Chapter 12 – The First Date
Sometimes, irony seems to be an almost audible voice of cutting, sardonic laughter. Even in the midst of his discomfort, the irony of his situation was not lost on Shadow. He was the self-proclaimed "Ultimate Lifeform," made to be an unstoppable weapon that would be unmatched by any situation. He was unafraid to engage in mortal combat with giant robots a hundred times his size and yet his intestines writhed like a horde of slime-covered eels at the thought of facing Rouge in the world's most basic courting ritual.
In that moment he realized that torture is merely the anticipation of the inevitable. No physical pain is required, no psychological warfare necessary to feel all the weight of a thousand bricks upon one's chest cavity. It requires only anxiety.
His entire posture was affected, as each and every joint in his body seemed to grind against each other as if he were a rusting machine. By now, he was comfortable enough with being around her on a regular basis, and eating meals with her… It was the impending approach of the moment where he would make his intentions known that had curdled his very blood, and left him staring mindlessly down at a mess of soggy pancakes.
Every moment or so, he would glance over to observe the glaring contrast between them, and try to force himself to broach the subject. Whereas he was all agitation, she lounged loosely in her chair, sipping lemonade through a straw and wearing fuzzy pajamas. She seemed to sense his greater than usual jumpiness without making herself too concerned about it, as if nothing could possibly pierce her utter, lazy tranquility. Without rousing herself from her state of relaxation, she slid her hands slowly over his shoulder blades, feeling the tense muscle tighten like living concrete under her fingertips.
"What's the matter, Shadow? You seem… nervous," she purred, noting with satisfaction that she seemed neither to repel nor to calm him – leaving another alternative.
"Oh, who… me? Are you- are you kidding? I'm not- not nervous in the slightest," he responded defensively, his jaw clenching as he did.
Rouge could spend all day drinking in the sweet nectar of his embarrassment, but she also knew that she couldn't expect him to take the first baby step if he was too disarrayed to think straight. She decided to cheat, to help him along a bit, "Now Shadow, I can see right through you. You're clearly very stressed. It's not good for you to do nothing but work all the time – maybe you should do something to relax."
As naive as he was, Shadow saw this as his opportunity without also seeing that Rouge had effectively dropped it into his lap. He faltered a moment as his mind raced for what to say, but an image occurred to him of what Sonic would say if he backed down now. He'd never hear the end of it. People might start to talk; they might start to think that he was inferior to Sonic, that he couldn't beat him at his own game! He couldn't very well allow that to happen. Shadow's nerves had ultimately been conquered by the only part of him more prominent and pervading – his ego.
"Um… Rouge," he began, as she smiled encouragingly, "since you say I need to relax, I was wondering if you'd want to take a walk with me on the beach."
"Oh, you are just the sweetest thing," she chirped, before answering, "I'd love to. When do you want to go?"
"I… was thinking… that later this evening, around... six?" he felt his throat restrict unbearably when she gazed at him with her luscious aquamarine eyes.
"Watch the sun set, right? Mm, a date, then? Since when have you been so romantic, and sentimental?" she teased.
It was as if a shot of calm was injected into his body. His agitated state relaxed in a moment, as if her acceptance had finally dawned on him, and his confidence had returned. A hint of a smirk played at the corner of his lips, and he relaxed as he became accustomed to her banter.
"What can I say, I'm full of surprises," he responded slyly, although his voice still faltered slightly.
Rouge was surprised that he'd managed to make a reply at all, much less such a clever and skilled one, but it pleased her that her partner was beginning to catch on to how flirting and social interaction were supposed to go.
"Well then, it's a pleasant surprise," she paused momentarily to view his unveiled look of triumph before continuing, "I'm going to go shopping with Amy for awhile. You just stay here, okay?"
Shadow was a bit wounded that she seemed to be trying to escape, but after a moment of consideration, realized she probably just wanted to go and tell Amy what had transpired. Since the two had initially met as enemies and rivals, they had come to understand one another more, each sympathizing with the other on their seemingly hopeless romantic aspirations.
Rouge had never had much of a girl-friend before, keeping mainly to more professional relationships, but she found that the experiences of a more settled life were enjoyable… and for the times when she craved the excitement the life of a jewel thief provided, she could usually depend on her work with GUN to produce this adrenaline rush.
Before he even realized it, she disappeared out the door, leaving him staring after her rather numbly for a moment.
