Summary: The scorching sun. The sandy dunes. The long ass river. The kind of place you do NOT want to get lost in. Add the boys, mix in Egypt and what do you get? A heap load of trouble with free sunburns! Awesome… WARNING: BEWARE OF CROCODILES!
Word Count: 5,864
Rain's A/N: Well… we're still alive! XD Thought we forgot about this, huh? DENIED! Of course we didn't! Just life's been kicking both Vix and me in the ass… mostly me. XP What with school and work and general shit… yeah… no time whatsoever! However, we are here now and we have come to you with Chapter 2 of this cracky fic! The boys actually get along better in this one… a little… Sweet, ne? Anyway, I hope you all enjoy this and forgive the fact that we just left this fic for… nearly a half year! XD I know… we suck. But anyway! Enjoy!
Vix's A/N: Oh my GOSH we're BACK. BWAHAHAHAHA~ Took us forever, right? XD Well we've had our own troubles, but we came back! And with our lovely, smexy, beaaauuuutiful and crazy men-men! 8D This time… we're changing scenes and making almost no progress as usual in the storyline! XD Why, you ask? Because there is no storyline! Gosh darn it boys, hurry it up already! We're gonna be old and gray before you two get to even holdin' a conversation without wanting to strangle each other! XD Anyway, hope you enjoy this! Serious a bit, silly way too much, and CRACK-TASTIC TO TOP IT ALL OFF~! Hope you like your cheese!
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Chapter Two: Is It Hot Enough for You?
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Vix: So Rain. Where shall we drop the boys off this time? :Puts on sunglasses: I think it should be a hot spot. Someplace really out there!
Rain: Why the heat? :Glares at Vix: Somewhere cold would be WAAAAAY better!
Vix: Well Miss Hates-the-Sun, don't you think seeing them suffer in the heat has its major plusses? Sweating, shirtlessness…. :Trails off and smirks:
Rain: But the cold leads to cuddles and "body heat" which is always better than actual heat. :Gags a little: It's nasty.
Vix: True, true! :Nods: Well then, how shall we settle this?
Rain: Um… random numbers! If you choose the right one, you get the heat and I'll just have to wait for the next time for my Winter Wonderland! :Smiles sweetly: Now, I'm thinking of a number between one and three. Now choose! :Smirks: You'll never guess what it is!
Vix: …I'm really tempted to say 1.6, but that would mean I'd lose. So two! Because I CAN count, ha-HA!
Rain: Rats! Curses! Foiled again! :Hangs head in shame: You win again, O Twisted One. But next time, you won't be so lucky! :Epic fail on ancient villain lines:
Vix: You can never defeat me, O Mighty Raindrop! You should know this by now! :Heroic pose and laughter!: …anyway! :Claps hands: Bunnies! Take them to Egypt!
Rain: Egypt? Why Egypt? Are you making fun of my love for their culture? I swear… if you are… :Punches fist into hand:
Vix: :Points: Be careful not to break a nail. o.o And nope! O: I always wanted to go. Never went. SO THEY SHALL GO FOR ME! 8D
Rain: …WELL OKAY THEN! Bunny rabbits of doom, go and DESTROY! :3
Magical Bunnies: :Receive the message and go to tell the other bunnies to drop off the boys in Egypt!:
A small town northwest of the Tigris River in Egypt.
Cloud: :Dropped head first into a sand pit: … :Stuck:
Dart: :Dropped into the river:
Cloud: :Legs could be seen squirming about in the air with tiny muffled sounds emanating from him:
Dart: :Surfaces spluttering and looks about wildly: From one lake into ano—OOF! :Smacks up against a rock from the river current: Okay fine! A river then! Not much better! :Crawls out and shakes himself off: At least it's nice and toasty her— :Stares at a pair of flailing legs: …those look vaguely familiar. …aww crap. :Runs over and grabs both of the legs under his arms and pulls!:
What can be seen under the sand.
Cloud: :Hand holding up chin, sour look on face: This is not how I pictured my burial. :Starts getting pulled from other end: What the…? :Goes flying out of sand right onto whoever pulled him: … :Coughs up sand: Thanks.
Oh look! We're above ground now!
