Chapter Two
When I began to awake from the dark embrace of unconsciousness, the first thing I noticed was that I was no longer lying in the dirt outside of my burning home, but that I was lying in a bed of soft grass deep in the dark and quiet forest. All the animals seemed hushed, as if holding their breath expectantly. I slowly raised my head and allowed my eyesight to adjust to the dark forest. As I waited for my faint head rush to end I began to sit up and felt a thin but strong hand push me slowly back down. I heard a faint whisper telling me "Don't try to sit up just yet. Rest for a while longer."
The whispering voice held a catch in it that was unfamiliar, one of sympathy. One that held grief, despair, worry, remorse, and even a gentle sense of care in it. The soothing quality of the voice lulled me into a deep but peaceful slumber that helped to restore my energy and clear my mind.
When I once again awoke, I noted that I was still lying in the soft grass in the deep shadows of the woods. The animals were quieter around here, more subdued. I slowly opened my eyes to the dimmed sunlight. I mentally sighed in relief as I realized I was surrounded by a soft hint of darkness. The sun always seemed to be too bright for me.
I looked around the clearing and saw a small campfire smoldering in the center of the clearing with some meat cooking slowly over it. A few other utensils and bits of meat lay scattered around the campfires edge. There was a pair of sturdy-looking warhorses tethered at the other end of the clearing, their tack lying at the base of a large rowan tree in an organized pile. Not too far away from me on my right, there was a small backpack lying there that was half-open. It wasn't close enough for me to reach it, but I glanced in and could see my small bag of coins and my spare change of clothes.
I heard someone, or something, else in the clearing breathing. It wasn't the horses, that was for sure. Whatever it was, it was very close to me. I glanced to my left and saw Durza sitting cross-legged on the soft grass next to me. His eyes were gently closed shut and he appeared peaceful in a strange way. My mind recoiled slightly from the picture.
Shades are never peaceful or calm, I thought to myself in confusion and shock, They're always cold and calculating, always showing malice or distaste or a lust for blood and pain and death! But to see one sitting there so peaceful, in a way very similar to the elves...that's impossible.
My mind slowly wrapped around the idea of a peaceful Shade, recalling the events I had when I encountered him. He had seemed remorseful, all those years ago. And he must have been the one to take me away from the searing pain when I lay in front of my burning house. When I awoke the first time, it was his gentle whisper that had lulled me back into a peaceful sleep. It was his soft touch that had pushed me slowly back down.
I stared up at the Shade, at Durza, with only mild confusion and clear curiosity. After a few very long minutes of my gaze penetrating into him, the Shade let out a long sigh of relief and opened his eyes, his maroon gaze meeting mine instantly. For a while we neither moved, but simply stared at one another. Our gazes were connected as emotions passed between us, his relief and surprise versus my curiosity and wonder.
After a long moment the Shade glanced away in what almost seemed to be shame and apprehension as he quietly asked me "Are you not disgusted or afraid of me?" His voice was hovering on the edge of a whisper, his tone cautious and worried, yet I sensed a bit of hope in it too.
"Not in the slightest bit." I replied quietly. He glanced back over at me, hope lighting up his features. Without another word, he stood and went over to the fire, turning the meat on the spicket and poking at the embers to bring on more heat. When he finished with that, he went to check on the horses, looking them over for anything unusual.
As he went about something similar to a routine, I watched him without fear or worry. Only a faint amusement and a burning curiosity, filled with an unusual wonder. Never in the history of Alagaesia had a shade acted like this before. Never.
As I watched, the Shade suddenly stopped and stiffened, and he bent over as if fighting an unbearable pain. It seemed almost as if his entire body was fighting against him; an inner battle was taking a physical effect on him. I quickly got up from the grassy bed and ignored the head rush that threatened to make me black out again. I stumbled over to Durza and grabbed his wrist softly, not knowing what I was doing nor why. I just knew that he needed my help. Suddenly, I could feel the strength and energy being pulled out of me and into Durza's form, coming to his aid.