'What am I doing? I don't have to sit here like an idiot just waiting for her to get back. I can at least find something to pass the time.' He began to scan the room for something to occupy himself for a few hours, when he saw a bookshelf towards the back of the room. 'Hm... perhaps there's something interesting to read.'
He fell to a perusal of Rouge's selection, but found little that seemed to interest him – a book here and there on gemstones, a sappy romance novel thrown in every once and awhile. 'I'd better find something soon. Dear God! What will people say if I'm actually reduced to reading a romance novel?'
His eye passed in curiosity over an unmarked book bound in a finely grooved leather cover. Sliding it out smoothly from among the others, he was surprised to find that the front of the book was embossed with the single word: "journal."
'I've never heard of a book called Journal… there's not even an author listed.' He noticed quizzically, as he plopped down on the couch, book in hand. Turning to the first page, he saw that it seemed to be handwritten, and dated. At first, he was rather confused by the vague and rambling entries, but gradually, he came to realize that they had been written by Rouge. 'This is similar to the Professor's diary… but it is written on paper, by Rouge. I wonder if it's alright for me to read it...'
On the one hand, he reasoned, if Rouge had desired him to read it, she probably would've shown it to him by now. There was no reason for it to be hidden amongst other books if she wanted it read. On the other hand, it seemed rather illogical to him that if a person doesn't want others to know what they've thought or done that they would write it down on paper.
At last, he decided to browse just a bit, somewhat randomly.
A Few Months Before…
Sometimes I wish he would just drop the act of sternness and kiss me – just join together in passion and be there in that moment, together. Shadow and I are together most of the time, but I feel as if he's not really there with me, like he's too afraid to really let me in and be with the real him. I know that in the past, he was hurt very much, and that the pain from what happened to him on the ARK must be very deep… but sometimes I feel as if he'll never get over it – never lead a normal life.
I hope for Shadow's sake that's not true, that he'll come around eventually, and be himself… but some wounds just go too deep, I guess. Today he was especially moody – he was fairly rude in his replies when I tried to talk to him. It hurts me very badly when he acts like he doesn't care about anything or anyone, like he's going to kill himself at any moment. I only hope that it really is all an act.
A Few Weeks Before…
Shadow seems to finally be coming around, to finally be comfortable showing his true self, even though this is happening very slowly. I've noticed that I'll see him smile slightly every once in awhile, which is a big deal, because it used to be nothing but gloom and doom. So now I don't have to worry about his moodiness so much, but it still feels like I've made no progress at all sometimes.
I mean, really, Shadow still thinks like a machine, even when he is behaving like his true self, and machines aren't known for their capacity for tender emotions – just look at Omega. Sometimes it seems like the only emotions Dr. Eggman bothered to program in him are rage and hatred. I just hope that Shadow doesn't stay that way – feeling nothing but the negatives.
Even if I can't ever bring Shadow to love me, I at least hope that he'll someday be really, truly happy. He's had so much sadness in his life, and I just feel like someone who has suffered so much and really is a good person at heart deserves happiness in their life. It would mean the world to me if Shadow could find that - even more if I could be the means.
A Few Days Prior…
It is pretty obvious to me by now that Shadow shares my affection, in his own, awkward, frustrated manner. It's pretty funny to watch him squirm, but I know that deep down, he's enjoying all of my little teasing, as he really doesn't seem to be complaining. Now I just have to get him to come out of his shell, and he'll basically be set.
Of course, this is the most crucial step. I believe Shadow has to feel comfortable in order to make any real progress, and if I'm constantly making him feel uncomfortable, he'll never actually approach me. I'll just play down my usual advances a bit for a little while until he makes a move. Hook, line, and sinker.
Yesterday…
Something is going on… I can tell – but not just with Shadow. Everyone has been acting strange lately… Sonic, Omega, Amy… like they're all in on some big secret that I don't know about. To top it off, Shadow has made like he was going to say something important several times in the last few days, but became too nervous to continue, which is frustrating.
As much as I care for him, I refuse to do all the work in the relationship. In order for it to be mutual, Shadow is going to have to find his manliness. I won't be the one to ask him out. If he really cares enough, he'll overcome his nerves and do it. Ha ha, I just hope I don't grow old waiting for him. He may have forever, I unfortunately do not!