Dart: :Pinned under the other man's body, speaks a bit breathlessly: You're welcome! XP
Cloud: That voice… :Slowly turns his head to the other person under him: … :Sees who it is: … :Sits up, stands up, and starts walking away from said… person:
Dart: :Sits up and grabs for his stomach, frowning and calling after him: Gee! You're always so polite, buster! I rescue you from death by embarrassment and you won't even help me to my FEET! DX
Cloud: :Ignores him and continues marching off: Getting involved with him would only cause trouble… it's best if I avoided such a- :Interrupted by the… other:
Dart: IS THIS HOW YOU TREAT THE MAN THAT SAVED YOUR LI- ...DUDE. :Stares: You have a NIIICE ASS! :Noticed it better since falling atop him got the other man's pants soaked through:
Cloud: :Stops dead in his tracks: … :Turns abruptly and races towards Mr. Observant, tackling him whilst slapping his hand right over the other's mouth: Are you trying to make me into your enemy? Do you even realize what you are saying? :Glances around, hoping that not much was heard though… he knows the truth:
Dart: What are yo- AUGH! :Tackled! Has the wind knocked out of him and makes a noise of complaint as the other man covers his mouth. Rolls his eyes at the first question before raising his eyebrows to the second, smirking under the other's hand and nodding pointedly:
Cloud: … :Exasperated sigh: It's official… I hate rabbits. :Gets off from the not-so-subtle man: Let's get out of here. :Still having his hand over the red-armored man's mouth, he tries to hurry them out of sight:
Dart: :Seems quite content to go along now that the other man even bothered to help him up, let alone bring him along. Nevertheless, not too pleased with the hand-over-mouth situation, he shoves his tongue out against the blonde's hand, licking it messily to try to get him to let go:
Cloud: Ignore it. Ignore it. He's just trying to get you to release him. Hold out for a little bit longer and then… oh forget it! :Removes his hand: There. Are you satisfied? You're free. Just… try not to say anything… inappropriate. :Has no hope for this:
Dart: :Shouts at the top of his lungs as soon as he's released: FREEEEDOM! :Turns and places a hand on the other man's shoulder, grinning: Thanks, pal!
Cloud: :Trying to control his massive eye twitching which began not too long ago for some reason or another: Tell me. Why didn't I impale you when I had the chance?
Dart: :Grins and winks at the man: Because I'm just too much fun to have around?
Cloud: :Icy glare: "Fun?" :Shoves the man's hand off his shoulder: I was having more fun with my head in the sand! You're more of a nuisance! :Gathering his composure once again: Look… thank you for helping me but I really think it's time we part ways. I'll stay on this side of the river… :Points drastically: …and you stay on that side!
Dart: No thanks! I already WENT for a swim today. If anything, YOU jump in and take a dip. I'm staying on this side. :Shoots him a look before walking off in the direction he was heading when he tried to leave him: I'm heading further into town to try and find out where we are, and if there's anything to eat. Cause by now even YOUR skinny ass has got to be hungry! :Smiles smugly but keeps going:
Cloud: Is your stomach the only thing you think about? :A tiny rumble in his tummy: But he's right… I am a bit hungry. :Stands there, not moving to the river or to follow the other man: I'd rather argue with Cid on whose hair is brighter…
Dart: :Doesn't look back, whether or not the other man is following, deciding that if it happened twice, the likelihood was that if the bunnies showed up again, that they would put them both back together again: At least there are no giant ridiculous monsters here. :A relieved sigh. Suddenly notices an open counter and doorway to his left under a shady canvas. From inside, delicious smells of exotic foods fill the area. Stopping, he grinned: Well! Looks like I just hit the jackpot! :Strolls inside:
Cloud: :Tummy rumbles once again: This goes against my better judgment but... :Sighs and follows the... dirty-blonde... from a distance:
Dart: :Notices there are no patrons in the shop. Walks through a back door and notices a cook: Hi there! You wouldn't have any manual labor or tedious tasks I could get paid for in food, would ya?
