Twenty-four hours had come and gone, and the sky was once again a startling shade of black as Nikolas sat alone in Nadine's room at General Hospital. Friends and family had filed in and out off and on all day, waiting for word that she had finally woken up. However, each one was met with the disappointing news that she was still unconscious and went away with a promise that they would receive a call should her condition change. Lucky and Lulu had been there most of the day, taking turns trying to entertain their brother who didn't seem to want to talk to anyone. The only time he even left Nadine's side was when Leyla came to visit or when one of the doctors made him. After a lot of convincing from Elizabeth, he'd finally gone back to Wyndamere for a few hours that afternoon to change his clothes and have lunch with Spencer. Afterwards, he'd brought his son back to town to stay with Lesley and returned to the hospital to resume his quiet vigil over the woman that he loved.
All of the lights were off in the room as he sat awkwardly in the chair, carefully studying her face. Even the slightest spasm on her placid features was enough to stir up a hopeful burst of energy in his heart. It was hard to sit here hour after hour waiting for her to wake up. There were still a million questions they needed answers about her condition. Patrick grew more and more restless with every passing hour. Nikolas had been around the hospital enough to know that things only became bleaker with time. Robin had tried to convince him that Nadine's body was just trying to give itself enough time to rest, but they both knew that it was a vain attempt at comfort. If she didn't wake up soon, there was a good chance that she might not wake up again. They had given him the same news the night of the hospital, and he knew that they were trying to avoid giving it to him again.
Nikolas looked up into the hallway and saw an exhausted Leyla dressed in soft pink scrubs. Her face was pensive and he knew that she was trying to decide whether or not to interrupt his visit so that she could spend the last few minutes of her break with her best friend. He brought Nadine's hand up to his lips and brushed a hopeful kiss over her fingertips. "I'll be back soon," he promised before slipping out into the hallway. Leyla smiled at him bravely before peering over his shoulder into the room. "Why don't you sit with her for awhile? I think I could use some fresh air. I'm just going to go up on the roof for awhile. Take your time."
"Thank you," she replied kindly before letting herself into Nadine's room. Nikolas watched her for a minute as she took the chair he had occupied moments before. He had admittedly not known Leyla all that well before all of this had happened, and now that it had, he felt like he should take the time to get to know her better. She was someone that meant a lot to Nadine and would likely be in his life for a very long time. When Nadine was home and feeling stronger, he would have Leyla, Kelly, Lainey, Robin and Elizabeth out to the house for a meal with the girls. They were the people that cared about her, and their approval suddenly meant a lot to him.
The brisk air of late autumn hit his face instantly as he stepped out onto the roof. This place was the site of many rendezvous for him in the past, but none of those memories were there to keep him warm tonight. For the first time in a very long time, it didn't remind him of getting caught in the rain with Courtney or making Emily late for work when her breaks ran a little bit over. His mind wasn't on what he had lost but on all that he had gained. There was a woman downstairs wearing a ring that meant pretty much everything to him in the world. It was something he had never given to Katherine or Gia or Lydia or Emily or Courtney. No, that ring was something he had been saving just for Nadine. It was as if his heart had always known that someone was going to come along who would change everything. In a way that no one ever had or could, Nadine had done that.
Nikolas could still be brooding when things didn't go his way. He was incredibly stuck in his ways, wrought in family tradition and bureaucratic protocol. He could be incredibly snobbish when it came to some things, and he never let his emotions show when manners were at play. However, when he was with Nadine, he somehow managed to let all of that go. Turning his face to the stars, he whispered a prayer that with or without her, he'd remember what she had said to him in Texas. He would remember their first dance on the terrace. He would remember the first time they had made love and what it felt like when she'd held him while he cried that first night at her apartment. He wanted to remember seeing her hold his son and chasing her through the woods on his horse. He wanted to remember all of it because the past few months had been among the happiest of his life.
"Hey, I thought that I might find you up here," a familiar voice called. Nikolas turned around and found his aunt coming across the roof toward him. The district attorney looking tired and worn out from a day's work of protecting their fair city from a certain element, but she managed to put on a face of loving support for the sake of her nephew. "Sam still has the girls, so I thought I would come by to check on you."
He took one of the cups of coffee she held out gratefully and took a long drink to warm up his shivering body. Nikolas hadn't grabbed his coat, and he had suddenly realized he was a lot colder than he thought he was. "Thanks, you didn't have to come by. I know that you have a lot on your plate with everything that is going on right now."
