A/N: Wow, it's been a while, eh? Weird. Can't be helped, though, I've been...distracted. By dragons and the like. And can I tell you how freakin' annoying it is when evil boar-riding-hogs come and kidnap your childhood lover? And then you have to travel the country by boat or horse, save magical spirits, and defeat evil pigs just to get them back. Annoying. But, through it all, you know that your pirate girlfriend/childhood lover will be there through it all. Sigh. Well, I've hung my sword and it's time for me to retire...until Hyrule calls for me again.
Adopted
Chapter 5
Akane didn't always handle stress well. Sometimes she could use it to her advantage and convert it into energy to help her work or train twice as hard. Sometimes it made her want to smash her head into a wall and then dig a hole to die in. This was one of those times.
It didn't help that she knew a very annoying man who's sole purpose in life was, when her nerves were wrung as dry as they could be, to push her over the edge. Well, more like blindfold her, tie her to a boulder, and then laugh heartily as he positively chucked her into a rolling sea. Or at least that's how she sometimes pictured it. And so, as a precaution, she was being very, very careful not to let the stress show.
"Mom, should you be doing that?"
"Ah!" Akane quickly let go of the light pole and let it crumple in pieces to the ground. She bowed quickly to the crowd on the street. "Eh heh, sorry about that, don't mind us!" She took Kimiko's hand, half a dozen shopping bags in the other, and continued down the sidewalk, clearing her throat. They made their way through the downtown streets, shop owners calling out to them and people crowding around for morning sales. Ahead of them Ranma's jet black hair and red shirt stood out above the masses, a small boy on his shoulders, yanking on his pigtail and pointing at shop windows. Once in a while Ranma would turn and glance at Akane, just to make sure they were keeping up. Each time, Akane suddenly found the nearest vendor selling the most interesting thing she'd ever seen. Kimiko looked up at her mother with a small frown.
"Are you ok, Mom?" She asked.
"What me?" Akane responded, embarrassed. "Yes, perfectly ok, absolutely nothing wrong. No worries. Perfectly normal."
Kimiko's frown deepened. She looked toward the strange man with her brothers. Ramen, or whatever his name was. She skipped ahead when she saw the three oohing and aahing, hovering over a takoyaki cart. Akane followed. The owner was just handing out free samples to them when she walked up, and of course they were making a big ruckus about it. Yunshin sang a little song about how awesome the owner was as Hikaru tried to follow along while Ranma cried out and waved rapidly at his burnt tongue. Kimiko calmly blew on hers before cautiously nibbling on it.
"Here," Ranma handed Akane a toothpick topped by takoyaki as she came up, distractedly trying to see the tip of his tongue on the basis that it really was burnt black.
"Ah, thanks," She took it carefully, bowing to the cart owner as they walked on again, Akane now in the lead.
It was hard to pinpoint exactly why she was stressed, but of all the people in Nerima the one person she had been the most nervous to see was the one person she was now stuck with. She had tried to talk herself out of it during the trip home from Nishao, but since they'd left the dojo that morning the stress had been bubbling up more and more. Yesterday she had been able to keep it down, hiding away behind her family, old and new. Now, however, there was a large pair of blue eyes that she was painfully, painfully aware of.
"Hey, 'Kane."
She briefly closed her eyes to steady herself before turning around. "ACK!" She punched him.
"Ow! What!"
"Don't stand so close! You scared the crap out of me!"
"What! You knew I was there." He rubbed his head angrily. "I was just gonna say there's an ice cream stand over there, no need to freak out."
"I wasn't freaking out, you startled me." She said defensively, hiding her red face by looking away.
He mistook it. "Sor-ry, miss snooty-pants, I'll stand back." He snapped.
"Just don't sneak up on me, ok?"
"Ok!"
"Fine!"
"Fine!"
"I'm getting ice cream!" Akane stalked across the street. "You guys coming or what?"
"Let's go," Ranma looked down. The children stared up at him. "What?" He asked, confused.
Kimiko broke away first with an uppity shake of the head and followed her mother, taking the hand of Hikaru and leading him along. Yunshin didn't move.
"What are you lookin' at, kid? Move along." Ranma shoved him ahead of him, bringing up the rear with a miffed grimace.