Cook: :Affronted by the intrusion of some random armor wearing pedestrian, but starts speaking excitedly in his language as the Red-Clothed One mentions manual labor. Nodding his head, he takes him by the arm into another dark room:
Cloud: :Peeps head through door seven minutes after watching the red-armored guy walk in: ... :Notices no one there, takes a few steps inside: ...great. He's gone and went to get himself eaten. Figures. :Explores and wanders, more out of curiosity than out of concern for the other traveler, into the dark room: You better be alive, Red. I really wouldn't want you dead if it weren't done so by my hands.
Dart and Cook: :In the middle of a very loud and wild argument:
Cook: :Lots of incoherent babbling:
Dart: I know the Cajun seasoning doesn't belong INSIDE the dough! But if we dip it in HERE—
Cook: :Cuts him off with a sharp outcry, smacking the round pastry from his hand:
Dart: OH COME ON! WHY WON'T YOU EXPERIMENT A LITTLE?
Cook: :INCOHERENT YELLING IN A FOREIGN LANGUAGE:
Dart and Cook: :Completely have not noticed Cloud:
Cloud: :Stares blankly at the two: Should I really interfere? Maybe I should make a run for it before I get involved. :Turns and slowly makes his exit but hears one of them mention a tomato: … :Turns dramatically: Tomato! Why would anyone want to use such a vile ingredient in food! :Eerie silence in the entire room: Crap…
Dart and Cook: :Suddenly stare at Cloud:
Cook: :Shouts and points a large knife at the Spiky-Haired One:
Dart: Hey! You actually tracked me down! See, I knew you couldn't be that bad at finding your way through places! :Grins and then turns to the Cook: Don't worry. He's here for the same reason as me. Hungry as a wildebeest!
Cook: :Lowers his voice slightly and props both his hands on his hips, questioning the Red-Armored One intently for a minute before seeming to become satisfied:
Dart: Aww, you're such a great guy, Aruhiim! :Looks to Cloud: He says you can dig in, too!
Cloud: Actually, I was just about to leave… :Glances at the door, hoping for some miracle, or bunny, to help him get away:
Dart: :Confused look: But…aren't you hungry?
Cloud: :Loud rumble: No…
Dart: Oh. Well then what would you like? :Grins:
Cloud: Give me a glass of water and some bread so I can be on my way. :Waits expectantly:
Dart: ... :Stares at the other man quietly for a long moment: …uhmm… ohhh… okay? :Blinks and stares a bit more: You like chicken? Veggies? I'll make you a berry stir-fry. :Starts cooking it up quickly, humming contently:
Rain: LET THE EYE TWITCHING BEGIN! :Snickers with delight:
Cloud: :Eye twitches madly: Definitely hard of hearing. Just… do whatever you want. You seem to be good at that anyway. :Shakes head whilst sighing, walking rather glumly to some corner table:
Dart: No, no! Come on! You can help me out. :Grins and moves over to the other man, redirecting him to the stove and counter where he's cooking: This way you can point out what you like and don't like, and how MUCH of what you waaaant! See?
Cloud: :Forced to turn on his heel, glaring at the other slightly over his shoulder before allowing himself to be shoved towards the cooking area: Fine. If it'll get you to shut up... what are you making? :Peers down at the contents on the counter:
Dart: :Grins broadly and waves an arm out over the stovetop: Exactly what I said! Berry-vegetable stir fry! And I might as well make some spicy rice to go with thaaat, aaaand…some kind of chicken-y barbeque!
Cloud: :Raises both brows: Uh... "some kind?" You mean... you don't know? :Takes a step back:
Dart: Well, the cook says it's poultry of some kind. :Scratches his head as he grabs the 'bird' and lifts it up by a leg: See? It's bird-like enough. I dunno if it's chicken, but I bet it tastes enough like it! :Reassuring grin:
Cloud: :Swallows back some bile that rose to his throat: That... reminds me of a creature from back home... :Looks away from it: I think I'll pass. :A shade of pale green shrouds his face:
Dart: :Blinks and moves the 'bird' away to arm's length and places it back down on the pan: Well I didn't start cooking it yet! What else d'ya want?
Cloud: :Still squeamish: Ugh... Something to ease my stomach. :Glances at the cook, quirking a brow: Why is he looking at me like that?