I noticed him begin to straighten as he began to take control over his inner battle. I could suddenly feel the battle inside of him, and how the dark spirits were trying to force him to re-submit to complete control of theirs. To turn his mind back into that of a complete shade. When I realized this I thought in a voice that, if it were spoken aloud, would be considered yelling, Not a chance! I sent more of my spirit and energy into Durza's slim form, giving him strength to quell the beastly spirits.
As Durza began to take control of the fight, I noticed that my strength was steadily ebbing away. Durza, in the middle of his inner battle, seemed to notice this too. His eyes reopened and he looked as though he were in excruciating pain. He and I both sank to the ground as he continued to fight and I continued to help him. I started to chant to myself in my mind, my inner voice growing steadily louder and louder.
I will not die from these spirits, I will not die from these spirits, I will not die from these spirits, I Will Not Die From These Spirits, I Will Not Die From These Spirits, I Will NOT DIE From These Spirits, I WILL NOT DIE FROM THESE SPIRITS!
When my mind screamed that thought, I began to feel a huge power swelling within me. The Shade must have felt it too, for he glanced at me sharply, surprise covering his face. I could feel a white light radiating out from my core, causing my eyes to glow bright silver and an aura to surround me. The aura stretched out to cover the Shade as well, and the light seemed to fill his entire being. A fierce and very painful scream tore out of his lips as the light probed deeper within him, seeming to converge on his blackened soul.
I realized that was where the spirits were lying in wait, battling the shade's inner consciousness for control over the body. The Shade's original owner was trying to escape, but why? Rather than try to figure it out, I applied my strengths to the light, focusing on using its energy to burn out one of the dark spirits residing within Durza. I used the white tendrils of light to grab hold of a particularly dark spirit and cocoon it in the light.
I then used the light like a snake and constricted the darkness until the light completely destroyed all traces of it. Once that was done, the power of the light receded, its mission accomplished. One of the many dark spirits that had recently inhabited Durza was now vanquished. Victory had been temporarily achieved.
When the white light had completely receded, I felt my energy completely disappear and fell back into the grass, my mind passing out as my last tendrils of thought clung to whispering the one thought. Durza, Durza...Durza...Duurrzzzaaaa....
My mind was full of images, never getting the chance to truly rest in peace. As I watched, bits of light erupted in my mind, each with a memory that wasn't my own. They each flooded my mind, one after another as they fit together like the pieces of a puzzle. As the puzzle was being completed, I began to see it taking on the shape of a story. I could see Durza, still a young boy living as a nomad with his parents on the empty plains when he and his family were cast out of their tribe. They called his father "oath breaker"; only it was not Durza then, but Carsaib...
I watched in helpless pain as his parents were murdered but he was left alive, crying over their grave and cursing their murderers for keeping him alive to suffer. How he fled away into the desert, begging for death. Being found on a lonely sand dune by who was to become his mentor, and his friend. The man who trained him and guided him to power. I watched as bandits came and killed his mentor Haeg in the night, and how he called upon the spirits for revenge. Spirits that were far stronger than him, and took possession of his mind and soul.
And now, I have freed him from the chains of one of those spirits. I felt immense relief. Then I mentally tensed. How different will he be when I once again awaken?
I pondered the different possibilities as I slumbered on, since my mind seemed free to wander. Will he be kind, gentle, and sweet? Will he be grieving, remorseful, and upset? Will he be merciless, cold, and dangerous? Will he show me pity or shame? Will he be joyous or angry? Shall he be coldly indifferent and pretend nothing happened, or will he be in wondering awe of the change within himself? So many questions, and the more I thought about it the harder they were to answer. I knew the answer could only come with time.
As that thought was passing through my head, I felt consciousness begin to reappear as I was brought back into the waking world. I'm not sure how long the transition between the two worlds took, but when it was over I felt as though an entire lifetime had passed. I began to feel again, and man did it hurt!
I opened my eyes to see the dark tree tops above me. I could easily see in the darkness surrounding me thanks to the glowing fire in the center of the campsite. I tried to sit up and two hands caught my shoulders to help me slowly rise to a sitting position. A major head-rush went through my system and I almost fell back over, but managed to stay sitting thanks to the two sturdy hands keeping me up. When the head-rush had passed, I glanced behind me and saw Durza sitting there on his knees, his face covered with worry. When he saw I was somewhat alright, he gently released his hold on me and stood, walking around to my front and sitting with his legs crossed again.