It was about now that Akane felt like digging that hole to die in. I'm such an idiot, She though.
Nabiki blinked at her guest. Shampoo just smiled patiently. After another minute she ventured to ask again, "Shampoo come see Ranma, yes? Bring special recipe for whole house. Make airen happy, yes? Is home?"
"Hold that thought." Nabiki turned back into the house and made her way to the living room, thinking. She knew exactly where Ranma was—with Akane. She wasn't sure, however, if she wanted to announce that to an insane Chinese woman. She thought the kids could use some time to get used to each other. And by kids she didn't mean the kids at all, she meant Ranma and Akane.
But, on the other hand, Nerima would find out eventually. It didn't matter how or when they found out, the outcome would most likely be the same. The question was whether or not Nabiki wanted to deal with that today. She sighed.
"...no, no, Soun Tendo," Soun said over the phone on the other side of the room, twisting the cord happily in his fingers. "Yes, yes, do you remember now? ...Yes, that was me! Good to talk to you, too. ...Yes, the Go board is holding up nicely, you're a fine craftsman...No, I was calling to tell you my daughter has come home! My baby girl! Hmm? ….Yes, yes she's been missing for almost a year! Why, thank you, we're very happy about it...yes..."
"Daddy," Nabiki interrupted icily. "What are you doing?"
"Oh, Nabiki, sweetie, I'm calling up all my old friends to tell them the good news, of course! ...What? Oh, not you, just my daughter. ...No, a different one...I have three...Oh ho ho, yes, all very beautiful! Almost all grown up!" A tear entered his eye.
Nabiki refrained from ripping the phone cord from the wall and turned back down the hallway to the front door just as Soun was launching into a story of his pride as a new grandfather. She should have watched her father more carefully, the idiot. Well, there was no helping it now. Soun's list of "friends" consisted of everyone he'd ever spoken to. All of Japan would know by noon tomorrow.
Nabiki yanked the door back open and Shampoo beamed.
"Ah! Is Ranma?"
What the heck, Nabiki thought. "How much yen you got on you?"
"Ice ceam is too too yum yum, ice ceam is too too bum bum, ice ceam is too too fun fun!" Hikaru repeated Yunshin's takoyaki song from earlier, with a rendition more appropriate to what they were now eating. Ranma sat next to him on the curb, licking his own ice cream cone and wondering what in the heck Akane's problem was. Kimiko sat on his other side with ice cream in hand, kindly listening to the tone-deaf melody and ignoring the tall man next to her.
Ranma sighed. "So, Kimiko..." Ranma fished around for a minute. "How ya—"
"I don't like you."
"—doin'...Come again?" He must have misheard her. She didn't repeat herself, however, or look at him again for that matter. He was just getting annoyed about being confused when Akane finished paying and walked up behind them. She stopped.
"Where's Yunshin?" She asked.
Ranma froze, mid lick. "I thought he was with you."
"I thought he was with you."
They looked at each other. Akane rolled her eyes and tossed her ice cream to the side. "I swear he's gonna be the death of me..."
They ran back through the crowds, shopping bags swinging, Hikaru on Akane's hip, and Kimiko keeping up alongside. Ranma jumped to an awning for a better view while Akane stayed on the ground to peek in windows. Akane was just beginning to panic when she heard his voice from down an alley. Ranma jumped down and they slowed as they recognized who he was talking to.
"—honestly no idea what you're talking about." Yunshin said with a nonchalant lick of his ice cream.
"For the last time, where is the fair maiden Akane?"
"For the last time, I doth not knoweth of who you speaketh."
"Child, do not presume to make a mockery of the mighty Kuno."
"I don't presume nothin'."
"Anything," Akane corrected.
"Right, anything." Yunshin nodded to his mother. "Like I said, I don't know anything about Akane." Kimiko rolled her eyes.
Kuno ignored him. He turned toward Akane who braced herself. He fell to one knee. "Oh, fairest of females, how I have longed for thee. The day has been as night, the night as lonely as my heart without yours beside it. To be, as we have been, torn from the bosom of the other—"
"What's a bosom?" Kimiko asked.
"—is a sin that even the foulest of demons, under the reign of their great king Saotome, would never dare—"
"Cool, Ranma, you're a king?" Yunshin looked up at him.
