Chapter 4

Bobby pulled up outside of Alex's house. It was 2:03AM. One light was on, in the den. He knew she always kept this one on at night now, ever since the Gages had entered her life. His stomach clinched at the thought of her ordeal. He took a deep breath and looked toward her bedroom window.

"If I wake her up, she'll probably shoot me." He chuckled in spite of himself.

He cut the engine and leaned back in his seat. He remembered bringing her home from the hospital after her kidnapping. She had stopped just short of the door, paralyzed, eyes wide with fear. Her breathing quickened. She was frozen in that spot. Bobby had maneuvered around her stopping briefly at her side to squeeze her arm in an attempt at comfort. He unlocked the door and stepped into the house, leaving the door wide open. It was late-afternoon. Even so, Bobby went through the house turning on every light he could find. He went back to the doorway and held out an open hand to his partner. The movement broke Alex's stare. She looked at Bobby, dazed, and then down at his open hand. She hesitated briefly before taking it. He led her safely through the door.

Still holding hands, they moved into the den where Jo Gage had blindsided Alex. Bobby had removed the birdcage where Polly had lived and had made sure the carpets were clean and all the furniture was in its proper place. In the den, Alex started to shake. Bobby squeezed her hand and gently ushered her toward and down the hallway. They moved into her bedroom, and Bobby set the duffle bag he was carrying on a chair in the corner. Alex moved from the doorway to the bed. She lowered herself gingerly onto the edge. She sat straight, perfectly straight, and held on to the bed with clinched fists. Her breaths were still coming quickly. Bobby's heart ached for her, and his mind was riddled with guilt. He sat next to her on the bed and put his arm around her shoulders. She turned into him, rested her head on his chest, and started to cry. He put his other arm around her and held her as close as he could. She grabbed his shirt and balled it into her fist. She took a deep breath and let out a muffled scream of frustration. Bobby placed his forehead on the top of her head. It was all he could do not to break down with her. He kissed the top of her head and let his chin rest comfortably in the same spot. Her tears began to subside and her hand fell to her lap. She pulled away slowly and started to wipe at her face. They never said a word – they didn't have to. She stood without looking at him and disappeared into her bathroom.

"It was my fault - all her pain - everything she went through - it was my fault." He leaned forward, elbows on his knees. He ran his hands through his hair and hid his face between his forearms. What Bobby didn't know, was that, in that moment on the bed, Alex had felt safe, safe enough to scream, safer than she had felt in a very long time, the Gages be damned. Bobby heard her pull the shower curtain back and, without even thinking, he charged toward the bathroom. He found her in her underwear, ripping the curtain from its hooks, one by one, in a blind fury. He stopped just short of her and let her do what she needed to do. With the curtain defeated on the floor, Alex started to sway. Bobby grabbed her just as she bent to wretch. With one arm around her shoulders and one arm around her tiny waist, he guided her to the toilet and helped her to her knees. While Alex lost what little she had eaten for lunch, Bobby knelt with her. He held her hair back from her face. When she was finished, Bobby started to move away in search of a rag. Alex grabbed his arm. "Don't go".

"I'm not going anywhere," Bobby promised. And he meant it, heart and sole.

Without getting up, he stretched to grab a hand towel from the sink. Without losing contact with Alex, he stretched further to wet the towel. Bobby helped Alex lean against the wall and wiped her forehead with the cold, wet rag. She was pale as a ghost, clammy, and she was sweating.

"I'll run you a bath. You just sit"

Alex nodded and Bobby moved to fill the tub. "Do you need anything for pain?"

"Maybe some Ibuprofen"

Alex had her eyes closed and the back of her head was resting against the wall.

"You don't want your prescription?" Bobby encouraged.

She gently shook her head "no". "They make me dizzy. I don't like 'em"

"Ok. Stay there. I'll be right back."

Bobby returned shortly with three Ibuprofen and a small glass of Sprite. He knelt in front of her and passed her the meds. He sent her a small, comforting smile and walked to the tub to stop the water. He checked the temperature and put an extra large bath towel in easy reach of the tub. He went back to help Alex to her feet. Together they made it to the side of the tub. Bobby turned around and waited with his back turned until he heard her say, "OK, I'm in."

"I'll be just outside this door if you need me."

Thirty minutes later, Alex emerged from the bathroom wrapped in the bath towel Bobby had left for her. He stood to face her. He couldn't help but scan her, head to toe. She had never looked fragile to him before. It scared the hell out of him. He realized he was staring and started to fidget.

Alex smiled. "I need to get my clothes," she said shyly and pointed past him to the dresser drawers.

"Oh. Right… I'll a… I'll just wait," He pointed toward the den. "I'll just wait for you... in the den." He backed toward the bedroom door.

Alex nodded and watched him leave.

Bobby was on the couch reading one of her magazines when she stepped into the den. He hadn't heard her coming. She watched him for a minute before her eyes trailed over to the place where Jo Gage had struck her. She sucked in a breath and Bobby jumped, realizing she had entered the room. He stood facing her, holding the magazine down by his side. He stared at her for a moment thinking how beautiful she looked in a simple cotton pajama set. It was light blue, a loose fitting peasant style shirt and long, loose pants. Alex interrupted his thoughts. "What are you reading there?" she teased.

"What… Oh… nothing... I, ah, found..." He dropped the Vogue back onto the coffee table.

Alex chuckled and moved past him to set on the couch. She flipped on the TV and looked up at Bobby. He sat back down on the couch next to her. Alex leaned onto his side. Bobby put his arm around her and shifted so that she would be more comfortable. "Do you need anything?"

"No, I'm good now"

She snuggled into his embrace and, before too long, drifted off to sleep. Bobby carried her to her bed all the while thinking, "If she knew I was carrying her, she'd kick my ass". He tucked her in and shut off the overhead light, leaving the light on her night stand burning. After a quick shower in the guest bathroom, he made himself comfortable on the couch. He would spend many nights at her house over the next couple of months. He usually fell asleep on the couch, but ended up holding Alex in her bed after one of her nightmares. He slept easily next to her. Although he wished for nothing more than an end to her nightmares, he selfishly looked forward to waking up next to her in the early hours of the morning. Bobby always awoke before Alex, always content to simply watch her sleep.

Bobby looked back up at Alex's house. He missed spending time with her there. He missed spending "down time" with her anywhere. Most of all, he missed Alex. Bobby took a deep breath and hesitated before starting up the SUV. With one last look at the house, he put the SUV in drive and pulled away slowly. He was thinking about how he would make this right. "Tomorrow," he said out loud, and a small smile escaped to grace his weary face.