12. Izumo, don't set Maito Gai on fire so you "can see his flames of youth more clearly." Even if he seems to think this is a good idea. Especially if he thinks this a good idea.
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There were very few people that Izumo hated in the world, but he was a major grudge holder, which meant that if you did get on his bad side, you were basically condemned to a life torment. The only exceptions were his two best friends, who often got on his bad side, but just bought their way back in new scrolls.
Maito Gai just happened to be the one person that Izumo hated the most. His loud, boisterous attitude just grated on the poor boy's nerves. That and the fact the green-spandex-wearer had destroyed his apartment on more than one occasion. Living next door to the soon-to-become-taijutsu-master really put a strain on Izumo's carefully planned budget (1).
Iruka almost felt sorry for the older boy, except he too had been subjected to Gai's antics. Thus he felt no pity whenever Izumo discreetly placed gum near, around or on the other teen.
Izumo nearly blew up when Gai demolished his bedroom; he'd slept in the living room for months while the workers rebuilt it. His rage, however, had been fairly well contained, and placed in a growing box in his mind. He repeated the process many times, even when the green-clad boy had mashed his kitchen in on itself, condemning him to a month of take-out and bottled water.
But this, this was the last straw, the stick that broke the camels back.
Gai was not supposed to turn up with Ibiki so he could teach them some taijutsu. This was a tesspass on the contract that Zumo had made up in his mind. He'd put up with the green-man at home, but not while their sensei went off with the fourth Hokage.
It was utterly unacceptable. Especially today, because he had already listened to the teen all night, chanting guidance prayers and spontaneously deciding to practice his terribly loud and long speeches.
Forty minutes of sleep was not enough for Izumo. Maybe for Kotetsu or Iruka, who were already insane enough as it was. But Izumo, usually the calm, collected one, did not function properly without his sleep. His mental capacity went down about fifty percent, and his tolerance decreased to nothing.
He glared hotly at his nemesis. Not that Gai even thought of him as a potential rival, but just the fact that Izumo hated Gai as much as cats hate water put the green beast in terrible danger during that particular period of time.
Izumo knew that he was no match for his neighbor; he'd seen him train, and the man was faster and more experienced then he was on a huge level. So beating him to a pulp with his own two hands wouldn't work. He mumbled to himself.
Kotetsu glanced at his friends utterly fascinated at how Zumo-chan had reacted to the loud green thing.
Surly there was no other word for it. It was loud, green, and annoying. Thus it would be called, Kotogara-san(2).
Kotogara-san was currently being prompted on his mission. "Gai-san," Ibiki growled, "I want you to keep this trio in line. They're more trouble then they're worth, but surely someone as energetic as you can handle three genin brats?" He almost smirked at his cleverness. There was no way that Gai would be able to turn this mission down now. He'd had a hard time finding anyone who would babysit his team after Yemon ended up having a breakdown. He really should have held off on teaching them physiological warfare, but it was just so amusing sometimes. "Oh," he added, looking backwards at the green-clad chunin, "Teach them something, too. Just 'cause I'm not here doesn't mean then can slack off." He glared at all of them in turn, lingering on Iruka, who was actually more concerned about Izumo surviving the day then making mischief for their substitute sensei.
As soon as Ibiki vanished in a cloud of smoke, Kotetsu attacked, "Kotogara-san! What's it like being a chunin? Do you get to kill people? Do you train like crazy? Are you aspiring to be a teacher? Do you want to advance to jounin or stay as a chunin? Was it hard learning all your taijutsu? How much time did it take? Are you gay? 'cause that outfit is serious repellent for girls." Hedgehog-head waited in anticipation for answers. Anyone that dressed like that must be interesting. (3)
Gai looked taken aback for a moment before recovering quickly. Such enthusiasm! "YOU ARE IN THE SPRING TIME OF YOUR YOUTH, SUCH PASSION IS ADMIRABLE FOR ONE SO YOUNG, YOU HAVE MY ADMIRATION, YOUNG GRASSHOPPER!"
Izumo felt his eye twitch. Gai wasn't that much older than any of them, maybe only by a couple years, but it was not the span of time that would qualify them as "young grasshoppers."
"MAY YOUR FLAMES OF YOUTH BURN AS BRIGHT AS MINE DO!" He moved into good-guy pose number twenty-four. "COME NOW, COMRADES OF SPRINGTIME! MAY WE SHINE BRIGHTLY TOGETHER!"
Izumo's mental capacity took longer than usual to process the words, but once it had, he grinned evilly.
"Kotogara-sensei," he approached, his smile more alarming then it had been a while ago. "I'm afraid that I am blind to your wonderful fires of youth. Might you find a way that I can see them too?"
Gai looked rather put out. How could anyone not see his magnificent flames of youth? Had they dimmed? The thought chilled him.
Izumo inched closer "Perhaps if we set you on fire I would be able to see them? I'm sure that since they are always with you it will be fine. Oh youthful sensei."
Gai considered this. It made sense to him, and he owed it to all young boys to allow them to experience his youthful flames at least once. "OF COURSE, MY SHINOBI BROTHER! LET US SET OUT TO FIND SOME INTRUEMNTS WITH WHICH TO CREATE THE SPARK OF MY YOUTHFULNESS!"
Iruka shrugged; he wasn't about to stop it, so why not watch to see what went on? It was better then watching Izumo explode in some horribly violent way. "Don't bother; I've got a lighter with me."
The three turned to look at him; "Why do you have a lighter?" Gai asked uncertainly.
Iruka blinked, "Umm…always be prepared?" he answered "'cause I'm defiantly not a pyro or anything."
Gai blinked away the tears, "SUCH A RESPONSIBLE YOUNG NINJA! I AM PROUD OF YOU!"
Iruka panicked, afraid that Gai would attack him with a hug, and threw the lighter to Izumo. "It's all yours, Zumo."
"YES! LIGHT ME, GOOD FRIEND!" Gai proclaimed, throwing his arms out like an airplane.
Izumo just smirked, "With pleasure Maito-san, with much pleasure."
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Kakashi swore; here he was attempting to avoid Gai, and his self-proclaimed rival was getting in trouble! He had sworn as a ninja of the village that he would help any man that needed it, but maybe if he pretended that he hadn't heard Gai's screams of pain and agony…he sighed.
No way that was going to happen. Resigning himself to his fate, Kakashi set off toward his burning rival and the three genin that were watching in amusement.
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Izumo's parents have died…I don't really know if it's true, but this is the way it is here in my made-up world where the Fourth is still alive, k?
Kotogara means "thing" so he's literally calling Gai "thing"-san
Iruka and Izumo have met Gai, but Kotetsu hasn't. Just so you know.
