First and foremost, need to thank my sweet, sweet beta, TheOtherBella, who gave me a much needed confidence boost. Thank you so much bb!
Now I have to thank all of you. I am so grateful for every story/author add and for every single review. Really, it means so much to me.
Some of you expressed your surprise that Bella didn't reciprocate with Edward. Also, some of you were surprised at how quickly Bella jumped into bed with him. Let me just say Edward will get his happy ending soon and every writer puts themselves in the character. I was never good at waiting….
There are some squirts of lemon down there, enjoy.
I don't own, I just play.
BPOV When I woke up, sunlight was streaming through the large glass doors off of Edward's bedroom.
I knew he had tattoos, but until that morning, I had never actually paid attention to them. After all, there were always too many other things to look at with Edward. But as he lay there sleeping, sunlight tickling his skin, I couldn't help but notice the ink for the first time. His arm was lifted over his head, he lay on his back, the covers had long been kicked aside during the night. On his left ribcage was a giant weeping willow. It was barren, its fallen leaves pooled down by the roots on the ground. I knew instantly that it was the personification of loneliness and my heart ached not only for him, but for me for understanding it immediately.
I wasn't expecting anything to be marked on his right side, his burned half, but along the inside of his leg, starting just above his ankle and making its way up to his inner thigh, was a column of angry flames. I could see that they culminated into something further up, something closer to his groin, but his boxers blocked my view. All I wanted to do was calm the flames, erase them from his body. Why would he want a daily reminder of his pain? Why would he permanently set himself on fire? Hadn't been through enough?
I was about to lift the fabric of his boxers to see the rest when he yawned.
"Morning," I said quietly.
He turned his head toward my voice. Opening his eyes slowly, he seemed confused and furrowed his brow.
"Did you sleep well," I asked.
He blinked a few times. Something seem to register in his head before he spoke my name.
"Bella?"
"Yes," I asked, amused. He seemed to think he dreamt me.
"You're actually here."
"Mhmm."
"I slept... really well actually. What time is it? Is that the sun?"
"Will you melt? You're not a vampire right? That's the kind of thing a girl needs to know."
He smiled.
"No, not a vampire, I just tend to wake up at dawn no matter what I do."
"Oh. Well it's just past nine."
"Hungry?"
"Always. I'll rustle us up some breakfast."
"Bella, please, this is my place; I'll do the rustling."
"Oh come on, please? I've been dying to get my hands on your kitchen."
"Never thought I'd be jealous of kitchen appliances," he mumbled. "Will it make you happy?"
"Endlessly."
"Then how can I refuse?"
"See, this is going to work right here," I winked and kissed him on the cheek.
I was turning myself around ready to jump off the bed, when something yanked me back. A set of strong arms wrapped around my torso and pulled me. When I was nestled against his broad, strong body, he kissed my neck. I shivered.
"You didn't think you'd be leaving this bed without a good morning kiss did you?"
I think I may have made some oh-so-sexy drooling noise before shaking my head.
He moved the hair from my face and neck with his right hand before blowing on the back of my ear. My whole body shuddered. When he took my ear lobe in his mouth and sucked it, I thought I would come right then.
"Jesus Bella, you smell like my body wash. Do you have any idea what a fucking turn on that is?"
"No, but tell me anyway."
He pressed his hips against my ass and felt what it did to him. I moaned. I could actually feel him getting harder against me. His arms traveled up from my waist, across my rib cage, until his hands found my tits. He cupped them through the fabric of his dress shirt and pushed his pelvis forward.
"You have the most incredible rack, Bella. So big and..." thrust "...shit, round."
I could feel an aching heat between my legs and rubbed my legs together. I wanted him to touch me, to make me feel like he had the previous night, but I also desperately wanted to take care of now rock hard dick poking at my ass.
"Edward."
"Bella."
"It's my turn to take care of you now."
"You already are, you're here, letting me fondle you."
Just to prove his point, he let go of my tits, grabbed both sides of the shirt at my rib cage, and pulled with one violent tug. Buttons flew, the shirt opened up, and before I could even protest, one hand was on my breast, the other worming its way between my legs.
"Open those legs, beautiful."
"But I want to touch you," I whined.
"Later. I want to hear you whimper first."
