Being numb was a curious thing. Lilly had only been numb while walking through snow that had covered all of the nature around her at home. She was only ever numb when a limb was not properly exercised for a period of time. Never had an actual person made her numb in this way that combined both sensations.
She was shivering because he had made her shiver.
She couldn't move because he had made her immovable.
As she watched her new husband retreat without so much as a glance behind him, she felt the cold draw with him.
Alone. She was alone on her wedding night. Yes, her mother had prepped her for the coming events and surely Corpus would tell her the truth as to why he had chosen to avoid the consummation of their marriage. She needed to be patient, understanding as a wife should be. Yet this infinitesimal task that should have been taken care of was being ignored. Her mother was even in on it!
"It is late."
Lilly would have jumped had not her limbs been stuck in place. Her mother's hand clasped her with the warmth that a person should possess. It felt wonderful to have heat on her skin.
"Yes." Was all she could whisper.
Her mother's intake of breath was shaky. "You will know the truth, but for now—be happy that you don't."
Lillith didn't even look at Pridora when she said that and somehow, it only made matters worse. Now it was inevitable. She had to know why Corpus was ignoring her and why he had looked so disturbed while holding her hand. Was he hand disgusting? She held up her hand, glad that she could move. Surveying every crevice, Lillith found no particle of dislike.
"What are you doing?" Pridora must have thought her mad.
She held out her hand to her mother. "Is my hand disgusting to you? Is there some sort of deformity?"
Pridora pushed Lilly's hand down and took hold of her daughter in her arms. "Even gibberish for one night. Come, let us to bed."
The tears that sprang upon Lilly's vision only made matters worse. Her already sore and red eyes combined with tears must have made her seem like a child. She could no longer be a child—not for anyone.
"…and leave the climbing of trees in your past. You're a lady now and must do as your told. Unless, that is, if your husband allows it. Which he might. Oh, I do not know what his kind does but if they do it so shall you." Pridora was now rambling on incoherently, dipping in and out of her own thoughts and farewells.
"They're Italiano too, mama. I'm sure they aren't much different from us even though they are from a different city."
There was an awkward silence as the party waited on them. It wasn't as hard saying goodbye to father. Liam didn't even give her a chance. Maleksi was something of a struggle but would be easily forgotten because of her age. But this was her mother.
She couldn't contain it; the hug sprang from her arms like gunpowder. Her mother hugged her back just as hard but silently drew Lilly's arms back to their rightful spots.
"You were never mine and so I shouldn't be so unwilling to let you go. You always belonged to him."
More confusing words to end the bond of a mother and daughter. Lilly tried to ignore it hoping that somehow her mother would come and visit—or that she would be allowed. Lilly turned as slowly as she could from her mother, examining her face for one last time. Her focus found itself on Corpus who waited patiently by the door of their carriage, his hand held out for her to climb up into the darkness. She was hesitant. Last time she held his hand, her whole body shut itself down. It had never really liked the cold and in winter forced her to keep in doors. She never grew sick, but it made her nervous.
Luckily, today, she was wearing riding gloves with her new adornment of a traveling gown. She took his hand quickly and hoped up into the carriage avoiding his eyes. She kept her neck inclined to gaze outside the carriage window at the woods praying that he would ignore her tears. How silly and trivial of her to show such an emotion for her new life. This should be a happy occasion for her. Expectation was highly staked on her—she couldn't let anyone down.
Off the carriage sped where the bushes and trees and trees and bushes grew in such a wild thickness that swallowed the carriage. But darkness didn't bother her in a literal sense—it was the metaphorical one that trouble Lilly's mind. Could this mean something more than it appeared?
She made a mental note to keep her thoughts from lingering there. Bartelona was just cold—nothing more. Leaning her head back while simultaneously avoiding the stare she knew she was receiving from her new husband, she shut her eyes and feigned sleeping the entire journey to her new home.
Lilly's eyes met the city upon a hill that loomed over all of the trees around them. The road wound up into the fortress, circling it as if to wrap its hopes around the waist of the mountain. Her heart began to thud inaudibly as they went up and up. The sky was grayer than any frock or peasant dress she had ever seen. It was as if blackness had fought the light and collided to make such a gray that could never be manipulated. The rain was only a slight drizzle, but still it was raining. She was sure that the pink from her cheeks no longer existed and that her nose was as red as Corpus's eyes--but not as frightening.
"Welcome to Bartelona, Lady Vespacelli." Corpus whispered into the quiet stillness of their carriage. There was a slight smugness in his honey-dipped voice that made Lilly's attention focus on him. The way he said it sent her chills. She got the feeling that there would be no leaving Bartelona for quite some time. Was he waiting for a pivotal point in the marriage? Was he trying to sever the ties to her family, teach her that he was her family now?
