"James, wait … NO!" I screeched as I woke from the horrific dream playing out before me. Kendall jumped and saw my face wet with sweat as I sat up and panted.
"Logie, are you okay," he said caringly, wrapping his strong arms around my waist.
"I … Are you okay?" I said, whimpering in the process.
"Yeah, but it's you I'm worried about," he sat up, slinging his arm around my shoulders and pulling me closer, "You're a wreck. Sweating and moaning and crying; it's like a bad version of sex." He tried to make me laugh with that one, but as soon as it fell flat he just started to rock me side to side.
"Just don't leave me, okay," I responded quietly, "it scares me to be alone."We started to lay back down when Kendall got an idea and pulled me out of bed. We were both super tired, so we kind of stumbled over to the dresser when Kendall pulled out a giant shirt. He swiftly removed my own (which at first I didn't protest to), but when he started to pull my pants down, I got more uncomfortable. I grabbed the sweat pants and moaned, forcing him to grab a pair of boxers from his drawer as well.
"Try to trust me right now Logan," he said kindly, "I swear I would never hurt you. Not ever again." It was all I needed at the moment to let go, so I stretched my arms out and let him finish stripping me till he was at my underpants. He stifled a giggle while pulling the boxers over my underwear and then grabbed the over sized shirt and pulling it over me. "Now let's go to sleep, you shouldn't be so hot this time." I flung myself into the bed, deciding to ignore comfort just so I could have Kendall's body around mine. He cuddled into me and immediately I fell back to sleep, tight in his arms, with no nightmares. I woke up a little while later to see Kendall paying for something at the door. I didn't like that he wasn't next to me, but seeing him made it a little better. I couldn't believe how much I'd started to need this boy. I barely knew him and what I did wasn't exactly flattering. He used to beat up gay kids because he was gay and then decided to stop and be a proud gay so I could love him, all while I was dating James who apparently was keeping in contact with him while he was in Therapy about me. But, I also knew a few good things. That he loved me, for one. That he needed my presence just as much as I needed his. That James was his friend too. That he made me happy again in a weird way. I know I'll never truly be fully happy because James is gone. He stole some of that from me when he died, but Kendall gave me back the rest of the pieces. He made me feel some-what hole again. And that was an amazing feeling to have at any time. He turned back to me and flashed that smile that made me smile too and locked the door. "What are you smiling about, Bambi."
"You never call me Bambi," I questioned.
"I only call you Bambi when you look like it, and right now, you're giving me big, brown eyes," Kendall said, putting the pizza box down and going over to the fridge to get two diet coke cans out. I laughed a little before finally getting out of bed and standing to re-see the apartment. Still as bad as the night before, but I could fix it; I'd just need some kind of tour of it.
"Uh, Kendall, Why don't you show me around your place," I said softly as I pulled on the sweat pants he took off of me last night.
"What else is there to see Logie," he retorted, walking up to me to plant a kiss on my head.
"You have a kitchen, don't you; why don't we start there," I said.
"Kinda," he motioned me forward, "Come see," and he led me to his closet; this was gonna be good. He pulled the door open and what did I see but a crap load of boxes over things like shelves and a stove and a box over were the mini-fridge was supposed to be. Apparently he had moved it. The kitchen was Narrow, but it seemed like it could fit two people. It also looked like before it was a kitchen, it was a walk-in closet. "So I do have one," he looked away, "I just use it for storage, not food." I attempted to walk in and was stopped by boxes and poorly tiled floor. This was gonna be my hardest project yet, but I refused to give up. Still, this all did prove one thing for sure. Kendall really was a straight guy who found other guys attractive. Or maybe it's that I'm an even bigger stereo-type than I thought. Anyway, I had a job to do and I immediately started bossing Kendall around.
"Go get all the cleaning supplies and bring them to me immediately," I started, picking up boxes in the process and moving them back into the room. "Next, help me move boxes to clear the Kitchen. We're gonna make it use able. Then, get all of the food out of the refrigerator and have it ready to be brought back into here." He was just staring at me in surprise before I barked, "What are you looking at, get to work, and hand me a banana."
"Are you sure you wanna do that boss," he said back smirking.
"Of course," I said, putting my nose in the air, "Now come over here and take this," I handed him the box before jumping back into the mess.
He took it away and then came back with the banana in hand, "I can't watch this," he said laughing.
But then he started giving orders, "You shouldn't, you should be lifting boxes." If he was going to be snarky, I would just leave, so I turned and walked out of the Closet/Kitchen (I really wasn't sure how to exactly classify it yet) and pealed the Banana, hurrying to eat it so it wouldn't be so suggestive to Kendall. Of course it wasn't fast enough.
"Be careful," he said grinning, "I think what you're doing is illegal in some states," he said, leaning against the door frame. I decided to play along this time and bit deep into the fruit before swallowing hard and licking my lips seductively. "Ah, come on Logie, don't do that to me, not after having been so good lately."