"Damn..." I knew it was a losing battle. I couldn't resist Edward offering to make me whimper.
"Open, please." God, just him using the word "please" got me worked up.
"Yes," I opened my legs wider, "yes," as his hand cupped my sex, "yes!" as his palm pressed into my clit.
"Oh God, Bella," he ground out as he slowly began rubbing his erection against my ass. "Are you wet already beautiful?"
"Yes."
When I felt his finger making its way past my lips, I started panting and he started grinding into my backside with gusto. The second his finger was buried inside me he growled and huffed - just like the beast he kept trying to convince me he was.
"I made you wet," he said as he began thrusting at my ass.
"Yes," I panted.
He pulled his finger out and ran up my slit till he found my nerves and started rubbing.
"I made you wet," he repeated again, thrusting and rubbing. "I made you wet," he snarled, "I made you wet," he said again. Over and over, like some erotic mantra he chanted. With each pass of his finger and thrust of his hips I could feel myself coiling tighter and tighter.
"Come with me beautiful!"
His grinding became more erratic, but his fingers wouldn't stop rubbing at me. I felt him tense behind me and although I'd never seen or felt him come before, I knew he was about to. When he yelled out and pressed himself against me, it urged my own orgasm and I let go. I could feel his moist boxers against my ass, and he could feel my release on his hand.
"Thank you, Edward."
"You have to stop that, Bella. Believe me the pleasure is all mine."
"I think the sticky mess on your hand says otherwise."
"Never thought I'd get to say this again, but I'm a lucky, lucky man."
He said it so earnestly. I was so immediately moved I had to blink back tears. He made me feel like the most beautiful woman in the whole city! And, I gave him something special in return. I couldn't pinpoint what I was giving him exactly, well besides my body, but whatever it was, it mattered to him.
"Take your shower, I'll start breakfast," I said making sure not to face him in case my stupid girly emotions got their way. I didn't want to alarm him or making him think I was sad or anything, because I wasn't - I was far from sad.
I got up and threw the ruined shirt on the bed. Naked, I walked to his closet and pulled out another monogrammed button down shirt and slipped it on. I thought I heard him groan again as I walked out the door. I couldn't explain what made me so sure and comfortable around Edward. Maybe it was how special he made me feel, maybe it was because he insisted on calling me beautiful, maybe it was because for the first time, I had met someone who needed me just as much as I needed him.
EPOV When she got up and walked to my closet naked, all I could do was stare at the way her waist gave way to her grab-worthy ass. I groaned as she took another one of my shirts and put it on. Why was it somehow sexier that she was putting on my shirt instead of taking it off? She walked out of the room and I stared at the doorway reveling in the wrinkled sheets, her smell lingering on my bed, pillows, and hands. I almost didn't take that shower.
As I was toweling off I could smell something wonderful coming from the kitchen. God, it smelled amazing. I almost ran to the kitchen naked but stopped myself. I threw on a pair of gym shorts and a shirt and found Bella at the range sauteing something. One hand was on her hip, her hair was pulled back with a spoon.
What I wanted to say was why are you so amazing? What came out was "what smells so amazing."
"Onions and butter."
"I had onions and butter?"
"Yes and not much else except for protein shakes."
"I can have it filled... I mean if you like... I mean I'm not assuming anything it's just... shit."
"Edward," she said turning to face me, "stop thinking please. Could you put a few slices of that terrifying looking bread in the toaster please?"
"Hey! It's not terrifying, it's spelt."
"Well, here's hoping with enough butter it'll be edible. I suppose you want your omelet whites only?" she said, just a hint of disgust on her tongue.
"God you make me sound like yuppie scum."
She burst out into laughter. Her head flew back, her whole body moved. The sound echoed through the apartment, it was incredible. I wanted to record it - play it over and over.
"Oh. My. God," she managed to get out through big gasping breathes. She walked to me, kissed my good cheek and said: "you're adorable right now, you know that?"
Adorable? I was adorable? Yikes, I'd gone from angry ogre to cuddly bunny in under 12 hours.
"So, yuppie scum, egg whites?"
"Umm... yes?"
"It's not a test, Edward."
"I'm just trying to decide what answer gets me away from adorable yuppie scum?"
