Sonic Insanity
Please review. Sorry for the wait.
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It was a week or two later. Eggman did not seem to be planning anything, Yuji Naka was successfully out of the way, and all was well at the Sonic household. Sonic was giving a fatherly discussion to Tails on the subject of-
"Sex!" said Sonic.
"WHAT?" shrieked Tails.
"Tails, I think it's time you went on a date with someone of the opposite sex!" Sonic said proudly.
"Sonic, I can't think of anyone I would want to go out with!" Tails whined. "There's so many of them!"
Sonic growled. The young fool had a point. "How about Cream? She's nice."
"I think she likes Charmy," muttered Tails bashfully.
"Well, Knuckles here is about to call up Rouge," said Sonic, gesturing to Knuckles. "And if you take Cream with you, you can have a double date. So you can pick up some pointers from them, huh?"
"Why don't you go on a date, huh?" accused Tails.
This could be trouble. "Um… with who?"
"Eggman?" suggested Tails slyly. After he had been throttled thoroughly by Sonic, Tails suggested, "Amy?"
"Amy! I don't like her! She's a groupie!" screamed Sonic. Shadow pulled out his cell phone to dial someone up.
"Then how about Tikal?" asked Tails honestly. "She might be nice."
"Dead girls have lots of experience, faker," Shadow sneered. Sonic lobbed the couch at him and turned around.
"Well… I guess… I will if you go with Cream," Sonic said.
"Deal," Tails said, and they shook paws.
"Well, Shadow," Sonic smirked, "I guess it's just a quiet night at home for you, while we guys have a wild night on the-"
"Done!" Shadow said. "I'll drive by Amy's house at 7 PM."
Sonic lunged forward to throttle the hedgehog, foam flying from his teeth, but Knuckles swatted him down in midair.
"Rouge says she'll meet us wherever we go," he whispered, covering the phone's mouthpiece with one hand and carrying Sonic away with the other. "Where are we going?"
"Dinner and a movie," Shadow proposed.
"Movie and a meal," Sonic said.
"DVD and kiddy table!" proposed Tails. Sonic was thrown at him by Knuckles.
"OK, I know a good Italian restaurant… yeah, that place. The Strangled Spaghetti Cook, yeah. We'll drive by the theater after that. Yeah, bye." Knuckles hung up triumphantly.
Tails picked up the phone next, dialing Cream's number. While Knuckles and Shadow teased him and appraised him, Sonic picked up the extension in the kitchen.
"Come on, pick up, pick up," hissed Tails. Just before the answering machine went on, Big answered. "Hello?"
"Big, is Cream there?" asked Tails.
"Froggy… I lost Froggy!"
"Listen, we can talk about Froggy later, can I talk to Cream?"
"Can you help me find Fro- hey!" protested Big as Cream took the phone. "Hello?"
"Hi, Cream, it's Tails," Tails said. He tried to sound manly and failed. Shadow began to crack up.
"Oh hi Tails, what is it?" she asked.
"You're not doing anything this evening, are you?" Tails inquired.
"No… well, Big and I were gonna play chess, but I think he forgot the rules again." Shadow began to roll around, tears streaming from his eyes.
"Well, you see, I was wondering if you wanted to go eat dinner and watch a movie with me tonight," Tails said, his voice cracking tremendously. Shadow screamed with silent laughter.
"You know, that sounds like a good idea," said Cream. "What time?"
"I dunno, how about I pick you up at 7? Everyone's going out, just so you know."
"Oh, good. Amy too?"
"Yes."
"Good! Well, talk to you soon, Tails." The line went dead.
Sonic, spitting and snarling over Shadow's treachery, picked up the phone and dialed.
"Tikal here."
"Tikal, it's me, Sonic."
"Oh, hey, Sonic. 'Sup?"
"Oh, nothing much…" Sonic decided to avoid telling her about the Master Emerald until later. "Listen, I was wondering if you wanted to go out tonight, dinner and a movie."
"Let me check my schedule… Sure. Will 6 work?"
"Uh, I was thinking more around 7…"
"That'll be fine too. Is anyone else going?"
"Uh, yeah. Tails and Cream-"
"They'd make such a cute couple! I have to see this!"
"Shadow and Amy, and Rouge and Knuckles."
