Title: The Complete Idiot's Guide to "The Moment"
Word Count: 880
Summary: It's not getting in touch with your feminine side so much as gathering Intel on the enemy.
A/N: …I have no idea where this came from.
Contrary to popular (Okita's, rather) belief, Saitou was actually pretty knowledgeable about women, and he owed this entirely to his older sister and her friends…however much it pained him to admit that.
So he knew exactly what Tokio was talking about one afternoon when he arrived a tad late to find her and Shiori discussing what they called "The Moment."
"The Moment" was, in Saitou's opinion, melodramatic bullshit, but women liked it, so he'd used it to his advantage several times, always with fantastic results for his trouble. He refused to tell Okita about it because 1) Saitou would happily submit to being slit open and filled with hot coals before admitting that he knew this kind of information, and 2) he liked it when Okita suffered. It was good for his friend's soul and moral character…and more importantly, it amused Saitou immensely.
But that was getting off topic.
"…very important," Shiori was saying when he made it to the counter.
"What is?" he asked. "Yo," he added, rolling his eyes, when Shiori shot him her patented "I-know-you're-not-as-rude-as-you-act" look.
"'The Moment'," Tokio replied. "You're late, by the way."
"These things happen in life," he said, shrugging, then grinned at her, eyes gleaming. "Why, Chiisai—did you miss me?"
She sent him a flat look, and his grin widened.
"I'm so sorry to have kept you waiting," he continued.
"Oh be quiet," she ordered irritably. "I only said anything because you're always talking about me being late."
"Hn, yes, well, you deserve it," he replied, sending her a smug smirk.
She made a face at him, and he grinned and looked back over at Shiori, to find her watching them with equal parts amusement and exasperation.
"So what about this 'The Moment'?" he asked, leaning an elbow against the counter.
The two women exchanged a look he couldn't quite decipher—the closest equivalent he could come up with was the eloquently succinct but extremely vulgar "What-the-fuck?"
"Why do you want to know?" Tokio asked suspiciously.
He shrugged again, rather enjoying himself; oh, he did so love to toy with her….
"I dunno, I got nothing better to talk about," he replied casually. "So what is it?"
Both women rolled their eyes at him, and he resisted the urge to laugh—this was going to be fun, he could tell.
"Of course he wouldn't know," Tokio muttered sourly, and he raised an eyebrow, intrigued—did he detect a little disappointment from his favorite little executive?
"Most men don't," Shiori said in a consoling, long-suffering tone. "Kuno doesn't, that's for sure," she muttered in the same sour voice Tokio used, and Saitou's eyebrow climbed higher.
Yup. That was disappointment all right.
"So tell me," he said, and knew he'd annoyed both women by the flat looks they shot him. "Geez, all right, don't tell me," he said, holding up both hands with a grimace. "I don't want to know bad enough."
Shiori rolled her eyes and moved away to let Kuno know Saitou had arrived, leaving her companions to their own devices. Tokio sighed and rested her chin on her fist and eyed him thoughtfully. He raised an eyebrow.
"What?"
"Why'd you wanna know?"
"No reason."
"Pull the other one, Saitou-san."
He grinned.
"Is that an invitation?" he inquired in the pervert voice, and she flushed.
"It most certainly is not," she said frostily.
He chuckled and held up a hand in surrender.
"Easy Chiisai, I'm kidding."
"Why'd you ask?"
"Honestly? I'm spying on you females," he said, smirking. "Trying to get you to tell me all your secrets."
"Well then you're a terrible spy," she informed him archly, making him chuckle again.
She eyed him, then sighed again.
"You're not going to tell me why you want to know, are you?"
"Nope."
"Evil man."
"I do try."
She looked at him out of the corner of her eye, and he sent her an honest smile, because she really did look so damn cute when she was frustrated (and he hadn't just thought that). It took a little while, but eventually she returned his smile and they stayed that way for several beats.
Until Shiori came back with Tokio's food and the bag containing his and ruined it.
Saitou, when he was sure Tokio wasn't looking, sent Shiori a nasty look that told her just how much he resented the intrusion; she ignored it.
"Saitou-san?" Tokio asked, once Shiori had moved away to attend to other customers.
"Yeah?"
"You know, just now, before Shiori-san came…?"
He perked up, interested.
"Yeah?"
She smiled at him in a way that made him want to smile back—or pick her up and kiss her.
"That's what 'The Moment' is."
It took him a second, but he realized what she meant.
"That was it, huh?"
She nodded, still smiling. He smiled back.
"That right?"
She nodded again.
"You wanna know why I wanted to know?"
She tilted her head, one curious eyebrow raised.
"Seemed like something I should know. Just in case."
"So I'm training you?" she asked, amused.
"I wouldn't take lessons from anyone else," he replied, grinning when she flushed.
So it wasn't entirely honest. But she was charmed and he knew it and that was the most important thing.
All's fair, baby. All's fair.