Disclaimer: Would I be writing this if I owned SaiYuki? No. Also if I did, I wouldn't be known as GirlWithNoLife, now would I? I do own Tsuki though!
Summary: Sanzo's secret has finally been revealed! Now that the boys all know Sanzo's a girl, emotions are going haywire! And with Sanzo's death closely approaching, what is she to do? And who are these strange gods that keep appearing? And who of the boys will win Sanzo's heart?
By the way, this is taking place during the Reload series, so that's what everybody's outfit is. This particular chapter is inspired by Patalliro SaiYuki ep. 13
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Sanzo let out an irritated sigh as she killed the last Youkai.
"That's the last of them." she said.
"Man, this is sooo irritating." said Gojyo. "I wish something more dangerous would come at least, that would keep me awake at least."
"Speak for yerself! This is great compared to a week ago." said Goku as he shivered, remembering Sanzo on her PMS. It wasn't that bad. It was just one moment she was a sweet angel and the next she was worse than the devil! He didn't mind the seductive Sanzo though.
"Hi guys!" said Tsuki as he suddenly appeared. Today he was a man with long black hair and blue eyes.
"Oh, it's you. The moocher." said Gojyo boredly.
"Huh? Wha?" blinked Tsuki. "You want to say that again?"
"You come around all the time, making fun of us, and yet you never do anything! I bet you can't even fight!" accused Gojyo, trying to bait Tsuki. He had been really curious about Tsuki and wanted to see him fight.
"Now, now, Gojyo!" said Hakkai.
"He does more than you, kappa." said Sanzo.
"Yeah, he shops, but can he do anything manly?" asked Gojyo.
"I could break your neck." said Tsuki as he rubbed the back of his head. "And it's not that I can't fight, it's just that I'm not allowed to meddle with mortals. But..." Suddenly they were all surrounded by demons.
"Sanzo Party! Prepare to die!" the demons yelled. Goku sweat dropped.
"Could they at least get a new line? I'm gettin' sooo gettin' sick of hearing that." he said. "Who said that was the last of 'em?"
"Excuse me! Mindless demons! Does this mean you're challenging me as well so if I fight I won't technically be meddling?" Tsuki asked like a highschool student.
"Uh... Sure. Why not?" said one of the demons.
"Alright, this is awesome! Hey, Sanzo! Can I fight 'em? Huh? Can I?!" Tsuki asked Sanzo with sparkly eyes.
"...Do whatever you want." said Sanzo, a little disturbed by his eagerness.
"Awesome!!" cheered Tsuki. Then he turned to the demons with a smirk. "I'll just take them all out with a small whirl wind spell." He chanted a spell and the wind started to pick up big time. In fact the little whirl wind had turned into a giant tornado!
"WHOA!! HEY! Hey! I thought you were just going to make a small whirlwind... NOT START A FRICKIN' HURRICANE!!" yelled Gojyo as he grabbed on to a rock. Hakkai was shielding Sanzo and Hakuryu.
"WAAH!! I don't like small spells! They're hard!" whined Tsuki.
"Shouldn't it be the other way around?!" yelled Gojyo.
"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHH!!!" they all yelled.
//Later//
Goku woke up hours, moaning.
"Unhhh..." he moaned. He looked around. He seemed to be in some kind of desert. "Where... Where am I? Where's Sanzo?!"
"Well... To answer your first question, we seem to be in some kind of desert." said Tsuki next to him.
"Nani?! Tsuki?!" Goku exclaimed.
"The one and only." said Tsuki as he dusted himself off.
"Do you know where we are?"
"Not a clue."
"What about the others?!" Goku asked.
"Also no clue."
"You're no help!!" yelled Goku.
"Not tryin'." said Tsuki as he pulled something out of his pocket.
"Damn! I don't have time for this! I gotta find Sanzo!" Goku yelled as he started to run off. Just then Tsuki grabbed the back of his cape, making him fall.
"Cool your jets, monkey." he said.
"How can you be so calm when Sanzo is missing?!" Goku yelled.
"Because I'm not a love sick highschool boy." said Tsuki calmly. "And because I know exactly where Sanzo is."
"Huh? Really?" asked Goku.
"Yep, see? The blinking red dot is Sanzo." said Tsuki as he showed Goku the tracker.
"Nani? What's that?"
"The tracer I put on Sanzo."
"Eh?! You put a tracer on her?!" exclaimed Goku.
