AN: I know I know! I was deathly ill all last week, and then I was busy catching up on work I couldn't do while I was sick this past week. So...those are my excuses and they are totally legit, I promise. I'm so out of it, man. I hope this doesn't read to you as forced as it feels to me. I just have to get back into the swing of things. Anywho...I don't own anything. Onward.
There was no money in the motel room. John either forgot to leave them anything, or didn't have anything to leave them. Not a credit card in the place. Not a fistful of cash. Nothing.
"Man, Dean, what're we supposed to eat on?"
"I don't know." Dean said from the window. It had become his favorite thinking spot over the past couple of days. "What I'd really like to know is who the fuck he thinks he is leaving us here for two whole days by ourselves."
"Dean..." Sam was wide-eyed. He'd never heard his brother speak against their father that way. Dean had just...never had it in him.
"No. I have every right. I'm not Mom, Sam. So why does he treat me like I am."
"What, you're pissed off because you have to take care of me? I know you and Dad haven't realized this yet, but I'm fourteen, Dean. I can take care of myself. I'm not Sammy with the runny nose and the scab on his knee anymore."
"You think I don't know that?" Christ...Dean knew it better than anyone. "I'm just tired is all, Sam."
"I know that." Sam sighed. It really wasn't fair how Dean carried so much responsibility. "But while Dad's not here, you could rest. Let me be the one to take care of you. You hardly slept last night. You think I didn't notice? You kept tossing and turning, I couldn't sleep either."
"You could've taken Dad's bed..."
"I rest better next to you, convulsing or not." The younger Winchester smiled, trying to pull one out of his brother. He was successful. As always.
"Yeah, well. Looks like I'm going to have to go out tonight and scrounge up some cash."
Sam bit his lip. He hated when Dean went to bars because two out of three times he ended up in a fight and he and John never let Sam go with him for back-up.
"Well, since Dad isn't here, can I come with you?"
"No, Sammy. You're too young."
"I have a fake ID, Dean. And I'm tall enough t pass for 21. And your excuses are bullshit anyway because just two weeks ago Dad took us to a bar for dinner and he bought me a beer and nobody said anything."
"Yeah, well, that was different. That was dinner. This is hustling pool and it's dangerous."
"More dangerous than a bunyip or a phantom cat?"
Dean sighed and took a seat on the pin-neat bed that was their fathers, yet untouched. "Sam...this is people we're talking about, not predictable monsters. Sometimes even I'm not prepared for what they come at me with. You can't ward them off with salt or iron."
Sam crossed his arms and scowled down at his older brother.
"Like the time you came home bleeding and crying....you were crying....and you couldn't tell me or Dad what happened?" Occasionally Sam would bring this up much to the discomfort of his older brother. It was the only grudge he'd ever bore him. That Dean had kept something secret from him.
"Sam...can we not go there today? Please?" It was obvious how painful the topic was for Dean, and his hand flew to rub at his forehead as much as to hide his eyes in shame.
"It's been a year, Dean. Why can't you tell me? You tell me everything."
"It's complicated, Sam." When Dean's hand fell to his lap, his eyes followed, and they refused to meet with Sam's again.
"Dean..." Same knelt down in front of him, a habit he practiced every time his brother looked like he needed consoling or coaxing. He put his hand on top of his brothers, held it, and tilted his head, trying to pull Dean's gaze back to his. "You can tell me anything, don't you know that. If you did something....questionable....or something that you think Dad would disapprove of, I'm sure you would've had a good reason. I'd understand."
But Dean hadn't done anything, really. He'd pulled all the tricks his dad had taught him. Everything in the grifter's handbook. He had just happened to lose out. When it came time to pay his debt, he had nothing to pay it with.
"Sam. I don't keep secrets from you to hurt you or deceive you. I do it to protect you. There are some things....you're just better off not knowing."
"I'm not exactly innocent as is..."
"You may think that, but you don't know everything, Sam."
"No, but I know a hell of a lot." The younger Winchester sighed. "Look, Dean....let me come with you tonight. If anything happens, we'll just get out. I mean...what bad things could happen with a Winchester man backing up another Winchester man?" He smiled. "I'll even carry heat if you want me to."
"You probably should, Sammy."
"You mean you're saying yes? I can go?" Sam's eyes lit up. It shouldn't have surprised him that he'd won Dean over.
"I guess so. But no drinking. And no women. Just....keep an eye on me."
Before Dean saw it coming, Sam was flying at him, long arms wrapped around him, and knocking him backwards. "You've gotta stop doing this, Sammy. Christ. You're getting too big."
"Sorry. Love you, Dean."
Dean smiled and ran a hand through his brother's too-long too-shaggy hair. "Love you, too." He hesitated for a moment before allowing himself to kiss the top of Sam's head. "More than you know."