Sonic Insanity

Thanks for reaching 200 reviews, guys. Oh, and ClanrhRn, this is the chapter you're in.

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Sonic was sitting in his room, organizing his sock drawer. "Hah! You thought you could sneak into the white socks, Mr. Black Sock… well, no luck for you!" With several quick movements, he stuffed the black sock where it belonged. The doorbell rang. Sonic hopped out of his room and went to the door. Nobody was there.

"Oh yeah, it must have been the doorbell to my room," said Sonic. "Wait… then how come when I opened the door, no one was there?" He tiptoed upstairs to his room, where a large number of cops were.

"Hmm… how did I not notice them?" wondered Sonic.

"He's got to be in there!" yelled one of the cops, even though the door was open and Sonic was clearly not inside.

"I know! We'll kick the door in!" submitted an officer.

"Good plan, men, but that door is bolted too tight," said Sonic, putting on a police badge and forming a group huddle with the officers. "Here's the plan. First, why are we after this Sonic fella?"

"Lieutenant Shadow ordered us to get him, sir," said one of the cops.

Sonic seethed. So, this was Shadow's little plot! "Good thinking, men. Search the room, but don't leave any signs of your presence!"

Sonic then realized his mistake. Under his bed was an enormous supply of stolen money. Shadow was setting him up!

"Stop! Don't search the room!" he shouted. "We… um… we need a search warrant!"

"We have one, sir," pointed out the cop, pulling it out.

Sonic "accidentally" tore it into pieces. "Not anymore!"

The police officers quickly pulled out several more. "We made copies."

Sonic seethed. "Well… um… this other room here seems more suspicious. Sonic wouldn't be in his own bedroom- he'd want to hide! Let's go into this room!" Sonic led the police outside Shadow's room. "Oh, it must be locked!" He pretended to try to open the door. "It is! We'll have to blow it open! Who brought the dynamite sticks?"

"Your mom brought the dynamite sticks!" shouted one of the police. Sonic gunned him down.

"Knuckles! What's all that noise out there?" shouted Shadow from inside the room. "Did the police arrest Sonic yet?"

This would be hard to get out of. Sonic made meaningless signals to the police and tried to disguise his voice as Knuckles. "No, not yet… they're going to, though!"

The police quickly set up the dynamite and lit the fuses. Sonic dashed out of the house (Knuckles and Tails were in the garage). Fortunately, the explosion mostly just damaged Shadow's room and the area outside of it. Sonic cackled as policemen and Shadow's stuff flew through the air. "Mwahahahaha! How amusing!"

Knuckles poked his head out of the garage. "Sonic, I told you that the baked beans weren't the best-HOLY DUTCH OVENS! What's happened here?"

Shadow emerged from the wreckage of his room. Covered in soot and holding a Chaos Emerald, he looked somewhat intimidating. "FAKER!"

Sonic dashed off, a furious Shadow behind him. They ran for a few miles until they reached a section of sidewalk to run down. Sonic tried to jump off the sidewalk for a better escape, but an obnoxious kid stopped him.

"Nuh uh! The grass is lava!" he said childishly. Sonic punted him into the distance and ran onto the grass.

"OW! It is lava!" he screeched as his fur was singed. Shadow was now extremely close. Sonic had nowhere to run, seeing as an enormous cement truck was driving at him on the sidewalk and the grass was lava. Wait… a cement truck driving on the sidewalk? The same one that had fallen on Tails in the last chapter? Very odd… Fortunately for him, an enormous section of sidewalk crumbled behind him, leaving Shadow stranded on the other side of the gap.

"Wow! The first time crumbling architecture has ever been GOOD in a video game!" Sonic cried triumphantly. Then he realized why the cement truck was on the sidewalk- it was spreading new cement. Sonic was quickly stuck up to his ankles in wet cement, which was drying very quickly. "Crud! Well, at least there aren't any other hazards…"

The cement truck began to leisurely run over him back and forth.

