A/N: Yes, it is moving along swiftly. I'm doing the best I can without my copy of DH, I'm pretty sure I have the details correct. Reviews! I had a question messaged to me (Snape would be dead by now, how come Lizzie's charm is still working?) My answer: It's quite simple really, Lizzie took a potion. Snape didn't charm her, the potion she took is essentially a Glamor Charm, but the potion is used to keep it in place. It's stronger then the average charm, somewhere between glamour and polyjuice.
I eventually manage to make my way out of the Great Hall feeling numb, my arm didn't hurt anymore even though I was well aware it was still broken. Hermione had been tugging on it, I had retched it out of her grasp and yet I could feel nothing. Well that was probably a lie, because I was feeling many things at this moment grief being one of them, but I think it was all of the overwhelming emotions that were making me feel numb.
I walk down the steps out of the front doors barley paying attention to my surroundings. If someone killed me right now I probably wouldn't even noticed I felt dead as it was. I see two familiar people approach, a body over one of their shoulders. Another death, of course, I could feel them all piling up in my head, I wasn't sure if I would be able to close my eyes at all after this, it was like I could feel a tiny bit of myself dying every time a recognized one of the dead. It was Cedric all over again, Sirius all over again. I didn't deal with death well.
"What are you doing out here?" Neville asks drawing my attention away from Oliver. I shrug, "Couldn't be in there anymore, need help with-" I gasp. "Colin? I told him… I watched him. For fuck sake!" I growl upon seeing the body. Once again I could feel tears welling in my eyes, Neville rushes to my side trying to shield me once more.
"I tried to keep him in the tower too, I figured you were the one that they were talking about when I saw them sneaking down the stairs a few hours ago. I got sidetracked though, I couldn't stop them." Neville sighs leading me back up to the castle. I stop turning back to Oliver who was looking at me curiously.
"I- has anyone seen my brother?" I stop myself from making a comment, and look around the two getting an odd feeling. It felt like we were being watched, I could feel eyes on me but couldn't see anyone in the vicinity. There was nothing beyond them of course, Hagrid's Hut and the forest. Both seemed quiet and empty, I briefly wondered where Hagrid had gotten to, I hadn't seen the half-giant in a while.
"Not since he came to see me earlier," Neville admits, I frown up at him prompting him to clarify. "Something about a snake, he said to kill the snake if I got a chance."
I shiver, back to that freaking snake.
"Yeah, he told me the same thing… Have I ever told you that I don't like snakes?" I offer weakly. Snakes were completely over rated; in my opinion. I was thankful I didn't get the same abilities Harry did that night, I had no desire to speak with them.
I could feel myself dragging my feet as we got closer and closer to the school, eventually I slip from Neville grasp and sit down on the stairs waving them off. I couldn't go back in there.
"I'll come check on you in a bit," Neville mummers crouching down in front of me. I nod and offer him a weak smile as he brushes his thumb across my cheek wiping away a few tears that I didn't know had fallen.
"You've been so strong, it will all be over soon."
"Do you think Harry's okay? He wouldn't actually turn himself over would he?" I frown slightly, he wouldn't would he? Surly he was just under his cloak somewhere. Probably with Hermione and Ron. Just keeping out of sight...
"Harry wouldn't do anything stupid, he's fine I'm sure."
"Promise?" I ask, he seems to struggle for a moment, his thoughts the same as mine. He didn't really know. After a moment he nods squeezing his hand into mine. The hour was going to be up soon. That's what worried me.
"We have to trust that everything will be okay, that it will all be over soon."
"I know," I whisper, "You promised." He had, only days ago, he had promised that Harry would come and that it would all be over soon. This was it, the final battle, now or never.
Neville nods, leaning forward placing a soft kiss on my forehead, "I know, I promised."
I close my eyes and take a deep breath, it was a simple gesture, at this moment though it meant the world.
"Do you think I'll ever be happy again?" I ask quietly, Neville squeezes my hand in his gently.
"The war has changed people, you're no exception," he reasons. "I think it will take us all some time to get back to how we were this time last year. I also think that," he pauses brushing some more tears away, "you'll bounce back the quickest. You've always be the happiest one Lizzie, and I think even though you'll be hurting to you will push through that to see that the rest of us don't get lost in our own grief."
I huff, "That's not right, I deal with death the worst out of everybody. Do you know how much I just want to curl up right now and cry?"
