Oh dear. I didn't do very well with updating quickly, did I? Sorry about that. Not sure if I really like this chapter...well, I hope you do. And thanks so much for all of your reviews! I was really glad to hear that some of you are really starting to care about the non-jkrowling characters. sorry about killing them off...:o)

(james-s2-lily: I actually really like Snape now. I've started writing another story called 'A snake can't change its stripes' which starts out LilySnape. hehe. guessing you don't like him much tho? shame... An Aspiring Author: Thanks for the review! I'm actually quite surprised you find her a really strong character. I think I've actually made her quite cowardly lately, maybe not in the fighting, but when it comes to James, perhaps. kittyluvr: Thanks for revieiwing and sticking with me. Sorry it took so long. )

Righto, well next chapter will involve the third defiance of Voldemort, and Snape will make an appearance (yay). And hopefully will be going into Remus' thoughts a bit. Good good, well enjoy!

James did not sleep well over the next week. Death stalked his thoughts and haunted his dreams, and everywhere he turned he saw grief and heartache. Funeral after funeral, service after service, James found himself counting those who had died, those who would never walk again, never talk again, never think again. It was just too much.

And now Lily had gone too. In fact, most of the Order had left James' house, and it was strangely quiet. Sirius was still there – walking around moodily and kicking things. His presence didn't exactly lighten James' disposition much. And Sally was there too. As guilty as James felt about it, he tried as hard as possible to avoid her. They hadn't spoken again about a paternity test, but James got the feeling he'd deeply insulted her by asking for one.

A week after Lily's departure, James received a letter from her. A brown barn owl brought it early one autumn morning, when the weather had just turned cold enough to merit a jacket. James was sipping tea at his kitchen table when he noticed the familiar neat handwriting, and ripped the envelope open at once. A letter fell out and he hurried to unfold it.

Dear James,

Sorry about my rather hasty departure. I really needed to get away after the funeral. I'm sure you understand. A lot of things were running through my head – well, maybe you wouldn't understand that

James stared at the little smiley face and grinned. It was as if the letter had come from a time long ago – a time when Lily still laughed, joked, and teased James.

Ellie's death made me realise a few things. Like how selfish I've been, I suppose. I don't know, maybe this will sound stupid, but the one thing Eleanor wanted was a fairytale ending; to fall in love and live happily ever after. Well, I don't know about happily ever after. I don't even know how long that will be, but I'm pretty sure I've found the love of my life.

And this isn't me thinking we could die tomorrow so I need to live now. This is me finally realising that I have no reasons not to be with you, and about a million why I should, including the fact that I love you.

So there it is. I hope you haven't fallen head over heels in love with Sally while I've been gone. And I don't care if she is carrying your child, she's horrible and she can't have you.

Anyway, I want to see you soon, but now that I've come home, my mother's determined not to let me leave for a long time. Well, until my sister's wedding anyway. It's in a few weeks, and I'd love it if you could come. Mum said I could bring a guest. Petunia won't like it, but hopefully she'll be distracted by the whole getting married thing. Don't worry about a present. I'll get one. What do you think about a cursed hat?

See you soon I hope!

Lots of love,

Lily xxx

James reread the letter, his eyebrows raised. Lily sounded positively cheerful. Was this letter actually from her? Lily had been sad ever since her father died almost a year ago. No, maybe sad wasn't the right word. Scared. Angry. Afraid of another death. Lily's best friend had just died, yet she sounded upbeat and happy. Maybe she'd needed another death to pull her out of the fear, to help her escape.

Grabbing a scrap of parchment and quill off of the table, James scribbled, Sounds like fun. I'll be the one in the pink tux – you can't miss me. Love you, James, and sent the reply with the barn owl, a small smile playing on his lips, his brow creased in thought.

---

Lily gazed thoughtfully around her room, fingering the thin stem of her champagne glass. It was only ten o'clock in the morning, and the champagne had been flowing since nine. Perhaps she'd had too much already – Lily closed her eyes tightly and reopened them. Nope. They were still all there.

"Wow, that's a lot of flowers," a voice drawled from behind her.

Lily spun around and grinned at the tall boy framed in her doorway. "I can't tell you how relieved I am you're not wearing a pink suit."

"Well, I'd like to go to more than one wedding in my lifetime, and I thought your sister would probably kill me if I didn't look like a respectable muggle."

Lily turned away, feeling a blush creep into her cheeks. It wasn't as though she'd never dreamt about marrying James. But it had always been that – a dream. Yet James spoke as though it was a definite.

"So," James said, picking his way through her room, and sitting down on her bed. "The flowers?" he gestured around the room, where huge white flowers sat on every available surface.