He put one cold clammy hand to my forehead and frowned slightly, but he didn't say a word. He slowly trailed the hand down to my cheek and held it there for a moment, staring deep into my eyes as if he were looking for something important. After a long moment he blinked and quickly dropped his hand back into his lap, glancing over at the fire as a means of distraction. I watched him for a moment in complete puzzlement before an idea hit me.
He hasn't lived without that dark spirit for so long that he doesn't know how to act or behave anymore. I realized with a small shock. Then a small smile covered my lips as I thought of how good this must be for him. It's a chance for him to start over; a new life with a new beginning, and a whole new set of rules. My smile grew quickly.
Durza turned to look back at me and saw my smile. A look of confusion grew slowly on his face and I quietly giggled. He raised an eyebrow at me and when my giggles grew louder he smiled. A Shade smiled, and it wasn't menacing at all. That's unheard of. I bit my lip as I smiled and turned to look away, unsure of what to say. I glanced back at him and my expression grew solemnly serious again as I asked "How are you feeling?"
The Shade pondered this question for a moment before he replied in a whisper "Very different."
I nodded slowly, gauging his expression. He gave nothing away, so I asked him quietly "How does it feel to be without that spirit?"
The Shade exhaled loudly and said in a voice just above a whisper "It feels very good, as if I have more control." I began to smile, but his serious expression slowed me down. "However, I know that my current control will not last for much longer, so I need to get you out of here quickly. If I give you a horse and some supplies, do you have somewhere you could flee to?" He asked me, his gaze nearly begging.
I thought back for a moment to what my father had told me about our neighboring town of Carvahall and its inhabitants. I knew one of them would take me in and keep me a secret from anyone outside of their village. I nodded silently to the Shade.
He sighed in relief and then said quietly "You don't have to leave yet, but you must disappear from my sight by the end of the week. I can hold the spirits back for no longer than a few days. In the meantime, you need to recover." He said this all with a faint hope in his eyes, but the moment he said 'recover' a fierce anger covered his gaze. I began to puzzle this as Durza looked away, hatred in his eyes. Hatred for what though, I wondered?
Durza looked back at me and stroked my right cheek softly, his gentle touch lingering on the large hand-shaped bruise there. I sighed to myself, remembering the slap my father had given me that morning. Durza's anger was visible in his eyes, but it disappeared swiftly when he looked away from the bruising and up into my gray-tinted blue eyes.
He moved his hand down my cheek to my neck, resting it there for a moment as something in his gaze seemed to shift, almost unnoticeably. I tried to figure out what the change was when Durza dropped his hand and stood up, still watching me. My eyes followed his movements as he turned away and went to the fire, pulling some meat off of the spicket and placing it in a small wooden bowl, bringing it back to me. I ate the warm food gratefully, feeling as though I hadn't eaten for days.
"How long have I been out of it?" I asked him. He watched me eat in complete silence for a moment longer, gauging my reaction.
"When I rescued you from the fire, you slept for a day and a half. After you vanquished the dark spirit that was once within me, you slept for three and three-quarter days. Your body has been completely worn out." He told me in a soft whisper.
I nodded silently as I absorbed the information, eating the food I was given with a ravenous hunger. When I was finished, I felt satisfied and had a little more energy than before. I sat up a little straighter and watched with attentive eyes as Durza put the bowl back by the fire and checked on the horses.
I sat in silence, thinking about how strange it would be to spend the remainder of the week in Durza's company. I considered that it could be strange and awkward, but the thought quickly faded from my mind. I was curious, and I wanted to learn. In many ways, my mind was very similar to that of a shade. Absorbing information in the quiet hours of the night, or walking with silent steps among people which held no particular meaning to me.
At least we had a few things in common, and maybe more than that.