Dart: Humm… not too spicy then… Aha! Ginger! Honey-ginger sauce and rice! Man, that'll taste good! And huh? :Glances over his shoulder to the cook: Oh… maybe he… :Stares at the other blonde and ponders: …thinks you have weird hair!
Cloud: :Shrugs: If that'll help with my stomach then fine. :Glaring back at the cook, still conversing with the red one whilst ignoring his comment: Just ask him what's his problem.
Dart: Ginger's good for your stomach, yes. :Nods, and then turns to the cook, shouting something over his shoulder to him:
Cook: :Makes a loud grumble, dismissing the two with a wave of the hand and walks out of the back room into the rest of his restaurant:
Dart: :Turns back to Cloud: Well, he doesn't seem to have a problem with you. Do you have a weak stomach? :Random change of topic:
Cloud: :Glares at cook until he leaves the room: ... :Turns back to the other nuisance: ... :Nods slightly: Yeah... :Remains silent, deciding not to explain any further:
Dart: :Glances at the spiky blonde with curiosity: You okay there, dude?
Cloud: :Nods again: Yeah. :Changes the subject: Is that almost done? :Points to the pot:
Dart: Psh! :Snorts and grins, pulling it off the fire: Yeah! Want a plate or wanna eat it straight out of the pot? :Slips out a large wooden plate and places the pot down atop it: Grab a spoon! Eat, eat! :Urges him, grabbing a spoon and smacking it lightly against the blonde's arm:
Cloud: :Snatches the spoon away: Stop that! :Grabs the plate and pours some rice in it: I hope your cooking is better than your tact. :Takes a spoonful: ... :Silent: ... :Takes another bite:
Dart: :Grinning silently: … :Pushes a plate of the freshly cooked veggies in light berry sauce over to him…sloooowly:
Cloud: :Eyes him cautiously pushing the plate: ... :Snatches that too, adding it to his plate of rice and eating it in a polite yet ravenous manner:
Dart: :Steps sideways away from the blonde, still grinning, and grabs a plate for himself too, sitting down across the table from the other man and shoveling food onto his plate; but hesitates to start: …sooooo. You like?
Cloud: :Stops chewing to glare at the fool: ... :Makes a face as if saying "What do you think?" then continues to chew his food; once the content in his mouth had been swallowed, he speaks: It's decent.
Dart: :Still grinning: Ah-hah~ :Starts to eat himself, so as to avoid any questions, though an amused smirk still lingers over his mouth:
Cloud: :After a few more bites, clears his throat to get the other's attention: What's to drink?
Dart: :Looks up, mouth stuffed with food: … :Swallows his mouthful with some difficulty before getting up and going over to the sink, grabbing a glass, and filling it with some water; walks back to the table and places it down before the other man: There you go! Now just pretend there's some ice in it, and you'll be a-okay! :Sits back down and begins to gobble his food again:
Cloud: :Stares at the glass: ... :Stares at the doofus: ... :Sighs and drinks making a face afterwards: Not exactly refreshing...
Dart: Hey. :Speaks around a mouthful of food: It's the desert! You expect anything less?
Cloud: I expect to leave this place soon. :Look of disgust: You grew up in the wild, didn't you?
Dart: :Pauses in his chewing, tilts his head up as though to think about it, and a split second later nods: Pretty much, yeah. Why?
Cloud: :Narrows eyes as he takes another sip of his water: Just wondering. :Takes a glimpse at the other's eating manners again: Here's something you obviously haven't learned yet. Don't talk with your mouth full. It's rather unsightly.
Dart: :Stares, swallows hard, and smiles crookedly: And now who are you? My mother?
Cloud: :Glares at him: Someone with more sense than you. :Finishes eating, places the plate back on the counter as he heads for the door: Thanks for the food.
Dart: You're welcome? :Blinks: Hey, what about your bill, bud?
Cloud: :Talks over his shoulder: Take care of it, would you? :Steps outside:
Dart: :Stares after him slack-jawed: HEY GET BACK HERE! WHAT AM I? YOUR BOYFRIEND?
