9. Screaming "ARGH, THE ZOMBIES ARE COMING!" will not endear you to the ANBU population, Iruka. Especially not if you actually sound convincing.
00000000000
Iruka was a wonderful student. He was brilliant, crazy enough to make it through most life-endangering situations, and most importantly: a fast learner.
Not many people knew this fact, not even Ibiki, so when he taught them how to act-out in certain situations believably, he never imagined in his wildest dreams--they did get pretty crazy at times-- that any kid could actually use this talent to cause chaos.
It had been a simple capture mission, get the dog and bring him back. They couldn't search for cats because it was now prohibited, and thus they had been reduced to chasing after canines; how very tragic. Ibiki hadn't expected Iruka would put his acting skills to us.
Iruka caught the dog, wrestling with it shortly before finally gaining dominance by biting its ear. Panting in triumph, the brunette snapped the collar around Ripper's neck and handed the large dog over to Izumo. "Mission accomplished." Iruka did a rather good impression of Gai.
Izumo just rolled his eyes; Iruka was insane, less then Kotetsu, but up there. He wouldn't be surprised if the pair were automatically promoted to jounin because their minds were so messed up. Sighing aloud, Izumo tugged at the chain, and Ripper followed along meekly. "Let's just go already; I'm tired, sweaty, and hungry.
Iruka snorted, "You're always hungry Izumo. It's like your special quirk, you never get fat! At all! It's weirder then Ko's next door neighbor wearing the cone-bras."
Izumo huffed indignantly, "Iruka, it's not weird, I'm just growing, and it's not something that I can control. Besides, if I know you, we'll probably stumble upon a haunted graveyard. You're the best, or worst danger-magnet I ever hope to meet. You'll probably die before you're twenty-four."
Iruka hit him. "You just say that 'cause you're jealous." He stuck out his tongue. "Where are we by they way? I was just following you."
Izumo glanced around, "What are you talking about? I was following you! How am I supposed to know where we are? Am I your personal keeper?"
"And we haven't heard from Kotetsu for a while either." Iruka continued, ignoring his companion, "Maybe he fell asleep somewhere."
Izumo groaned. That would be just like Ko too. He almost wished that Kotetsu would be more responsible, but shuddered at the thought. Ko being normal would bother him more than his current attitude. It just wasn't natural.
Looking around, Izumo cursed. They were totally and completely lost. Lost like a pair of puppies in the middle of the ocean without a flotation device. "Let's just pick a direction and walk. With you chasing that stupid dog in circles for the past three hours, my internal compass is entirely useless." He handed the god's leash over to his companion in disgust.
Ripper growled; he wasn't stupid, he was just…single-minded. That squirrel had looked rather tasty. Besides, that human's compass wasn't the only thing that was useless. The one with the pony-tail was to be respected, but this scrawny one…maybe he could take a bite?
Stumbling, Iruka found himself…in a graveyard. Well, whadoyaknow, Izumo was right; they had run into a graveyard, and a creepy one at that. It was like one of those places where Anko's sensei would sleep at night.
Brushing off all the dust, Iruka tugged at the leash around his wrist, interrupting Ripper's attempt at a snack.
Izumo whimpered; did all other animals see him as a bunny too? Only apparently, it was Tasty Bunny in this time instead of Cute Bunny.
Following at a safe distance, Izumo observed the scenery. Why, if there were so many healthy trees around the lot, were there decrepit trees in the graveyard? Was the soil poisoned or something?
Spying something out of the corner of his eye, Izumo froze. Was that a hand sticking out of the ground like a flower in bloom? Blinking, Izumo confirmed his assumption, only now it was the whole arm.
Groaning at the irony of it, Izumo caught up to Iruka and tugged at his sleeve. "Iruka…there are zombies here." He tugged again, looking over his shoulder at the steadily emerging creature. "Iruka? Ruka?"
The brunette caught Izumo's hand and pointed in front of them. Apparently, one was already out of the ground and ambling toward them. Izumo felt a keening whine escape his throat. Why had he opened his mouth in the first place?
"Protect the Pooch!" Iruka yelled, grabbing the huge dog and throwing him across Izumo's back. "We gotta get out of here and quick! We can't fail another D-rank!" Izumo nodded, though he wasn't quite sure why he had to carry the dog and not Iruka.
Taking off at a frenzied pace that would have impressed Ibiki, the two boys miraculously reached the gates in a matter of minutes, where Kotetsu was waiting for them, Kakashi by his side. The poor cross-dresser had almost stumbled upon the ANBU training grounds.
Upon reaching the silver-haired teen, Iruka grabbed his vest. "HELP! THEY'RE AFTER US, THEY WANT TO EAT OUR BRAINS!!"
Kakashi looked down into crazed eyes, taken aback that the genin dared to touch him.
Iruka let go and took off, attracting the nearby ANBU population as he ran through the village screaming, "ARGH, THE ZOMBIES ARE COMING!"
Orochimaru cursed, The damn brats had stumbled upon all his failed experiments! Now he'd have to move locations again. Maybe he should just do everything in his basement.
000000000
Hardest…chapter… ever. TTTT I'm dyeing. OMG
