ANGST DRABBLE #2

Prompt: Puck dies in an accident while driving to school. After school, he was supposed to pick up his sister Sarah from school. Knowing about the accident, the district buses Sarah to the high school. In Glee, the rest of the club is mourning Puck, when Sarah comes in, to be taken home by Finn, since the Hudsons are on the Puckermans' emergency contacts. To everyone's surprise, even Finn's, Sarah immediately latches onto Mercedes. When Puck and Mercedes had briefly dated, the two had bonded.

Disclaimer: I OWN ABSOLUTELY NOTHING, NOT EVEN THE IDEA BEHIND THE DRABBLES. But, I wish I owned Puck, Mercedes, Tina, Mike, Brittany and Artie.

It's weird for Noah, yes he calls himself Noah he figures it doesn't matter who he is anymore after all he is dead. And because he's dead he finds it ridiculously weird and way too science fiction that he isn't in some great beyond. Don't get him wrong there is one, in his short time, meaning 5 days, as a ghost he's seen some people get there he's just not one of them. One person he met told him that some people who die traumatic deaths don't always move on because they don't fully accept that they are dead. Noah knows he's gone, but does he accept it? No, hell no, how can he accept that he isn't anything anymore, no one can see him or hear him, he's just there. Man, if the guy who caused this mess was still alive Noah would kill him, it's his entire fault. There Noah was driving to Sarah's school after a surprisingly really productive Glee meeting. He had the green light then all of a sudden this eighteen wheeler slams into his car, on the driver's side, he didn't die right away, he died twice in the ambulance, he made it to the hospital, he saw his family one last time, his whole family, all the girls were crying even Santana, and the boys put up a good front but ultimately Artie broke first then it was a bunch of waterworks, he knew he was gonna go, he died in surgery and since that happen he's been wandering around Lima and sometimes he goes to Westerville to see Kurt, everyone is a mess and a part of him is a little flattered but mostly he's hurt seeing everyone he loves hurt, especially Sarah, he goes to her room at night and after a while she stops crying almost like she knows he's there, and she falls asleep mumbling his name occasionally.

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Sarah Puckerman was sad. She had a right to be, her big brother was gone. And it was all her fault. She may only be eight and half years old but she still heard her Mother and Nona talking in the kitchen, even though Noah told her eavesdropping was wrong. They were talking about how Noah was on his way to pick her up from school when some guy hit Noah's truck and 8 other cars, it caused a major pile up, she was a curious girl and Noah was really smart and he always taught her new things so she got on the computer and went on Google images and looked up pile ups like Noah taught her, they reminded her of how Gary Karofsky built his cars on top of each other during playtime except it was real and her brother had been in one of those. Her Nona being the soft, warm hearted grandma she was didn't wanna explain to Sarah what death meant but she didn't know Noah already did, and she knew that he was never coming back, she didn't care if he was with the angels, she didn't want him to be with the angels she wanted him with her. Sarah picked up her suitcase, she was staying with Nona for a while, her mom was acting really weird and Nona said that Sarah needed a place with stapility (stability), Sarah wasn't really sad about moving her Mom didn't really treat Noah all that good anyway.

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Mercedes Jones felt stupid she had been crying rivers and streams since she found out about Puck's death. She didn't know why, sure they had something once upon a time and they were classified as friends but they didn't really interact all that much. But here she sat, crying again while she got dressed for his funeral, she didn't want to wear all black, and Puck had told her he like her in purple so she wore a purple silk cocktail dress with a black cardigan and black pumps. Her parents were away again, they'd been doing that a lot lately for some reason, she could see the cracks in their marriage growing under the surface and she had no idea whether to cry or be angry at them neglecting her because of it. She was the baby so she was alone; she was harboring so many feelings over the past few months. Her parents lack of attention to her, Quinn ditching her, Kurt doing the same and choosing Rachel over her, the whole tots situation where he basically once again left her hanging when she was having body image issues and he couldn't bring himself to just say the words that would comfort her and if it wasn't Rachel it was Blaine, sure she had Tina, Mike, Brittany and Artie but they were more wrapped up in their respective relationships, Finn had his Rachel/Quinn drama, Santana was wrapped up in the person she was having sex with that week and phone calls with Matt and her brothers could only help her with the lack of human contact for so long. She and Puck had barely communicated, true, but that didn't mean they didn't have something, they could sit in silence together and take comfort in that, it wasn't much but it was the human contact she'd been missing and then he died and it was like a dam broke, the levees that kept her emotion at bay completely fell apart and her insides felt like there was a category 6 hurricane raging in her. She reapplied her make up for the third time, waterproof everything, and when she heard the beeping outside quickly grabbed her purse and ran out to meet Tina, Mike, Artie and Brittany in Artie's dad's minivan.