Ranma turned humbly to the side. "Huh, only the greatest, most majestic—"
"Oh, please," Akane said, eyes half lidded.
"—to challenge the love, will and strength of the mighty," Kuno paused to pose and lightning struck behind him. "KUNO!"
"He's funny!" Hikaru smiled.
Kuno left his dramatic background to stand over Akane, the little boy in her arms, and a bored Kimiko at her side. "Who, may I ask, are these?"
"Well," Akane began. "These...are my children."
Kuno looked at her for a minute. "Your...children?"
"Yes."
"Your children?"
"That's what I said."
"Where is the father?"
"There isn't one."
"Well, then," Kuno wrapped an arm around her. "I will be more than happy to take up the mantle, to raise these children as my own alongside—"
Ranma sent him flying across the alley to land in the dumpster on the other side. "I've had just about enough out of you, Romeo." Ranma turned. "Let's get out of here before he gets up."
Akane threw over her shoulder casually, "Good to see you, Kuno. Let's do it again in another year."
Their progress out of the alley was hindered as Ukyo, rosy cheeked and winded from running, stood in the way, hands on her knees. "Thank-huff-goodness, I-wheeze-found you. Hey-whew-Akane."
"Hey, Ukyo, how are you?" Akane smiled at her as she straightened herself out.
"Pretty good, you?" She blinked. "Is it just me, or are the children multiplying?"
"Well..."
"Never mind, tell me later. Right now, you gotta get out of here, there are tons of people looking for you, so unless you want to get mauled—"
Akane's view of Ukyo was suddenly obscured by a shock of purple hair and matching eyes. Shampoo blinked at the dark haired girl who just stared back with wide eyes. Shampoo poked her. Circled her. Poked her again.
"Hey, Shampoo," Akane said halfheartedly.
Shampoo jumped back. "Aiya! Really is Akane!" She wrapped her arms around Ranma's torso. "Look, Ranma, is violent fiancée."
"Yeah, I know," He grunted as he tried to free himself.
"Akane, why you come back?" She ignored Ukyo as she came over, using her spatula to try and pry Shampoo's arms away from Ranma. "Shampoo thinking you running away very good idea, free Ranma to love Shampoo. We love too too much now."
Akane gave a barely noticeable twitch of the eye before covering it with a smile. "Oh, really? How nice for you."
Ukyo had findally wedged her spatula in between Ranma and Shampoo and was now jumping up and down on it in an attempt to separate them. Ranma was saying "Come on, come on! You're not heavy enough!" and she shouted back "I'm trying!" Kimiko looked at Yunshin. He shrugged. Akane was distracted by Shampoo, who was now starring hard at Hikaru.
"Akane...is you baby?"
"Yeeeaah," Akane said suspiciously.
"Aiya!" She put her hands to her face and Ukyo and Ranma fell to the ground. "He so old! The Japanese grow babies too too weird."
The conversation was stopped by a rustling in the dumpster a few feet away. Kuno pulled himself up, looking confused and pulling rotten banana peels off his head. His gaze landed on Ranma and he leaped forward, landing in front of Akane.
"Evil king, I have received your challenge!" He swung his bokken toward Ranma.
Ranma dusted himself off. "Yeah, well, did you catch the part where I won?"
"Ha! You think a weak man such as yourself—"
Ranma kicked him in the face. "Shut up. Never mind you, I've got a question: how did all of you find out, anyway?"
Shampoo said, "Nabiki Tendo." Akane groaned.
Kuno and Ukyo answered at the same time: "Shampoo."
Basically, here's the story: after Shampoo had emptied her pockets to the middle Tendo daughter, Nabiki had said, "Ranma's out with Akane." And that was it. Shampoo had then run around town, crashing into every building Ranma and Akane might be in and then leaving a large hole in the wall as she went on to the next place. As a result, everyone who had ever been in those buildings with Ranma and Akane now knew Akane was back in town and all were eager to see her, for one reason or another. The masses had quickly followed Shampoo out the hole in the wall and had begun their own search...which would explain the gentle roar in the distance and the generally unsettled disposition of the morning shoppers as they hurried home and away from the new crowd.
"My my," Kuno said as the roar loudened.
