Kiku sits on the couch, staring blankly at the screen. Watching television has never been a hobby of his, but desperate times call for desperate measures.
And it is not really that bad, he supposes. He sees what people mean now, how television can be addicting. Already he can feel the worries disappearing into the back of his mind, pushed back to be dealt with at a later time. A defense mechanism, a method of escape: that is what television is. Numbing.
"Kiku?" a voice calls from the other room. Yao's voice. Kiku doesn't look away from the screen, merely nodding in acknowledgement. He forgets his older brother is in another room and cannot see the movement.
"What are you watching?" Kiku vaguely registers the sound of footsteps coming nearer.
"Hitler?" Yao raises an eyebrow, watching the program for a few minutes before reaching for the remote. With a flash, the television becomes black. "Kiku, you've got to get off your butt and do something. Aiya…this isn't healthy!"
Kiku gives him a blank look, turning instead to look out the window. Sighing, Yao sits down on the couch beside his younger brother. "What's bothering you?" he asks, the tone in his voice a mixture of concern and…confusion? "I know that your computer troubles have been hard for you, but I feel like there's something else. You're not getting sick, are you?"
"No…" the younger boy hedges, not meeting his older brother's eyes. "I'm fine. Really."
The older male shakes his head in disbelief, before turning to the remote in his hand.
"Hm…let's put on something more cheerful to improve the atmosphere." A click of a button, and an all too familiar program with a certain white feline pops on. Normally Kiku would give the show a chance, at least taking a few minutes to appreciate the adorableness of the characters. Today, however, he is in no such mood.
Predictably, Yao focuses in on the television almost immediately, looking absorbed in the on goings. But Kiku has long since realized that his older brother is adept at multitasking.
"When I was your age, I was hardly home." Yao narrates, already getting himself into the mindset. "Between work, and clubs, and socializing—I was very busy. Even during the summer."
"I would seek employment if you would let me," Kiku murmurs under his breath, leaning back against the couch ever so slightly.
"I might make an exception just to get you out of the house for a little while," Yao responds, half-jokingly. When Kiku reached working age, his older brother had made it clear that he did not want his younger sibling to work. He had claimed it was because he wanted him to commit himself to his studies. Kiku knew better. That wasn't the full reason at all, not entirely.
"Maybe I'll buy myself some Calculus books…prepare for my studies next year." Kiku suggests, half-serious. The last thing he wants to do right now is learn about Calculus of all things, especially if it is anything like Pre-Calculus as the name would imply. But he knows his brother is not about to let this go, and tries to think of some other productive occupations that might get him off his case.
"I thought you were signed up to take Statistics next year," Yao muses aloud, eyes fixed to the screen, but with ears perked, listening. "After Pre-Calculus, I thought you were put off by anything with a similar name."
"…it's never too early to start preparation." He mentally curses himself forgetting his course scheduling. Really, he should be beyond such screw-ups. But he isn't himself, with all that is going on. He isn't himself at all.
"Why don't you go spend some time with Alfred or something?" Yao inquires, hardly glancing away from his program. "He hasn't stopped by since last week, has he?"
"Last week?" Kiku looks over at his older brother, absolutely perplexed. He hasn't seen much of the blond in awhile now, certainly longer than a week. "Are you sure?"
"Yep," the older Asian replies succinctly, eyes still fixated on the glowing screen. "Around three-ish, on Saturday, I think. I just sent him up."
Three-ish, Kiku repeats to himself mentally. He was asleep around that time, if he remembers correctly. Taking a nap. Well, reading, actually: it had just become a nap of its own accord, as he was so tired. He has never been a deliberate nap-taker.
"I think I'll give him a call." Kiku speaks aloud, falling into his usual habit of making those around him aware of his actions, so as to avoid any possible confusion. His brother is prone to keeping tabs on him, so he has done his best to make it easier. That is, when he is in the mood to do so. The list of people that get on his nerves is very short, but his older sibling has managed to make it into the selective space. It must be a family thing.
Yao glances up then, for the first time since he turned the television back on, and watches his younger sibling with a soft smile on his face. Kiku squirms a little under the gaze, not quite knowing how to respond, unsure of which exact cogs are turning inside his brother's head.
"Is there something you want to say?" he asks instead, making his move so that the pressure is off him, deterred for the time being. Where had this tension between them come from? Had it always been there, even back when they were a complete family? For the life of him, Kiku cannot remember.
"I was just thinking," Yao answers vaguely, but there remains that hint of expectance in the air, telling Kiku that there are still more words to come, that the thought is not yet complete. He waits.
"Perhaps…maybe it's a good thing that this happened. That your computer broke."
Kiku jerks slightly, expression caught in the crossroads between hurt, anger, and confusion, settling somewhere near aghast. Seeing the change in expression, the longer-haired male raises his hands in the universal gesture of goodwill, silently pleading to be heard out. Kiku tries to relax slightly, tries to calm down and listen. He is a good listener.
"All I mean is…that it's good to see you spending more time with your friends, especially Alfred. He's a good kid, and you've always been such a recluse. It's nice to see you coming out of your shell, if only a little, aru. Ever since you and Heracles broke up—"
"That…!" Kiku starts, but soon falls into an irritated silence. It's his turn to make a move, to say something, but suddenly his thoughts are in a buzz, none of them coming forth to clarity. He flushes in annoyance, in frustration, in something.
"It's not like that," he says at last, fidgeting with his fingers. "We aren't like that, he's not…and I…" Yao smiles understandingly, placing a hand on Kiku's.
"These things take time," he advises, looking straight into Kiku's eyes. Kiku has never been comfortable with eye contact, so direct, so personal. So exposing. "Just don't rush into anything. I know how things were between you and Heracles, and—"
"We aren't…!" Kiku begins again, but the rest of the sentence doesn't follow, doesn't complete itself in his head, let alone make it out of his mouth to audibility.
"Just relax, and be yourself. Alfred's a good kid; he really cares about you. You just have to give him a chance and let him help you. You don't have to go through everything on your own."
"…"
A long silence stretches between the two of them, Yao waiting for Kiku to respond, to take his turn, and Kiku at a loss for words and actions.
After awhile, Kiku shakes his head and gets up. "I'm going to call Alfred."
"All right, aru~" Yao responds, eyes once again glued to the screen. The expression on his brother's face has become too much of a grin for Kiku's liking.
A slightly quicker update, yes? I already have a little bit of the next chapter written, so I hope to have that up within the next few days. I'll be on Holiday break starting tomorrow, so I will have more time to work on things. I've been meaning to get back to FCtH, though…so we'll see what ends up happening.