He felt a bit more confident now that he knew Rouge had been waiting for him to ask her out the entire time, and that she'd returned his secretive affections for awhile. On the other hand, Rouge's frank remarks about his numerous personal flaws brought grave consideration to his mind. He knew that he had never been particularly socially apt, but he'd always though that this would be the deterrence of her affections. Seeing her so lovingly look past, but simultaneously recognize his points of personal weakness was an epiphany in and of itself. The personal distance he tended to create between himself and others was a display of strength, of self-sufficiency designed to keep others from detecting a weakness. But Rouge had so easily seen through the façade to the heart of the real problem – that mask of impenetrable cold, aloof strength, that was his true weakness; his inability to trust anyone, to trust life itself.
Sinking to his knees, he gasped slightly as a warmth began to gather behind his eyelids. Feeling the hot drops begin to course down his cheeks, he suppressed the first low sob, but at length, the emotions which had been contained for so long burst free all at once, raging forth – the dam had burst. The agony of knowing he had caused her sadness in his effort to maintain his "safety" wracked him all at once, leaving him in a state of emotional rather than physical exhaustion.
Somehow he managed to rouse himself, and for awhile, sat in a state of numb confusion. By the time he was lucid enough to be alert, he glanced at the clock and realized that Rouge would be back soon. Rushing frantically and yet rather aimlessly about, he quickly placed the journal back in its spot on the bookshelf. He felt as if he should be preparing somehow, sprucing himself up or something, but he had no idea how to go about this.
Failing to produce a conclusive answer as to how to make himself as attractive a prospect as possible, he at last fell to drinking a bottle of water with disarrayed, sloshing motions. Agonizingly, he could hear her laughing and walking up to the door and he desperately tried to calm his nerves and make himself seem natural and relaxed. Of course, by trying to make himself relax too deliberately, he ending up looking all the more uncomfortable and silly.
She came through the door to find him slouching in a comically laid-back position on the couch, his arm extended and fingers wrapped lazily around his water bottle. In his absent-minded state, he forgot to hang onto it enough to keep it in his hand, and it fell to the floor with a clunk, startling himself and prompting a small, suppressed laugh from Rouge.
"I know that you're just itching to be going, but you'll have to give me a minute to change," she smiled slyly, rendering him utterly incapable of doing anything more than nodding enthusiastically.
Shadow squirmed slightly in his chair, as Rouge seemed to deliberately be taking her sweet time. Seconds to him seemed like eons, and he drummed his fingertips rhythmically on his knee to try to coerce time to move faster.
After what seemed to Shadow to be hours, the huntress finally emerged from her bedroom, her light pink skirt swaying slowly with the movement of her hips. His fingers stopped their tapping and clenched down hard on his leg, as he watched her in mute astonishment.
"Shadow, you're staring," she smirked slightly, as he leapt up in embarrassment, a crimson tint singeing his cheeks.
"Um- I was just... just admiring how pretty you are," he recovered, opening the door for her. She raised her eyebrow slightly at his gentlemanly display, wondering to herself where he had learned such behavior.
Soon, they were out the door and on their way.
Shadow couldn't help but glance at her every moment or so, seeming to feel as if he should hold her hand, but unable to muster the courage to just grab it. She smiled at him mildly, sensing his discomfort and hoping simply to put him at ease. Quietly, she curled her fingers around his loosely swaying hand, gripping it lightly.
Shadow felt the breath catch in his lungs, as his heartbeat accelerated to an exhilarating speed. Slowly, almost involuntarily, he felt his own hand return her an affectionate squeeze, as he stared down pensively at where his toes pushed apart the sand into small trenches and mounds.
The sound of the waves rolling softly over the beach mirrored the sound of thoughts slowly rolling over in his mind – ever turning, never furious, yet always restless. Still, he felt that the sea was a comforting place to be – it had been the first thing that had struck him as beautiful when he surveyed the Earth from high above with Maria.
At last he glanced up again, to find that Rouge was gazing at him piercingly, her aquamarine eyes reflecting the gold light of the downwards titling sun. That uncanny gaze that could send a shiver down his spine and his heart into a swoon all at once. He gulped softly, and the pair continued on, walking quietly on the beach together as the orange sun slowly waned.
Meanwhile, sitting a few hundred yards offshore in comically small rowboat was the world-famous speedster, Sonic. Pulled down over his head was a shady, wide-brimmed fedora, and he rowed sneakily along, glancing over a newspaper and chomping down on a chili dog decked with trimmings.
Turning over his shoulder, he pulled an outrageously large bronze telescope out of the bottom of his boat, peering through it at the lovestruck couple and turning away every few seconds to pretend to be reading the paper in case they saw him. Looking up, he saw that they had advanced along the beech, and gripped the oars tightly, pushing himself deftly through the water with long, powerful strokes.
