Even before she opened her eyes, Nadine knew that she was alone. She could feel Spencer still pressed against her stomach, but her back was cool and absent of Nikolas' comforting warmth. A part of her didn't want to wake up. She dreaded knowing that she was right and that he had already pulled away from her. It had only taken a few hours for him to realize that he was betraying Emily's memory or that his curse as a Cassadine would put her in harm's way. There were a million justifications she knew that he could use to justify his absence, and Nadine hated every single one of them. She couldn't keep chasing a ghost and she couldn't beat generations of insanity. She could only try to love him as her heart would allow.

Her arm was numb as she managed to wrangle it from underneath a heavily sleeping Spencer. She admired the innocence of the small child, wishing for a moment that she could be as oblivious to all the darkness in the world that surrounded him. Nadine knew that he wasn't completely unaffected by the tragedy that had afflicted his life from the very day that he was born, but he still had many years before he would realize just how deeply all of this would affect him. Only now was she starting to realize what losing her parents had done to her life. She could only pray that Spencer would be spared much of the pain she had endured in her twenty-five years.

Climbing down the stairs, she tried to be as quiet as possible so that she could sneak up on Nikolas. She needed to gauge his mood before she would know how to react to waking up without him beside her. He had been so open to her only hours before, but she knew that it was his natural instinct to recoil into himself. As she paused on the landing, she wasn't at all surprised to see him curled up in a ball on the overstuffed chair next to the picture window. Like many of Port Charles' finest brooding men, Nikolas found peace in staring out over the water. He clutched a familiar picture frame in his hand as he gazed down at the image smiling up at him, lightly tracing the lines of Emily's face.

"Good morning," Nadine called softly as she came the rest of the way down the stairs and into the sitting room. Nikolas looked up at her briefly before returning his eyes to the photograph. "Spencer is still asleep upstairs. It was kind of lonely waking up without you."

"I'm sorry," Nikolas apologized politely. Nadine hated when he put on this formal front with her. It was his reflex, she understood, but it wasn't authentic. It wasn't who Nikolas really was. It was only who he was taught to be. "I wanted to call and check in with a few of the doctors at Shadybrook to see if they had any recommendations for me. I've given enough money to that place over the years that they agreed to give me a few referrals for some great doctors just outside Zurich."

Nadine walked hesitantly closer to Nikolas and perched herself on the edge of the table beside his chair. She wanted to reach out for his hand and feel the connection that had been so strong just a few hours earlier, but his hands were tightly folded around the edges of that damn frame. It was unreasonable to hate an inanimate object, but Nadine hated that frame. "What can I do to help you?"

"You could look over the list of doctors and facilities if you want," he offered. His dark eyes were now fixed on the sparkling harbor, the picture pressed firmly over his heart. Nadine reached forward tentatively attempted to pry the frame from his hands. Nikolas looked at her with panic in his eyes before snapping it out of her reach. "What do you think you're doing?"

"Nikolas, you need to let go."

Anger sparked from him as he shifted away from her. He couldn't believe that she could be so insensitive to Emily's memory and all the things that she meant to him. It was clear that Nadine had never truly been in love or she would realize that you don't just let go of someone like that. "Look, I know what I told you last night, and I meant it. I really do," he tried to explain. "But I will not just let go of Emily. She is apart of me and she always will be. If you're going to be in my life, that's something you need to understand right now. I need you to help me, but I will not give her up. Not even for you."

"Did I ask you to give her up?" she nearly shouted before realizing that Spencer was still upstairs. She brought her voice down to a softer level but maintained the same angry, defiant tone. "That's not what I meant at all. We all know that you are going to love Emily for the rest of your life – even if I ever had any doubts, you have made it abundantly clear. I never said that you shouldn't love her. I just think that you need to let go a little bit, Nikolas, if you're ever going to be able to do this on your own."

Jutting out his chin, he was determined to make her see what was so clear to him. "I don't want to do this on my own, Nadine," he countered. "If it helps me get through the possibility that I could lose my sister, I am going to think about Emily. I am going to ask her to watch over Lulu. I am going to ask her to do all the things that I can't. I can't just let go because you want me to. That's not the way things work."