"OWCH! Well, at least- OUCH- Shadow isn't here- AAAAAARGH- to torment me!"

"Hi, faker," said Shadow, booting the cement truck away.

"I just had to say it, didn't I?" asked Sonic miserably.

"Yes, you did. I would have just killed you with a blast of fire, but it seems a shame to waste cement shoes, especially when they're already on…" Shadow pulled the cement out of the ground, with Sonic in it, and tossed it off a bridge. "Ha hah ha! Wait… was that bridge over water or land?"

"Land," said Sonic, hopping back toward him with the cement shoes still on.

"Curses!" Shadow threw Sonic into the ocean. As Sonic fell to the bottom, he thought…

"Man, if there was something really hot in this water, I bet the water would all evaporate!"

"Hi, gorgeous," said a barely-clothed group of Latino girls.

"AAAAAAAAAAAGH! Air! Air!" shouted Sonic. He began to breathe in, unaware that he was inhaling seawater. The girls were so hot that the ocean began to evaporate. Tails, always the sidekick, flew in, pulled Sonic out, and brought him back up to the surface. The seawater condensed and fell back into the ocean, and the Latino girls drowned.

"NOOOOOOOOOO!" he screamed, kicking and screaming. Knuckles held him down, but Sonic eventually kicked so much that the cement block shattered.

"Well," he said, "that was convenient."

"CHAOS CONTROL!" roared Shadow, appearing right in front of them.

"You know, you don't need to say that AFTER you teleport," pointed out Knuckles.

"Um… hey, Shadow," said Sonic feebly. "Lovely weather, isn't it?"

Shadow, furious beyond all belief, whistled. The police showed up, surrounding Sonic with guns and other weapons.

"Um… darn," Sonic said, in order to explain himself. He suddenly realized that all the police were women this time, and they were all his ex-girlfriends. How could this be any worse?

Suddenly a familiar tune began playing, one heavily overplayed by the radio. Knuckles drove up in a car… his pimp car, actually. He had all his pimp clothes on, and when he grinned, he revealed his large grill. But this wasn't a gold-and-diamond grill. He had actually jammed a grill in his mouth, too cheap to actually get a grill.

"Smile for me, daddy!" all the girls chorused at once.

"What ya looking at?" inquired Knuckles.

"I wanna see your grill!" they pouted.

"You wanna see my what?" asked Knuckles, evidently having hearing trouble.

"Ya, ya grill! Ya, ya, ya grill!" all the girls insisted.

"And the whole top diamond and the BOTTOM ROW'S GOLD!" howled Knuckles. All the girls ran away in fear of the Mighty Grill.

"Well," said Sonic grudgingly, "looks like your pimp skills were actually good for something once."

"Hey faker," said Shadow, "your mom's like breakfast on Sunday…" He whispered the rest of the insult. Sonic's face turned bright red.

"That does it! I won't hear any more of this! Shadow… time to meet your maker!" screamed Sonic.

"I've already met him, I was made by Eggman," explained Shadow. "And Black Doom. Oh yeah, if you haven't played that part of Shadow the Hedgehog, don't read the previous sentence."

"Oh… anyway… THIS MEANS WAR!" bellowed Sonic.

ClanrhRn suddenly appeared in a referee outfit. "All right, fellas, this is a war to the death! No crying, or complaining, or scratching! On your mark… get set… go!"

"People don't have wars like that," objected Sonic.

"Fine," pouted Clan. "Um… well… breakfast on Sunday?"

Sonic began to punch a wall, while Shadow laughed. Then Shadow realized he had been blatantly plagiarized, so Clan was teleported back where he belonged. Then… um… er…

Oh yeah…

THE WAR BEGAN!

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What was the "your mom" joke? I don't think I'll tell you… it's pretty sick. Anyway, review! Sorry for your short appearance, Clan, I had to add you in at the last minute.