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At his funeral, Noah Puckerman cries. Call it shallow or whatever but he does cry, or whatever it is the ghost equivalent of crying is. He sits on the grass at his Nona's feet; he's never seen the strong woman cry more in his short time of living. They bring in his casket, it's closed, he's surprised at the amount of people there even Matt flew back from Detroit to be there. He had his wake in his temple, and the burial was at the graveyard, the only one in Lima. He watched as person after person went up and said whatever they needed to, Finn did the eulogy. He took time to survey the guests, his sister was sitting with his Nona, they were both clutching each other desperately it broke his heart, he looked over to the other row in the front seat his mom and unbelievably his dad was there. Even more unbelievable his dad was crying silently and his mom… wasn't. The man who walked out on them for whatever reason was sitting there crying in earnest and the woman who raised him was just sitting there stoically, staring forward unseeingly. Some might say it was a coping mechanism but his mother wasn't the 'suffer in silence' type at all, did she not care? Looking over the crowd he spotted Mr. Schue and Ms. Pillsbury both crying, Santana and Quinn was sitting together holding hands both crying, Finn was sobbing loudly, his mom trying to comfort him but to no avail usually Noah would comment that Finn looked like a pussy crying like a little girl like, Sarah, because really Finn was his brother every much as bit Sarah was his sister and they shared the same pain, he was at least happy to see that everything that happened last year didn't affect the unspoken love between the two, closer to the back was Kurt, Mercedes, Brittany, Artie, Rachel, Tina and Mike. They were all crying even Rachel, Kurt and Tina had tears slowly streaming down their faces even after everything he'd down to them well except for Mercedes, the tears were evident in her eyes but she didn't let them fall, he could see the struggle but she was winning so far, he definitely wasn't. He tried, boy did he, but then Sarah got up to speak and he stopped trying, it was pointless.

Sarah Puckerman tried not to cry at her brother's funeral, but she couldn't help it. The casket was closed, not like at the wake where she could see him and he just looked like he was sleeping, peaceful and warm like the nights where the thunder and lightening scares her and he holds her while she sleeps, when she touched he was cold, it wasn't right he was always a warm place for Sarah. At the wake they took her away because she was crying too much but now she had something to say, she walked up to the stage on wobbly legs. She stared at the picture of her brother for awhile, and then took out the paper where she'd written about her brother. She sniffled,

"Hi." Her words echoed from the microphone, she was scared she looked towards her Nona who smiled encouragingly through her tears, but her eyes were drawn downwards, the spot by her Nona's feet made her feel all fuzzy and warm inside, she took a deep breath

"Hi," she said again

"My name is Sarah Puckerman, and my big brother is Noah Puckerman, and he's the—", she stopped when she was choked up with sobs, people's hearts melted at the sight, her Nona quickly came to her aid taking the paper, and hugging her.

"Want me to read it for you?" she asked, Sarah nodded, hugging her Nona's legs

"Um, Sarah wrote. 'Hi, my name is Sarah Puckerman, and my big brother is Noah Puckerman and he's the bestest big brother in the whole wide universe. He's taught me lots and lots of things like how to tie my shoelaces, and how to spell big words like '' and to skip rocks in lakes and punch the bullies in the playground when they pull my hair. But my brother is gone now and that makes me sad, because I love Noah more than anything else in the whole world, even my favoritest teddy bear and dolls. I know he died because of me, and I wish that if he can hear me that he knows how sorry I am, and that I wish it were me instead of him because the world needs more strong Noahs like him and not little weak Sarah's like me. But I hope that Noah is in heaven with god and that he can watch over me forever and ever until I can be with him again. I love you Noah, from Sarahbear.'"

When Sarah looked up she could see her mom rocking back and forth with her eyes closed, she was humming, she'd been doing weird things like that lately, more people was crying. Her Nona walked her off stage, she wasn't crying anymore but she was still sad.