'Everything is unfolding according to my plan,' he laughed in imitation of his nefarious archenemy.
No sooner had he advanced enough to keep up with Shadow and Rouge, and returned to the use of his telescope, when the boat shook as furiously as an earthquake, startling Sonic. He turned around to find Omega sitting with his hands folded mildly on the other end of the boat, tipping it downwards severely, but seeming not to notice.
'How could I forget about my stalwart companion?' he rolled his eyes.
"Lifeform: Sonic, I have elected to accompany you on your aquatic voyage in this rudimentary craft with the objective: observe, target: Shadow and target: Rouge to ensure that Operation: Matchmaker may proceed as planned," Omega seemed to chirp in an odd mixture of both robotic staleness and almost organic enthusiasm.
"Yes, I'm sure you want to watch too... but don't you think that you're too heavy for the boat? It's tipping right now," Sonic pointed out, glancing back quickly to make sure that their targets had not wandered off.
"Perhaps if this unit were to shift its weight into the center of the craft, the displacement of water would be held in equilibrium," he responded, shifting closer to Sonic and almost forcing him out of the tiny row boat.
"Omega, there's not enough space," Sonic insisted, shoving against him in futility before resigning himself to sharing the miniscule boat, and again peering through the telescope and chuckling.
"Comrade Sonic, this unit has an inquiry to present to you. Would you be magnanimous enough to permit this unit to make use of the magnification device: telescope?"
"No, it's mine! Besides... don't you have built in... digital zoom doohickies or something?" Sonic responded, shoving Omega ineffectually.
Sonic jerked away, gazing through the telescope at the couple walking across the beach. For a moment, Omega simply sat and stared at him, an oddly bright light seemingly to glare in his normally hot-coal glow eyes.
"Sonic... this unit will inquire cordially a final time. Give me the telescope," Omega sharply commanded in a suppressed, threatening tone.
"Omega, stop it!" Sonic shouted at his robot companion, jerking the bronze telescope away as the robot's massive, trunk-like arms outstretched to grab it. Omega practically tackled Sonic, wrestling with him to pull away the precious telescope, rocking the small boat back and forth.
"Y-you're going to flip over the boat!" Sonic screamed, the wood underneath him convulsing and buckling with each movement of the hulking robot.
"Give me the telescope!" Omega bellowed, swiping for it, but missing by inches. His momentum finally brought the boat to the point of no return, as it stood almost perfectly on its side.
"Omega!" Sonic screamed as he flailed his arms desperately. To his horror, his chili dog slipped from his grasp, sloshing into the water behind him with a terrible plop. Omega grabbed onto the end of the telescope, holding Sonic suspended above the water. "P-pull me up!"
"Negatory, comrade," Omega seemed to almost whisper, as he tore the gleaming telescope from Sonic's grasp, upsetting his balance and sending him tumbling backwards into the water. At the same moment, the shift in weight threw the boat over, leaving it facing upside down on the water's surface.
Omega's jets flared to life, suspending him above the water's surface, as he gazed through the glass in satisfaction. "Target: Shadow, and Target: Rouge seem to be in close proximity. Operation Matchmaker is surpassing unit projections."
Sonic came to the surface and sputtered, grasping onto the overturned boat for dear life. "Omega, I can hardly swim! And I hate water!"
"Perhaps next time you'll reconsider when this unit poses a reasonable request," he seemed to reply almost smugly.
"Rouge, did you just hear something?" Shadow said absently as the pair walked along the beach.
"It sounded kind of like screaming and then a big splash..." she mused for a moment. "Probably nothing. Let's keep going."
Shadow glanced back, but a sharp tug on his arm sent a rose colored tinge over his cheeks and effectively distracted him from the slashing noise.
Rouge pulled him to her side, wrapping her hand deftly around him. The sun was declining further and further towards the horizon, and the two of them sat contentedly on the beach to watch it sink into the distance.
Lapping waves of darkness spread out in an infinite expanse before them, and the sea rustled quietly like a child tucked gently in to sleep. Flaming crimson the sun dipped down, kissing the ocean and painting it with fire. Around it, violet streaked clouds dissipated gently, scattering into purple cotton balls.
Shadow put his hand unsurely on Rouge's shoulder, seeing the same majestic golden glow dancing in her eyes as the splendor of the sea. Her luminous aquamarine gaze turned to him, and he felt as if his heart would explode in his chest.
