I apologise for the slowness of this chapter. I did finish it earlier, but January was a busy month. Both my beta-chan and I were busy, busy people with our exams. But I also finished Chapter 16, so it'll be out sooner. Probably not till after Valentine's Day though.
I also have a few drabbles on the side, on Team 7 in Sakura's POV. They're nothing amazing, but I like them.
On another note my birthday will be in 6 days from now!!!
Notice: I am attempting to reach 1000 reviews, each review will be greatly appreciated. Thanks for your cooperation!
It had been three days, the three longest days in Tenten's life. Beyond the cave's entrance the blizzard swirled, occasionally allowing a cold wind to drift into the cave. Her weapons all lay at her feet polished until they all shone and there was not even a speck of rust on them. And she was well unto polishing them for a third time.
Lee on the other hand was trying to keep himself occupied by training in what limited space there was. He managed to convince himself that if he did a thousand pushups in one minute the snow would clear… suffice to say his constant counting was slowly beginning to irritate her. Neji on the other hand was meditating silently just beside her, only the steady rise and fall of his chest indicating that he was indeed still alive.
Tenten lurched awkwardly to her feet, her legs having fallen asleep from remaining in one position for too long. As she tried to ignore the tingling pins and needles in her legs, she wondered how much longer they'd be cooped up inside here.
"The snow looks like it's letting up," Lee gestured outside.
"I think I'll go rest," Tenten said. Neither of her teammates replied both of them simply continuing what they had been doing before she'd spoken, lost in their own thoughts. By the time either of them realised she had spoken, she was already in the tent, quietly sleeping.
She woke up that morning to find that indeed Lee had been correct to some degree. While she had been sleeping the snow had let up a little. They would be able to leave soon, although they would have to dig a tunnel through the snow to the surface.
Lee made quick work of the snow blocking the entrance and soon they were travelling again. They would be home soon, and that hope raced in her veins. Still as she ran just off to the left of Neji she couldn't help but smile sadly. She knew that they would not be returning to comfort but rather to a choice that could only end in heartbreak.
A week later when they passed through the border, they overheard the border guards talking about how recently a nobleman had been found assassinated in his own home.
"It's good for them nobles to sweat a bit, if the Tsuchikage wants to assassinate a traitorous noble bastard let 'im go ahead."
"Yeah keep them nobles jumping, we could do without a few," Another man joked.
Still as the guards joked about the murdered noble, Tenten wondered whether Minoru Yamada-san had returned home safely. The guards did a brief search and soon Team Gai was out of the Land of Earth and on their way home.
Even though their mission was almost done and they were out of danger, Tenten could not seem to quell the feelings of unease lodged somewhere in her chest. Still when Neji signalled them to move out, she couldn't help but notice he stood straighter than usual and his glance was direct and unyielding.
For a moment she wished Lee wasn't there, so she could say something to him, comfort him… tell him it would be okay… even if he knew it was a god-damned lie. Because they both needed those small lies so they could live with themselves. Live with their breach of loyalty and obligation, and promises that they had meant every word of, but could never keep.
It was night but Tenten remained awake even as her teammates slumbered on beside her. With a sigh she got up and left the tent, there was no sleep for her tonight. So instead she sat and gazed blankly up at the sky.
She wasn't sure how much later it was when someone shook her out of her concentration. "Neji?" She whispered softly towards the dark figure emerging from the tent.
He turned to look directly at her. "Why are you out here?" His voice was carefully controlled.
"I couldn't sleep," she admitted.
He came closer to her, kneeling a bit before her. His face was now level with hers. Her eyes automatically settled on his lips watching as they remained still.
"Neji… I… will you kiss me?" He looked like he was going to turn away so she added in an even softer tone. "Please?" His lips grazed hers for the briefest of seconds and then he pulled back. "Please…" her voice is hoarse and she doesn't even really remember what she's begging for but despite that Neji understands somehow.
The meeting of lips is furious and teeth clash hungrily. Her hands are pulling him tight against her, as if she can't bear to let him go. When finally his lungs protest Neji pulled away gently, watching in amazement as tears formed in her eyes.
After a moment, something wet trickled down her cheek and she touched it thoughtfully with a fingertip. How strange. She's crying but she can't remember why.
"I…" She's searching for words, ignoring the salty liquid flowing down her cheeks. "I'm sorry." She finally sobbed softly, her head pressed into his shoulder. "I'm so sorry."
There is nothing he can say, because no words will make this right. When finally she calmed down Neji picked her up, cradling her in his arms for a few brief seconds before bringing her inside the tent and laying her down beside Lee who was still snoring peacefully, dreaming of his undying loyalty to Gai-sensei.
"Sleep now…" Neji murmured into thick clouds of brown hair. Sleepily she nodded and curled in closer, desperate for warmth and even more than that for companionship because the loneliness itself is almost as painful as the loss. "I love you…" she's fairly sure she dreamed that.
When she woke up that morning her tears were dried to her face and as she rubbed her hands furiously against her cheeks to get rid of the tracks the tears had made, she also knew that in a way she was punishing herself for giving in, for being weak.
The next night they stayed at an inn and had the good fortune of running into Team 8 on their way back from a mission. As the two teams ate their food, Tenten finally felt the exhaustion from the night before catch up with her. It was all she could do not to lay her head down on the table and fall asleep.
Still once she finished eating she lowered her head to the table supporting it with her arms. She listened drowsily to the conversations until she heard Neji ask, "Hinata-sama?"
"Yes, Neji-niisan?" Hinata answered immediately, her voice soft.
"Could you perhaps help Tenten up to your room? She is quite fatigued and has not been feeling well recently." The others at the table said nothing and for a moment there was silence. Tenten blearily opened her eyes but the others chose to pretend that she was still asleep.