Cloud: :Twitches but pretends not to hear and walks away from the restaurant:
Dart: Geez! He really IS acting like a girl! :Scoffs softly and gulps down a few more mouthfuls of food, before grabbing a satchel and a few jars, hurriedly placing the food in there and grabbing whatever else was lying around, figuring they would need it depending on what happened next; runs out just a minute after the spiky haired blonde had left: Hey! Where'd he go? :Looks around frantically:
Cloud: :Walking further in town: There has to be some form of transportation to cross that vast desert in this world... but what? :Sees a random sales person selling camels and walks right pass them: They have strange looking pets, I'll give them that.
Dart: :Spots a familiar bright blob of yellow: AHA! I found him! :Runs him down and grabs hold of his arm as he comes near: Hey, what's the big idea! Leaving me behind like that!
Cloud: :Hears a distant cry: Wait... that's... :Cringes once grabbed: ... :Eyes his arm being ripped from its socket then glares at the culprit responsible: I wasn't aware you wanted to tag along.
Dart: Like Hellena you weren't! But it doesn't matter, I've caught up to you now, and look! :Holds up the satchel: I have supplies!
Cloud: :Shakes himself loose from the daft man, glancing down at the supplies: Seems like you're not completely useless. Fine then. You can come with me... :Walks off in the direction he was going previously before stopping to address the other without turning to face him: ...as long as you don't say anything... stupid. :Begins walking again:
Dart: :Raises his eyebrows and whistles softly, placing the satchel back down comfortably at his side and following the other man: Touchy as woman.
Cloud: :Turns abruptly, removing his sword from underneath his coat, point-blank in the other's face: Also, I would really appreciate it if you dropped the woman jokes. It's starting to piss me off.
Dart: :Puts the back of his hand against the flat of the sword and pushes it away, stepping up to the man: You see, this is exactly what I mean. Why are you so temperamental, so easily upset all the time? Can't you take a joke, get a little lighthearted, eh? Smell the… :Stops and waves an arm around vaguely: Dust?
Cloud: You're jokes are poor at best. :Casually places sword back in sheath: And it's of no concern to you my reasons for acting this way. :Pats away said dust from his clothing: Does this answers your final question?
Dart: Sheesh… finally some sort of reasonable reaction! :Shrugs: It'll have to do, I guess. :Starts to walk on again: So, we heading out into the desert I see. :Notices the town slowly being left behind: Good thing there's a river.
Cloud: :Sighs: Yeah... I was looking for some form of transportation to make it easier on us... however, no such luck. :Sighs once again as he gazes at the river beside them: It'll keep us from dehydrating at the very least.
Dart: Or burning up! :Grins at the other man: And uh… they don't look like they have anything but themselves. :Thinks for a bit, eyeing the river: Maybe boats… :Suddenly winces and glares up at the sky: PHEWHEEE! It's HOT! :Exhales gustily and flaps a hand in his face: Wish I wasn't wearing this armor. :Groans:
Cloud: :Squints his eyes as he looks up: The sun's rays are pretty intense here. Not exactly something I'm too happy about either. :Glances back at the fleeting town behind them: And I checked for boats... I couldn't understand what that villager was saying but I gathered something about a fishing fleet and being gone for a few days... I believe. :Looks at the other with irritation: Must you continue to make that motion? If you can't handle the heat, then go for another swim.
Dart: :Stops abruptly and looks at the other blonde: You know what, that ain't half a bad idea. :Changes direction and walks towards the river with purposeful strides:
Cloud: :Hangs head and shoulders with an exasperated sigh escaping his lips: I always get stuck with the weird ones. :Yells after him: Just don't get lost. I'm not looking for you if you do. :Chooses to continue on land:
Dart: :Already by the riverside, turns as he hears the other man calling, but is unable to make the last half of it out: WHAT?
Cloud: :Groans and walks away without repeating: He'll figure it out soon enough.
Dart: :Sees the other man continue walking and shrugs before stepping into the river, boots and all, figuring that he'll dry faster than he expects once he gets out anyway: Man this is muuuuch better! :Begins walking parallel to the other man, appreciative of the scattered trees around the riverbanks:
Cloud: :Skin turning into a slight shade of crimson from the scorching sun: We couldn't get lost in a mountain region. No. It had to be a desert... :Wipes a bead of sweat off his forehead with the back of his hand:
Dart: :Squelches quite contently through the banks of the river, glancing occasionally to the other male and noticing his discomfort out there; finally, unable to stand watching the poor guy get tortured, he cups his hands around his mouth and raises his voice: Hey! Why don't you come walk under the shade of the trees at least!
