Disclaimer: Would I be writing this if I owned Saiyuki? No. Also if I did, I wouldn't be known as GirlWithNoLife, now would I? I do own Tsuki though!
Summary: Sanzo's secret has finally been revealed! Now that the boys all know Sanzo's a girl, emotions are going haywire! And with Sanzo's death closely approaching, what is she to do? And who are these strange gods that keep appearing? And who of the boys will win Sanzo's heart?
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Gojyo's eyes narrowed as he watched the crowd below gather around Hazel.
"Man. That's one way to get super hero status over night." he said mildly.
"If I didn't know any better, I'd say you were jealous." Sanzo commented as she stood next to Hakkai's bed. Gojyo laughed as he leaned against the window.
"Me? Nah, I'm still got my looks after all."
"So in other words, you have nothing."
"You...!"
"You okay, Hakkai?" Goku asked Hakkai, who was laying in bed with a fever.
"Hm? Oh. ...I'm sorry." Hakkai said weakly as he held the rag to his head. Sanzo 'Ch'ed, appearing to be annoyed.
"You used your chi all night while soaking wet. It's no surprise you passed out." she said, putting her hands on her hips and giving him a gentle glare. "Honestly, Goku and Gojyo's stupidity must be rubbing off on you."
"You must be a masochist." Gojyo added, deciding to ignore Sanzo for that moment. Hakkai laughed.
"Ah, ha, ha... But, you see... Those people had been entrusted to me." he replied.
"So it's an ego thing. Big surprise." Gojyo said. Sanzo sighed, annoyed.
"Honestly, you men and your ego!" she sighed. "I wonder if that's what makes men so stupid."
"Hey! Like yer one ta talk! Yer ego's way bigger than all of ours put tagether!" Goku pouted as he glared up at her. She glared back, with a fiercer glare.
"That's not ego, that's pride, you insufferable primate." she retorted.
"Like there's a difference!" Goku yelled as he playfully began to fight with her.
"Oi! Keep your distance, monkey!"
"Oh, yeah? What if I don't want to– Whoa!" Goku cried in surprise as he suddenly slipped forward. Unfortunately for poor, poor Goku, he fell on to Sanzo, accidently pulling her robes down and also ripping her shirt in the process. Now, not only was her breasts revealed, but Goku was right on top of her, holding one of her breasts.
"Shit!" Gojyo said with a grin despite himself.
"Oh... my..." Hakkai said, fully aware of what was going to happen in a few minutes.
Goku just froze, not knowing what to do.
On one hand, this felt nice and he liked it...
On the other hand, in ten seconds Sanzo was going to beat him, shoot him, and finally exorcize him with her scripture.
Sanzo's face flushed with embarrassment and rage.
"Goku!!" she hissed, sounding like snake about to attack. Goku didn't even get the chance to move his hand before the door opened and there stood... Hazel?!
Hazel blinked as he looked at Goku and Sanzo.
"Oh, my... Did I come at a bad time?" he asked as he stared at them. Sanzo and Goku both turned red with embarrassment, and Sanzo hit Goku so hard, he went flying through the window.
"BAKA SAAARUUU!!"
"YAAARGH!!" Goku cried as he went twirling through the sky.
"Well... Anyhow... That was some fine work last night, gentlemen," Hazel said once Sanzo had found a new shirt and Goku had returned to the room, hiding behind Hakkai. "But it seems I've caused you to over strain yourself. I do apologize, sir. That was rather perverse of me." Goku blinked.
"'Perverse'?" he asked as he looked at Gojyo.
"What're you lookin' at?" Gojyo growled. "You were the one was just foddling the priest's chest." Hakkai ignored them.
"Oh, no. I'm fine." he assured Hazel. "I generally recover quickly." Then Sanzo noticed Hazel had been staring at her for awhile.
"...What?" she asked. She swore, if he was imagining her naked...
