Chapter3

Disclaimer: disclaimer- disclaimer: I own nothing but my own idea. All the character and the story line etc, belong to STEPHANIE MEYERS.

This chapter is going to have some dream parts. If you don't get it tell me so I can explain or fix it or something. R&R please!

I really didn't want to eat anything especially not anything freeze dried. I just grabbed a sleeping bag and lay down. I watched the trees dance in the wind. They were hypnotic the way the flowed with the wind. I started slipping into sleep. My mind was being taken to a different world. I saw Jacob running in the forest. But he was he reddish brown wolf. He would stop and howl in pain and then keep running. He suddenly stopped and turned to look directly at me. At my soul. He walked to me and laid his head on my shoulder. He was whimpering. I started to stroke his fur softly. I kissed his the top of his furry head. Then he started changing into Jacob again. "Bella. Oh Bella I love you!" he cried. Then I just cried and held onto him. Then Edward came. "Bella, please come with me. I love you!" he whispered. Jacob growled. "No Bells. Stay with me. I need you! You need me!" I stood up and looked at both of them. Edward facing, and baring teeth to, Jacob who had already turned into his beautiful wolf-self. "You must choose Bells" I heard Billy's voice said flutter in the air. "Life or Death. It has always been your choice." I started shaking and sobbing. "I don't know what to do. I love them both!" I cried out to the moon.

"Bella! Bella!" Quil said shaking me so I would wake up. I jumped up and noticed I was still crying. I had to choose. I knew that it was going to be the hardest thing I ever has to do. Sam knelt beside me and placed his heavy hands on my shoulders.

"We must go now. I found him. He doest not believe that you are here too. So we have to go to him. Are you ready?" Sam stared into me. All I could do was whimper and nod. I was still shaking from the dream. "I'm sorry Edward. I love you!" was all I could think at that moment. Sam grabbed the bags and did one nod in Quils' direction. Quil jumped up and grabbed me. We were all silent as we started to walk. Of course I tripped on air and what seemed like everything else as well.

I allowed my mind to wonder back to the dream. I could feel the cool wind caressing my cheek. I closed my eyes and took in the air. Quil was behind me and Sam in front. I felt Sam glance back a few times at me. I think to see if I had stopped crying yet. I hadn't. And I did not plan on stopping any time soon. I just needed Jacob. I needed to see him, hold him, to love him. I was back to when Jacob and I use to hang out all the time. I could talk to him so easy. I miss those times, even with the aching hole in my heart.

I was knocked back into reality when I fell and Quil caught me.

"You ok Bella? You keep crying and falling. Do you want me to carry you?" Quil said in a soft whispering voice.

"I'm so sorry." I managed to say between sobs. He shot a desperate look at Sam who only shrugged. Sam looked around while I wiped more mud off my pants.

"This looks like a good place for the rest of the night. How are you hanging in there Bella?" He said pulling a twig from my hair. I said nothing. Quil was already putting out a tent and sleeping bag for me. Sam turned to start a fire. "You want something to eat? There is plenty of this food." Sam chuckled. Again I said nothing. I grabbed the sleeping bag and crawled into the tent. I just lay there looking into nothing. I hope I can sleep tonight.

Time seemed to slow down. I could hear Sam and Quil talking. "Did you find him Sam?" Quil tried to whisper. "Yea he was about 150 miles south of here. So tomorrow we run. He said he will only wait until midnight tomorrow. I figure we leave in about 3 hours. We should get there in 6 hours." Sam said in a soft monotone voice that was a little scary. I shuddered to think what was going through his mind. I felt sleep blow against my face and I welcomed it. Suddenly I was in a dream world full of white fog. I was walking in the woods and the wind blew hard. I was light as a feather moving like a leaf against the wind. Then I landed in a clearing in a forest where the sun started to peek between the trees. I looked up to see patches of blue against the multicolored trees. I smiled slightly, watching the leaves play joyfully with the wind. There was still fog covering the forest floor. I heard footsteps slowly coming toward me. Then Jacob appeared in front of me. He stood on his hunches with the reddish brown hair on its ends. Then I shuddered and Edward walked up from behind me growling low.