Cloud: :Grimaces from the sound of the other's voice: What now? :Listens in to the second part of what the red one said: ... :Sighs: It wouldn't hurt... :Strides over to the trees: This should help a little.
Dart: :Raises a hand to him as he comes near and smiles, a friendly expression on his face: Hey. :A hello, as though they had just met for the first time that day, welcoming him:
Cloud: :Nods in response, walking off silently, staying under the shade as much as being able to:
Dart: :Eyes the other man curiously for a while before stepping out of the river and a little up the bank, where dirt mingles before the sands start: Hey, listen. We got off to the worst start possibly ever, bud. What's say you and me start over a bit now, hmm? :Watches the blonde carefully, trying to read his reaction:
Cloud: :Looks out of the corner of his eyes to the other: Fine. :Looks forward again, not saying anything else:
Dart: Yeesh, you're friendly fella. :Nevertheless, smiles suddenly and moves around behind the blonde and onto the other side of him, into the sun this time: You're not loving the heat, even if it wasn't a desert, huh? :Seemed to notice the man's particular discomfort and the quick change to his complexion when out in the sun:
Cloud: :Narrows eyes: Noticed, did you? :Groans: It's not that I can't handle it. I'm just not one who has taken a liking to it. :Seems to be feeling slightly better from before: I grew up in the mountains... I'm used to cooler climates.
Dart: :Nods slowly and glances at him sympathetically: That would do it. Can't say I don't understand that. I never lived in the hottest of climates myself. And this desert heat… :Glances up squinting at the sky for a second before dropping his head low again and stepping nearer to the shade of the trees: …it'll torment anybody. You ever travel much, outside your home? Nibe… Nibe- what did you say it was? :Looks to him inquisitively:
Cloud: Nibelheim. And remember? I don't live there anymore. :Looks to the other again: I live in Edge. :Scratches the back of his head, removing some sand that blown into his hair before continuing: Though, I don't necessarily "stay" there much. :Shakes his head slowly: So the answer to your question would be "Yes."
Dart: Nibelheim. :Repeats it again slowly to himself a couple of times, to memorize the name properly: You make it sound almost as though you don't really have a place you stay in for long. :Smiles: Thing I can't figure out is whether you do it by choice or if you just haven't found anything to settle for yet. You sure do have the feel of a drifter.
Cloud: :Shrugs: A little of both, maybe. I have reasons for staying there... and yet I have reasons I don't. It's as simple as that.
Dart: :Nods: For some guys, it is. :Doesn't push it any further: So… it's safe to assume you're not attached then. :Gets a knowing smile on his face:
Cloud: :Side glances with a slight frown on his face: Why would I reveal something like that to a stranger? :Narrows his eyes: What's with the grin? Something you want to say yourself?
Dart: Ohh, nothing. :Chuckles to himself: You wouldn't be this delightfully free-willed if you were… :Pauses for dramatic effect: …chained down.
Cloud: :Sighs: I have a feeling you're not going to drop this until you get some sort of answer that's to your liking, correct?
Dart: :Grins: Why continue? I already know what the answer is.
Cloud: :Glares: Good. Then drop it. :Speeds up his walking speed: Idiot...
Dart: :Tilts his head: If it bothers you that much, then why don't you?
Cloud: :Turns abruptly: Don't I what?
Dart: Why don't you get a girl? :Stops to and meets his gaze plainly:
Cloud: :Flame eyes: I am NOT having this conversation with you. :Turns on heel and stomps off:
Dart: :Blinks and follows after a span: Wait, wait. :Catches up to him with a trot: I offended you? :Surprised:
Cloud: :Silently walking in huge strides:
Dart: :Stares sideways at him and then shakes his head, stepping aside a bit to give the other man some room: …not used to being around guys that won't talk about those things without a thought. :Seems apologetic:
Cloud: Hmph... not interested in talking about those things. :Not as irritated as before: So, try to avoid them in the future.
