Who Wins? Doctors
"So", the eleventh Doctor started as he slid down the wall to sit upon the floor, "Any ideas?"
"No", Ten replied from the place next to him.
"Nothing", Seven added from the other side of the room.
"I did hear something mentioned possibly about a competition", Five told them all.
"A competition, hmm?" One stood up straight, leaning slightly onto his cane, "And who could possibly compete against me?"
The eleven Doctor's looked about each other hoping for at least one of them to come up with something. But it seemed that each of them knew just about the same as the other. It was a conundrum. Their captor had said nothing, shown them nothing bar the corridor they walked down, and this room. No matter how much each of their companions screamed and shouted, not one word escaped the large lips of the even larger bodied men who drug and pushed them into these cells; Doctors in one room, companions in another.
"They can't possibly want us to compete against the companions", Eight hoped, "They must know that together we would win".
"Ah, but you haven't met the recent additions have you", Eleven pointed out.
"Aye", Four agreed, "and if I'm not mistaken, there are two Sarah's from two different points in our timelines, and at least two Romanas, so they definitely have the upper hand in numbers".
"Don't forget Donna", Ten added, "She is just as smart as us now. Possibly even more so".
"Well", Two started, "I jolly well hope that they don't have any nasties for us to face down. Don't think a Dalek would fair too well seeing this many of us together".
"I'd love to see that", Nine commented darkly from his damp corner away from the rest of them.
"So, all that is left is a competition between me", Three suggested.
"That idea sounds reasonable", Six agreed.
"But what could they get us to compete on?" Seven wondered.
"Well, if it is on overall knowledge", Five started, "Eleven would win seeing as he is the oldest and most experienced".
"But quick thinking" Eleven protested, "One would unquestionably win".
The whole room agreed, and then they all went into deep thought. "Well, it can't be fashion sense", One semi-laughed, "I mean look at us. A clown, a dandy, an eccentric, a cricketer, a colour-blind, a prepared for all eventualities, a Victorian enthusiast, a removal man, a tall lanky idiot who never runs out of breath, and a baby. I'm not looking forward to regenerating I'll tell you".
His following ten regenerations laughed. Not at just each other, but at themselves as well. This competition was definitely not going to be on fashion sense considering their track records. "They couldn't seriously consider a physical fight", Nine stood forward, and looked at Ten and Eleven, "No offense, but I would beat you two hands down".
"Yeah", Ten nodded in agreement, "But three would whip all our arses".
"But we young-uns would give him a run for his money", Five laughed.
"Do you want to put that to the test?" Three raised his left eyebrow.
Five shut up straight away. "What about technological ability?" Two suggested.
"Going hands free, Five, Six, Seven, and Eight would win", Ten informed them.
"What do you mean?" One wondered.
"My sonic screwdriver was destroyed", Five said quietly.
"And you couldn't be bothered to replace it", Six shook his head.
"Hey, I haven't seen you try to replace it", Seven argued and stood up for five at the same time.
"Okay", Eleven stepped in, "For the ones of us who do have a sonic screwdriver, who would win?"
Nine and Ten looked at each other. They knew the answer straight away. "We would", they answered together.
"Now how did you get to that conclusion?" Three demanded.
"Yeah", Eleven jumped in, "Look at mine, it is so much bigger than yours".
"Oh no, we are not getting into that fight now are we?" Eight moaned.
"No no, no, no, no", Ten said quickly, "Look, the original just made a noise yeah?"
"Suppose", Two said, "I like that noise".
"We all do", Seven told him.
"Well, ours have lights", Nine informed them all.
"Oh, just because it is a bit more flashy, makes it all the better?" Three argued.
"Umm, yeah", Ten told him.
"I can live with that", Three nodded, and looked as Two and One agreed with him.
"And what still makes your better than mine?" Eleven wondered.
"In terms of the visible light spectrum, blue is better than green", Nine told him.
"So size has nothing to do with it?" Eleven asked.
"NO!" they all shouted at him.
"Okay", Eleven felt the need to crawl away and hide in some obscure corner.
"Oh yeah", Ten said to Nine as they high-fived each other; "We are so totally the best".
"All of us", Nine corrected him.
"Agreed", each and everyone one of them said in unison.
And all the while this was going on, whilst the others were discussing who was the best, Four sat rocking back and forth in one place. The only thing other than this that he could do was to repeat over and over again; "I'm the best. I would win everything".
AN: Right, I know lots of dialogue. But it felt like it had to be. Anyway, I wish to thank Erica (see my fav authors list for further details) for putting this idea in my head. The things we talk about in college these days. So, my question to you all this time is which Doctor would win if they were put into one room and there could only be one survivor. Completely disregard timey wimey laws of time and paradoxes.