"Why there so many people coming this way?" Shampoo asked.
Kimiko raised an eyebrow. Yunshin leaned forward expectantly. Hikaru held tighter to his mother.
Akane looked at Ranma. He nodded.
Ukyo swallowed, watching the mouth of the alley worriedly. "You two had better get outta here before it's too late, or else you'll have to deal with a whole lot of crazy." She turned back to them. "Did you hear me, I—where'd they go?"
Shampoo and Kuno turned as well.
"Aiya, they disappear!"
"Foul king of beasts!"
Two men saw where they went, one sitting on the roof next door, the other standing on the sidewalk across the street. The first wore a white tank top and dark pants. His smile looked more like a leer. "Well, now, was that dear Akane?" He said to no one in particular.
The second man wore a black suit, hat, and sunglasses. His mustache twitched. He turned and walked down the street.
"I knew this would happen," Ranma ground his teeth together as he ran.
"If you knew it then why didn't you do something about it?" Akane cried back in irritation.
"What the heck was I supposed to do about it?"
"They're your fiancées!"
"They are not all my fiancées!"
"Try telling them that!"
"Hey, Kuno was there to see you, not me!"
"He wouldn't have been there if it hadn't been for your stupid fiancée!"
"Yeah, I know—you!"
They ran from rooftop to rooftop, and Ranma was silently impressed that Akane was keeping up. Yunshin and Kimiko were both tucked up under Ranma's arms and his hands were full of shopping bags. Akane had transferred Hikaru to under her arm as well in order to run more easily, her other hand full of bags. Looking back, no one was visibly following them, but they felt in their bones that if they slowed down, even for a second, someone would catch up.
The hair rose on the back of Ranma's neck and he couldn't help but screech to a halt. Akane stopped beside him.
"Do you feel that?" He asked.
"Yeah...it feels like..."
"Evil."
They swallowed. Ahead of them, in a dark cloud of blacks and purples, was a figure. It was small, but its size meant nothing. On its back was a large sack, stuffed to bursting with women's underwear.
Happosai beamed. "Akane, my sweet! How I've missed you!" He hurled himself at Akane...or at least where Akane had been. Happosai blinked. Ranma whipped his head around, but she was completely gone. He couldn't even sense a sort of presence that told him she was close by. She had simply vanished into thin air.
"Now, now, sweetness, don't be shy!" Happosai called out. "Come to Happy!"
"Who's being shy?" Voice and woman appeared from nowhere and roundhouse kicked Happosai back the way they'd come. "Ack!" Akane gasped when she saw blurs of martial artists heading toward them. Ranma didn't look back but just stared at her.
He frowned. "How did you do that?"
She smiled. "Do what?" She jumped from the roof to the street. He followed. They quickly regretted this decision when they saw the mob of women, who had been following Happosai, running towards them head-on .
"Waah! Run!" Ranma led the way down a side street.
"Where are we going?" Akane asked.
"Home!"
"What! How's that a good place?"
"You got any better ideas?"
A few turns later, a couple dodges of pitch forks and other random debris, and the Tendo dojo was in sight. Just as Ranma and Akane were deciding to drop the kids off to get them out of the way before they led the chase back through town, they noticed a figure standing outside the gates. Nabiki Tendo stood, using a hammer to soundly pound a post into the ground. Just as Ranma and Akane reached her she hung a homemade sign up.
The sign read, "Anyone not related BY BLOOD to the Tendos are hereby FORBIDDEN to enter the Tendo compound without an appointment made by Nabiki Tendo. All who fail to do this will be FINED HEAVILY by Nabiki Tendo or otherwise PUNISHED. The following is a list of those who may believe themselves to be related but who ARE NOT:
-Tatewaki Kuno
-Shampoo
-Happosai
-Mr. Saotome
This sign is approved by Nabiki Tendo; I dare you to step on my property."
"Nabiki," Ranma began with an emotional sniff.
"I love you," Akane finished.
"Sure thing, sis."
The mob of stalkers stopped a few feet back from the sign and each person silently read it. A few of the lesser beings grumbled to themselves and walked away one by one. The regulars (Shampoo, Kuno, etc.) didn't really know what to do. Ranma felt quite giddy about it.