Alexis studied Nikolas for a moment before taking the cup of coffee from him. She sat it on the edge of the building and pulled him into a hug. She could see the walls that he had built up around his heart for the sake of self-preservation. However, as perhaps the only other living person who could understand what it meant to grow up Cassadine, she refused to let him think that he needed to do this on his own. "I am right here, Nikolas," she murmured softly as she hugged him tightly. "I know that you think you have to be strong, but you don't have to pretend with me. It's okay to let me in."
"I broke down on Lucky and Lulu earlier. The last thing I want to do is let anyone else see me like this," he whispered, trying his best to keep the tears back. He was physically, mentally and emotionally worn out from the events of the last day and so much of what had happened in the last year. Nadine was usually the place he went to when everything became too much, but he couldn't do that right now. Maybe it was time that he finally let Alexis be the mother to him that he had long considered her to be. "I just want her to wake up. I keep waiting for her to open her eyes. It's been over 24 hours. I know that's not a good sign. She has to come back to me."
"It was almost two years ago when the doctors told me that I didn't have long to live. They didn't think that I could beat cancer, and you know what, I almost believed them. I mean, my life was a wreck. My daughter had slept with my husband. Another of my daughters was traumatized when she saw her own sister kill a man right in front of her. I could barely function, let alone be the parent that I needed to be. I was ready to give up," Alexis reminded him. "Then Jax showed up to my house one day when I was feeling at my absolute worst. I had tried so hard to be strong for so long, and the last thing I wanted to do was let anyone see me breakdown. But you know what? That was exactly what I needed. I needed to cry every last tear and have someone tell me that it was okay to feel these things. Being my best friend, Jax did that."
Nikolas looked at her sharply, wondering if she wanted him to sob uncontrollably and admit all the fears that lurked in the depths of his mind. If that was her reason for coming here, she had wasted her time. However, by the way his aunt was looking at him, he could see that her intentions were very different. "Look, I'm not telling you this because I think that you need to find that in me," she explained. "In fact, the only person I think that you need to tell these things to is the one person who may not be able to hear you. What I really wanted you to see was that Nadine was that person for you once. No one could get through to you after Emily died, but she somehow managed to make you hear her. You let yourself be vulnerable to her, and in the process, you found someone who is going to love you for the rest of your life."
"Everyone keeps telling me how much Nadine loves me. I know that she loves me. I've seen the way that she looks at me. I've felt the way she kisses me. I've heard the breathless way she whispers my name when I surprise her. That's not why I am scared. I mean, sure, I don't want to lose her but that's not what scares me the most," he confessed. For the first time, he was finally going to explain why he had been so quiet. It wasn't just the proposal that had gone unsaid, there were many things Nadine needed to hear. "I'm scared that I am never going to have the chance to let her know how much I love her. I need to know that she sees how I look at her, that she feels something when I kiss her, that she hears the astonishment in my voice every time I realize how damn lucky I am to have this woman be in love with me."
"Oh, Nikolas, she knows. Trust me, she knows," Alexis assured him as she gathered him back in her arms. His entire body was wracked with sobs. "Even if Nadine never wakes up, she knows that."
"I am going to ask her to marry me when she wakes up. I put the ring on her finger last night. I want it to be the first thing she sees when she opens her eyes," he told Alexis. She was the first person he told that he had actually taken the next step. The others only knew that it was a likely possibility. "I'm also going to ask her to adopt Spencer. I don't think that I can afford to wait. I'd appreciate it if you could get started on the paperwork as soon as possible so that things can be underway when she comes home."
Alexis nodded thoughtfully as she pulled away from Nikolas. She had known that after their conversation the night of the dinner that it was only a matter of time before he made all of this formal and permanent. "I've already drawn up some preliminary papers. I will file them in the morning. It will take some time, but I will do my best to expedite the process," she promised. "Is there anything else that you want me to work on?"
"Actually, yes," he decided. He had been thinking about some things for awhile, and there were a lot of precautions he needed to take when it came to Spencer's future. "We, more than anyone, know how fragile life can be. I want Nadine to have Spencer if anything is to ever happen to me. Elizabeth and Lucky should be co-guardians if something was to happen to make that impossible."
