Ma Chao's Stupidity

Chapter 2

Let's play dress up!

"Bring me the package! Now!"Zhuge Liang cried,as he brought Ma Chao,who was fast asleep because of Pang Tong's sleeping pill,into the room.

Sima Yi looked at the package critically.

"You need a present for Cao Cao,right? Well,THIS looks more like a gift for Zhang He! It's so...pink..."

"You DUMBO,we DON'T need a present for Cao Cao!"Zhuge Liang laughed evilly,"We need to get rid of Ma Chao!"

"Aw. Yesh. I remember,"Sima Yi blushed.

So they put Ma Chao into a big pink box,wrapped him properly and sang the "One Way Ticket" in such voices,that Xu Zhu could have dropped dead.

Liu Bei entered the room.

"Wow! Oh my,cool package,"he said,"Gimme a marker."

Zhuge Liang handed him a big smelly pink marker.

Xuande made astonishing efforts to remember some letters,but soon even he gave up. So Yue Ying did this for him. She took the marker and wrought: "TO CAO MENGDE WITH LOVE" in big,messy letters...

******30 minutes later,at the Shuist palace******

Liu Bei:Damn... It's so quiet here without that Ma Chao around... Yep,but I find something...missing?

Zhuge Liang and Sima Yi(in a chorus):Liu Bei,if you only had some brains... IF YOU SAY "WITHOUT MA CHAO",MEANS MA CHAO IS MISSING!

Liu Bei:Oh,well,yes...

"It was awful with Zhuge Liang,but with both ZL and an anti-ZL... I better go live with Zhang He...

******an hour later,at the Weist palace******

Zhang He yelled:"Look,Cao Cao,looks like there's a pressie here for you! Aww my,it's pink! Cao Cao,you're so lucky!"

Zhang He rushed into the throne room,clapping his hands,squeaking something indefinite.

"Cao Cao..."Zhang He sounded disappointed,"Don't you even want to LOOK at the pressie?"

"Well,calm down,Junyi,sure I do!Now go,bring it in!"

Zhang He thought for a while and then said:

"Um...I can't. It's way too heavy..."

So Cao Cao made Xu Zhu and Dian Wei bring it in. The Wei ruler carefully removed the lid. After all,this could be another trouble-making,useless gift from Zhuge Liang. For example,last year he sent Cao Mengde Zhang He...

"NO!"Cao cried in despair,as he saw a pretty,fat Ma Chao sleeping in the box. Zhang He peered into the pink container.

"Awww! How cute!"he whispered,"A yellow-haired,green-eyed little Shuist!"

Zhang He spent the next ten minutes caramelldancing around Cao Cao:

"Lord Cao Cao! Lord Cao Cao! Can I have it?"

"Sure."the Weist agreed,"Take it,teach it Wei things,brainwash it,love it,f...um,use it however you like!"

Zhang He smiled gladly,as he took the huge pink box into his room.

"WAKE UP!"

No reply.

"WAKE UP!"

No reply.

"No Reply" song sung in a goatique voice.

No reply.

And then the phone rang.

Zhang He:Is it you,Sima Yi? When will you come back?

Sima Yi:Yes. Do you like the gift?

Zhang He:Well...It actually can't wake up...Is it a boy or a girl? And,by the way,when will you come back?..

Sima Yi:I dunno. Perhaps a hermaphrodite. You better check it yourself.

Zhang He: WAIT,SIMA YI! How do you know I have a gift? And will you actually COME BACK?

Sima Yi: I... oh...Um,Yuan Shao told me.

Zhang He looked around. "Where the Cao Ren is my hermaphrodite thingy?"Junyi dropped the phone. "IT'S GONE!GONE!"

But Zhang He soon found his precious gift in the dustbin. It lay there sleeping. Then the cruel Weion shook his gift as hard as he could...

Ma Chao opened his eyes and stared at the unknown place in terror.

"LET'S PLAY DRESS UP!"Zhang He yelled,with a glad grin on his face.