"They ran out of white roses down at the flower shop. So the florist brought lilies. I think it was mum's idea, actually. Anyway, Petunia threw a wobbly and refused point blank to have any lilies at her wedding. She said they were the flower of death and would bring nothing but bad luck."

"Sounds like a lovely girl," James grinned. "'Flower of death'? That's a bit dramatic isn't it?"

Lily smiled back. "So why are you here so early?"

"To spend time with you of course." He patted the duvet beside him. "Sit. So, tell me, how are the Muggles dealing with the Prime Minister's death?"

"They think it was a heart attack. No one really liked him that much anyway, so they're not too bothered, to be honest. I think if the Prime Minister, the Queen, and a couple of hundred Muggles had all died on the same night, though, people would be a bit more worried." Lily put down her glass. "So, how's Sally?"

Shrugging, James said, "No idea. Haven't seen much of her lately. She's not very happy with me."

"I feel bad," Lily admitted, looking down at her clasped hands.

"Why?"

"She's in love with you. I know how that feels."

James cupped her face in a warm hand. "Really?"

"Yeah, it's awful."

He laughed and she kissed him sweetly. They broke apart and James traced her cheek with a thumb. "You alright?" he asked, his voice nothing more than a deep rumble.

"I miss her so much, it actually hurts. I just want her back." A tear spilled out of her eye and snaked down her cheek.

"I know," he whispered, drawing her into his chest and stroking her hair gently. "I know how that feels."

"It's going to happen again and again."

James nodded against her head.

"What do we do?"

He thought for a moment, then shrugged gently. "We live for them."

Sighing, Lily reached up and gently stroked his lips and brushed away a lock of hair. "You're lovely," she murmured, earning a laugh from him. "Want to meet my mother?"

"I think I already did. Peroxide blonde. Looked very harried."

"Possible…"

"Told me to comb my hair."

"Yep, that was her." Lily grinned. "I could introduce you as my boyfriend." Smiling sadly, Lily added, "Who knows, maybe you could get her to like me."

"She may not show it, Lily, but she's your mother. She does love you."

Lily said nothing. She pulled her legs up to her chest and rested her chin on her knees.

"So. I'm your boyfriend?"

She shrugged. "I have no idea what we are, James. I'm not sure I'll ever know."

"Marry me."

Lily's head snapped up so fast, she was sure she'd done permanent damage. "What did you say?"

"I want you to marry me."

"But -"

"No, Lils, listen. Our relationship, whatever this is, it's infuriating. I love you more than physically possible. I always have. Ever since the first insult." He grinned. "But you keep running away." She opened her mouth to protest but he pushed on. "No, listen. I don't blame you, half the time. And with this whole Sally thing, I'm surprised you didn't run all the way to the South Pole. I would have understood if you did. But the thing is, I want you. I always have and I always will, so just say you'll marry me, so you can stop running and I can stop trying to find you. Just let this happen."

"I don't know whether to be insulted or not. I didn't come off very well in that speech." She bit her lip thoughtfully. "But you're right. I do run when things get tough. The thing is, you've never actually done anything wrong. It's just me. This is who I am. And this war…it brings out the best in some people, but it's certainly brought out the worst in me."

"No, Lil-"

"But the thing is," Lily interrupted, not wanting to stop now she'd started. "I've been so afraid for so long. But, I don't know, when Ellie died, the fear just went. I don't know why." She shook her head and looked into his eyes, so intent on her. "What I'm trying to say is, I'm not afraid of you – of us – anymore. You could have fifty pregnant girls show up, claiming your paternity, everyone I know could die, Sirius can claim his undying love to you, and I'll still be here. I promise. No running this time."

Slipping an arm around her waist, James moved closer to her. "So are you accepting?"

A look of surprise came over Lily's face, as though she'd forgotten his proposal. "Oh, James, I don't kn-"

"Lily, you are so frustrating!" he cried, getting to his feet and gazing at her in wonderment. "You just make a speech about how you'll never leave me, and yet -" he broke off, catching the grin on her face. "You're…you're joking?" he asked tentatively.

She laughed and launched herself off of the bed, flying into his arms. "Of course I'm joking you pillock. Obviously I'll marry you."

James chuckled weakly, and fell backwards over a huge vase of flowers before crashing into the wall. "Ow," he moaned weakly, but was quickly distracted, as Lily wrapped her arms around his neck and kissed him so passionately, so desperately, that he was left weak in the knees.

Hope you liked. I'd really love your feedback about this chapter, because I was a bit meh about it. Will really really try to update soon!! xx