"Maybe that's motivation to get your job done," I said, turning away to throw the rest banana in the trash. I wasn't above being explicit to get this job done and I was determined too. If I was gonna stay in this apartment at any time, it should at least be presentable. I bent over and slapped my bottom, which kind of hurt, but it got Kendall's attention enough to head back to lifting boxes immediately. Maybe there was something to this sex thing after all, but to be honest, I vaguely remember it. That night was riddled with drama, and I kind of blocked out the alcohol parts to focus on getting through a hang-over. But, I could never admit this to Kendall; it'd be a little too embarrassing to admit to just remember a few moments, the clearest being running from him. And I guess the reason that is so clear to me is because it is a concern I still harbor deep in my mind. I knew Kendall was doing better. He was out-and-proud, but I'll never forget his past. And this most painful part of all is that I don't have James to run to this time. He's gone forever and there is absolutely no undoing that. If anything ever sent Kendall over the edge, I'd be doomed for sure. I couldn't risk Jo. Camille barely got away with me the first time. I didn't know Carlos well enough to trust him either. And maybe that was why trusting him was such a hard job for me. I knew that James gave his consent from the grave, which still made me teary eyed, but it wasn't that simple and never would be. I still had every intention to get out of this town like he said, but the way I was dependant on Kendall, I wasn't sure if I could. It'd been two or three days and already, I couldn't stand him being away from me. If he refused to leave, then I couldn't and that would be betraying James, who loved me enough to set up a contingency plan if he died. And maybe that was another reason for trust issues with Kendall. My feeling feel like tangled chords though. I can't seem to fully understand them or get them to work, they are just there. Which …
"Hey, Logie, you okay," Kendall said, interrupting my train of thought, "you're just starin into space."
"Yeah, just thinking," I said back, still not able to look at him.
"That's really startin to get annoying," He said, sitting on the bed next to me and putting the box down.
"I depend on you Kendall, and that scares me a lot," I said as frankly as possible, trying not to let any emotion out.
"Why does it scare you Bambi."
"Because our history hasn't been flawless, and I still barely know you, even though we've been through so much together."
"Logan," he started, "I swore to you that I'd never hurt you again. You know why; because that same addiction you have to me is the one I have to you. You're like a drug for me. I never want to be away from you at all, but I'll admit I've fucked up. A lot. But I'd do anything to make that up to you. I'd die for you just like Ja- he did. As long as you're happy."
"You'd leave this town for me?" I questioned, looking him in the eyes this time, making him give me that smile.
"I'd leave this planet for you," with that, he tilted my head forward and leaned in for a kiss. It wasn't as passionate as the ones with James. Maybe nothing could be. But it felt right. It felt better than right. It felt perfect. He broke the kiss and looked me in the eyes again. "You're breath-taking, you know that." He got back up from the bed and helped me, obviously noticing my deep blush as he pulled me to the kitchen. It was a little bigger without the boxes, but it was still cramped. It didn't have any pantry, just sets of shelves and a wet bar were the sink was. It didn't look like there was a dish-washer though, instead just a small pantry under the sink. I just jumped in because it would be easier to do now since everything was out of my way, so I started the cleaning. I scrubbed the walls back to white. Got the grime off the floor. Dusted the shelves with the duster from under the sink pantry. After a good hour and a half, it was ready to start being moved into. I came out and Kendall immediately got what it meant, so he picked up the mini-fridge and started hooking it back into the corner. Wiring and electrical stuff didn't really make a lot of sense to me, so instead of watching, I unmuted the TV and turned the channel from the baseball game that was on.
"I was watching that," Kendall said from the kitchen.
"You promised the only sport would be Hockey," I retorted.
"I didn't mean that exactly," he responded.
"Now you're lying."
"Not lyin, just addin to the truth."
"You win, but I'm not watching."
"What are you going to do to stop me," he said laughing as he jumped on top of me.
"I'll simply abstain from sex," I responded calmly as he put his face just inches from mine.
"I thought you already were," he laughed at that, but I decided to show no sign of humor.
"Forever," I looked away when he came down to kiss me.
"Wow, cold," he said after kissing my cheek, "But you win honey."
"Honey, really?"
"Yeah, cause you're still acting like my wife again."
"Oh, Look," I screamed, startling him to the point of getting off of me, "Hairsprays on; the original."
"What's that supposed to mean to me though," he responded.
"It's my favorite movie in this world," I said back, "please let me watch it."
"Anything for you dear," he mocked, walking away to finish the fridge, but I had no time to even watch him go; the theme song was starting.
"Hairspray," I sang along to the song at the opening, watching the retro kids prepare to dance, "moma told me not to use it, but if I don't, I'm gonna lose it."
"Wow," Kendall said from the kitchen, "You're a incredible singer Logie. Has anyone ever told you that."
"We've had this argument before Kendall, flattery gets you nowhere with me."
"If I was trying to flatter you, I would say you sing like a choir of angels. Anyway, everything is all set up for you to start to do whatever you're plannin on doin with this fridge." Kendall stepped out of the Closet/Kitchen and I stepped in, walking away from the bed and knowing that the next second would be baseball. And what do you know, the batter gets to second base. I'm guessing that's not Tracy Turnblad.
"Hey Kendall," I said, starting to scrub the inners of the tiny refrigerator so it'd be clean for food, "I thought you were gonna let me watch my movie. This is a breach in the deal." I smiled a little, thinking that that would for sure get him to turn it back.
"I let you watch it and even got to here you sing," he said, the grin evident in his voice, "isn't that enough."
"Well, I guess so," I said mournfully, "I'll just go home to watch it," I walked out of the Closet/Kitchen and started for the door when I heard Corny Collins voice again. "Oh, so I see you love this movie too," I acted mockingly surprised as I crawled into bed with Kendall and rested my head on his chest. The food could wait a minute.
"Don't. You. Know. It." He said through bared teeth as he rapped his arm around me. I loved my asshole boyfriend.
Author's Note: Sorry if the story is a little slow right now, but I feel like since this is a Kogan, it's super important to stress their relationship and watch it develop as fast as it has. I swear, big things are coming, but after the last big thing to happen, I'm going to wait a while. I guess that means the story keeps going. Sorry, NOT. Love ya. XoXo