."
"We're too young...in this country, anyways." Rachel shook her head. "Why don't you ask Sakura—she'd say yes in a heartbeat?"
"As true as that is, she's already a fan girl. If I asked, she would never make it out as just an act. She'd take it too seriously." Sasuke shuddered a little when images of SasuSaku-ish things filled his mind.
"What about Gaara's sister?" Naruto asked. "That Temari girl?" The entire compartment went silent. "Yeah, I guess that wouldn't work."
On the other side of the wall, two girls went into sneezing fits.
"I know!" Rachel smirked (evil smirk time). "Naruto—you can date Naruto."
"What--NO!?" Naruto shook his head. "Ms. Sakura would kill me!" (1)
"You don't want to date me?" Sasuke quirked an eyebrow—he'd never heard anyone say that before.
"It's not that I don't want to, bastard (2). I just don't want to get killed. You see what Ms. Sakura does to that flirtty Yamanaka. And what she does to me when I get on your bad side, just imagine what it would be like if I got on hers. I'm sure that stealing you would be a death sentence…. Also, I'm not gay."
"You're right, you're bi." Rachel explained. (3)
"Don't worry." Sasuke cut off anything Naruto was about to say and picked up the kitsune chamber (who began to squirm as he did), placing him on his lap. "I'll protect you. That's what a good man does, right—he protect the ones he loves?"
"You don't love me, bastard." Naruto was blushing like crazy. He couldn't free himself from Sasuke's death-grip. "This is an act, remember?"
For now, Inner, chibi Sasuke schemed unnoticeably.
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The train ride continued to drag on. The sky eventually darkened and Naruto still tried to free himself from Sasuke's stone arms well into the night. Eventually, he gave up when sleep slowed him down. Even he had to admit that Sasuke's warm body was a better pillow than the cold window.
When morning came, so did the food trolley.
"Would you children like somethin' from the trolley?" The old woman asked as she pulled back the door. She scanned the compartment, her eyes lingering a little on the blonde and raven who were sitting in such a strange and questionable manner, but smiling all the same as she did.
"What do you have?" Kakashi asked lazily (it could be sleepiness, but I don't care).
"Do you have ramen?" You-know-who (not Voldi) asked hopefully.
"No...but we do 'ave ev'ry flavor beans, chocolate frogs—"
"Real frogs?" Naruto (bug-eyed) asked, but the woman shook her head. "I'll take one." Rachel was going to tell him that he couldn't eat them because the spell he needed to perform…well, he couldn't perform it. 'Going to' are the key words used in that statement.
"My frog!" Naruto cried out when the slimy-looking ball of chocolaty goodness jumped from its box and onto the window frame.
Thud
With a kunai now in its back, Sasuke handed the immobilized candy to his 'pretend' (but-not-for-long) lover.
"Tank vu, Mr. Shaskay." Naruto said with his mouth full.
"Hey, Naruto, whose on the box?"
"What?"
"He asked whose picture card came on the box."
"Um...'Cornelius Fudge', whoever that is."
"How ironic." Rachel mumbled.
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"How much longer?"
"Not much longer."
"..."
"..."
"How much longer?"
"Not much longer."
It was almost like a game they were playing: Naruto would continuously ask the same question while Rachel gave him the same answer. Fun.
"How much--?"
"--You know what?" Rachel stood up and opened the sliding door. "I'm gonna go find that Potter kid."
"I'll come with you!" Naruto attempted to stand but Sasuke still hadn't released him. "Bastard, let go!"
"Hn…." Sasuke let go only to grabbed the blondes arm to pull him back down. They're faces were inches apart now. "How about a goodbye kiss?"
"No, I'm not ready for that." Naruto tried to free himself again.
"Oh, come on." Rachel rolled her eyes. "It's not like you two haven't done it before."
"Oh, ho, ho." Kakashi snickered. "You have—haven't you? I remember that."
"Come on, Naruto, are you going with me or not?"
"Yeah, dead last, just hurry up so you can go." Sasuke smirked as he gripped Naruto's chin.
"No means no!" Naruto broke free of a still smirking Sasuke and bolted out of the compartment, followed by Rachel.
"This is going to be a fun mission, don't you think, Sasuke?"
"Hn." Still smirking.
"Now, Sasuke." Kakashi closed the book that no one saw him open. His tone became serious and he sat up. "Its time for us to have 'the talk'." (4)
Will our two main characters ever find Potter-kun? Will Rachel ever talk to Gaara again? Will Naruto ever succumb to Sasuke? Will Kakashi stop being so overprotective? Will Sasuke survive 'the talk'? Will the author ever get a life? Find out next time in chapter four of "Professor, What's a Jutsu?".
(1) Honorifics like chan, kun, san, and sama become ms, mr, mrs, lord, etc. when translated into English.
(2) Teme means bastard, dobe means dead last, and usuratonkachi means dumb ass. Although I'm sure you guy already know that (if you don't, you probably either don't watch the subtitled version or don't care enough to look it up), I'm saying it anyways in case you didn't.
(3) In my story "Uchiha Girl", there is a scene where Sakura questions Naruto's sexuality (she's joking at the time, of course). When Naruto gets on the defensive and explains to her that he likes her, Rachel states that she heard that all kitsune (foxes) were bisexuals.
(4) Speaking of 'talks', I wrote a one-shot about Kakashi giving the rookie nine plus Team Gai a sex talk. Its called "The Talk" and its really funny. You should check it out!