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Mercedes Jones, to her surprise, did not cry at Puck's funeral. She thought it was because she was all out of tears, but then she realized that she wanted to commemorate him, and Puck was the strongest person she knew. She'd only seen him cry once, when Beth was gone, but otherwise he was like a rock he didn't let things faze him, he looked things head on in and didn't take crap from anyone. How could she cry at his funeral and soil her memory of him, she wanted to remember the Puck who had been happy and playing his guitar in Glee, the footballer who went against his own teammates to protect his geeks friends, the guy who serenaded her with Sinatra not the guy who was rolled into the emergency room a mess of blood and wires whose heart wasn't beating, the guy who was completely covered in bruises and cuts and gashes his final hours with the people he loved barely strong enough to keep his eyes opened while talking, not the guy who died on a cold operating table, with strangers around and his torso cut open, she couldn't remember that guy because then there'd be no end in sight to her sorrow. They called her and Santana up, they were both outspoken people but they both couldn't deal with vocalizing their feelings on this particular matter so instead they decided to sing it, with Kurt accompanying on piano they poured all the emotion they'd been feeling for the couple few days into the song and hoped wherever he was he heard them,

Mercedes, Santana, Both

I always needed time on my own
I never thought I'd need you there when I cry
And the days feel like years when I'm alone
And the bed where you lie is made up on your side

When you walk away I count the steps that you take
Do you see how much I need you right now?

When you're gone
The pieces of my heart are missing you
When you're gone
The face I came to know is missing too

When you're gone
The words I need to hear to always get me through
The day and make it ok
I miss you

I've never felt this way before
Everything that I do reminds me of you
And the clothes you left, they lie on the floor
And they smell just like you, I love the things that you do

When you walk away I count the steps that you take
Do you see how much I need you right now?

When you're gone
The pieces of my heart are missing you
And when you're gone
The face I came to know is missing too

And when you're gone
The words I need to hear to always get me through
The day and make it ok
I miss you

We were made for each other
Out here forever
I know we were, yeah

And all I ever wanted was for you to know
Everything I'd do, I'd give my heart and soul
I can hardly breathe I need to feel you here with me, yeah

When you're gone
The pieces of my heart are missing you
And when you're gone
The face I came to know is missing too

And when you're gone
All the words I need to hear will always get me through
The day and make it ok
I miss you

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It was approximately a week after his burial, he didn't know for sure it was kinda hard to tell time when you're ghost. His was still kinda bitter about that, sue him, he was dead he had forever to be angry about it. He mostly hung out at his Nona's house and the choir room sometimes he would visit Finn and the other gleeks; it was weird just watching people go through the grieving process, grieving him. He found out why his father was there, he had cancer he was dying and he wanted to reconnect with his children, too bad pops was too late. Noah liked being in the choir room, it was a sense of familiarity and warmth like the bad stuff outside couldn't get in, he liked jamming with Brad and the band, of course they didn't see or hear him singing and playing his guitar, which they never really noticed him picking up, because you know, ghost, no contact with the living people in his limbo, he still saw other ghosts going on to the 'other side' and was kinda envious but he liked being here liked watching, observing what he didn't before. Finn and Quinn came back first saying how they knew he wouldn't want them sulking at home any longer, they were right. That next day, Rachel and Kurt (who transferred back) made their appearance and so did Sarah, apparently the school was busing her to the high school for Finn to take home, Finn mostly left her with Ms. Pillsbury until glee or football was done, she didn't want to be in the choir room, she'd start crying and no one could comfort her. Santana, Rachel and Tina showed, Mike wasn't ready yet. Then Mike and Brittany, Artie still couldn't yet, then he showed but Mercedes, didn't. The day Artie came was the first time since Noah's death Sarah smiled, Ms. Pillsbury was busy so she left Sarah with Ms. Sylvester and she made Sarah an honorary Cheerio, she got a uniform and everything and a bullhorn and clipboard with paper like Becky did with an earpiece, it was fun. The day Mercedes came back Sarah was at her worst, she had to be taken to the choir room and cried the whole time, everyone was uncomfortable Finn tried his hardest but she wouldn't stop. That is until Mercedes came.

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Mercedes knew she was the last one to come back to school, and it was kinda embarrassing. She wasn't his best friend or even on the same level as an ex-girlfriend as Quinn or Santana or even Rachel, yet she just had to take extra mental health days. She had the excuse that the other kids had their parents and she didn't at home, she was alone crying to an empty house with no one to hug her and tell her it'd be better in time, music was her only comfort, sure Tina and Brittany made daily visits but there was only so long she could cry with them before they started to put their life back together, only so long she could crash at Rachel's house before her and her dad's got suspicious and she really didn't want to have that conversation. As she neared the choir room she could her gut wrenching sobs, and ear shattering wails coming from there, she briefly considered turning around and going back home, but her curiosity got the better of her and she ventured into the unknown. When she got there she could see the boys looking flustered and helpless, while the girls tried to quell a very distraught Sarah Puckerman, she'd of course been acquainted with the girl while dating Puck. She'd always whisper to her how she liked her better than Quinn who always yelled at 'her Noah' and calling him stupid when he was really smart. The little girl with her waist long brown hair, her pink floral dress and shoes, her red face hot with tears falling. Mercedes had barely thought of her, she'd been so delved into her own grief she barely thought of the little girl who couldn't even finish her heart felt speech due to her tears, the girl who blamed herself for her big brother's death. If there was one thing Mercedes knew, it was that if there was one girl who owned Puck's heart, it was Sarah, she could tell he would take a bullet for her, die a million times over, she felt sorrow for the girl and tears welled up. She slowly enter the room and was surprised when the little girl dashed away from the girls and bolted for the door, Mercedes thought she was making a break for it, but she didn't expect her to hug Mercedes legs with all her might. Mercedes was in shock, the room was silent except for Sarah's cries. After shaking for her shock, Mercedes tried to pry the girl off but she wouldn't let go, eventually Finn intervened forcibly removing Sarah, she started kicking and wailing,