Dart: You're an interesting man. :Nods: I get you, though. :Quieter: I get you. :Silent for a long while, as the sun begins to rise higher in the sky: …is there anything you do talk about? :Looks to him with a jolt of expectancy:
Cloud: :Sighs: Yes. :Hurries along:
Dart: :Waits a few heartbeats… waits a few more…:
Cloud: …
Dart: :Glances a little at the blonde before looking back quickly:
Cloud: :Glances at the other from the corner of his eyes, slowing down so as not to leave him completely behind:
Dart: :Notes the consideration of the other, but after a few more minutes of complete and total SILENCE…: You're as bad as a solitary prison cell! :Sighs outrageously:
Cloud: :Flinches to the sound of his sigh:
Dart: :Stops in his tracks and turns to Cloud, thrusting out a hand: I'm Dart.
Cloud: :Blinks, staring down at the other's hand with a semi-confused look to his face:
Dart: :Smiles a bit: Dart Feld, to be exact. And you are…? :Still holding out the hand:
Cloud: Annoyed. :Completely ignores the one who calls himself Dart and walks pass him:
Dart: :Gawks at him incredulously: … :Closes his mouth after a moment as a thought strikes him and he walks to catch up to the man, gazing at the river as they continue on in silence once more; then suddenly rams himself into the blonde's side with his shoulder low and sends him tumbling down the bank of the river into the water:
Cloud: :Sent into the water: ... :Makes a few gurgling noises as he remains under the surface; floats to the top: ... :Soaked and wet with his eyes to the ground; hair unaffected: Hey... Dart, was it? :Glaring eyes shoot up as he jumps from his current position right beside the red one, grabbing him firmly around the wrists, tossing him swiftly and effortlessly into the water: Since you enjoyed the swim so much last time, I thought you might want to have another dip.
Dart: :Grins with satisfaction as the man goes under, only to be thrown in himself, a moment of shock registering on his face before he too goes flying into the water, satchel and armor and all: … :Comes spluttering up to the top, and as soon as he catches a breath… begins laughing, slapping the water with a hand: Oh man! I was just thinking you seemed so hot, dry and uncomfortable—and then you grabbed me and..! :Bends forward laughing, grabbing himself around the stomach, and then flings himself back into the water: You threw me in!
Cloud: Right. :Flips hair to get a few strands away from his face: Enjoy yourself. :Walks away from the bank of the river, not caring if the sun burns him or not:
Dart: :Gets out of the water and chases after the man, grabbing him by the arm and pulling him back toward the river: Oh no you don't! You're coming with me!
Cloud: :Tries shaking him off: Let go of me. I'm not- quit pulling- Stop! :Outstretches leg, tripping the other to fall face flat on the sand, taking himself with him: That back-fired.
Dart: :Splutters in the sand and then sneezes after a moment; looks to the other blonde: Well… I've stopped. :Blinks a little and plops his cheek back into the sand: So now what?
Cloud: :Spits out some sand: Still trying to figure that out...
:Suddenly, out of the water of the riverbank, a large scaly crocodile begins climbing towards the two men:
Cloud: ...I just figured out what to do next. :Lifts himself and Dart up from the sand: ... :Clears his throat: Run. :Runs:
Dart: Huh? :Starts to trot after him for a moment before looking back slowly, bewildered; spots the crocodile lunge at him: HOLY SOA! :Jumps aside and bolts after the other man as suddenly more crocodiles start emerging from the river and trying to bite them: WHY IS THERE ALWAYS SOMETHING TRYING TO EAT US!
Cloud: :Off in the distance: I hear predators of their kind can smell dumbasses from far away. Perhaps you should do something to cover up your own scent. :Doesn't bother waiting for the other to catch up this time:
Dart: :Groans and puts on a burst of speed, laughing nervously: Are you always this charming?
Cloud: :Glares: Great. You brought more with you. :Points behind the dumb one: Do you think I'm joking now? Go ahead and distract them while I make my escape. :Pats Dart's shoulder: Thanks. :Speedy Gonzalez Speed:
Dart: :Glances over his shoulder: ACK! :Eyes widen hugely and he jumps into the air with a squawk; sticks out his tongue and does a Roadrunner to catch up to the fleeing blonde: You're not leaving me behind yet! I got fuel! :Pats his satchel: I'll save the food before I save myself! Ha-HAH!