"I will, Neji-niisan." Hinata nodded. "Perhaps I myself shall retire as well. I will see you tomorrow, Shino-kun, Kiba-kun." Hinata said her goodnights to her two teammates before placing a hand on Tenten's shoulder. "Would you like to go to bed Tenten-chan? You seem quite tired." Hinata's voice was quiet but warming.
Tenten stood up and quietly said goodnight to her teammates, before following Hinata up the stairs to the room that they were staying in. Neji and Lee she knew were staying in another room a few doors down and the rest of Team 8 was in the room next door.
As she prepared for bed she saw Hinata glance at her nervously before looking away. "Yes Hinata-chan?" Tenten asked when she realised her shy friend wanted to say something but was too shy to speak.
"Um… are you and Neji-niisan in a-anyway I-invol-involved?" Hinata phrased it delicately and she stuttered slightly. Hinata nowadays only stuttered when she was nervous or around Naruto, which probably were pretty much the same thing Tenten decided.
For a moment she was silent, she couldn't burden someone else with this knowledge. But despite that the words slipped out. "We were once but we're not really anymore," Tenten replied as honestly as she could. Tenten carefully undid the ties in her hair before glancing at Hinata again. "Is that all?"
"Do you l-love him?" Hinata asked even more quietly.
"It wouldn't work out," She told the younger girl. "He's engaged."
"I did not ask why," Hinata said her voice a little more determined. "I asked if you loved him."
"It doesn't matter if I love him," she told Hinata hopelessly. "He has his duty to the Hyuuga and I have my duty to him as his partner and as his teammate, but not as his lover anymore."
Hinata was silent and her head was bowed gazing at her hands in her lap. Tenten casually stripped to her underclothes before pulling on an old shirt she used for sleeping. "For how long?"
"Since the mission on the day of the discussions," her reply was a little curt and Hinata's head shot up to glance at her as if shocked.
"Then why is he still engaged?" Hinata asked.
"Because if Neji obeys the Hyuuga Elders they're more likely to appoint him the Clan Head and because even if they don't appoint him Clan Head his marriage with Hanako-san will give the Hyuuga more wealth, prestige and allies.
"It doesn't matter if I'm an amazing kunoichi, or if I'm loyal to Konoha. I have nothing to offer to the noble house of Hyuuga. I have no family, no allies and no wealth. And it doesn't matter if I love him, or if he loves me because I'm not going to be the one to hold him back from his dream."
As she finished her tirade, she saw that Hinata was quietly crying into her own hands. "I'm so sorry Tenten-chan. I really, really am." Hinata sobbed.
"Hinata-chan, please don't cry if anything it should be me crying. You didn't do anything it's not your fault. Neji and I both knew that at best anything we had together would be short-lived." Tenten knelt on Hinata's bed and wrapped her arms around her.
"I love him and because I love him, I'll let him go. This is what he wants," she spread her hands out gesturing around her. Tenten looked as if she were pleading, Hinata thought.
"This… being the Hyuuga Head, changing it for the better. So I will support him, I'll defend his weaknesses, I'll love him from the shadows but I won't be with him." There was nothing to say, because there was nothing that could be said. So Tenten hugged her younger friend while she cried, and held back her own tears.
"Hinata-chan?" Tenten asked much later, when she had finally climbed into her own bed.
"Yes?" Hinata had replied, her voice only a little hoarse from crying.
"Well you obviously know that this is a secret, but if you tell anyone…"
"You don't need to worry Tenten-chan. No one will hear it from me," Hinata replied immediately. "Goodnight."
Tenten murmured her own goodnight and then once Hinata was sound asleep she succumbed to the tears that had been burning in her eyes and in her heart since she had first started speaking. And as she rolled over to bury her face in her pillow to muffle the wretched sobs tearing from her own throat she realised that this was the first night she had slept without Neji in a long while.
The next night they were in Konoha, Team Gai sat patiently on a bench despite the late hour, while they waited for Team 8 to finish their report to the Hokage. After a half-hour Team 8 emerged and said a few brief goodnights to them, saying that Tsunade-sama was waiting for them.
In the Godaime Hokage's office, Tsunade-sama sat at her desk, resting her head on her hands. Beside her Shizune, her apprentice was sorting through a few documents. "Ah, good evening Team Gai, how was your mission?"
Neji gave an oral report of their mission before handing the document that they had received from Yamada-san. The Hokage looked it over and paled slightly, then handed it over to Shizune to read.
"I think that will be everything," Tsunade said recovering her appearance and giving them an obvious dismissal.
"I will hand in the written report tomorrow afternoon, Hokage-sama," Neji added.
"Yes, yes I'll be waiting…" the Godaime Hokage's mind was clearly elsewhere.
As they left Tenten heard Tsunade saying to Shizune. "Our entire branch in Iwagakure is compromised… who's in charge of the intelligence…" Then she heard no more.
Hinata was waiting for her cousin on the bench that previously they had been waiting on. "Are you ready to go home now, Neji-niisan?" she asked.
Neji nodded before turning to face Tenten and Lee, "Goodnight. Tenten I'm afraid I won't be able to train tomorrow morning."
"It's okay," she waved him off. "I'll just join Lee and Gai. Goodnight Neji, Hinata-chan."
"Goodnight, Tenten-chan," Hinata said softly her pale eyes locking on Tenten for a second and then the two cousins were gone, leaving just her and Lee behind.
"See you tomorrow, Lee," Tenten smiled gently.
"Night, Tenten-chan!" Lee exclaimed and then he too was gone.
Tenten sighed and carefully made her way down the empty streets of Konoha. She was headed home and she could expect to find only loneliness waiting there for her.