Though this should have angered her, she was calm. Her heartbeat slowed as she looked at him, her eyes searching his face for any unkindness he would want to give her. But his face was a mask or cordial civility. The stare that had burned her face the whole carriage ride must have been a mirage. Frowning, she turned her focus back onto the gates of the tall, elegant, spirals of black iron that guarded the city from intruders. They opened slowly by the hands of two men in dark cloaks, their faces covered, their white chins protruding from beneath the Elvish hoods that kept them from being seen. It grew darker, almost night, while they entered. The building was all of tall stone, not a single stand or wheelbarrow carrying goods to and from farms. There weren't any farms either, she noticed. No livestock. No stray animals either begging for food. The people roaming about all wore black cloaks, their clothes beneath of an elegance in which Lilly had never seen. They were not the normal dress of the era, but much more decadent and revealing. Women even had bare shoulders which was highly uncommon in the world of propriety. Each one of them seemed to her from a romantic Grecian portrait in which she had attempted to paint but failed.
As the carriage passed, they all slowly made their eyes follow. No one was startled by the abrupt appearance of the black carriage which bore the gold seal of Vespacelli. Lilly's back pressed further into the cushions. She could not possibly face these people! All of them would look down on her as a mousy nuisance. Lilly bit back the whimper she wished to dispel from her bluish lips, her teeth beginning to chatter.
Corpus made a sudden movement that was too fast for her to catch. At once, there was a cloak draped around her shoulders. She frowned despite the clanging of her mouth. The cloak wasn't warm like it should have been. It was just as cold as the outside—and Corpus. Lilly drew the cloak closer over her layers of muslin and furs. The cold was less painful now, but she knew she should move soon to keep her blood flowing. That's how it had always been at the estate in winter.
"My apologies for not being better prepared. I'm used to the cold and so I wasn't aware of the chill you might catch. Do let me know if you start to cough." His lips formed into a tight line once more but his expression wasn't that of coldness like the air around them. It was warm—Lillith's heart faded for an instant to it.
The carriage pulled to a halt in front of something Lilly could not see. She elited forth, her eyes traveling up the intense mound of rock and stone. It was a wall and inside between gates that resembled the front entrance was another world unto itself. They entered, Lilly's hand shaking on Corpus' arm. She hoped that wouldn't bother him. But she had little time to worry about how Corpus would receive her annoying character. The buildings and people in front of her were straight from a horror novel. This place, covered in melting snow and rain did not deter the people that stood freely in it. The buildings were not tall except for the one in the middle which held a glowing light from the windows. The rest were desolate, impenetrable, and inescapable. But the people were more interesting than the iced appearance of the buildings. They were all so magnificent—like geysers that were carved into angels. Dark angels, each one pertaining long hair that reached their thighs, longer than Lilly's. Their eyes were crimson, but even more so. Like they peered out on all the world with such a view that could not be called severity but a lifetime's worth of hardships and tolerance. It was as if they knew just what it meant to live forever and protect that secret. Like they had actually fought for it.
Lillith was brought right to the center of their crescent formation, Corpus' hand now on top of hers. When she looked up at his face, her breath caught. He was smiling. Never had she seen him smile quite like that—like the sun had been captured and shoved into his mouth. But as much as she wished it could, she didn't warm.
"Hello, my friends. Thank you for your patience. But now, I would like to introduce you to my wife, Lillith Vespacelli of Bartelona. I would that you receive her well."
Corpus pushed us together to the beginning of the strange formation in front of us. First was a man I had seen before but couldn't name. The man bowed, his face pleasantly serene with the hint of a smile curving the corners of his mouth. He held out his hand to take hers. With a slight hesitation, she allowed her hand to be enveloped by his gasping slightly at how his skin felt. This man was just as cold as Corpus was. Surprise caught her off guard at the expression he gave the moment their skin had become one. His smile burst in full and it was his eyes that deepened in crimson red. "Interesting." The man glanced towards Corpus and nodded once. Had she missed some sort of agreement?
"Lilly, this is Aro, my brother."
"Or as close as you can get. Your husband saved me from an impenetrable death." Aro took a side glance at Corpus and then turned his attention to another man beside him. "And this is our other brother, Cauis with his wife, Athenodora." They nodded her way once as well, not speaking. Lilly got the feeling that Caius didn't like many people and that he was skeptical about her. The woman wasn't even watching her now. Instead, her eyes were closed, her hand enwrapped in Caius'. They moved down the line towards a man with flowing white hair. This man was gentle, she could already tell.
"Marcus." Corpus pointed out his other brother with such a kindness she had yet to hear when spoken to one of his clan. "And Didyme." Lilly felt suddenly extremely pleased to see this woman. She could almost laugh. It was like magic coursed through her saddened emotions and for a while she forgot her family. She felt like she was—home. Marcus took a hard look at Lilly before meeting the wondering eyes of Corpus. "It works." Lilly glanced up at Corpus, confused with the mixture of happiness. She recalled the time when she had eaten mushrooms by the riverbank and couldn't stop grinning like a goon for three hours. Is that what she was doing right now? Lilly couldn't keep her thoughts together. Focusing her eyes, she made herself watch Corpus. He slowly nodded to his brother, relief seeming to make him slouch in happiness. Lilly was at a complete loss. Before taking a step further Didyme tapped her lightly on the shoulder. A kiss was then planted on her cheek that tingled with a cool mint leaf sensation. Lilly was emblazoned in light.