Durza sat down in front of me again, breaking my train of thought for a moment. I looked up at him and saw him watching me with a careful expression on his face. After a moment he took a deep breath and said "Tell me what happened before I found you outside your home."
I thought about it for a moment, choosing my words somewhat carefully in order to spare his feelings a bit. "The usual morning routine went on, until I got to Haberth's stables. I work there in the afternoons and get a small pay for it. While I was there, a sudden burst of pain hit me. The only other time I'd felt it before was back when I was five, the day I met you." The Shade flinched when I said that, but I ignored him, "I followed the pain to my house, and when I was there I fell to the ground. Then you came and got me." I summed it all up, watching him unsurely for a moment.
Durza sat in silence for a moment before asking in voice that was tinted with rage "Do you call this," he began, gesturing to the hand-shaped bruise on my cheek, "a part of your usual morning routine?" he asked, his voice filled with a growing anger. He was shaking slightly, as if resisting the urge to get up and break something.
I sighed and nodded, watching as he became more furious. His leg muscles tensed and he began to stand up. I grabbed both of his hands in mind and he suddenly came up short, stopping in the peak of his anger to look down at my solemn gray eyes. I gently tugged at his two pale hands and he slowly sat back down, seeming to be much like a small child in need of comfort.
"Don't let that worry you; it will never happen again. Killing my father would not solve anything, and it would never erase what he has done. Don't leave me here alone Durza, please." I whispered the last part, my eyes begging as he gazed at me in silence, his emotions hidden.
After a long moment he sighed quietly and released one of my hands, trailing it from my temple down to my cheek. His gaze probed into mine as he stroked my cheek, filled with a small sense of happiness and peace. He calmed down swiftly, and gazed into my eyes with a strange emotion, one I'd never seen before. As I tried to riddle it out, Durza pushed my hair back out of my face, watching me with that strange emotion.
I tried to place it, but came up empty for a long moment. Finally I discarded the notion of solving the mystery in his dark maroon eyes, which now showed a tinting of gray in their features.
Gray eyes, I thought to myself, kind of like me. Everyone else's eyes are brown, or maybe even green. But his original eye color may be gray, or even a light blue. I thought to myself in a kind of trance, staring into the tendrils of gray that were hidden in his maroon eyes. The Shade and I stared at one another for a long time, thinking silently to ourselves.
After a time, Durza reached out a hand as if to stroke my cheek again, but instead dropped it down at his side as he stood up. My eyes followed him as he stood, curiosity in their features. What was he doing now?
Durza held out both of his hands to me, and I stared up at him in confusion. "You need to start using your muscles again, or else they'll grow weak and frail." He explained in a quiet voice. I nodded and placed my two small pale hands in his slightly paler ones, allowing him to help me stand. Luckily, my legs supported me instead of giving out.
I tried to take a step, but one leg couldn't support me long enough, so I stumbled. Durza caught me to keep me from falling, and his hold was surprisingly tight and strong. For some reason, his thin and lean form made him look much weaker than he truly was.
Durza helped me to stand up straight and then take one step at a time, always catching me before I could fall. After a few decent steps, he released his hold on me, walking close so he could catch me if I stumbled again. I took a few off-balance and strange steps before I faltered again, but Durza still caught me. After that, I was able to walk without stumbling if I walked slowly.
Durza walked beside me, and I glanced over at him in curiosity to find him already staring at me. His gaze was intense in many ways, and I saw hope lighting his every movement. As my strides became swiftly stronger and more confident, the Shade's hope seemed to blossom.
I watched Durza just as he watched me, and then I quickly looked away. I knew now that a faint blush was covering my cheeks, though I wasn't sure why.
When we had circled the campsite a couple of times, Durza followed me to the bed of soft grass and helped me to sit back down. He sat beside me, watching me silently. I lied back and stared up at the branches of the trees, and I felt Durza's shoulder brush against mine and stay there as he lied down beside me, our shoulders touching ever so slightly.
I yawned quietly, staring up at the branches as drowsiness began to overcome me. I felt Durza shift slightly, and I glanced over to see him lying on his side watching me. I gazed into his dark maroon eyes with their newfound traces of gray within them before sleep overcame me.