"She's mine dog. Leave us alone. She has already made her choice!" Edward hissed. I stared in shock. I was not property!

"Let her choose now leech!" A grumbling snarl came from where Jacob stood. "She has a mind of her own. She does not belong to you, filthy bloodsucker!" I smiled to myself without showing. I needed help. Where were Sam and Quil? I called out for them. "Sam please help. Please help him. Don't let anything happen to my Jake!" I heard myself scream. Then I felt myself being shaken hard.

"Bella! Bella! Are you ok? What are you screaming about?" Quil asked me. I was in the air. I looked around. I realized that I had screamed out loud.

"I- I don't know." I said flushing bright red. I couldn't believe that I first of all scream outside of my dream and second of all that I chose. I chose Jacob. I started crying again. Quil handed me to Sam shaking his head. Sam shrugged his shoulders but he knew what I was going through inside. He had a similar situation between Leah and Emily. I looked up into his eyes and he only nodded slightly.

"We are going to leave in a little while Bella. Do you want to eat something or drink something before we go?" Sam was trying to distract me from the dream. I shook my head. I started gathering my things when I saw something in the distance move. Whatever it was moved so fast I thought it was my imagination. Then it moved again. I glanced behind me and Quil was the only one there. I figured that it was Sam scouting ahead. By the look of the sky it must have been early morning. The sun was not up yet but the dew had already fallen. I sat on over turned tree. After what seemed like forever Sam and Quil came to pick up the bags. We were off again. I walked or more like stumbled. Sam was whispering to Quil.

"We are going to change soon. You can ride on me and Quil will carry the bags." Sam said to me. I was spacing out. I was scared that Jacob would hate me. I was scared that I would hurt him again. I starting thinking that maybe I should just lose myself in the woods. I mounted Sam and held tightly trying not to pull on his soft black fur. Then we were off. I held on and lowered myself close to his back. My mind started to wonder again and all I could think about was Jacob's face. The face he made every time I hurt him. I knew I loved him. I knew that I wanted him to be in my life. I had been denying it so long that now it seems so obvious that we would end up together. We stopped suddenly and I realized that the sun was above us. I hopped off Sam's back and landed on the ground with a thud. I turned my back and kicked at a rock as they changed back. It felt so unreal to be out here looking for Jacob. My thoughts were interrupted by Quil.

"You hungry Bella?" Quil asked me. I nodded. My stomach growled and everyone chuckled lightly. Sam vanished into the woods to hunt as he said "some real food". I looked at Quil who was busying himself with the fire.

"Quil, can I ask you something?" I broke the silence. Quil jumped a little and slowly turned to face me. He had a quizzical look on his face. Then he only nodded his head. I took a deep breathe.

"You know that I love him right?" I didn't wait for an answer or understanding. I just needed to get this off my chest. "I know that if it were not for Edward we would be together. I know that we are soul mates. We talked about it the last day I saw him." I stopped abruptly trying to swallow sobs that were creeping into my throat. Quil said nothing, he only stood there waiting for me to finish. "I just don't want to hurt anyone. I am being so selfish. I think Jacob was right. That Edward is a drug to me. Even that night when I left his house I pulled over because I was crying so hard. Edward came to me but there was something inside me that was screaming or aching for Jacobs arms. Does that make me a monster?" I blinked and took a breath. Tears were streaming down my face already. Quil just stood there, thinking hard.

"Well Bella. I think that you are tearing yourself up to make a choice. I can't make it for you but you are going to have to look at what is good for you. And how each person makes you feel. I would suggest talking to Sam. You know he had to go through something like that with Leah and Emily." He said in one breath. He sighed and continued to pile more wood on the fire.

I knew that he really did not want to talk about this. I saw something move in the distance. I stood up fast and Quil just looked at me. I was still so scared. Not scared of something coming to kill me but I was scared that it would be Jacob. I'm not scared of him but of what I have to face when I see him. I sighed. I looked around me to see what Quil was doing but he wasn't there. I searched all around to look for him or Sam but found nothing. I heard more rustling in the distance. I swallowed hard then I started for the place where I heard the noise.