Down the line they went meeting gorgeous statues of all different lands and languages. In all, there were only nine of them but these nine each said something different to Corpus either reassuring him of something or offering him happy tidings. Though confusing, she could still grasp the concepts of the words.
The crowd dispersed, all of them quiet now, except for a few excited voices. Cocking her head, Lilly listened closely. She couldn't make out any words or hints of what people thought of her. It all sounded like a constant buzzing or humming.
"Come, let me show you where I live."
Venturing forth into a world she had never been exposed to, Lillith Vespacelli was welcomed to her new home. She saw only once or twice a few of the people that she had met outside and soon formed the opinion that these men and women were of Corpus' court—his chosen ones—though none of them had titles and revered Corpus by his Christian name. Inside was brightly lit within the largest of the buildings and well furnished. Yet there was still a draft amongst the burning fires that cackled in every room.
She was led straight to a chamber where the two of them were left alone. Finally, Corpus would surely tell her the truth. Had he been embarrassed to do such things amidst strangers? Did he feel more comfortable in a place that he knew? And how was this to be performed? Pridora had failed to mention that.
His back was to her watching out the windows at something she couldn't see. What he said next was shocking to say the least. "Please don't be worried, but I'm afraid that consummating our marriage would be a moot point."
That was it? That was his grand explanation? It was a "moot point"? Lilly couldn't help it as the worry crept into her intestines and throat blocking her voice. Her tear ducts were about to burst. Unfortunately, they did sooner than she could control them. He couldn't be doing this to her! An unconsummated marriage would be a devastation to her mother and father! They needed to know that she was wed and bed and that everything was alright. If they saw her in the future without having been deflowered she was sure she couldn't keep up the pretense of happiness.
"You're crying?" He sounded astounded by the immediate response.
"Please! You cannot expect me to agree to that." Her back began to move with the tremors of her cries and she was embarrassed when, at an unrelenting moment in time, she snorted through the sudden intake of breath. She quickly turned to try and calm herself, but the tears only worsened and it wasn't long until her whole chest heaved. She was doing exactly as she was told and Corpus didn't want her.
"If I told you the reason, you wouldn't believe me."
"Mother told me that you would. I'm not pretty enough, am I? You just chose me to humiliate me. Picked the ripest fruit so others couldn't have it but then wishing you hadn't. You selfish monster."
A word Lilly said must have really upset him. She could hear something break behind her, but wasn't in the mood to care about finery being broken. This wasn't fair to do to a person…
Without warning, Corpus' hands were on her. She had no time to prepare herself for the feeling and her gasp rocked off her breath and into the still air. Goosebumps appeared. "You are right in every sense. I am selfish—a very, very, very selfish monster. But I do want you…just not now. It wouldn't be safe for you in your mortal state."
Lilly shook her head to try and clear the confusion that was taking over. None of these people or words or phrases that were formed made any sense to her. When Corpus had appeared, nothing made sense any longer. She ripped her hands from his and wiped her eyes with the back of her hands. "Tell me why not so I can have some peace of mind? Are you some kind of Grecian God here to torment me like Zeus and his many mistresses?" Lillith's cheeks blushed at the thought and it was his turn to make noises with his breath. He groaned softly, his eyes clouding with an emotion she couldn't place. She noticed that his hand had moved up almost like he was willing it to brush her cheekbone with the tips of his fingers. It was frozen in place, his hand. "I wish I could."
"Do I have to beg you?" How he could hear her, she wasn't sure. But he was responsive and opened his mouth to speak. Before he could, she continued. "I'll beg if that's what you wish." Lilly dropped down to her knees and began to weep at his feet. There were hands around her waist, ever so gentle. Placing her in his lap on the bed she felt oddly at comfort. Her own personal armrest. Corpus moved in as if to kiss her, but hesitated. His eyes flashed before descending down on her neck. Her heart was slowly skipping along waiting for him to kiss her there. Instead, he inhaled deeply, his cool breath on—
Lilly's eyes snapped open. His breath. Cold. Lilly couldn't utter a sound at the fright that zapped into her nerves. He took her wrist and inhaled there as well, kissing it, the cold skin brushing itself along her veins. The scent was unnerving, filling up her nostrils and conscious sense with wild fantasies. She felt drawn in to a preditor—a very handsome one. Corpus was no predator but…
When he moved his eyes to meet hers, she clamped hers shut. This was not real. She was imagining his breath and its temperature. He was human—living, breathing, eating…
Was he eating? She had never once seen him partake of food. She never had time. They were never together until now. What would be the explanation for this? What would he say?
Opening her eyes, she found herself lying down alone on the damask covering of the bed without Corpus in sight. How had she gotten there? Surely she hadn't been asleep. Trying the doors in the room, she found them all locked. Why would he lock her in? Her attention honed in on the steaming plate of food on a small table. Lilly frowned believing herself to have blacked out.
Forcing it from her mind, she nibbled at the food enjoying the heat. Bartelona wasn't so cold in the buildings but the windows were draped lovingly in frost. Once eating was finished there was nothing else to do besides go to sleep but even that proved to be dull. Lilly's heart slowed with the scenes that formed behind her eyelids. The last thing she recalled was Corpus's cold breath on her neck before tripping down into a deep slumber.