A small tear slipped from her denim blue eyes, and Nikolas immediately felt guilty. He wanted to make her understand, but he didn't want to hurt her. The last thing in the world he wanted to do was hurt her. He just didn't know how to do this. "Nikolas," she whispered. "I just want you to let go of her so that you can hold onto me."

Her soft confession was enough to make Nikolas set the frame down in the window sill and reach for Nadine. She was trying so hard, and he was only making it more difficult for her. He had committed to letting her help him get through this last night, and he was already pushing her away this morning. Pulling her into his lap, he wrapped his arms around her torso and cradled her against his body. He held her much like she had last night when he had wept openly in her doorway. "I'm holding you now," he murmured as he pressed a kiss to the top of her head, "and I will keep on holding you as long as you let me. Just promise me that you won't let go."

"I'm not going to leave you," she promised tearfully, her voice wavering with her solemn vow. "You've tried really hard to push me away, and I haven't left you yet. I promised that I would stand by your side no matter what – even if you only wanted me as your friend. Loving someone means making a sacrifice. I know that you are going to tell me that you don't want me to give up anything for you, but I'm not. I'm gaining so much more."

Nikolas gently pressed her face away from his shoulder and peered down at her intently for a moment before swooping down to capture his lips with hers. It was soft and insistent, complex and promising. She pressed her hands on either side of his face as he fisted her hair in his hands. The moment went on for a few minutes before they both pulled away, completely spent by the intensity of the entire situation. "You are so beautiful," he mused softly as he ran his hands along her bare arms. Nadine shivered under his touch as she cuddled closer to him. "I'm sorry…"

"You don't need to apologize," she assured him. Nikolas opened his mouth to say something but she quickly silenced him with another brief kiss. He moaned in protest against her lips as she pulled away, his mouth curving into a smile. "Now then, where is that list?" Reaching to the floor beside the chair, Nikolas handed over the list of names. Nadine scanned them quickly, recognizing one. Her face lit up in realization. "I know this woman."

Looking down to which name her index finger was pointing at, he looked up at her skeptically. "How do you know a world-renowned psychiatrist from Switzerland?" he inquired. Nadine never ceased to amaze him. She was full of surprises and just when he thought he had her figured out, she would throw him a curveball like this one. "What can you tell me about her?"

"I worked with her when I was still going to nursing school down in Texas. I did a rotation at a mental facility, and she was there conducting research on a group of patients suffering from psychosis. I didn't last very long on the ward, but I spent a few weeks assisting her. She is amazing."

"Really," Nikolas drawled, reading over the name again. He made a mental note to have his contacts in Europe check in with the doctor and start making plans to possibly have Lulu transferred there once he was able to get to her. "You really are incredible, Nadine. Thank you so much for everything you've done for me the last few days. Someday, I will find a way to make all of this up to you."

Smiling brightly, she wrapped her arms around his neck and pressed her forehead to his. "Just hold onto me, that's all I need," she proclaimed before tilting her chin for another kiss. Nikolas reacted immediately, pulling her even closer to him. His hands roamed over her sides as she turned her head slightly to allow him better access. It was Nadine's turn to groan against his mouth, losing herself in the pure lust of wanting him for months. Her hunger for him was insatiable at this point. She craved anything he was willing to give to her.

"Okay, okay, okay," Nikolas muttered breathlessly as he pulled back from her. The last thing he wanted to do was rush things, especially the state that he was in. He needed to pull back just a little so that they didn't crash and burn before they even had the chance to take off. He didn't have to make any excuses though because his cell phone soon interrupted them. Nadine didn't wait for him to answer it as she plucked it from his pocket. "Hey!"

"Hello, Mr. Cassadine's phone," she purred sexily, causing an image of a buttoned-up secretarial Nadine to flash naughtily in Nikolas' head. She locked her eyes on him and smiled demurely. "How may I service you?"