"Yeah, I'm a stalker. What do you expect? From what my tracker says Sanzo is on the other side of this desert. Now let's start walkin'. We have a long walk ahead of us. A very long walk." said Tsuki as he stood.
"What?! We have to walk?" whined Goku.
"Duh. I don't have a car and Sanzo made me get rid of my flying city. So we have to walk." said a bored Tsuki.
"But I'm hungry!!" whined Goku.
"Just start walking!"
//2 hours later//
Goku and Tsuki had been walking through the hot desert for two hour.
"Man! I'm hot! And sooo hungry!" whined a hot and sweaty Goku.
"The summer grass and the soldiers are like fragments of a dream." Tsuki muttered.
"Huh? You say somethin' Tsuki?" asked Goku.
"I said, 'The summer grass and the soldiers are like fragments of a dream.' Do you know what that means?" Tsuki asked.
"Uhh... I dunno. Isn't it some kind of Haiku?" said Goku.
"Yup. And a famous one too. That is too say, summer should be a season for Kusaya." said Tsuki(A/N: The word 'Kusaya' means grass in Haiku, but Tsuki changed it to mean a salted fish delicacy in Japan also called 'Kusaya'.).
"Yeah! I could go for that!" said Goku. "I see! Was that a haiku about Salted fish?" Tsuki laughed.
"Summer is the season for delicious salted fish!" he laughed. "A long time ago, there was a contest about how much rice one could eat with salted fish as a dish. The poet saw this and described it in his Haiku."
"Eh? I didn't know that." said Goku. "You really know a lot."
"Nah... Kusaya is a type of Moroaji fish that is dried and marinaded in salt. With an attractive special taste, it is considered a delicate dish. But... It has nothin' to do with the Kusaya Haiku at all." laughed Tsuki.
"What?!! That means what you just said was a lie!" Goku accused.
"Yup. I can't believe you believed me! Ha, ha! Moron! Man, I wish Gojyo were here!" Tsuki laughed. Goku growled as he steamed.
"Grr... You! I don't know how Sanzo can put up with you! You're always saying things that don't make sense!" he growled. "But why did Kusaya come up all the sudden?"
"That's because... I'm hungry too. I couldn't help it. I thought that I could appease myself by talking about food." said Tsuki as his stomach growled loudly as if to prove his point. "How would I know it would only make it worst?" he added as his stomach growled louder. Goku did a anime fall.
"Make it stop! It's annoying! And you're makin' me hungrier than before!" he yelled.
"Okay." said Tsuki as his stomach immediately stopped growling. Goku sweat dropped. Then they heard another stomach growl.
"Shut up!" Goku yelled as he hit Tsuki.
"OW! It wasn't me!!" Tsuki yelled. Then Goku's stomach growled.
"Eh, heh... Oops!" Goku said.
"Baka!" yelled Tsuki as he smacked Goku's head.
"By the way... What was with that hurricane you started in the first place anyways?" asked Goku as he rubbed his head.
"Well, I didn't do it on purpose. Like I said, some spells are hard for human. It's like trying to stop a bunch of water, so not easy. That's why Sanzo lost control that one time. Magic is really, really hard. To powerful for humans. But I know all the basics and all, so it doesn't hurt that much. However, since Sanzo doesn't know it could be real dangerous. And those spirits are gonna try to take advantage of that." Tsuki explained.
"Say wha?" said Goku. Tsuki sighed.
"Sanzo's power is connected too the spirit realm, therefore she can see, hear, talk, and call on 'em. That's what happened that time with the kraken. Turns out was a powerful spirit, so we had to summon another really strong spirit to beat him. Which is why we had to get Sanzo really, really mad. I dunno why but spirits seem to love rage. Guess it's because it makes a person easy to control. Anyway, the reason Sanzo lost control yesterday was because the spirit was tryin' to take her over and since fighting a spirit is really stressful, she could have died, especially since she was blinded by rage at the moment. So it was good you knocked her out of it otherwise, there would have been no more Sanzo. You get it?"
"So even though you knew Sanzo could have died, you had her do... whatever she did yesterday?! What the hell were you thinkin'?!" yelled Goku.
"I was thinking that I didn't want to get killed by some giant squid. Now stop whinin' and start walking. We have to keep movin'." said Tsuki as he started walking again.
//That night//
"Man! This desert just goes on and on! I thought you said we'd probably get somewhere if we just walked a little!" moaned Goku after they had been walking for hours. "Tsuki?" He looked behind him and saw the dried out form of Tsuki. He looked like a skeleton. "WAAAH!! Tsuki's all dried out! Snap out of it, man!" yelled Goku as he slapped Tsuki.