"Definitely not egg whites - live on the edge."
"Right, then whole eggs, please."
She smiled, then started cracking eggs into a bowl. I popped some bread into the toaster and started the coffee.
"So how do you like your coffee?"
"Oh I don't. Well unless it's Cuban, slash, Turkish, slash Greek."
"So you like... sludge?"
"Yes," she chuckled, "sludge and tea."
I looked through the cabinets and found a box of tea. I couldn't tell what kind it was though because it was Lydia's and Polish. I took a mug and filled it water and was about to stick it in the microwave when Bella, sounding appalled, stopped me.
"You're nuking my water?"
"Yes?"
"Eww. Isn't there a kettle here?"
"No?"
"Ok, just hand it over I'll find a pot and boil it. I suppose you were going to dip my tea bag into the hot water too right?"
I felt like I was in the Twilight Zone. I didn't speak enough girl for the conversation.
"What should I do..." I asked cautiously.
While Bella was preparing the omelets she schooled me on proper tea-making. Hot water always went over the tea, not the other way around. Loose tea was best apparently. Traditionally herbal teas were to be had plain. But depending on the kind of tea, lemon and or honey were acceptable. That was unless of course you were having chai which traditionally wasn't served with milk but was socially accepted thanks to Starbucks. Of course black teas, depending on the type were served with milk and sugar, or lemon, but not both. I was dizzy with information by the time we sat down to omelets, toast, coffee for me, and plain mystery Polish tea for her.
Before I could even dig into my food, I had to know.
"Bella why on earth do you know so much about tea."
There was an silent beat as she looked at me seriously. I was terrified I had said something nasty or crass and not even realized it, but thankfully she started speaking.
"My mother was a huge tea fanatic. She used to throw these ridiculous tea parties for me and my friends when I was a kid. There was always some new exotic kind of tea. Lapsang Souchong, Hibiscus Vanilla, Lady Grey... She was a vegan so the tea sandwiches and pastries were interesting - and I'm being kind about the interesting bit. She threw me an Eloise birthday party one year. She found Eloise-type outfits at a school uniform store and got one for every girl. We were all in pleated skirts, white shirts, and red headbands. She even found pictures of the Plaza Hotel and pasted them all around the room... God, I almost forgot about that."
She went somewhere as she was speaking and remembering. I knew she could see her mother, her friends in their little outfits, the pictures on the walls. She was staring at some point just past my head. Her smile was warm and sweet as she was talking, but as soon as she was finished, the smiled faded and she looked blank, despondent. I wasn't sure what to do but I was ready to kiss her, or hug her, or slap her if I had to. Luckily she sort of snapped out of it on her own.
"Foods getting cold," she finally said looking at my plate.
Not wanting to upset her, or dwell on what ever had just happened, I took a bite and hummed. God it was delicious.
"How can something as simple as eggs, onions, and butter taste so good?"
"You know what I've discovered is the key to good cooking?"
"Tell me," I said as I shoveled another bite full into my mouth.
"It's not butter... its more butter."
"Butter... I knew something tasted familiar. So, do have plans today?"
I asked as casually as I could. I desperately wanted her to say no, but she didn't.
"I'm having lunch with Rose and Alice at one. Why?"
"I was just... curious. Would you like the car?"
"No! This whole driver thing is spoiling me rotten. I was just getting that cool New Yorker thing down, too."
"Was that a no then?"
She sighed, "not exactly. There's something to be said for not being smooshed against some stinky guy trying to feel you up at rush hour on the F train."
I saw red. Just the thought of someone touching her, pushing themselves against her made me want to break something. It was instant. One second I was enjoying my buttery omelet, the next I was ready to rip the spine out of someone.
"Well that fucking settled it. You're never taking the goddamn train again. Someone dared push themselves against my girl and feel you up? Never the hell again!"
Christ some asshole's hand's touched her without permission? I was angry enough to flip the table, but then I looked at her. She was biting down on her bottom lip, something I remembered her doing the previous night while my head was between her legs. Was she blushing? She was! God it was amazing to see her all flushed again. I could feel my balls tighten at the mere sight.
"Your girl," she asked all surprised and innocent.
"Huh?"