"You haven't though! That's what matters, your stronger then you think, Lizzie." he says with a sigh, standing from his crouched position. He gives me a brief tight smile, squeezing my hand once more before letting it drop.
I watch as Neville walks up the stairs quickly, his head held high as he walks back into the castle. He walked with purpose now, I on the other hand had caught myself walking aimlessly not to long ago, and I found myself wondering how Neville could keep going. It was almost killing me, I didn't have the mental stability for all of this. I look towards the forest knowing who was in there, I wished that I had the power to end this but I didn't. It was all up to Harry and I could only hope that I found him before he could do something stupid. I was beginning to feel a bit sick to my stomach, no one had seen Harry, or if they had like I suspected Hermione had, they wouldn't tell me where he was.
I felt like so many people I knew were dead, Fred, Remus, Tonks, the only thing that made me feel better was not seeing bodies in the Great Hall, if they weren't there that meant they were okay. Right? A dim roar, almost like a cheer comes towards me through the wind. I frown and shake my head, cheering? Death Eaters? That was just silly.
No. If my heart had shattered before it was just dust now. Tiny bits of dust that I don't think could even be stoked enough to regrow.
"HARRY? HARRY!" I scream pushing Ginny out of my way, I had been shocked out of my own thoughts at the loud booming voice only moments ago. He couldn't be dead but his montionless body was telling me he was. I dodge Mr. Weasley as he attempts to pull me towards him and charge forward stopping only mere feet away from the snake-like man who had single-handedly caused my life to officially become a living hell.
"NO! HARRY!" I cry,I could feel people closing in around me. Laughter from the other side, cruel laughter. I feel my legs give out as someone pushes me behind them standing in front of me blocking my view.
"Protecting her will do no good boy, wouldn't be the first time a Snape fell in love with a Potter." I barley register the cold tones, I couldn't even bother to correct him it was like the air had been sucked out of my lungs and I couldn't breath. My brother was my only family left and now he was gone, it was like a muggle picture show was play in my brain as I remembered my brother.
"Oh Harry, fancy seeing you here. Just uh.. working out. Yeah, working on my biceps" I flex my muscles trying to use my wand as a weight. Harry raises an eyebrow sceptically.
"You expect me to believe that? Surly you being in here has nothing to do with the fact Christmas is tomorrow?"
"I would never snoop for my gifts!" I gasp innocently.
Harry laughs an moves over to his bed pulling out a small package, "I have a few more for you, this should hold you over until tomorrow." he throws the package to me and I smile up at him plopping down on the floor sitting a top a stack of his dirty laundry.
"Oh you know me so well brother dear."
It felt so long ago now that memory, more floated to the surface and then finally a loud scream shocked me out of my trance. "Harry? Where's Harry gone?"
I look up, Neville standing above me holding Gryffindor's sword. In that moment all I could think of was the fact someone had stolen my brothers body. Had Neville stabbed his dead body? Who would take Harry's body? Couldn't they see me sitting here ready to fall to bits now they go and destroy the body so I couldn't even have a proper burial. How did he even get that sword, I had watched my brother dive down to get it from the bottom of a pond!
"You know what they say Harry, to get over someone, just get under someone else!"
"Lizzie!" Hermione scolds aghast, I shrug, honestly I first heard the expression when I was twelve and didn't quite understand it until this year.I honestly thought at the age of twelve it just meant letting someone sit on you or something equally retarded.
"I'm just saying, Cho is just... What's so good about her anyways? I know she was your first kiss an all but you don't need to be so attached. There's other fish in the sea, besides all she does is cry anyways, girls quite unhinged, not right in the head."
"Lizzie!" Harry laugh lightly, I jump over and sit down on the arm of his chair. "Don't worry about it Harry, if you never get married you can live with Oliver and I. We'll have a big house and you can be the wacky Uncle who lives upstairs and always has candies full of lint in your pocket."
"Great, a life alone" he deadpans, I smile, "Not alone, you'll always have me."
That was a lie though, I wouldn't always have him, I was alone now. I could feel myself being pulled up and out of the way as people started moving, my eyes stayed lock at the spot mid-air where my brother had been only moments ago.
"Lizzie!"
My eyes snap up as Neville tugs on my broken arm pulling me out of the way. My feet were moving, following him, I couldn't think of anything else though. Couldn't bring myself to care, with zombie like movements I allow Neville to push me into a nook on the outside of the castle. "Lizzie, you have to move!"
I shake my head looking up at his broken face, "You promised."