He stuck his tongue out. "Mwahahaha! Suckers!" He jumped back and forth, from the front to the back of the sign. "Now you can get me, now you can't. Now I'm in danger, now I'm totally safe! Bwahaha!"
"He's not very smart, is he?" Kimiko, who had been set down next to her brother moments earlier, said.
"Nope. He's not so bad, though." Yunshin answered while watching the older man dodge projectiles from a blind duck.
Nabiki had already taken Hikaru inside and Akane now gathered the last of the shopping bags. She looked towards the topic of her two eldest children's conversation. A smile slowly spread across her face before laughter began to escape.
"What's so funny, mom?" Yunshin asked.
"I don't know!" She laughed harder. "Ha ha! Goodness, I missed him!" Ranma whipped his head around. Just as a smile began to slide onto his own face he was hit upside the head by a porcelain sink.
"Come on," Akane said through a chuckle, "Drag him inside, will you?"
Kimiko skipped after her mother, offering her brother no assistance with the fallen man. The rest of the crowd continued to stand there in shock, completely astonished at being thwarted by someone who didn't actually know any martial arts.
"You know...I don't think she likes me very much."
"Who, Kimi? Don't worry, she hates everyone."
"She doesn't hate Kasumi. Or Nabiki. Or Mr. Tendo. Or even my pops."
"Hey, yeah, you're right. That's pretty weird, she usually doesn't like people."
"Is it something I did?"
"Could be. Could just be your hair or the color of your eyes. You never know what sets her off."
"What do I do about it?"
"Why do you care? Just ignore her."
"You two idiots realize I can hear everything you're saying?"
Ranma and Yunshin, who were lying on their stomaches in a bush in the back yard, pretended they weren't there. Kimiko sat at the edge of the pond and threw bits of rice cake to the koi, pretending that she didn't know they were there. Hikaru was next to her with a stick in hand and desperately tried to poke a fish as they rose to the surface to eat. Soun sat on the porch, smiling and nodding and not quite sure how to actually participate.
Kasumi slid the back door to the side. "Ranma, can you come upstairs?"
Ranma stood from his bush. "Me?"
"Yes, you." She smiled patiently.
"Erm, not me, Kasumi?" Her father pointed to himself, feeling like he should probably be apart of the family conversation seeing as he was head of the house.
"No, that's all right. You watch the children, Father."
"Hmm, yes, of course, that's my job, watch the children! I'm very good at it, too." He nodded in reassured agreement with himself.
Ranma left the kids to whatever they were doing and walked into the house, pulling leaves from his hair. He followed Kasumi up the stairs to Nabiki's room and and waited while she gave a polite knock before entering. Nabiki sat in her desk chair and Akane knelt on the floor next to the door. Kasumi took her place at the foot of Nabiki's bed. The three had disappeared after lunch, leaving Soun and Ranma with the children (Genma having snuck away after reading the sign out front and feeling his empty pockets). They'd been holed up in Nabiki's room to talk about who-knows-what for hours now.
Ranma stood in the doorway, not really sure what he was supposed to be doing there.
"Shut the door, Ranma," Nabiki said, "And for heaven's sake sit down."
With an amused smile Nabiki watched her little sister tense up as Ranma sat cross-legged beside her. Nabiki didn't think he'd noticed, considering he was busy tensing up himself. Akane, Akane, she thought with her chin in her palm, I think your little trip may have sent your relationship backwards.
"Now, Ranma," Nabiki said to him. "How would you feel if we reopened the dojo?"
It was quiet. All eyes were on him.
"What d'ya mean?" He asked. "I thought it was open."
"I don't mean for rent. Well, we'll leave that open for nights and weekends as well, but no. I meant for students."
His eyebrows shot up. "Students?" He looked at each of the Tendo girls before stopping on Akane. "You're going to take students?"
She nodded.
"Hey," Nabiki brought his attention back to her. "Believe it or not, the Tendo dojo once had quite a good reputation. There used to be plenty of students training in the school, and plenty more who wished they were. The Tendos were one of the most well known masters of the Anything Goes Martial Art, but, well, the line sort of died out with daddy dearest and his three daughters. He taught for a while, but all that time with Happosai didn't make him the best of teachers. I suppose we could say he was enthusiastic but that was pretty much it." Kasumi gave a little shake of the head and Akane sighed. "Well, Ranma, we all know that that's where you come in."
