Sonic Insanity

Here's the rule, OK? I want one of you to review R Is For Reloaded. Any of you. You just have to either review this or have reviewed this, then review R Is For Reloaded. OK? I'll update then.

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Sonic was still angry over Knuckles' sudden gangsta-ness. "Knuckles, this is preposterous. I still don't get how it happened."

"I remember it like it was yesterday," said Knuckles.

"Knuckles, it was, like, half an hour ago."

"That too," Knux said. "Anywizzle, so there I was, minding my own business, when a rhino comes plowing through the wreckage of…"

"Dinner is served!" said Eggman the waiter, plunking down many plates.

"All right, you fool, that pathetic disguise won't work on us!" bellowed Tikal, jumping up.

"Yeah!" Sonic said. "Time to give up… Dark Helmet!"

Knuckles rolled his eyes very coolly. "Please, ma peeps. Is it not clear? This man clearly stands for the organization that is… THE POTATO FARMERS UNION!" Lightning clashed and thunder rumbled. "So, playa hater, I'm rocking styles now. You wanna see how you do against a brotha who's prepared for your game?"

"You idiots!" raged Tails. "It's obviously Eggman! So, you fake spaghetti cook, how'd you get in here?"

"Well," Eggman said, "it all started when an enormous rhinoceros came barging in through the wreckage of my…"

"All right, that's enough," snapped Sonic. "What's your diabolical plan this time, Criscorolls Syrupsucker?"

Eggman began to steam from the ears. "Shut up! This plan tops all my previous ideas! I'll show you the true meaning of evil!"

"Wow, you're willing to acknowledge that your plan is the evil one, or the wrong one," said Shadow.

"You have to achieve unity first," advised Knuckles. "You can't have the cheddar flowing until you get some self-respeck! You think I got the iced-out ghetto blaster with that kinda attitude? You think I run the streets by thinking of myself as the mofo?"

"Knuckles, you don't run the streets, you don't have 'the cheddar flowing' and you don't have an iced-out ghetto blaster," Sonic pointed out. "All you have is a car you reupholstered and repainted, and the only reason you had that car was cause Tails invented it for you…"

"I didn't say I ain't appreciative!" Knuckles said, looking affronted. "Sonic, you ain't stacking the paper neither, so don't be hating."

Eggman pounded Cream's plate of noodles. "Silence! I won't take this! See how you like the power of my…"

Out of the kitchen rolled a large, enormous…

"EGG MEATBALL!" cackled Eggman, sitting atop the rolling meatball and pulling out two cannons.

Knuckles almost died laughing. "You gonna execute yo' plans, fool, you gon' need some better Gats than that. Take it from me."

Just then, a cannonball hit Knuckles in the chest. The smile left his face as he toppled off his seat into a wall.

"No!" Rouge screamed. She dashed to his side.

"No…" Sonic whimpered. "Those physics couldn't be seen anywhere outside of a ridiculous action movie! And we all know where Mecha Scorpion turns for his ridiculous action movie references… THE MATRIX RELOADED! And I'll be damned if I'll be forced through another retread of the Agent Smith fight scene or something similar! That does it, Eggman! You and all your descendants are toast!" With these stirring words, Sonic roared into high gear, his friends following him.

"Rouge…" Knuckles gasped, his breath ragged. 'There's one thing I wanted you to have… though you'll always have my love…"

"What is it, Knuckles?" asked Rouge. "Whatever it is, I'm here."

With a shaking hand, Knuckles passed her the keys to the Ferrari. "Take them…"

"Knuckles, I can't," she wept. "That was always yours."

"I won't be around to use it… Rouge, all I ever wanted to do was make you proud," Knux coughed. "Remember me…" Then he died.

"NOOOOOOOOO!" Rouge cried, sobs wracking her body.

"What's the fuss, people?" asked Knuckles, walking through the front door with no sign of being a gangsta.

Sonic managed to restrain his anger for the longest he had ever done so… 5 seconds. "KNUCKLES! You just DIED!"

"Funny… it seems like it, doesn't it? Actually, something like that happened a week ago," said Knuckles cockily. "See, I was just minding my own business when a rhino-"

His eyes narrowing, Eggman attempted to roll over the annoying echidna. Knuckles dodged it, if by 'dodged it' you mean 'relied on Eggman's monumentally poor sense of direction and accuracy.' The mad doctor went flying, and there was a revving sound. Tails had gotten behind the wheels of Knuckles' Ferrari.

The car banked off a table and went off a previously nonexistent ramp. Tails bailed out at the last minute, landing on Shadow's motorcycle and pulling out Shadow's guns. The Ferrari landed on the Egg Meatball, creating a colossal explosion that ripped through the restaurant.

Knuckles was dimly aware of someone shielding him from harm with their body, as he was the slowest. Everyone else was escaping… then fire consumed the restaurant.

"Knuckles? Tikal? Are you here?" shouted a voice.

"I'm here!" bellowed Knuckles, crashing out through the wreckage and narrowly avoiding a rhinoceros. "But she… she's gone… she sacrificed herself for us."

"No I didn't, I'm right here," Tikal said, appearing.

"Tikal! But… then who shielded me from the fire?" asked Knux man.

"I did, but since I don't really have a physical body, it didn't work!" Tikal said. "Look at you!"

Knuckles looked at his body, which was charred black. Yeah, real ghetto all right.

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