"Your clothes, mam. Might you be a holy woman? Those are Priestesses' robes ya got there." he said with a sparkly background, which creeped Sanzo out. "What a fine exotic flare!" Sanzo twitched. Okay, it was official. She hated this man!
"...I'm the one with the questions here, kiss-ass." she hissed.
"Yeah, right?" Gojyo agreed. "Who the hell are you?"
"From your accent, I assume you're from another continent." Hakkai added.
"Hey, that glowy not-dead stuff was cool! How'd ya do it?!" Goku put his two cents in. Hazel laughed.
"One at a time, if you please." he said.
"Fine. What are you after?" Sanzo asked straight out. She did not trust this man one bit. Hazel met her gaze.
"...That's an easy one," he said. "My companion and I are from the other side of the ocean– from a continent in the far west. We'd like to save the people in this here Shangri-La from the rampaging Youkai. It's as simple as that." The Sanzo party stared at him.
"Hoo. Good for you." Gojyo said.
"Maybe we should learn from them." Hakkai said, looking at Gojyo.
"Can it." Sanzo snapped.
"You're from far away?" Goku asked. "Then can everyone bring dead people back to life where ya live?!"
"Oh, my. Of course not. I'm one of a kind." Hazel told him. "Besides, it's not quite bringin' 'em back to life. It's only a transfer."
"Transfer?" Goku asked as he tilted his head.
"I temporally collect the souls of dead Youkai... and use 'em to revive people." Hazel explained further.
"Really? Cool!" Goku said with wide, child like eyes.
"So you're saying you can revive anything?" Gojyo asked.
"Really? How about this drumstick?!" Goku asked as he held up a chicken leg.
"Let it stay dead, Goku." Gojyo said with a sweat drop.
"What about Youkai?" Sanzo suddenly asked. "Can you bring Youkai back with human souls?" Hazel looked at and smiled.
"Why, Miss holy Maiden. Why would I want to do that?" he asked. This made Goku and Gojyo stop fighting for a moment. Hazel placed his hat back on.
"We'll be stayin' in this town for awhile. Y'all should be stickin' around for awhile too, am I right?" he asked. "The name's Hazel. Hazel Grosse." Sanzo stayed quiet. She had no intention of giving this man her name.
"Sanzo. Be nice." Hakkai said from the bed. She sighed.
"Genjyo Sanzo." she finally said.
"Well, Miss Sanzo... I do hope we meet again." Then he grabbed her hand and... kissed it?! Sanzo didn't even bother to pull out her fan. She just grabbed a vase and smashed it on his head, then she literally tossed him out into the hall so hard, he went out the window of the other room!
"Are all men idiots or just the ones I know?!" she growled as she slammed the door. Hakkai laughed nervously from the bed.
"We can't help it when in the presence of a lovely woman, like yourself, Sanzo."
"For your sake, I hope that the fever talking." she growled at him, eyes flaring. She wasn't in the mood for this! She turned away in a huff. "I can't believe that man knows I'm a woman! This is all your fault, monkey!" she growled, her forgotten anger returning to her.
"Ow! Itami! Pain!" Goku cried.
"Don't all the demons already know?" Gojyo sudden asked. Making Sanzo stop her attack on Goku for a moment.
"What?!"
"That's right!" Hakkai said as he suddenly remembered. "That Zakuro guy said that he was going to tell everyone your secret, remember?"
"What?! Damn him!!" she said as she started to pound Goku again.
"Ow!! Why're you poundin' me?!"
"Because I can't get my hands on that freak!"
/Meanwhile/
"Susa-niiiii!! Are we there yet?" Tsuki whined as he sat on cushioned couch. Susanowa sighed.
"Do you see an angry female throwing fire balls everywhere?" he asked, cooly from the driver's seat of a roving tower. Since it was a roving tower and not a flying city, Tsuki didn't think Sanzo would be too mad.
"No..."
"Then we're not there yet." Tsuki was quiet for 3 seconds.
"How about now?"
"Don't make me turn this tower around!"