"Me?"
"Yes, oh wise one, you. You weren't just daddy's friend's kid, you were also from a well known line of Anything Goes experts. I don't know if daddy thought that far ahead, but it's awful convenient now. At this point, with this new generation of martial artists, the name of Saotome is far wider known than Tendo."
"...What are you getting at, exactly?"
Akane turned to him slightly. "Help me run the dojo."
He stared at her. "What?" He said blankly.
Nabiki crossed her legs. "Ranma, you're a great martial artist. Your name alone could put this dojo back on the map."
He scoffed. "So I'm like a giant advertisement."
"Yep." Nabiki said bluntly. "Pretty much."
"Nabiki," Kasumi chastised softly.
"Who says I could even get customers?" Ranma asked.
Akane snorted. "Are you kidding me? People hunt you down from every far corner of the earth, and you don't think people know your name well enough to be interested? You've defeated gods and demons and ancients masters...you're good, Ranma, much better than me, and without your help I'm not sure we'd be able to reopen the dojo at all." Her voice, which had started out scathing, had calmed to a serious sincerity. She was looking directly at him, now, and he looked back, searching her eyes.
He looked away and took a deep breath. "All right. I'll help. It's not like I've got something better to do with the rest of my life."
"Oh, wonderful!" Kasumi said. Akane smiled.
"Excellent," Nabiki was all business again, "I'll start some advertising. You two will start fixing up the dojo, gutting it out and remodeling it for actual martial arts instead of old ladies' business parties. You'll get paid, of course,Ranma, although we'll be docking you for food and board—"
"Nabiki," Kasumi cut in.
"All right, fine. It'll be split, half and half. You two will worry about everything that has to do with the martial arts. Kasumi will run finances and worry about renting out the dojo, like she always has. I'd love to, but I've got college and other businesses to run." No one bothered to ask her what these were (because, frankly, they were a little bit scared and didn't really want to know), so she continued. "I'll help getting you set up, and then it's up to you three. Sound fair?"
The three looked at each other before agreeing.
"Well, then, that's settled. I'm kind of hungry, anybody else?"
"Oh!" Kasumi jumped up. "Yes, I'll get dinner started."
Ranma and Akane were also getting to their feet when Nabiki said, "Akane, can you stay for a minute?"
Ranma left them to themselves, shutting the door behind him.
"Good job, sis," Nabiki said after she was sure he was gone. "I thought that was a good idea."
She smiled. "Thanks."
"You sure you can handle it, though?"
"Oh, I'm sure there will be problems, but between us three—"
"I meant are you sure you can handle working with Ranma?"
Akane chuckled. "Guess I'll find out."
Nabiki paused, looking at her grown up little sister and worrying. "What about Ranma?"
"Oh, please, he'll be fine. His ego alone can keep him running for days. Besides, about time he put himself to good use, and I thought he was ok with the idea, didn't you?"
"...That's not what I meant."
Akane stopped and looked back at her. "I...hadn't thought about it."
"You never were very good at lying, were you?"
Outside the Tendo household the sun was beginning to set and the sky was turning pink. A small breeze blew orange and yellow clouds across the sky and stirred the trees. A young man in a white tank top and black pants, a heavy pack on his back, sat atop the outside wall, looking in. Soun Tendo was currently chasing a small boy across the grass while across the yard Yunshin and Kimiko stood outside the dojo, throwing punches. As the man watched, Akane came outside and called everyone in. The man on the wall smiled as she went to the sparring pair and broke it up. She entered the house after her father, but stopped in the doorway, scanning the yard with narrow eyes. She looked at the man on the wall twice, but, just as the man expected, she didn't see anything. She shook her head and walked inside. Yunshin skipped behind. Kimiko was just sliding the door shut when she stopped and scanned the yard as well, frowning suspiciously. In the house her mother called again and the girl shut the door.
"Well," Said the man on the wall. "Like mother, like daughter. Oh, looky, looky—is that a dojo I see? Tsk, tsk, Akane, you make it too easy..."
A/N: Welp. If you liked, review. Do it. Come on, guys, I need motivation.