"Rouge..." he choked, his voice unsure at what he truly wanted to say. "I know that... in the past, I've been cold and distant."
"Shadow, you've always been there for me-" she began, a sad smile gathering on her lips.
"No, no I haven't. I've been selfish, pursuing my own ends and pushing you away. I even considered leaving you for good - just wandering alone. But that day when you told you that you'd always be by my side... I realized that I don't have to be alone," Shadow looked away slightly to try to hide a tear that had formed in his eye. "When Maria died, I thought I would spend the rest of my life seeking vengeance. Even when I gave up the path of revenge, I wandered aimlessly, trying to find my place in this world."
"It's not your fault, Shadow. You were hurt so deeply - anyone else would've done the same thing. The difference is, you were strong enough to pull through to the other side of the pain," Rouge offered comfortingly, reaching out with a slender finger to wipe the tear from his cheek.
"I know. I don't blame myself for the past, I've moved past that now. But what I've learned is where my place in the world is. I belong with you," he finished simply, his burning crimson eyes rivaling the intensity of the sun itself.
"Oh, Shadow!" she squealed in happiness, throwing her arms around him. "I want you to be with me, I want you to be happy."
Shadow placed his hand lovingly on her cheek, looking into her eyes with the depth of all his passion. "For the first time in a long time, I am."
A small, shy smile found its way onto Shadow's lips, as he stood. Rouge followed suit, and the two of them began the walk back, hand in hand.
Arriving at Rouge's apartment much later in evening, Shadow opened the door for Rouge and stood on the mat outside, just as he'd been instructed to by all of the dating advice he'd found on this strange thing called 'the internet.'
"Shadow, thanks for finally asking me out. I had a great time," Rouge chirped joyfully, before turning and heading into the apartment. Shadow shut the door behind her, and began to turn away, when he heard the door open again behind him.
"Uh... Shadow? You planning on sleeping on the curb tonight?" Rouge asked with a sly smile. Shadow froze, one foot still in the air.
"Yeah... I was just... going to get some air!" he laughed nervously, "Just give me a minute."
Rouge nodded, closing the door behind her. Shadow waiting until a few moment after she had shut it, before he released a long breath of air, and did a triumphant fist pump.
"I see it went well, Shads," an all-too-familiar voice rang out from nearby, causing Shadow to growl slightly.
"What do you want, moron?" he responded in irritation, mostly due to the fact Sonic had caught him fist-pumping.
"Oh, I just want to congratulate you on a job well done. I didn't think you had it in you."
"You doubt my power?" Shadow responded coyly, crossing his arms.
"I'm sure Rougey knows all about your power... in bed," he giggled, his finger pointing at the ultimate lifeform.
"Say another word and I'll snap off you finger."
"A little defensive, are we? So the big stud doesn't want to discuss his love life, I get it. I guess I kind of figured I've got a right to talk to you about that stuff now. Remind me... who was it who set you up with the know-how you needed?"
Shadow muttered something inaudible.
"I couldn't quite make that out, Shadow. Maybe a little louder?"
"Alright, you win! It was you. You helped me know what to do to have the perfect date. Happy?"
"Shadow, I'm always happy with a job well done," he smirked.
"Shadow, you coming? I'm still waiting for you," Rouge's voice came muffled from inside.
"One second..." Shadow replied, wincing as an impossibly large grin spread across Sonic's face.
"Get out of here before I do something you'll regret, Sonic."
With that, the ultimate lifeform slammed the door in Sonic's face. The blue speedster shook off some of the residual wetness clinging to his body, as Omega stomped up next to him.
"Comrade Sonic, status update."
"Well Omega, I think our work is pretty much done here," he trailed off almost sadly. "But... Shadow's sure to need our help again in the future. We'll continue to keep him under observation."
"Roger."
"...Did you really need the telescope that bad? I mean c'mon, you got me all wet!"
"This unit is of the opinion that comrade Sonic got what was coming to him," Omega replied stubbornly, still clutching the telescope.
"You ruined my chili dog!" he cried woefully.
"...This unit will replace said 'chili dog' with a unit of equal or greater value."
"Blasphemy! You can't replace a chili dog! Chili dogs are unique individuals, works of art, like snowflakes or fingerprints. Each one is different, with subtle nuances setting it apart from its chili dog brethren!"
"...This unit is cataloging comrade Sonic for irrational behavior and delusions."
"Ah, forget it."