"Oh, man... I should have chosen the form of a demon when I regained my physical form." sighed Tsuki. "I'm so hungry I feel like I'm going to die!"
"I know what you mean!" sighed Goku. "I'm so hungry!" Then he spotted something. "Ah! Look! A city!"
"Really?! What are we watin' for?! Let's go!" Tsuki yelled as he grabbed Goku and dashed towards the city.
"Wah!" exclaimed Goku in surprise.
The city was brightly lit and colorfully decorated.
"Wow! This place is so lively. And look at all that food!" said Goku as he looked at it from an ally. "Right, Tsuki?" he said as he looked back at Tsuki. Then he did a anime fall when he saw the get up Tsuki was wearing. He was wearing golden bullets, grenades, a bazooka gun on his back and was holding two rifles(basically a army man.).
"What's with that get up?!" yelled Goku.
"In case you've forgotten, we have no money. And I'm tired of stealin', so I'm just going to shoot my way through!" said Tsuki as the sunglasses he was wearing flashed. "Follow me if you want to eat!"
"Yes, sir..." said Goku with anime tears as he followed, carrying a machine gun. He was too hungry to argue. Then they heard a person handing out flyers yell,
"There's a huge cash prize in the grand stage."
"Huh?" said Goku and Tsuki as they turned.
"Everyone is welcome." the person continued. "Come! Come!"
"Did ya hear that, Tsuki? There's a huge cash prize! If we win, we can use the money to buy food!" said Goku.
"Aww! I wanted to shoot my way through." sighed Tsuki.
"Okay, it says anyone can join the competition. If it's some kind of fighting contest we can win it, no problem! I hope it's a eating contest!" said Goku as he read the flyer. Then he saw something on the flyer. "Hm? Oh. I guess we can't do it."
"Nani? Why?" asked Tsuki.
"It's a beauty contest. Women only. It's says here, 'The town's wealthy man, Minister Chan, is organizing a beauty contest. The beauty who catches his eye can travel, all expenses paid. Second prize is 500 dollars.'. Ah, man." sighed Goku. "Oh, well." Then he was suddenly in a Rambo outfit. "We'll just have to shoot our way through."
"Goku! Why are you thinking of such a dangerous way?" interrupted Tsuki(It was your idea in the first place!!). "Have you forgotten who I am?"
"Huh?" said Goku. Tsuki sighed.
"We can't win, but I'll bet San-chan could." he said.
"But Sanzo's not here! And even if she was, she would never do anything like this!" said Goku.
"Fool!" said Tsuki as he did a flying kick on Goku, sending him into a wall. "You really have forgotten who I am! Observe!" he went behind a wall and came out as Sanzo!
"Ah! That's right! You can disguise yerself! You could go as Sanzo and win the money so we can buy food!" said Goku, realizing.
"Right! Now I just have to sign up and win. This'll be so much fun!" clapped Tsuki in Sanzo's voice, a little more cheery. Goku sweat dropped.
//At the competition//
Goku and Tsuki were both at the competition looking around.
"So who do you think is Minister Chan?" asked Goku.
"I'm guessing it's the stone face man over there surrounded by servants." said Tsuki, who in Sanzo form now. Goku turned and saw a man with a stone face and stubby black hair.
"Oh." he said. "Do you think you can win?" he asked Tsuki.
"But of course! Leave it to me!" said Tsuki as he ran forward. Then he ran up on the stage flipping his short golden hair sexily, and letting his robes down a bit to show a bit of bare skin on his now femmin skin(no black shirt), and instead of boots, he was wearing red high heels. In other words, he was looking totally sexy. Minister Chan blushed deeply. Goku sweat dropped.
'Shit... If Sanzo sees this, we're dead!' he thought as he blushed a little. Minister Chan stood so fast, his seat fell back.
"I have reached my decision!" he announced. Tsuki smirked in victory.
"Good job." said Goku as he did a thumbs up. Minister Chan walked up to Tsuki.
"What is your name? Age?" he asked.
"Genjyo Sanzo. 23 years old." said Tsuki cutely. Minister Chan shook in delight and grabbed his hands.
"Please marry me!" he said. Goku turned paper white as his jaw dropped through the floor when he heard this.
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Whoa! Looks like Tsuki did it again! And he's getting married! Actually, Sanzo is since Tsuki's in her form. Poor Goku. He's stuck alone with Tsuki!
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