Sonic Insanity
Yo, yo, yo, time for another chapter! Please review!
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"Sonic!"
The blue hedgehog was in the kitchen, basting a turkey.
"Sonic!" There was a bunch of thudding noises. Knuckles came trotting into the kitchen. Sonic ignored him. He needed practice for Thanksgiving… even though that was about a week ago.
"SONIC!" Knuckles pulled out a gun and shot about six clips. Sonic screeched and dodged, the turkey getting blown to shreds.
"What was that for?" snarled our favorite blue fur-ball.
"…I'm locked in my room."
"You destroy my turkey and part of my kitchen for that?" asked Sonic, disgusted. "You're standing here talking to me."
"Oh yeah…" The red echidna zoomed up the stairs. "Sonic! I'm trapped in my room!"
Sighing, Sonic made his way up the stairs. What did he ever do to deserve such an inconsiderate guest? Even Tails and Shadow weren't this bad. Sonic tried to open the door, but it was jammed tight. Sonic began to undo the many padlocks covering the front of the door. But it wouldn't open.
"Knuckles!" roared Sonic. "What are these chains made of?"
"Diamond coated with Teflon," said Knuckles, sounding gleeful.
Sonic's head almost exploded. So that was where his diamond thug jewelry had gone! And his pots and pans! Knuckles must have melted them down to make chains and intentionally lock himself in… Trying not to burst out of his skin in rage, Sonic whistled. A battering ram hurtled down from the ceiling and smashed into the door. The battering ram collapsed like a beer can in Big's iron grip.
Sonic took out a laser cutter and severed the chains and everything else. But it still wouldn't open. It seemed to be budging, though…
"Hurry up!" said Knuckles, who seemed suspiciously close to the other side of the door…
Sonic pushed the door in, sending it off its hinges. Knuckles had been holding it shut on the other side.
"What was that all about?" screamed Sonic as loudly as he could.
"Chicken and waffles," Knuckles replied.
"Chicken and… don't give me that! In addition to everything you've already done, you blow up the turkey, you waste all my jewelry and cooking objects, and then you waste my time on THIS!" Sonic kicked the door. It curled up in the corner and began to whine like a small dog. "I wouldn't be surprised if in a week, you've destroyed everything I've ever owned!"
"A week! Blast, I'm behind schedule," Knuckles moaned.
"Sonic! Your bedroom's coated in cottage cheese!" yelled Tails.
Sonic began to shoot thick jets of steam through his ears. He picked up Knuckles in a chokehold and lifted him off the floor. "That does it! You are not setting foot, paw, hand, tongue or anything you could use to balance your body weight on… like a bicycle or a helicopter… in this house again until you find the Master Emerald and reconstruct your home on Angel Island!"
"Never!" gasped Knuckles.
Sonic was desperate. "Come on! I'll help you look for it!"
"No! Too much work!"
"Pie curse," said Sonic quietly.
"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" howled Knuckles through his rapidly constricting throat. "I'll do anything, anything!" He began to cringe and whimper, making a fine duet with the door. They later went on tour as the Traveling Echidna and Possessed Door That Wail Til The Cows Come Home, but that's another story. They even recorded an album.
"Fine! But first, to find the Master Emerald!" said Sonic proudly.
THE LORD OF THE EMERALDS: THE FELLOWSHIP OF THE INVOLUNTARILY CHOSEN FURRY CREATURES
"The Master Emerald must be taken to the fires of Twinkie Park, only there can it be destroyed," said Rouge, pointing at a large diagram.
"But… but… we're trying to find it, not destroy it," said Sonic. Rouge hit him with a measuring stick.
"So we shall be the Fellowship," said Big, dressed in wizards' clothing.
So they re-enacted the entire saga, up until Sonic and Knuckles reached the land of Mold-Door where the Shadows lie… well, when they're not standing up, that is. They neared the fires of Twinkie Park, and Knuckles prepared to drop it in.
Suddenly, Knuckles realized what was going on, but by then it was too late. The Emerald tumbled into the magma-filled chasm… and was rescued by Omochao.
"My hero!" cried Amy, Cream, Tikal and Rouge. There were instantly many parades and…
Sonic woke up. Knuckles was packing his bags.
"Tails, it's been nice hanging. Shadow, same. Sonic…" He bent before the waking hedgehog. "Aw, man… I wish I could make up for everything I did. The vandalism… the pranks… the insults… everything. Just want you to know… I'm sorry." Looking sad, he began to move out.
"No!" cried Sonic. He began to run in slow-motion after the echidna, while the typical music played. Knuckles turned around and began to run toward the hedgehog. They embraced.
"Man, I couldn't just let you go," said Sonic, ruffling Knuckles' dreadlocks. "We're supposed to be a team!"
"Yeah, man," said Knux, eyes shining with a combination of happy tears, sad tears, and onion-induced tears. An onion smacked him across the face, but he paid no attention. "And I'll treat you much better!"
"I will too," said Sonic. "Why don't we make a Contract of Friendship?" Somehow making a contract out of onion peels that Shadow was throwing, he offered a pen to Knuckles. The echidna signed it, and so did Sonic.
"Good! Now we're true friends!" said Knuckles.
"Yes, but take a closer look at your contractual obligations," said Sonic smugly.
Knuckles began to read, getting angrier and angrier. Lawn mowing duty… grocery shopping trips… frozen maple-syrup block igloo making duty… what? He began to get more and more annoyed, his face turning very red, until finally he brightened. "Ah, but there's one small point you missed…" As an onion struck Sonic across the face, he pointed at a small note in fine print. "No task must be carried out by either participant if either one is hit in the face within 1 hour of the other making this contract." He grinned. "Sorry."
Sonic began to howl in anger and rage.
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Reviekadonasaurus. Yeah, you thought I was gonna say 'review,' huh? Well, that too.