It was all I could get out because between the blushing and the biting down on her lip all I saw was her naked in my bed, making her noises, wiggling about.
"You called me, your girl..."
"Ya, and?"
I said absent minded because suddenly I wanted my hands on her naked hips, pulling her onto my dick. It seemed my wish came true because only seconds later, she was straddling my lap at the breakfast table. Shit she still wasn't wearing any panties and I could feel her heat on my thighs. When I felt her hand grab at my ever hardening length, I kissed her fiercely.
She started rubbing me through me through my shorts. The texture of the mesh against my dick was almost painful, but I didn't fucking care. I also didn't care when I felt her lower the elastic and let my erection free. When I heard her making some sexy little fucking noise I think I grew another two inches. Johnson was proud as a fucking peacock and hard as granite as her fingers ghosted across the back of my length. My head fell back and all I wanted to do was enjoy her touching me.
I felt her shift on my lap. Her warm, fucking moist slit was on my right leg. And as her hand grabbed my cock, she began grinding herself into my thigh. The second my eyes met her she kissed me.
"Beautiful, please don't stop."
She didn't. Her hand fucked me like a champ. And when I couldn't deal with her tits being covered in front of me, I ruined another shirt. As she pumped me I sucked and licked her tits egged on by her wet pussy fucking my thigh. I was a lucky bastard that the accident hadn't ruined my junk - I'd never been more grateful than I was right then.
"Edward, I'm going to come."
"Fuck, Bella. Come on me beautiful," I mumbled into her tits.
Seconds later, her hand stilled and squeezed me. Her body shook and tensed on my lap, and I felt her slick release on my thigh. I leaned back to watch her. She squeezed my dick so fucking tight as she came. She was biting on her bottom lip as I let go and came in spurts on her stomach. It was so fucking hot.
Then I was embarrassed though. I came on her stomach like we were in some awful porno. I felt like throwing myself over the balcony, but then she kissed me so sweetly. I grabbed around her body for a napkin on the table and wiped her stomach dry.
"I think..."
"Bella I..."
We started at the same time.
"Ladies first."
"I think we both need a shower."
"Together?"
"There's enough room in your shower for a small army, yes together."
I saw a documentary on HBO about strippers once. At one point they were talking about the difference between topless and nude dancing. Every single one of them said that although all they only wore tiny eye patch-sized thongs, dancing nude was crazy uncomfortable at first. They never thought they'd miss the sliver of nylon, but they all did. In my head, I knew Bella had seen every inch of me naked in one way or another, but the thought of her seeing all of me, without any armor at all, made me sweat.
I let her lead me to the bedroom. I watched as she took off yet another one of my shirts that I had ruined. I watched her get into the shower and start messing with the various knobs and controls. When she realized I hadn't stripped or walked in with her, she looked at me through the glass.
"You ok?"
"Ya."
"The why aren't you joining me?"
She told me she liked my honesty once before, I'd have to hope she wasn't lying.
"I'm..." I couldn't think of the right words. They all sounded winy and just plain silly in my head.
"Please tell me."
"I'm not entirely comfortable with you seeing me completely nude."
"I've already seen everything though right?"
I explained about the strippers and the thongs. She didn't laugh or run away, so that was good.
"I think I understand, but how long before you'd be comfortable? A day? A week?"
"I don't know Bella, this is all new to me."
"It's like a band aid right? It always winds up hurting more if you take it off slowly."
"This isn't a band aid."
"Edward, I know I've been a little forward," she said stepping out from behind the glass. "Trust me when I say I've never been that girl that jumped into a guys bed after having just met him. But you made me feel so beautiful and comfortable. And you were so quick to take care of me when I needed someone the most. Please let me do the same for you?"
So I didn't stop her as she walked to me and pulled my shirt over my chest. When she couldn't reach I took over and tossed the shirt aside. I closed my eyes when I felt her pull at my shorts. I'm not sure why. She was the one who had to look at me. Her eyes should have been shut, but when I felt the fabric pool at my legs, and when I finally opened my eyes - I didn't see disgust on her face. I just saw Bella.
Thankfully she didn't say anything cheesy that I knew would be a lie like "your so beautiful Edward," or "all I see is you, not your scars," because shit like that was a right out lie. Instead she talked about my art.