His aunt was rambling in about the legalities of the adoption process when Leyla burst on to the roof. "Patrick needs to see you, Nikolas!" she called from the doorway, her words strained as she tried to catch her breath. "He is downstairs with Robin waiting for you outside of Nadine's room. They have test results to go over."
Nikolas sprinted past his aunt and Leyla as he headed for the staircase. He took the steps two at a time and jogged through the quiet corridor toward the ICU. He didn't even pay any attention as an aggravated Epiphany yelled at him to slow down. He just wanted to hear whatever it was that Patrick and Robin had to say. They were waiting for him together when he finally made it to her room. Neither of their faces gave any indication whether the news was good or back, which was unsettling to say the least. He had been hoping to gauge their faces to see what he should prepare himself for. "Leyla said that you needed to see me."
"Why don't you come into my office?" Patrick asked formally as he nodded toward the end of the hallway where his private suite was. Nikolas looked at Nadine still asleep in her room but agreed to come with the doctors. When they were all settled on the uncomfortable hospital-issued furniture, Patrick got down to business. "We have been monitoring Nadine's brain activity for the past 24 hours. The results are very good. While we cannot say for total certainty until she is awake, I don't think that we are looking at any significant damage."
Relief washed over his body. Patrick continued to talk, giving him numbers and statistics from the various tests she had undergone in the past several hours. Her body was stronger than it had been when she was admitted. Her heart was beating at a more regular pace, and her respiration rate was exactly where it needed to be. "There are still a lot of unknowns here, but things are much better than anyone could have expected them to be," Robin told him. "I have every reason to be optimistic that Nadine will make a full recovery. Things could still go wrong, but until we know, I am going to believe that will not happen."
His dear friend had never been one for optimism but falling in love and having a child had changed her in the best possible way. "Thank you, Robin," he smiled. "Actually, thanks to both of you. You have done a wonderful job taking care of Nadine. I really appreciate how far you and the staff have gone to accommodate everyone and the treatment that she has received."
"We are just doing our jobs," Patrick reminded him. "Besides, if it was one of us in there, Nadine would be the first one to give us the best treatment possible. She is an important part of this hospital, not just as a nurse but also as a friend."
"A very good friend," Robin emphasized. "I can hardly believe that it wasn't all that long ago that I was going shopping with her to pick out the perfect dress for a date with you. Now look at you guys! We're very happy for you both."
Nikolas was about to excuse himself so that he could return to Nadine's room when Patrick received a page from one of the patients' rooms. Patrick glanced over at the lit switchboard with a confused look on his face. "I wonder who is in there with Nadine."
"Alexis and Leyla are both here, it's probably one of them," Nikolas shrugged as the three of them filed out of the room. Patrick was pretty quick, but Nikolas was quicker. He was worried that they had paged the doctor because it may mean something was wrong. However, when they came upon the room, the lights were still out and no one was waiting in the hallway. Nikolas went into the room and was shocked to find Nadine sitting up in the bed. "Nadine? Baby?" Her wide blue eyes met his across the room as he rushed to her side. She tried to open her mouth to say something but the tube in her throat prevented it.
Patrick started to go into the room to examine her when Robin grabbed his wrist. "Give them a minute," she ordered. She shook her head adamantly when he started to protest. "Let them be."
Nikolas pressed a kiss to her forehead and brushed her hair back from her face. Tears were falling freely down his face as he looked her over, still in disbelief that she was awake. "I knew that you would come back to me," he whispered. She smiled at him and reached out her right hand for him to hold. He squeezed her fingers and enjoyed the fact that she could return the gesture. "I love you." She shook her head to indicate that she knew and that she loved him too. "Do you remember what happened?"
She shook her head and shrugged. They had told him that there was a possibility that she would have no recollection of the accident. At least she wasn't afraid. She seemed dazed but fairly aware of her surroundings. "Okay, I hate to break this up, but we really need to start some tests so that we can check Nadine out," Patrick announced despite another round of pleas from Robin. "Nikolas, I'm going to have to ask you to step out for a minute."
Nadine started to wave her hands around frantically. She hit her palm in frustration against the tray that lay over her bed. She kept trying to say something but her voice still wasn't there. Finally, Robin caught onto what she was trying to do and produced a pen and paper so that she could write it out. Nadine looked over at Nikolas as she jotted a something down on the notepad. Then, she held up her left hand and looked at him with a bemused smile on her face. The only word written on the page was "yes."