"Knuckles," she spat. "That Master Emerald loser is going out with that thieving hussy?"
Crap. She knew. "Um, yeah…"
"I'll have to see about this. So, I'll see you at 7."
"Yeah."
"OK then," Tikal said. "Bye!" She hung up.
"Hey Chuckles, your ancestor heard about you losing the Emerald," Sonic said, smirking. Knuckles paled. This couldn't be good.
The clock struck 6:45. A small cuckoo bird thingy flew out, pecked everyone in the skull, and flew back in.
"I gotta go pick up Cream," winced Tails, rubbing his skull. Moments later, they saw the Tornado flying away.
"I'll get Tikal too!" said Sonic, leaving in the Cyclone.
"Time for me to get Amy," Shadow said, hopping on his motorcycle and driving off.
Knuckles growled. He didn't have a ride. Just to be sure, he stomped into the garage. And then he saw the car.
His eyes glittered with excitement.
Sonic and Tikal got to The Strangled Spaghetti Cook fairly easily. So did Shadow and Amy. Tails and Cream were on their way.
"They're so cute!" said Tails, looking at Cream's Chaos.
"Yes, this one is Cheese and this one's Chocola!" said Cream. Okay, more meaningless babble. They all met up at the restaurant and got a table for eight.
"I hope Knuckles gets here soon," Sonic commented, and then, as he looked through the window, his eyes bugged out of his head. There, sitting in the parking lot, was a sparkling convertible Ferrari with gold rims and green paint job, with gold furry dice in the window and black upholstery. Written across the side in Old English font were the words
KNUCKLES
FEAR THE FISTS
Then, through the front door, came Rouge in a very… revealing evening outfit. The whole outfit was made out of about three feet of material and was covered in sequins. And then, dressed in a dark blue coat resembling a bathrobe, with black pants and a black shirt reading I CREATED THE FLOW, dressed in shiny dark shoes and deep blue hat, with a gold-toothed smile and rimless shades, holding a long ebony cane with a tiny replica of the Master Emerald on the end, was Knuckles. He told the staff what party he was with and sat down, putting his feet up on the table and crushing Tikal's salad beneath his shoes. Rouge looked very excited. Tails looked jealous at Knuckles' pimp-ness. Cream looked awed. Amy looked surprised. Shadow looked skeptical. Tikal looked angry. And Sonic looked absolutely enraged.
"That does it!" he screamed, banging his fist on the table fiercely and causing the silverware to bounce into the air. "Where did you get that car? And all those clothes? This isn't possible! How?"
Knuckles raised a gloved fist. Around each spike was a jeweled ring. "Keep peaceful, son. There's nothing worse than a nice get-together becoming a habitat for hasty emotions." He removed his feet from Tikal's salad and pulled another one off of a waiter's tray, handing the dish to her. She seemed slightly less angry.
Sonic, however, was still angry. "But where did you get it all?"
"My brotha Tails here," he said, ruffling Tails' head, "had the grace to get me this ride." He gestured at the Ferrari. "I call her the Emerald Boat. I propose a toast to Tails." Everyone realized that they had glasses of wine at their places, although Tails and Cream had grape juice. "Tails, may you continue to keep the peace. Cars and men need you to form the bond. To Tails, the mechanic wunderkind of our time!"
Tails looked bashful, although he muttered, "I didn't give you that car."
"WAITER!" bellowed Knuckles. The chandelier swayed with the force of his yelling. "Eight plates of spaghetti, please. Meatballs for the men, and cheese for the ladies." He gave all the girls a heart-melting glance. Rouge looked immensely proud.
In the kitchen, Eggman was making meatballs. The evil genius wore a large noose around his neck, made out of spaghetti. "Hmmph! That foolish echidna thinks he's the main pimp around here! Well, I'll show him." Eggman pulled out a Cuban cigar, Best of 1803, and dipped it into a candle. He took a puff, sending a bolt of flame that seared through the air and hit a waiter in the back of the head. Eggman cackled. "None shall stand before my power! Er, I mean, no brotha gon' be cramping my style, fo sho!" He began a gangsta swagger out of the kitchen with the plates, but tripped over the end of the spaghetti noose and almost concussed himself on a trashcan.
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