"I was wondering what the rest of the tattoo on your inner leg was," she said.
It was the first tattoo I got. I was angry and violent and depressed. Alice found Garrett and when I met him everything was still raw inside. I told him I want fire running up the clean, smooth side of my fucked up leg. I didn't want it to look like a cartoon or the side of some hicks truck, either. I wanted something that looked like it would be hot if you touched it. Weeks later, there were the flames, climbing up my leg. At the top, near my groin, was the skull of a demon with horns. Flames danced in and out of his eye sockets. I didn't ask for all that, but when I saw it it seemed to capture everything perfectly.
"Is there anything on your back?"
I turned to show her. There was a monster ripping through my flesh on my right shoulder down to the shoulder blade. It was black and white. One menacing ever-staring eye could be seen through the hole that the clenched hand with razor sharp nails had torn out of my flesh. It was the most gruesome of my tatt's. I wasn't in a good place when Garrett did that one.
I turned around after a minute. I felt her touch my upper right arm. There was an angel there, a black angel. Her wings were drooping and curled in. Her head was tucked between her knees, her hands wrapped around her legs. It took up my entire upper arm, from elbow to shoulder. Just below the angel's feet were some words and initials.
Never forgotten:
E.Y.
M.N.
E.C.
She didn't ask me questions, although I'm sure she had some, and for that I was grateful. It had been an amazing night and morning. Despite that, it was contact, talking, and disruption of my regular schedule that I had ever had. Having to answer questions about my demons would have been overwhelming-and I was sure I would have snapped and said things I didn't mean or would have regretted.
I don't remember walking into the shower with her. But I remember her hands on me - washing me. I remember tracing the lines of the tattoo on her back. It was so beautiful, but also barren and sad. I remember her kissing me. I remember holding her to me. I remember turning of the water, and drying her off. I remember her doing the same.
She was getting ready and put on the same outfit she wore the previous night. She looked amazing in it of course. There was something I wanted then. Something I never thought would be a possibility for me ever again. Never thinking I would ever feel comfortable enough with a woman again, or vise-versa, I had all but counted out any kind of meaningful sex. I wanted more of her though. I wanted to wake up next to her again. I wanted to be inside her - to really know what it felt like to connect with a woman, with Bella that way.
I was ashamed of what I had to ask of her. But there was no way around it. I needed to be sure that my past experiences had left me healthy and disease free. Not being a part of the human race for so long though, I didn't even know how to broach the subject. I knew I'd sound like a right out ass or pansy-assed little shit.
"Edward, you're thinking again," she said as we stood in the foyer together.
"I know. I just don't know how to ask this of you without sounding like a douche."
"Whatever it is, it can't be as bad as last night."
I cringed - the previous night seemed like a lifetime ago.
"I want to get tested," I said unsure, hoping she would fill in the blanks.
"Tested?"
"I mean, I've been careful - religiously so, but I couldn't live with myself if I ever..."
"Do you mean blood-work Edward?"
"Yes. I'd pay for it and everything, I even have a doctor if you don't. I just wanted to... god I feel like an ass."
"I have a doctor. I'll make an appointment tomorrow ok?"
"You don't think I'm an ass? It's not that I don't trust you or think you're diseased or anything... I'm just worried that I am. God did I just say that?"
She laughed a little, "Yes, you did. And no, you're not an ass, at least not because of that. It was... responsible of you."
"Ok. Better responsible than douchey right?"
She kissed me and walked out of the apartment. I promised to call her later that night, and she promised she'd let the driver take her home. I made a note for Alice to have my doctor stay late some night so I could go over for the tests and then I made a call I hadn't fathomed I ever would.
I went to my office and found the familiar card in my lower right hand drawer. The only one I kept locked. I dialed the number. One ring, two rings, three. Finally, I got the answering service message.
The Mistress can't take your message.
But whatever you desire awaits you.
"Mistress Zafrina, this is Phantom. I will no longer be needing your services, thank you."
A/N
So I had every intention of including her lunch with the girls but it ended itself so nicely there. Next week, lunch and then I'll be pushing the story forward a bit.
I'm on twitter if anyone wants to twit with me: (at)Zhivago3
Reviews are like fluffy, buttery, omelets.