Sonic Insanity

Yeah, I'm back. Review!

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So, after the Anarchy Sapphires incident, or the Chicken Summoning incident, or the Faker Acts Like An Imbecile incident, depending on whether you asked Eggman, Knuckles or Shadow, it was early in the morning. Only Tails was awake. He was feverishly playing Sonic Adventure 2 on the Game Cube.

"Come on, come on…" he muttered, tapping many buttons. "No! No! ARGH!"

Upstairs, an alarm clock rang, followed by gunfire. Sonic plodded down the stairs, making himself a cup of coffee.

"Hey Tails, what game are you playing?" asked Sonic.

"Sonic Adventure 2 Battle," groaned Tails. "Oh, come on, I almost had it… NO!" He dropped the controller and wept.

"Tails, you're still on the title screen," Sonic said in confusion. Each button, except for Start/Pause and A, were severely worn.

"No I'm not!" said Tails. "I'm on Level Three Hundred!"

Sonic pressed Start. The game file-loading screen came up. Tails seized the controller and began to hammer on the buttons.

Sonic, absolutely fed up, started the first level on Hero side. He began to play as himself.

By the end of the level, Sonic was enraged. "These graphics make my daring adventures look like complete LUNACY!" he bellowed. "The tumbling cars just disappear as they fall! Plus, those robots are pitifully weak!"

Shadow came downstairs and began to watch the cut scene. "That doesn't look anything like me!" he snarled. "This lip synch is worse than most 70s dubbed kung fu movies! And my voice sounds like Ewan McGregor after smoking cigarettes!"

"Ewan McGregor does smoke," Sonic reminded him.

Knuckles came down to watch the treasure hunting level. "This is utterly ridiculous! I have better taste in rap music than that! Plus, I can sense an emerald from a mile away! Not within a couple inches!"

Tails also got to his own level. "Why, this is outrageous! If it was this easy destroying machines, I'd be the one with all the glory!"

"That does it," vowed Sonic. "We must go to find the leader of Sega to make him pay for his misdeeds!"

In Japan, the leader of Sega, Yuji Naka, was trying to reason with the irate heroes.

"Please! All I can say is that the next game is much bigger," Naka said. "Our plot development, character arcs and game plays modes will put all those fancy plot-ends-in-thirty-six-different-ways PC and Xbox games to shame! Also, the control scheme rivals anything before it!"

"And…"

"The plot revolves around an evil doctor who makes steadily more ridiculous robots and machines. He steals a series of sacred gemstones, forcing Sonic the Hedgehog to get them back."

"YOU IDIOT!" roared Knuckles. "How is that in any way different from Sonic Adventure DX?"

"No, wait!" Yuji said quickly. "You will be able to play as multiple characters, some of which have the same mission objectives, others of which have different! For example, Knuckles will be forced to search for pieces of the Chaos Emerald, Shadow will have the same mission objectives as Sonic but with different levels-"

"How does that change ANYTHING from Sonic Adventure 2: Battle?" wondered Tails angrily.

"But our characters are so much more developed!" whined Naka. "For instance, Shadow and Sonic have a fierce rivalry, Tails is revealed to be an inventing genius, Knuckles has a strong desire to bring together the Master Em-"

"So what is this revolutionary control scheme we've been hearing about?" hissed Shadow, looking quite angry.

"Well," Yuji said, looking for an exit, "for Sonic, A is jump, A while in midair is Homing Attack, and B is the charged speed roll!"

Ten seconds later, Yuji Naka was booted from his office. He went falling down the length of the skyscraper, screaming all the way…

Then he landed on a fire escape three inches from his office.

"Ingrates," he roared. "I'll get them back if it's the last thing I-"

Then, Knuckles dropkicked him over the edge.

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Sorry for such a short chapter. Please review. Seriously, this might be the last chappie for a while, I'm not making much progress with this.