"Fine!" Tsuki pouted. Then he whined, "I'm hungry!"
"Then find the kitchen!" Susanowa snapped, impatiently.
"I don't wanna wander around here alone! Something might eat me!" Tsuki whined as he turned over on his belly.
"It's not like it would be the first time." Susanowa said, completely not caring.
"True, but that doesn't make it anymore enjoyable the 169th time." Tsuki said. "C'mon! You're my big bro! You're suppose to take care of me!"
"I'm driving a tower all over China, looking for our sister in order to save your girlfriend, I'm doing my brotherly duties."
"C'mon! Pleeeease!!" Susanowa sighed.
"Fine." He got up from his seat and shoved Tsuki in it. "You drive while I go get you food."
"Hai." Tsuki said as he put his hands over the globe, which controlled the castle.
When Susanowa left, Tsuki's mind began to wonder.
/Flashback/
Tsuki and Konzen were snuggled together on a tree branch, under the moon light with Goku on both their laps. Tonight they had all snuck down to earth and after a long day of playing, Goku had passed out from exhaustion and so now, they were all resting.
"So how was today, Ko-chan?" Tsuki as he cuddled her closer to him.
"Exhausting," Konzen said, shortly. "You two are bad enough alone, but together... Oh, god! You're worse then that hag!" Tsuki chuckled.
"That's mean!" he said. "You're lucky I'm so nice around this kid."
"Why's that?" Konzen asked, not really caring as she cuddled Goku's head on her lap. Tsuki only smiled.
"That's a secret." he said. Konzen scowled at him.
"You and your secrets! You're just like everyone else!" she said, thinking about Tenpou.
"Aw, we're just trying to protect ya." Tsuki said as he played with her hair.
"Maybe I don't want to be protected! Did you ever think of that?!" she snapped as she pulled away.
"Hey, hey. Keep it down, or you'll wake the kid." Tsuki whispered as he motioned to Goku, who wiggled a little in his slumber. "And if you don't want to be protected... Then you picked the wrong guy to fall in love with. Because no matter what... I'm always gonna protect you. Even if I have to destroy heaven it's self." Then pulled her into a gentle kiss.
"Hey, Konzen?" Tsuki asked when they pulled out of the kiss.
"Hm?" Konzen said as she looked at him.
"I was just wonderin'... If you had to choose, what would you pick? The Earth, or the Moon?"
"Huh?"
"Well, it's just that you treat Goku the same way, you used to treat me when we first met. So I was wondering... If you had met Goku before me, would you have fallen for him?" Tsuki asked, looking completely serious. Konzen stared at him, at loss for words.
That was the one question... Tsuki never got the answer to.
/End Flashback/
"Tsuki!"
"Waugh!!" Tsuki cried as his heart almost literally jumped out of his chest. "What?!"
"Where the hell are we?!"
"Huh?" Tsuki looked outside and saw that the area around them... was covered in snow! "What the hell?! How did we get here?!"
"That what I want to know! Weren't you paying attention?!" Susanowa yelled as he crushed the food he had brought for Tsuki in his hands.
"Of course I was! Okay, maybe my mind was somewhere else..." Susanowa twitched.
"Well in that case..." Suddenly he kicked Tsuki out and into the snow. "You get to find out where the hell we are!"
"Ow! Oh, that's really nice! Just kick me out into the could without any food!" he grumbled as he stood. Then he saw a pack of penguins waddling towards him.
"Hey," he greeted. "Can you tell me where I am?" The penguins all blinked up at him cutely him for a minute, then they all suddenly pulled out butcher knifes and started to attack him! "Waugh! Not again!"
"Tsuki! Stop playing with those birds and find out where we are!" Susanowa yelled from the tower.
"Who the hell is playing?!" Tsuki yelled as he ran for his immortal life.
"Get him!!" the penguins yelled in penguin language as they chased after him.
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Poor Tsuki! First chickens, now penguins... He's never gonna catch a brake, is he? Hee, hee! Not as long as I'm around!
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