Sonic Insanity
This will be the last chapter for a while, I have other things to do.
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Far away, in a deeply buried, underground, subterranean secret base, Eggman looked at the beautiful city view through his window and sighed. Sometimes he felt like he lived in a movie. Right now it felt like Office Space. When he was a kid it felt like Monty Python and the Holy Grail. Around his parents it was like Mr. and Mrs. Smith. But most of all, it seemed like his life was…
"The Sonic the Hedgehog movie!" roared Eggman, flinging a paperweight across the room. One of his robots fell over. "That little blue imbecile shall not live one more instant! I shall have to planningfully plan a planningful plan of planningful planitude!"
"Don't over-plan it," Metal Sonic sneered. Eggman stuffed him in an old pizza box.
"Shut up! Now, that fox boy might have been right. The Egg anything is too stupid." He thought for a minute. Finally a light bulb appeared over his head. "I'm a genius!"
"No, you're not!" cried Metal Sonic. Eggman snatched the light bulb out of the air and hit Metal Sonic with it.
"Shut up! This device," snarled Eggman, "will be henceforth known as… the Echo Chicken Project!"
Metal Sonic was speechless.
"Secretly, beneath the earth, there lies a foundation built on the sweat, blood, tears and feathers of numerous chickens. These chickens are the architects of our world. Using advanced "eat until I actually come up with this part of the plan" technology, I shall convince these chickens to destroy the world!" Eggman finally finished. "So, what do you think?"
Metal Sonic exploded, verbally and almost physically. "You IDIOT! That's the most farfetched, impossible, crazy, doltish, unnecessary, stupid, unlikely plan ever conceived! There is no way it'll work!"
"Ah, but I have a powerful bargaining chip…" Eggman sneered.
"What?"
"The Anarchy Sapphires!" Eggman pulled out seven jewels that, for some completely unknown reason, greatly resembled another set of powerful gems…
"What power do these have?" asked Metal Sonic.
"Not only are they indestructible, but chickens consider them a source of great evil," explained Eggman as if he was talking to a two-year-old.
"Why would they want a source of great evil?" growled Metal Sonic.
"So… they… can… destroy… wait a sec…"
"YOU MORON!" screamed Metal Sonic.
"Shut up! See how you like this!" Eggman pressed a secret switch. A giant door opened. Behind it was…
A clay facial mask and leg shaving kit!
Metal Sonic raised an eyebrow.
Then, these feminine products were crushed by the falling Master Emerald.
"Behold!" cried Eggman. "The Master Emerald! With this source of unspeakable power, I can mesmerize the chickens and cause them to follow me!"
"Where do these chickens live?" asked Metal Sonic.
"Angel Island, of course," shrugged Eggman.
"Angel… you imbecile! Don't you think that these super intelligent creatures might actually be a little mad that their island fell into the sea? Plus, you stole their sacred gemstone!" bellowed Metal Sonic.
"Well, I do have the power of the Anarchy Sap- ow! That was uncalled f- ow!" Metal Sonic kicked Eggman across the room.
Suddenly Knuckles burst in through a wall. Very precisely, he shot all the robots with a huge gun and then turned at Eggman. "Your chicken-enslaving and all-powerful-jewel-creating days are over!"
"Prove it!" snarled Eggman childishly.
Knuckles suddenly appeared in typical RPG clothing. He wore a brown tunic, long black cape, golden tiara, carried a staff and a huge sword, wore magic-looking boots, and wore eye shadow. (Covers all the basic Final Fantasy types.) He began some kind of enormously intricate summons, from Glowing Rune Enchantment to Thor's Hammer of Sigil Storms to Mighty Demonic Horde Revival and such things. Nothing happened, except that purple, pink, yellow and green energy formed images of falling camels for no reason.
"Bwahaha!" cackled Eggman. "How stupid! How ridiculous! That's the worst idea I've… CHICKENS?" For indeed, tens of thousands of insanely angry chickens had swarmed together around Knuckles to form some kind of giant ogre-thing, made out of clucking farmyard birds.
Sonic and Shadow sped in, and even more chickens created ogre-things around them. Tails came as well. By the end, four huge chicken-trolls, about ten feet high each with a furry as the head lurched at Eggman and Metal Sonic. A turn-based battle began.
Metal Sonic chose Run. He ran.
"Traitor," mumbled Eggman. The fat warlord performed a complex magical spells. All the chickens turned into Hot Pockets. This couldn't be good.
Each of the Hot Pocket-covered furries attempted a greasy attack and failed. Finally, Eggman ate all of the Hot Pockets and won.
"Give me the Master Emerald!" roared Knuckles. "You just ATE all of your potential followers, you don't have any use for it!"
"You're right," cackled Eggman. "So, I'll make some kind of excuse for keeping it while fleeing like a twerp!" And with that, the Egg Slinky picked him and the Emerald up and began to tumble away.
Knuckles began to curse.
"That was weird," Tails said.
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