"No let me go, none of you understand but Mercedes does get off." She cried even louder and Mercedes felt so bad all Sarah wanted was comfort, from Mercedes in particular. Everyone looked really shocked and uncomfortable,

"Ugh, look Finn we aren't gonna get anything done if Sarah doesn't stop screaming for bloody murder so just give her to Mercedes." Rachel said exasperated and obviously annoyed with their lack of progress during the meeting. Finn looked unsure

"Finn it's okay. Come on Sarah." Mercedes said holding out her arms, the girl immediately hopped into her waiting arms and latched her arms around her neck and her legs around her waist; she cuddled into her neck and not too long after her sobs died down, she was visited by the sandman.

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Sarah didn't want to be in the school's choir room, Ms. Pillsbury couldn't watch her, and Ms. Sylvester wasn't here so her only option was the choir room. She knew Noah loved it and that's why she didn't want to be there, the guitar would've reminded her of him. Finn, Noah's best friend, dragged her while she clawed at walls trying not to go. As soon as he brought her there she began wailing, she recognized some people there, she calmed a little when Noah's friend Artie held her in his lap, but then Quinn took her away and she began wailing again. She knew Quinn and Rachel but she didn't really like them, they weren't really nice to Puck, Santana wasn't all the time but she liked her and Brittany but then they left her alone with Quinn and Rachel and some other people she didn't know. She was wondering where Mercedes was, she was her friend and Noah liked her and she was always nice to Noah and her too. She brought by stuff for Sarah, like pretty pink nail polish and showed her how to put it on, and some new dolls for her tea party set and showed proper tea party etiquette. Sarah hadn't seen Mercedes in a long time but she knew she would understand what she was going through, she always understood Sarah better than Noah's other girlfriends. Through her tears Sarah could see Mercedes amble in she stood up and pushed Quinn and Rachel out of the way and ran to her hugging her. Mercedes didn't hug her back and then Finn was pulling her away, she started hitting him. She didn't mean it she liked Finn, he was like a dumber, less hostile version of Noah, and they could have really heated conversations together but she wanted Mercedes. The girl, Rachel, said something and then Mercedes was holding her arms out for Sarah, it was like as soon as she was in those arms everything was warm and right and she couldn't help but melt when she was there eventually she settled down and the meeting proceeded as scheduled while Sarah dozed off in Mercedes' arms.

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Noah was shocked to say the least. He didn't expect Sarah to latch onto Mercedes like that. Then again it's been two weeks since he died he thought it'd be a little better for her, it felt like a forever ago that he died for him but he guessed it was less time for her, he heard her screaming down the hall and giving trouble, when he poked his head out Finn was wrestling with her to let some chick's open locker go as soon as he brought her in she started sobbing, crying. She was inconsolable there were little periods where she calmed down, when she was with Artie and then when she was with Santana and Brittany but after that she just kept wailing everyone was getting increasingly uncomfortable but they probably didn't wanna bother his mom wherever the hell she was or his exhausted Nona. But then Mercedes walked in, and to Sarah she was like an angel sent from above, when she was taken away she started screaming about how Mercedes understood. His Sarahbear didn't know just how right she was, Mercedes always had understood him he always thought he had time when they would sit at lunch in comfortable silence occasionally making small talk he always thought there'd be more time for him to ask her out or something. Then he died. He watched his little sister slumber, the most peaceful sleep she'd had in a long time. Sarah had bonded with Mercedes on a different level when they dated that one week, more than she bonded Quinn who was living with them. He and Mercedes really worked, she had him set straight, well practically, she didn't back down and she sure wasn't letting Santana run her away, he would've been happy with her, he could've married her and had kids with her and died way later than he did, but he would watch over her and Sarah and everyone in glee club and make sure they were happy. And he did.

Cheesy ending but I think this one was better than the last