Here we go! This is my favorite of all the chapters currently uploaded. Tell me what you think!
Naruto doesn't belong to me.
Chapter Three:
Deidara:
I've never been one to drink. Sure, I've had a few sips here and there, but not enough to really effect me. I'm not really a fan of alcohol. To me, it tastes bitter and disgusting.
I don't know why or how, but somehow or another, I ended up drunk that night. Oh, that horrible night. That night when my life took a turn for the worst. This particular evening played a vital role in a series of horrible events, yet I can't even remember what happened.
The only thing that I'm positively sure of is that Itachi and I ended up in bed together. When I think back on it, I wonder. Did I enjoy it? What had it felt like? I hope it was amazing, and totally worth the amount of fear, pain and suffering it caused. All I remember was the morning afterwards, the beginning of my horrendous tale...
-00-00-00-
When I opened my eyes, an extremely frightening sight was seen. There lay Itachi Uchiha. In my room. On my bed. Next to me. Naked. I did what any man of my stature would do in this situation; I jumped up and began yelling.
"Itachi! What the hell are you-" Just about then I realized I was naked as well. And the space between my legs hurt worst than constipation. Quickly, I added two and two together and realized...
- I just had sex. My virginity was gone, and I couldn't even remember how it happened.
- The man - yes, man - who I had made love to (if you could even call it that, since we are definitely not in love) was my bitter enemy whom I had sworn to destroy.
- That same enemy had apparently topped me during our after-dark activities.
- I could, quite possibly, be gay.
This was almost too much to take in at one time. I stuttered, about to fall, then leaned on the bed for support. Something had to be done soon, before everyone else found out. Now that would be bad. As quickly as I could,I gathered up all of my clothing that was scattered across the room and put them on. Last but not least, I abandoned the scene. Hopefully, Itachi would be just as clueless as I was and assume he'd simply mistaken my room for his.
I walked down the halls, trying to go for my usual, upbeat look. The smile I could pull off, despite the headache that was burning my brain. The pace, however, proved to be more difficult due to pain in certain areas. When I reached the kitchen part of the lair, I was greeted by Kisame. He's one of the few Akatsuki members I could nearly call a friend.
"Good morning, Deidara," He gave a half wave then went back to sipping his coffee; obviously he wasn't as affected by the massive amount of alcohol he had consumed last night as one would think. The guy had nearly downed an entire barrel of beer himself, and that was just what I could remember. "Did you sleep well?"
"Who knows? I can't even remember going to bed, hmm," I laughed before heading off to make myself some breakfast. Before I could even open the fridge, the most annoying of all the Akatsuki made his presence known.
"GOOD MORNING, AKATSUKI!" the orange-masked Tobi cheered as he appeared in the doorway. Honestly, I have no idea how this fool became an S-Rank criminal. Of all the people Leader could have picked to be my partner, I had to get stuck with Tobi. "Today's going to be a great day!"
"It was until you ruined it," Kisame murmured.
Tobi completely ignored the taller man and bounded over to me. "Guess what Sempai?" he said, tripping over his own foot, nearly falling, and balancing himself in the process. Before I could respond or even comprehend why my head suddenly felt like bursting, he answered for me. "Itachi LOVES you!"
I felt myself pale. Could Tobi have possibly found out? This was bad. Really, really bad. If Tobi knew, he could and would tell the entire organization. Then, things around here would get even worse. I'd be mocked by all humanity and shunned to an exile island deep in-
"I don't think 'love' is the correct word, Tobi," a deep, calm voice interrupted my thoughts and probably saved me from a lifetime of humiliation. I turned around to see none other than Itachi himself entering the room. "Maybe 'cares for as a comrade' would be the more accurate term."
For the first time ever, I actually felt thankful for the Uchiha. This was turning out to be the strangest morning of my entire life.
"But...but..." Tobi looked confused. Well, as confused as a guy could look while hiding behind a mask. "I thought...Ah...Anyone want a muffin?" He changed the topic as he skipped over to the oven and took out rock-hard blackened muffins. "Oops... I guess I forgot to take them out yesterday..." Tobi sounded disappointed.
"I'll just eat some cereal, hmm." I took out my usual breakfast of Cheerios and milk and sat myself down to eat.
I should have enjoyed the peace while it lasted. I should have disposed of Tobi the moment I saw him. I should have done a lot of things. However, there's one thing I'm positively sure I shouldn't have done. I should never have slept with Itachi.
I was quite tempted to have Itachi come out singing I Just Had Sex by the Lonely Island. Unfortunately, that would be totally unfitting and unnecessary.