Sonic Insanity

Note: This is not the last chapter. Finally I'm getting some real reviews! Keep them coming!

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Sonic and Knuckles, angry as all get out or some such antiquated saying, were shoved into some police cars and were driven off.

"You're both arrested for destruction to public property," said a policeman. "And I gotta say, boys, the case ain't lookin' too good against ya. You're wearing gloves, for instance! The commonly used item of all thieves and crooks!"

"I was trying to chase him, Your Donut-Stuffed Honor, it wasn't my fault that Hades burst out of the earth and went zooming after him, destroying half the city in his wake," Sonic said.

The policeman hit him. "Another witness, huh? We'll scoop up him and Rouge the Bat later. Plus, it seems Mr. Echidna here has some serious ties to gangsters!"

"That was just because Rouge gave me some sort of terrible makeover!" argued Knuckles. "I don't want my pimp days!" There was a brief pause. "It's the mobster life I want!"

Sonic slapped his forehead until his quills punctured the back of the seat.

"That's partial destruction of a police officer's vehicle!" snorted the cop. "You mobsters aren't getting nowhere!"

"Well, thanks, Knuckles, now His Glazed Highness thinks you're the big Don of the city!" Sonic roared angrily. There commenced a small fight.

They were lugged off to jail. "You can stay here until the trial," the policeman told them. "You get one phone call each."

Sonic made for it first. "I know what to do." He dialed in a number.

"Who are you calling?" asked Knuckles.

"Hello, Rita's Bar and Grill? Yes, I'd like 1200 chilidogs, delivered to the penitentiary… yes, put the check wink wink in the 789th one, yes, that's it. I'll write you the check, payable to the jail… pleasure. Goodbye."

Knuckles exploded with anger. "You idiot! We've wasted half of our opportunity to escape on chilidogs!"

"These are special," Sonic told him. "We'll be sure to get out with these! You see, the check is actually a detonator. When we activate it, the jail will explode!"

"Yes, but that doesn't get us free!" Knuckles roared.

Sonic turned purple. "Well, thanks for pointing out the flaw, Knux man."

"Well, what's the alternative, us DYING?" screamed Knuckles. "You fool! I'm going to use my phone call on something productive." He stomped toward the phone and made a call.

"Can you get us out of here?" asked Knuckles into the phone. "I don't feel good, that's why. Well, can you bring me my chap stick?" Brief pause. "But my lips hurt real bad!"

"AMY!" screamed Sonic into the receiver. "Stop forcing Knuckles into your Napoleon Dynamite adventures and come bail us out!"

"She says she'll have trouble raising the money," said Knuckles.

"Well, she better raise it!" said Sonic threateningly. "It can't be more than a couple hundred!"

"She hung up," said Knuckles worriedly.

There was a brief silence, followed by steam slowly trickling from Sonic's ears.

"This doesn't seem that great, does it?" asked Knuckles.

"Doesn't seem that- NO!" barked Sonic. "Now, thanks to you, we go to the trial, almost certainly lose, and spend the rest of our natural lives in prison!"

"What about your great chilidog plan? Did that fall through?" asked Knuckles snidely.

The doorbell rang. Sonic went to the window, where a deliveryman was standing. Knuckles gritted his teeth.

"Here you go," said the guy, handing them a box the size of Kentucky and leaving.

Sonic ate all the chilidogs in .7 seconds, spat out the detonator, and jumped out the window, pulling Knuckles with him. The jail exploded behind them. They flew across the street and landed in another building.

The other building was a jail.

"CURSES!" bellowed Sonic at the top of his lungs. "How is that even possible?"

"Your trial is now," said a guard, coming into the room.

Seconds later, Sonic and Knuckles were in the courtroom. On the prosecution side were the police. On the defending side were Sonic, Knuckles, and their lawyer, Tails.

"I didn't know you had a degree in law," whispered Knuckles.

"Oh, that's easy! With my latest Forge-A-Law-Degree-For-Tails-the-Fox-3000, it's simple!" beamed Tails.

"…You have too much free time."

"All rise for the arrival of the judge," said a guy.

Wearing a long white wig, judge's robes, and carrying a small gavel was Eggman.

"Eggman!" bellowed Sonic. He jumped out of the seat and toward the judge's chair. "You're a criminal! You can't be a judge! You're too biased! And this jury! They're all your robots!"

"What are you talking about? I'm Judge Gilbert!" said Eggman in a poorly chosen fake accent. "And the jury is not robots! They just look that way!"

"Affirmative," chorused the jury in strangely mechanical voices.

"Judge Gilbert my eye!" shouted Knuckles, also getting up.

"I'm holding both of you in contempt of court! 7,000 ring fine!" announced Eggman. "What is today's case?"

"These criminals," began the police officer.

"Objection!" shouted Tails. "A biased opinion! Your Dishonorably Stupidness," he said to Eggman, "my clients are accused of disturbing the peace, destruction of property and such things! They would never! My clients are reasonable and- OBJECTION!" he bellowed at an audience member. "Sneezing out of turn!"

"I say they're guilty!" Eggman said. "Next case!"

"Hold on!" shouted Tails. "First we need to swear in, we need the witnesses, and we need the jury to reach a verdict!"

"Affirmative," the jury said.

"So," said Eggman, "do you swear to tell the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but what sounds like the truth to me?"

"Possibly/no/yes/why not/sure/maybe/your mom," responded the various people.

Eggman hit them each over the head with a Bible. "The prosecution must present their case."

"Your Honor," said the police, "you should know from the six bribes- er, donations that you received this morning that we're very responsible people. So responsible, in fact, that we have every right to accuse Sonic the Hedgehog and Knuckles the Echidna of-"

"OBJECTION!" roared Tails. "Not properly specifying the charges!"

"I was going to," snarled the cop. "They are charged with destruction and so on and so forth. May I say, Your Honor, how splendid you're looking this morning?"

"Thank you," said Eggman modestly. "I work out a lot."

Sonic snorted. "Objection! Claiming that the judge looks splendid! Double objection! Claiming that the judge works out!"

"Overruled," said Eggman. "Now, defendants, please state the reason you're guilty."

"My clients are not guilty," said Tails firmly. "Both are known for their heroic deeds. Who could imprison people like this? Your Honor, if anyone should go to jail, it's that fatty in the back row."

"Objection! Claiming the judge is honorable!" Knuckles yelled.

"Objection! Objecting to your own lawyer!" yelled Sonic.

"Objection! Claiming I am objecting!"

"Objection! You were!"

"Objection! Wasn't!"

"Objection! Was!"

"Wasn't!"

"Was!"

"Wasn't!"

"Objection! Not objecting twice in a row!" yelled Sonic. "Double objection! Not bringing Scrabble to jail!"

"ENOUGH!" bellowed Tails. "Your Honor, these furries are completely innocent. In fact, I was planning to build them a cake saying INNOCENT on it this evening. That is all." Tails subtly pressed a button, and the jury box exploded.

"Well, it looks like we need a new jury," he said to the furious Eggman.

"Not to worry," said Eggman angrily. Another wave of robots was placed down, like bowling pins after a bowling ball has knocked another set down.

"Guilty!" they chorused.

"Hah! Guilty!" said Eggman. Sonic and Knuckles hung their heads. "Therefore, the proper punishment is… a 3-ring fine?" His hands shook with rage. "Well, then, pay your 7,003 rings to me!" he said.

Tails somehow converted his law degree into a pile of gold dust and gave it to Eggman, along with a bowl full of pepper.

"Pepper?" asked Eggman. "I didn't want any-" He sneezed, and the gold dust was blown everywhere.

"Oh well, good luck finding it," said Tails, while Sonic and Knuckles vacuumed it all up and put it in a paper bag in the space of three seconds. They walked out, holding the paper bag.

Eggman's screams were loud and long.

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Sorry for the shortness of that chapter, I just thought it was a good place to end it.