Cloud: Listen, Drake. You just gave me an idea. Besides, we could always get food in the next town. Why don't you give me that satchel? :Extends his hand out to grab the food: It'll buy us enough time to get away.
Dart: Hey, Josh~ Why don't you NOT DITCH ME WITH THE BILL NEXT TIME. No way! Get your own food! :Grabs the satchel even closer to him as he's running: This is mine and I'll protect it from you and the crocodiles!
Vix: Oh snap. Cloud was totally gonna take the bag, and run, and leave Dart to be eaten! XD SURVIVAL OF THE FITTEST FTW!
Cloud: No. I wasn't, Vix. I was going to give it to the crocodiles so that we both can escape.
Vix: Omg, he's talking to me. :Turns to Rain: He's TALKING to me! WHY IS HE TALKING TO ME! D8
Rain: Hey, Cloud! Stop breaking the fourth wall! And get back to the story!
Cloud: Oh... er... right... Ahem! Um... Dandelion, I didn't "ditch" you with the bill. You offered to pay when you decided to tag along. Remember? :Serious face:
Rain: Sheesh! What's with these guys? They're fine one minute and fighting the next. :Face/palm:
Croc 1: I'll solve that problem right now, Rain-baby.
Rain: O.o "Rain-baby?"
Croc 1: :Puts on Jet Pack: Get'em, boys! :Pushes button on remote control; flies after them:
Crocs 2 – 27: Yessir! :All follow their leader, Jet Packs blazing!:
Croc 1: Okay, boys! AIM! FIRE! :Flaming marshmallow breath shooting out to the two men:
Crocs 2 – 26: READY SIR! :All breathe out their deadly flaming marshmallows at the two men too!:
Croc 27: :Sneezes dramatically; daisies fly out and shower the two men:
Croc 1: :Stops momentarily to address Croc 27: Except you. You just... stay there and look stupid.
Croc 27: Aww shucks… :Salutes sadly and goes back into the river:
Cloud: :Ducks out of the way of the flaming marshmallows: What are these things they keep throwing at us? They look like pillows on fire! :Nearly gets hit with one: Damn... too close.
Dart: WHY ARE YOU TALKING AND NOT RUNNING! DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE CONCEPT OF THE "MEEP MEEP"? :Meep meeps and bolts ahead!:
Cloud: "Meep?" :Cocks his head to the side, very confused indeed: That is one sad, strange little man. He has my pity.
Rain: Uh... Vix? Do you get the feeling we are losing control of our own fanfic?
Vix: …kinda like, yeah. Why? Think we need to get the bunnies back in here already? o_o
Rain: Well... :Watches Cloud pick up some huge rock and throw it at the crocodiles, muttering something about not letting Scarlet's purse get the better of him: ...yeeeeeeaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhh. I think we should...
Vix: BUNNIES TO THE RESCUE THEN! :Sounds the trumpets!
Magical Bunnies: :Poofles into the picture, shaking their cotton tails at the crocs: Nyeh-nyeh! :Two land on each of the shoulders of the men:
Cloud: Oh, for Odin's sake... not again... :Hangs head, quietly damning himself:
Dart: Oh thank Soa! I never thought I'd be so happy to see these gu—hey, hey! What are they—PPFFF OOMPH! :Has his mouth covered by one of the bunnies: MMNPHHH! MMMMMPPPPPHHHHHH!
Magical Bunnies: :Cloud Dust of Poof!:
Rain: ...those bunnies get funkier with each passing chapter. I really don't want to see how they're going to be like in Chapter 8,652,394,526,017,963,145,822,995,053.
Vix: …oh hopscotch. We ARE going to have that many chapters AREN'T WE? XD
Rain: Yes... yes, we are.
Vix: XD Hey… Rain… where'd they get the duct tape…?
Rain: Like I said... funkier with each new chapter... Yay... -.-"
Vix: Well, that's our cue! Abbri-abri-abri- THAT'S ALL FOLKS! 8D :Waves!:
Rain: :Stares awkwardly at Vix: Um... bye. :Disappears into the next chapter: