5. Morino Ibiki is not allowed to take another genin team, ever.

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The mission room inspector viewed the room with a critical eye, sweeping the area for enemies, aka, team Nineteen. He swore that they'd all gotten three times as many complaints, d-rank missions, complaining genin, paper work, not to mention clean up duty as usual since the terrible three had gotten Morino as their jounin sensei.

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He looked down as his roster, and was surprised that Ibiki would be taking his shift...leaving some poor soul to deal with his hellions. The man felt a chokehold of dread wash over him. The team was bad enough with him, what were they capable of without Ibiki there to deal with them? Dying may have been easier then watching the genin that Ibiki normally dealt with. The inspector handed out the A-rank in his hands to the poor jounin in front of him. He heard the other whimper pitifully, gaining strange glances from his colleagues and the other jounin in the mission room.

"Team nineteen," the jouinin muttered as an explanation, "Ibiki's taking a short vacation."

Silence issued, as everyone in the room gave him sorrowful looks. "It was nice knowing you," murmured one of the desk chunnin. "You were a good shinobi." The inspector nodded, and wished the jounin luck, he would sure need it.

Yemon carefully approached the number three training ground, treading softly so that he had less chance of losing his life before he got to actually see them. It was all for naught as his foot caught on a something and he was soon hanging upside down by his ankle with kunai proof wire. How convenient. And how did the brats even get Kunai proof wire? Wasn't that just for Special Forces?

Curling up cautiously, the blond jounin grabbed the branch and flipped up on top of it, quickly attempting to untie the intricate knot. How did genin know these knots? They were for specialist to use! Yemon frowned in concentration, forcing his ankle into an almost impossible position that hurt like the dickens. Why did he have to be the lucky guy to get this mission?

He hissed, finally getting his ankle free from its confinement. He rubbed it, circulating the blood again and scanning the area around him for any other signs of traps.

He dodged the kunai and the shuriken as they came flying at him, digging deep into the wood where he had just recently been. "Darn, I almost got him!" he heard someone whisper, "He's not even as good as Ibiki, why couldn't I get 'im? He can't be as good as Sensei, sensei's the best! He's the one that set up this drill!"

Yemon cursed at the Interrogator for being the source of his pain and aggravation. "Come out this instant", he hissed, eyes narrowing to dangerous slits. "Like a snake," one of them whispered. They knew he could hear him, they had to, the little munchkin only wanted to aggravate him. And he was succeeding. "Maybe he's Uke and some guy messed him up?"

Yemon froze. His brain unable to process what had just been said by an eleven year old. Were they supposed to know about that yet? NO, the answer was defiantly no. So where had they heard a comment so vulgar?

"Ibiki said it hurts, and he should know, Ibiki knows everything. That why he taught us the knots and the traps. He's the best, and he would be seme."

Oh…Ibiki…Yemon would write down that small detail later in his report. Along with several other nasty, aggravating and mind-boggling comments the poor innocent children had come up with. What where they learning from their teacher???

Yemon returned limping, scared, bleeding and exhausted to the mission room, turning in his report on time and full of weird information. What had Ibiki done to that farm animal?

His brain was fried to a crisp. All he wanted was to curl up and cry tears of agony then fall asleep for 24 hours. This had to be the worst mission he had ever taken.

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The mission inspector picked up the report left on his desk. Yemon had dropped it off an hour ago before walking home. He had been reading something else, but now he was ready. He prepared himself for he worst.

Lifting the cover page, the inspector stared reading, about half way through he passed out, face pale and eyes dilated to pin points. Dear Lord, my mind.

Kakashi was the one who found the poor chuunin there the next morning, still mentally dead. He shook him, seeing if the older man would wake up before picking up the paper the man had been reading. A jutsu maybe? Enemy infiltration? He checked every possible scenario for having a passed out ninja, but found nothing. Hmmm… Kakashi began reading.

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heh, you will never know all of what they said. . it's a secret. No, not really, but I wanted to keep things PG-13 as long as possible. I don't own Naruto.

-newmoongirl