"Who is this?" a woman's voice snapped.

Nadine didn't recognize it as Alexis, Lulu, Elizabeth, Sam or anyone else she had seen around Nikolas. "Who is this?"

"Give the phone to Nikolas," the voice ordered harshly. "Now."

"Gosh, you could have said please," Nadine retorted sarcastically before handing the cell phone over to Nikolas. An amused grin played on his lips as he pressed the phone to his ear. Nadine wanted to be nosy and try to hear what was being said but opted instead to make herself scarce. "I'm just going to go up and check on Spencer."

Nikolas shook his head as he locked his arm around her. "Stay," he mouthed, pleading her with his eyes. "What do you want, Claudia?" She watched him listen to the woman on the other end of the line, knowing that she had to be calling about Johnny and Lulu. Nikolas closed his eyes and exhaled deeply, clearly upset. "When do you think they'll get there?" He paused again to wait for her answer. "I will meet you there. Don't tell anyone else about it. This needs to stay between us."

With those ominous words, Nikolas ended the call and tossed his cell phone to the floor below. "She heard from Johnny," he explained finally. "Lulu is doing worse. He's bringing her back to Port Charles to get help. Johnny doesn't think that she can wait any longer, so he's convinced her to go to Shadybrook on the condition that he goes onto Vancouver without her. Claudia is going to help him escape. I'm supposed to meet her there in a half-hour."

Knowing that it would take as long for him to get from Spoon Island to the facility, Nadine slid off Nikolas lap and stood in front of him. "You need to go now," she told him, reaching down to pull him to his feet. "I will stay with Spencer until you can come home."

Shaking his head again, Nikolas wouldn't let go of her hands. "I need you to go with me. I can't do this alone," he confessed. "Lulu is going to get there, and I'm going to see her completely broken. I'll have to be brave for her, but I am so scared. Please, will you go with me just to make sure I do everything right? I need to take care of my baby sister."

She nodded against his shoulder as she pulled him into a quick hug. "I'll be by your side every step of the way," she promised. "Now, why don't you go upstairs and get ready? I'll call up to Alfred's room to see if he can stay with Spencer until someone else can get here, and then I'll get in touch with your brother to have him meet us there."

He was already halfway up the stairs when he stopped to look back at her. "Call Elizabeth and see if she will come pick up Spencer. He can stay with her until we come home," he decided. "Ask Lucky to get Bobbie. Luke is still missing, and Tracy has gone after him. Bobbie is the closest thing she has to parent that's here."

Jotting his orders down on a piece of paper, she waved him on up the stairs before setting to making the calls. Alfred agreed to stay as long as he was needed and promised her that he would get Spencer up and ready to go. Elizabeth planned to come over to the island as soon as she could get another nurse to cover her shift. Lucky was on his way to Shadybrook before they even hung up the phone. Nadine had also called Bobbie, afraid that Lucky'd wreck on the way to the hospital with the adrenaline that he was running on. The older woman promised that she would meet them there.

Nikolas came flying down the stairs a minute later, his fingers trying to work the buttons on his dress shirt as he sprinted through the living room. His shirt was crooked as he searched his desk drawers for a set of keys. Nadine calmly paced over and gently nudged him out of the way. She found his keys easily and pocketed them without any protest from him. "You're clearly too wound up to get us there safely," she told him as she set to fixing the buttons on his shirt. Under any other circumstances, she would enjoy dressing him, but this was definitely out of the ordinary. When she pulled the final button through the loop, she patted his chest and smiled up at him triumphantly. "There, now we can go."

Following her obediently to his silver sports sedan, Nikolas was in awe of how calm and reserved she could be. He was a bumbling mess, the complete opposite of his usual cool demeanor. She was calm and collected, a far cry from the spunky klutz he knew and loved. Like always, they were total opposites, but he knew that she had adapted herself to be who he needed right now. As she reversed the car out of the garage and headed up the driveway, she reached across the seat and took his hand. "Just hold on to me, I'll get us there."